Chapter 8 Riley

D rowning myself in work is the only thing keeping me sane. Every time I think about Alex, a wrenching pain shoots through my chest – so I distract myself with calls about production schedules and contestant interviews.

Speaking of, my phone trills out. “Hey, Delilah. What do you have for me?”

“Riley! It was such a great idea to speak to Darren about his friends. I still think he’d be a perfect candidate for the show, but he sounded pretty reluctant to the idea when I brought it up.”

I manage a small laugh, trying to imagine my gruff, head-down cousin delivering cheesy one-liners in front of a camera set. It feels nice to smile momentarily, but the heavy sensation in my chest remains.

“Anyway, he had this one guy that he thought could be a good fit. Apparently, he lives close to your family’s ranch, so I just told him to drop by so you could interview him in-person. He said he wanted to say hi to Darren anyway, so it works out perfectly. I think he’ll be there in a half hour.”

“Alright, sounds good. Will you ask the team to shoot me any background info on him so I can probe?”

“Sure thing!” Delilah hangs up.

A little while later, I hear a knock on my door. I still haven’t received that info from Delilah, which is annoying. But I guess I’ll wing it. Darren is standing on the other side of the door, and he takes in the mess of materials scattered around me. “Hey smiley. Or rather, not-so-smiley. How are you doing?”

I shake my head slowly and sigh. The fight with Alex was excruciating, but it was liberating to state out loud what I actually needed. “You know, D, things aren’t so great right now. But I’m really glad to be back in Bandera and around family — in fact, I think I’ll probably stick around home a little longer than I originally planned.”

Darren chuckles. “Well that’s lucky for you, smiley — I’m baking a kickass bourbon pecan pie next week, and it would be a shame for you to miss that. By the way, did Delilah tell you about my guy?”

I grab a camera so I can capture some footage for my notes, then follow along behind Darren as we start walking around the side of the shack. “Which one of your friends is this? Do I know him?”

Darren smiles. “You do, actually. I initially thought he was kind of a troublemaker, but it turns out I judged wrong. He’s a great guy. And a huge fan of yours. He really wanted to meet you.”

I roll my eyes. “He’s a fan of the show? That probably means he’s just chasing clout.”

Darren stops as we round the corner. “Or maybe he’s chasing something else.”

I stop too. Alex is standing there, the grief and longing on his face softening his sharp features. He looks so good that I almost forget how broken I feel. How broken he’s made me feel.

Darren looks between us before turning around. “I’ll let y’all be.”

I stand there, refusing to take a step. What could there possibly be left to say?

Alex approaches. “Ms. Flores. It’s so nice to meet you. I’m Alex Park James, and I’ve been following your work for 18 years. I think you’re extraordinarily talented.”

I shake my head and hold my ground. Alex continues. “I wanted to share a little bit about why I think I’d be a good fit for your show. I’m a chef, but I grew up here in Bandera working on my family’s ranch. I’m also a huge jerk from time to time, which I hear can be an asset for reality TV.”

“Oh? How so?” I stare Alex down. It’s going to take much more than a cutesy ambush to convince me that we can salvage what’s between us.

Alex steps close to me, our bodies brushing. His voice dips lower. “Riley. I’m so sorry. I owe you an apology and an explanation for everything.” He takes a deep breath.

“That night I left Bandera, my mom and I had a huge fight. You know I always felt like I was letting her down, and that night she said something that reinforced my own fears. That I was never going to figure out my path in life. It was stupid, but I convinced myself that leaving Bandera was the best thing for us – you could be free to carry out your plans, without me dragging you down. But I know now that it was selfish.”

“The truth is that I’ve been projecting my own insecurities onto you. From the very beginning of us meeting, you’ve been nothing but supportive of my decisions, just like I’ve always genuinely been of yours. I’m the one that’s my own worst critic. You were right last week – instead of talking to you, instead of respecting your perspective, I’ve just been listening to that critic and charging ahead. Maybe that was understandable when we were kids. But it’s absolutely not acceptable now.”

