31. Sawyer

31

The ancient sofa creaks as I lower her onto the hard cushions, springs twanging alarmingly, but I don't give a damn. Let the neighbors hear. If I take her, they're going to hear a lot more than that, I'll make sure of it.

I'll make her scream my name.

The frustration of wanting her, needing her all this time is shifting into a feral desire that has me pressing her into the sofa and bowing over her, nestling between her legs. She's already pushing my shirt up and I'm shoving a hand under her blouse, and I can't stop kissing her.

Fuck, I want her so badly.

I rise a little, braced on one hand, to let her pull my shirt over my head, and I throw it to the floor. Then I haul her blouse up and off her, and stare down at her tits. She's wearing a sort of bikini triangle bra, plain black cotton, but the way her breasts strain under those triangles has my dick trying to burst out of my pants.

Wow…

She whispers my name, and I don't even ask if she's done this before. I don't need to, not with the way she grips my arms, the uncertainty in her eyes. If she has, it's not a habit, and as for me, I'm not a grand expert, either, like I've said before.

Thanks to the internet, though, I know enough to make it good for her. For both of us.

And I know what I want. Pulling the flimsy cotton triangles aside, I gaze down at her dark pink nipples. They are hard already, and when I tease one with my thumb, she moans.

Best sound in the world.

I grin down at her, then I put my mouth on one and lick. Sweet. Fuck, it's delicious, and the sounds she's making even more so. I play with her nipple, toying with the other using my fingers, and she arches up, rubbing herself against my hard-on.

A groan makes its way up my throat. I'm so damn hard.

Strangely, all my anxiety seems to have vanished, or at least taken the back seat. I may like fantasy and romance books, but I'm not the sort to believe that anxiety can just disappear if you are with the right person—and yet… And yet, it's as if my body and mind agree that I'm right where I'm supposed to be, doing just what I'm supposed to do.

Her body is my temple, I'm here to bind myself to her. I need her, and I need… a pack, my pack, I need…

I've stopped sucking on her nipple, and she cups my face. "Please…"

"Yeah?"

"Sawyer… Don't tease me."

"No?" I smirk down at her, pushing thoughts of a pack, any pack, out of my head. I'm here with the prettiest, sexiest, savviest girl, the girl I've wanted for so long. "I want to taste you."

And I scoot down between her legs, as she moans a reply I hardly register—just enough to know it's positive.

That's all I need to know.

I'd already rolled her long skirt up, too worked up to take the time and take it off her. The soft cotton is easy to roll around her hips, and goddammit, she's still wearing those black stockings with the red bows at the top.

Her panties are plain, the same black cotton as her bra, simple but so damn sexy, too. Who knew there was such a sex goddess under the flowing skirts and blouses I'd always seen her in? Though, honestly, she could be wearing her grandma's underwear and I'd still be so hard for her. She'd be sexy in a hemp bag.

Dragging down those black panties, I part her legs more, and I suppress the urge to wolf-whistle. Damn, she's soaked. And so pretty down there, rosy and shiny. She smells great. Amazing. Makes my mouth water.

And although I've never gone down on a woman before—or a man, let's be honest here, but I've seen it done many times—I just know I have to taste her, lick her, tease her. I've heard girls talk at the café. I know they like it just as much as men do.

So I take the plunge, quite literally, into her sweet pussy. Dive in and feast. Lick and suckle and play with her hard little clit. Swipe my tongue all over her, then push it into her, and the sounds she makes… I'm leaking in my pants, my balls painfully tight, my cock burning.

Her fingers dig into my hair, tugging. She arches up again when I focus on her clit, sucking on it, and use a finger to fuck her pussy with. Looks like this is a good combo, as she goes wild, and fuck, I'm harder than I've ever been. She's enjoying this, so I add another finger.

"Sawyer!" She comes apart, shaking and clenching around my fingers, and she's wetter than ever. I lick at her and she shakes again. "Oh, God…"

Lifting my head, I grin at her. "You liked that."

A breathless laugh escapes her. "How did you guess?"

"The way you said my name."

"That's all that clued you in?"

My grin widens. "I could eat you out all day."

