Chapter Ten

Nina

I heard the whine of applied brakes outside my house, and I looked through the window to see the moving van slowing to a stop. I wasn't sure how to feel. Excited? More like nervous.

It's been two weeks since I told Jordy she could move in. Since then, I've been working hard to clean the place up and make it somewhat presentable. I'd managed to clear a good portion of the living space, plus clean the kitchen so it didn't look like dumping ground. I also cleared Maren's old room on the main floor, piling everything in mounds around the boxes in the basement. It's kind of like pushing dirt from one corner of the house to the other. Actually, it's exactly like that—not one thing leaves the house, it just finds a new corner to hide.

I open the front doors, and there's Brayden on the sidewalk, looking up at me. He taps his hat in a kind of salute, paired with his lopsided grin, and I feel the breath leave me. But then five other guys show up behind the moving van, piling out of the truck so they can get to work. They're guys from Brayden's ranch, and holy hell, I'm so flustered. I mean, it's like the whole cowboy calendar is in front of my house, lifting heavy furniture up the stairs, and giving me that country nod that would make any girl weak in the knees.

Except, I can't keep my eyes off Brayden. After all this time, I was sure the thought of him would fade into a distant crush, something that could be dismissed as a mere whim. At least, I had hoped. Not so, as I take in the shape of his muscles under a tight fitted t-shirt, the broadness of his shoulders, and the subtle hint of dimples whenever he's hoisting another box in his thick arms. I also note the kind warmth of his blue eyes whenever he looks at me, which are mere glances—as if, like me, he's trying not to linger.

Or maybe he's just trying to let go of our last conversation, when we admitted our feelings, even as he told me it was not going anywhere.

My heart hurts whenever he looks at Jordy. What is he thinking when his eyes catch hers? Has he forgotten everything we said? Is he excited they'll now have more time with each other? Does he picture their future together, looking forward to leaving for New York or Los Angeles, or wherever they land?

Jordy and I have talked several times since I agreed she could move in. There's still a careful edge to our relationship, and sometimes it feels like we're trying on kindness like you'd try on a different style of coat. There are fragments of our old friendship, and every now and then, I relax into our conversations as if there's nothing wrong at all.

But things aren't as they used to be, and I'm not sure how it ever will be. I'm still pissed that she believed such awful things about me, and that she never even came to me to find out the truth. I'm pissed that she went as long as she did without even speaking to me, and wouldn't even take my calls. To go from being best friends to bitter enemies at a time when I needed family the most, it's a hurt I don't know how to get over.

Plus, we're not kids anymore. Both of us have changed. She's no longer this boy crazy teen following makeup tutorials and fashion blogs. Jordy is mellower now, with a calm demeanor and a secret smile for Brayden every time she passes; and I'm no longer the same meek girl who moved into my grandmother's house as an escape, though I do still feel like a kid around her. Especially in the face of her relationship with Brayden.

With so many hands on deck, the move-in portion takes less than an hour. The eye candy cowboys take off soon after, piling into a huge Dodge Ram just like Brayden's. It's like some sort of guy code. If you're ripped and look like you can ride anything like a champ, you drive a huge truck. Despite my annoying infatuation with Jordy's fiancé, I can't help hoping I'll see more of these guys around.

Brayden stays behind, at first to help Jordy unpack her room, but after a while, he joins me in the front room while she stays behind.

"She's particular about where things go," he shrugs, sitting on the couch near the love seat I'm on. There's an awkward silence between us, and I realize that whatever I'd felt before, I'll never feel it from him again. That list I wrote years ago is tucked in the top drawer of the curio just a few feet from him. As stupid as it seems, I want to show it to him—to prove that I actually knew him first, even though we'd never laid eyes on each other. I want to ask if he wasn't meant for me, why is he everything I wanted in a man? Why do I forget that I don't want a relationship when he's near me, and now feel like I can't breathe because I can't have him?

"I'm glad you and Jordy made up," Brayden says, breaking the track of my racing mind.

I let out a breath, gather my wits, then I look at him and smile as if everything is fine .

This is fine. I'm not dying a little every time you mention my cousin's name.

"I think we have a long way to go. I still don't trust her, but I guess it's a start." I realize as I say it that maybe I shouldn't be so forthcoming. He's Jordy's fiancé. It's possible that anything I say to him is just going to get back to her. I should pretend everything is fine, that Jordy moving in feels completely natural.

But there's something about Brayden that makes me want to open up. Especially with the way he listens. His eyes stay on mine, and for a moment I think he gets me. Maybe he understands how hard this is. All of it.