“You’re right,” I shoot back. “It’s not. It hurts both of us when you latch on to that story about yourself. And it’s not my job to convince you otherwise.”

Alex nods. “You’re totally right. I’m recognizing that proving myself – im proving myself – doesn’t have to be an endless quest. Just like prioritizing stability and success doesn’t have to be yours. I know you feel like so many people depend on you, Riley. But it’s okay to do things just for you.”

My hand travels down to the camera at my side. So he has been listening. Alex sees me, just like I see him.

“I love you too, Riley. I always have, even if I’ve been too scared to say it. And if you’re willing to give this a go, I promise to never leave you like that again. We’ve already waited half our lives for this. I want to spend the next half of our life together, figuring it all out. I want to be there for you as you figure out what version of work makes you happy again, and as I do the same.”

I think back to Alex’s eyes staring into mine all those years ago, the anger and hurt leaving his face as he pressed the biology book into my hands. The sadness that had filled it as he said goodbye. The love.

I look back up from my memory, at the man who stands in the flesh and blood in front of me. I take in those same eyes in that same beautiful face, the one I’ve loved for 18 years. I’m ready for new memories, rather than rehashing the same ones over and over.

“Well, Mr. Park James. Thank you for your time. I don’t think this is going to be a fit, though.”

I take a step closer to Alex, a half smile popping up on my face. “Fortunately, I have thoughts on a different role you could play.”

I close the distance between us and place my hands on his chest. Alex swoops down and wraps me up in his strong arms and then we’re kissing with the same zeal as the very first time we kissed. Like no time has passed.

When we come up for air, I pull the camera from my side and snap a photo of Alex beaming at me. As usual, he’s my favorite subject. He laughs and shakes his head, then turns the lens towards both of our faces as he presses down on the shutter – both of us captured together.

“I love you,” he says again.

“I love you, too.” I say back.

***

6 months later

“Let’s pan out a little, okay? I want to make sure we get the full Park Ranch sign in the background.”

Delilah looks my way with a mix of exasperation and affection as our DP adjusts. “I had hoped that producing someone you’re actively in love with would have made the shoot days a little shorter, but I see that’s not happening.”

Alex guffaws and I glare at him not to lose his mark. “It’s okay, Delilah, she’s just trying to spend as much time staring at my grill as possible. Sounds like a pretty easy job, if you ask me.”

I shake my head at him. “We’ll see how confident you feel once you get through this scene, okay? Roll!”

There’s some annoying truth to Alex’s comment. As he introduces our new show, Rancher Roots, I admire how the sunlight hits his shoulders, accentuating the way his shoulders perfectly fill out his denim jacket.

“How’d I do, boss?” Alex hugs me from behind and breathes in the top of my head after he wraps. My insides swell with gratitude as I think about this chance we have to continue our love story.

“Eh, I could think of a few pointers.” I grin back at him.

Alex presses harder against me and his hands slip a few inches to my hips. “How do you feel about sharing those pointers with me at home?” he growls.

He and I have done plenty of sharing over the past few months. I stepped away from Eligible and into my first ever extended time off. It was the first time since high school that I wasn’t either working, in school, or both - and I could feel my passion for film returning with each day. Having Alex alongside me, encouraging but never pushing, made the return to those old dreams even sweeter.

I intertwine my fingers with his and lean my head against his broad chest. “You know, I was hoping to tuck into that brisket tonight, but I supposed I can be persuaded to skip the main course.”

Alex laughs softly and his body rippling against mine sends shivers up my spine. “Oh no, there’s no way we’re missing out on that perfection.”

I smile and turn around, leaning up to kiss him softly. “So you finally figured it out? Are we going to get some brisket on the menu for the soft launch?”

“Turns out you were my missing ingredient. And I plan on thanking you by satiating every one of your appetites tonight.”

***

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