She reaches for me, and I press between her legs again, wincing as my cock twitches. "It was amazing."

"Brin," I say hoarsely. "I know you just came, but I need to be inside you."

I'm not an alpha. I don't feel confident enough to just thrust into her, knowing what she loves and needs. To just fuck her without an explicit invitation. If she says no, not now, then I'll have to jerk off.

But she pulls my face down to kiss my mouth. "God, yes… I want to feel you inside me."

"One sec. Are you an omega?" I ask, because omegas tend to be fertile only during their heats.

"No, I'm a delta."

"Fuck. Okay. And are you on the pill?" I hate to break the moment, but this feels important, and I'm proud of myself for thinking to ask.

"I keep track of my cycle, don't worry."

"Good. Then…" I can't keep up with the brain work, I've used what neurons were still firing already, so I lift myself just enough to pull my cock out of my pants.

Ah, hell… Just holding my dick in my hand feels like too much. I'm going to come before even sliding into her. That'll suck. I take a few breaths, try to think of something unsexy. Like the loan I got from my parents. The bills I have to pay. Potato's balls when he accidentally flashes me.

"What's wrong?" she whispers.

"Nothing's wrong. I'm too excited," I say truthfully. "You're so damn sexy I'm in danger of coming just from looking at you."

She blushes, from her neck to her ears and the tip of her pert nose, and fuck, that's cute. She's cute as much as she's sexy, and it pulls at a vulnerable part of me that wants to protect and cherish her and make sure she's always okay.

Though now my main desire is to sink deep inside her, press her down with my body and kiss her mouth as I fuck her.

The second I think my dick isn't in danger of exploding right the fuck now anymore, I nudge at her pussy with the tip. She's slick and hot, and the head of my cock slides inside easily. I groan, my eyes almost rolling up inside my head with the pleasure of it as I thrust deep.

"You okay?" I ask, strangled, thrusting even deeper until I'm seated inside her, and fuck, it's amazing. Never thought it could feel this good.

She nods, drawing an unsteady breath, and pulls me down for a kiss. As I lie over her, the movement drives my dick just a bit deeper, and we both moan.

"God, oh…" Tearing her mouth from mine, clutching at my shoulders, she rocks up, and my world splinters. I can't breathe, it feels so good as her pussy pulses around my cock. "You feel good…"

I can't speak. I can only lift my hips and then slam back, groaning out loud. Not sure who the neighbors will end up hearing, in the end. I'm probably making even more noise than Brinlee. The sofa creaks as I thrust again, and again, her slick pussy gripping me, her fingers digging into my shoulders, her mouth slack, her breathing labored as I move inside her.

My first time with a girl.

It's incredible.

She's incredible.

The pressure coiling in my gut is reaching a breaking point. Gritting my teeth, I thrust a few more times, wanting to pleasure her, wanting her to fall first.

And then my balls clench, and my dick jerks, and the pleasure drowns me—especially when her pussy tightens like a vise, the same way it had around my fingers, and I know she's coming, too.

She cries out, and I gasp out a curse, caught inside her, coming so hard I see stars. The affection I've been feeling for her swamps me, making my eyes burn. I want to kiss her, hold her, rock her. Her scent is all around me, and it's the best thing ever. I want to stay here forever.

"Stay," she says, an echo of my thoughts, and I roll beside her, almost falling off the sofa.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"Then I'll stay." I get up, lifting her in my arms. "Show me to your bedroom, my lady."

I'll stay the night, then, at least. That's already more than I'd hoped for. So much more.

Who has ever been able to see what forever looks like, anyway?

The night is a series of images stitched together loosely. Her dark bedroom and hard bed where we crash together, laughing and pulling the covers over our heads.

Dreams, fitful wakings, only to find her rolling back into my arms, making everything all right again.

Her smile in the dark, like a star.

Her body against mine, like a blessing.

Next time I open my eyes, the room is bathed in gray morning light, and she's awake, gazing at me with those serious, dark eyes.

Unable to help myself, I kiss her forehead, and when she tips her face up, I kiss her lips. "Morning," I say.

"Morning."

Now we're both smiling.

"What's on your mind?" I ask.