"For what it's worth, Jordy's relieved you both are speaking again," Brayden says. "And she feels bad this didn't happen sooner." He leans closer to me, and I hold my breath. But he just nudges me with his knee. "Thank you for doing this. I know you two had your issues, but I think this could be great for both of you. I know Jordy is itching to get to wedding planning. She's been hitting my mom up for ideas the past couple weeks, so this will definitely speed things along."

And just like that, reality hits. I look at my hands and nod. When I look back up, I peer into his face, searching for something that tells me I'm not a complete idiot. I see nothing.

"Well, that's all of it," Jordy says, emerging from the hallway where her room is. I scoot away from Brayden, even though nothing happened, nor is it going to happen. But she's not even looking at me. Her eyes do a brief sweep over the living room, and I feel my defenses prickling as I also look around, noting everything I missed when I cleaned in anticipation of her arrival. The stack of papers in a messy pile on the curio. The mountain of clothes I forgot in a chair across the room. The layer of dust that still hugs the coffee table.

Jordy turns back to me, a broad smile on her face as if she weren't just judging me. "Should we celebrate by going out? My treat."

"It's okay," I say, settling back into the couch. "You two go on without me. I'll just stay here and straighten up."

Jordy shoots me a pained smile. "Please come with us," she says. "You're letting me live here, and you both helped so much to get me here. Let this be my small way of saying thank you."

Brayden stands and she takes his hand. When he looks at me, he tilts his head toward the door.

"Come on, it will be fun," he says.

This will be the opposite of fun.

I get up, grabbing my purse from the table. "Fine, but I'll pay."

"Like hell you will," Jordy says, opening the door and leading the way out. "You're saving me a shit ton of money. It's the least I can do."

But I got the inheritance. I can't say it out loud though, even though I know it's on her mind too. So I nod, then follow them to Brayden's truck. Jordy moves aside, letting me into the backseat, then she takes the front. The whole way there, I try not to stare as her fingers play in the dark curls of his overgrown hair while he sings to country. Meanwhile, I feel like the loser in the back who can't wait for this day to be over.

At Brayden's suggestion, we end up at the Coastal Plate, this great hamburger place in the touristy part of Sunset Bay. The place is packed, as usual, but I already know what I'll get off the menu. The California burger, which has avocado, bacon, Monterey Jack cheese, and sprouts, all on a brioche bun. It reminds me of times when Nanna didn't feel like cooking and treated me to a dinner out. Nothing fancy. Despite my grandmother's wealth, she was not one to waste money on frivolous things. But she did enjoy a night off from cooking, so at least once a week, we found ourselves on the tourist strip. I've probably tried every one of the restaurants here, but Coastal Plate is my favorite, and the California burger is my go-to with a huge helping of fries I can dip in ranch.

The hostess leads us to a booth, and I sit on one side while Jordy and Brayden take the other. For a moment this feels like the kid hanging out with the parents. Me, the young single girl with no job or direction in life across from the sophisticated engaged couple, one of which is taking courses to excel in her career of choice while the other is running his own business.

Both Jordy and Brayden pick up their menus, and I do too, even though I'm already dreaming of my burger. When the waitress asks for our order, she turns to Jordy first.

"I'll have the garden salad with grilled chicken and a side of balsamic vinaigrette," she says. "Oh, and please hold the croutons. A diet soda to drink."

I bite my lip, taking in the way Jordy's collarbone shows at the top of her blouse, and how dainty her wrists are as they rest on the table. My own wrists look like they belong to a chubby toddler, and my thighs spread thick on the bench seat.

"Miss?"

I look up and the waitress is looking at me. That burger is calling out to me, but I'm suddenly overwhelmed with this feeling of not belonging, seeing Brayden's arm draped over my beautiful, thin cousin.

"I'll have the same," I say, my stomach shriveling in disappointment as I fold my menu and hand it to her.

Brayden orders the California burger with a beer to wash it down, and I nearly collapse with envy. I know I'll have a second lunch once I'm in the privacy of my own home. Then I realize there is no privacy—I have a roommate now.

"I was thinking we could resurrect the Midnight Manhattans tonight," Jordy says once the waitress leaves. "It's totally not on my diet, but don't you think sitting with Practical Magic , eating our weight in pancakes, and washing it down with Manhattans sounds like the perfect way to kick off our roommate situation?"

The last thing I want to do is hang out with Jordy. I mean, isn't this enough? But then again, pancakes. And Midnight Manhattans. The thought of both almost makes up for the sad salad I'm about to have.

Fuck the salad.

I flag down the waitress as she passes the table, and tell her to skip the salad and serve me up a California burger instead.

"I just remembered I hate salad," I say, to which Jordy laughs.

"It's not my favorite either," she admits. "But my mom can always tell when I've slipped in my diet, and I don't need the lecture. She's so concerned about how I'll look in my wedding dress, and I haven't even bought the thing. It's just easier to follow a strict diet than to hear her go on and on about what I'm doing to my body." She narrows her eyes as her grin widens. "But she doesn't need to know about Midnight Manhattans."