"That I swear I had planned on making tea and asking what's your favorite color last night, not… this."

My smile fades. "Do you regret it?"

"No." Her smile makes a comeback. "I don't."

"It's green," I say. "My favorite color."

"I'm partial to red."

"It suits you."

We both fall silent. I should be getting up and out of here. I need to go home, shower, change, open the café. I need to think. And fuck, the meeting with that pack is tonight.

"What's on your mind?" she asks, caution creeping into her voice.

"Nothing much," I lie. "Only that I'm not home, and Potato will worry. He'll complain bitterly tomorrow. Probably won't forgive me for days."

"Potato?"

"My cat."

"You have a cat?"

"I do. It's a kitten." I grin at her. "Does it get me any brownie points?"

"Perhaps." She grins back, and my heart feels very light. "So you're going back right now?"

"God, no, unless you're kicking me out."

"I'm not."

"Then tell me more about you. What's your favorite book?"

"Can't choose one, sorry," she says. "Can you?"

"Good point. Okay, then what are you reading right now?"

"I'm re-reading this fantasy romance series, Pandemonium Academy Royals. There's a spinoff series coming out soon and I want to be ready."

I consider that. "Is it steamy? I don't have to read a thousand pages before they get it on?"

"You haven't even asked what it's about."

"Let me guess… An academy? Magic? Royals?"

She laughs. "Okay, spot on. And no, you don't have to wait a thousand pages for things to heat up."

"Good."

"The girl gets a nice pack. Four men."

Four. I think of Roman's texts, of Archer's and Kyrian's protective stance when her boss marched up to us. I think of steam, of sex. I wonder what it would be like to have them here with us.

She scoots away from me and rolls onto her belly. I stare where her tits rest on the mattress, my morning wood painful. "Do you talk like this with the pack, too?" she asks.

Damn, can she read my thoughts?

"The McGraw Pack? No."

"Is there another one?"

"Yeah, and today I have to meet them," I blurt out, and wince. I hadn't meant to say that out loud. "Fuck. Fuck, I…"

"What? Seriously?"

"My parents chose them for me." The words roll out of me. An avalanche of truth. "I'm supposed to choose a pack by next week. A pack to claim."

"And you…" Her brows go up. "You want them?"

"Want them? I haven't even met them yet."

"I thought you wanted the McGraw Pack."

"I do. And I want you. Brin…" At her puzzled expression, I let out a self-deprecating laugh. "My parents have power over me. Financial power. It's complicated. Nothing anyone can help with."

We're silent again, and this time the silence stretches. It's sinking in that I basically told her I can never be with her, right after spending the night with her.

Holy shit, Sawyer, you're on fire today. Such a fucking catch. Such an asshole.

Thing is, I hadn't thought that far when I had followed her here, when I had fallen into her. It had all seemed like a dream, a dream come true, but now I'm sure the look in her eyes speaks of betrayal.

"I should go," I say again, and this time she doesn't try to stop me.

This was it, I realize, and my hands start to shake as I sit on the bed and swing my legs over the side. This one night was all I had. That sense of perfect companionship, of a perfect fit, that sense of belonging and tranquility, is now gone.

My big mouth shattered it.

Then again, fuck, imagine if I hadn't said anything and let her hope there could be something between us.

If she wanted it.

Now who's the arrogant confident ass, Sawyer? Sleeping with you doesn't mean she wanted anything from you.

Regardless. That was rude. I shouldn't have slept with her in the first place, not knowing what I know, that I will very soon be with a pack and she won't be in it.

Unless I convinced that pack to add her?

Would they?

Would she want it?

I glance at her, but she's not looking at me. Fuck, fuck… "Brin, just… promise you'll call me if you ever need anything."

She stares at me with huge eyes. "Sawyer…"

"Promise me."

"Can't promise that," she whispers. "You have no right to offer that."

My chest is too tight to breathe.

"I'm going to get dressed," I finally say, feeling like the lamest moron that ever existed, and go to the living room to find my clothes. My hands are now shaking so badly that I have trouble pulling on my pants. I've fucked up yet again. Fucked up badly.

What the hell do I do now?