I nod in agreement, but also can't help wondering what Aunt Lil says about my body. I guess I can just add it to all the other things she says about me.

"So, are dudes invited to Midnight Manhattans?" Brayden asks.

"Absolutely not," Jordy says. "This is for girl witches only, any boys that come within five feet of the house might find themself as fertilizer for the garden."

"Or frog food," I add in.

"Or the victim of house crickets." Jordy claps her hands, her face lighting up. "Oh man, Nina, remember the lists we made that one time?"

My face heats up, as if she can actually read what mine said.

"What lists?" Brayden asks. She turns to him.

"We made these lists that described the perfect man, then cast a spell that night under the full moon so that one day that man would find us. Even Nanna Dot made one."

"Yeah, and look how that turned out," I say.

"Maybe she manifested that old stray cat that showed up on her doorstep. Though I think hers said something about someone who would rub her feet, and all that cat did was hiss at everyone who came close to it."

She named the cat Mr. Whiskers, and it stuck around for about a year, eating the tuna she fed it, along with chicken scraps and a bowl of milk. It never got nicer, though Nanna Dot still cooed at it like it was a baby. Then one day, it took off and never came back. I figured it curled up and died somewhere, but Nanna said it probably moved on to bless a new family. She had a strange idea of what blessing meant.

"So, was I on your list?" Brayden asks. I look up sharply, but see he's looking at Jordy—of course he's looking at her. She shrugs.

"My idea of the perfect guy back then had more to do with how popular he was or if he had a starting position on the football team."

"So, not the guy in Jazz Band or on the debate team who competed in barrel racing on the weekends. Noted," he laughs.

"Hardly." She nudges him with her shoulder, then looks to me. "What about you? Do you remember what yours said?"

I pause, my words suddenly gone. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. Finally, I shake my head no.

"Not at all," I say, finally spitting out the lie. Makes me feel safe… "But I know that every guy I've met hasn't come close to my dream guy." Another lie, since he's sitting right in front of me.

"Ugh, ain't that the truth. Well, except now, that is." Jordy grins at Brayden at the same time I look away. When I look back, I catch Brayden's eyes on me. He shifts them so quickly, I'm unsure if I saw it at all .

"What was on your list?" I ask Jordy, only because I can't help myself.

She thinks for a moment, then laughs. "I think I said the guy had to love the Twilight movies, know how to do a flip kick, and be super into Fallout Boy. Very aughts."

Brayden gives her a weird look. "Well, that sounds nothing like me. I've never watched Twilight or owned a skateboard, and…Fallout Boy?"

"It's a band," Jordy says. "Not country music." She's laughing, but I can't help that this makes me happy. Even though it's just a stupid list that means nothing.

Right?

Our food arrives, and I'm so glad I changed my order in time. Jordy's salad is small and disappointing, but she eats it as if food were no big deal and she isn't worried about dying of hunger. But me, I'm famished. I'd had a protein shake for breakfast, and it seems like that was so long ago with the way my stomach is jumping at the first scent of burger. I take the biggest bite, fully lost as the burger hits my tongue and absorbs all my senses. I wash it down with a sip of diet soda and feel somewhat human again. I realize I'm probably behaving like an animal around food, but neither of them seems to be paying attention to me. In fact, Jordy is stealing fries off Brayden's plate until he finally flags down the waitress and asks for another plate of fries.

"I can't eat that much," she complains, taking another one of his fries. He answers by taking the rest of his fries and piling them next to Jordy's salad on her plate.

"You won't have to," he says, then winks at me. Fuck if it doesn't go through me like a jolt of electricity. "They're for me since you've taken all my fries." His phone buzzes, and he looks at it before picking it up. "Hey, Ma."

"His mom is conducting interviews today on her own since Brayden was helping me," Jordy whispers as Brayden continues talking. "He didn't want her to, but she insisted because they need help like yesterday."

The plate of fries arrives about the same time Brayden hangs up the phone, and he swears under his breath.

"No good?" she asks.

"Nah. I mean, I guess I'm glad. I don't want my mom to hire anyone without me there to vet them, so this saves me the trouble. But mom is on her own until we get someone in there."

Jordy looks at me, then tilts her head. "Where do you work? That coffee shop? Is it serious?"

"Not really," I say. "I was fired two weeks ago. That day we met at Torches? I came from getting canned."

"Holy shit, Nina! Why didn't you say anything?"

I look at her, then roll my eyes. "You mean, when you still thought I stole Nanna's money? Or when I thought you were poisoning me?"

"Fair," she laughs. "But still, I wish I'd known. I'm so sorry."

I shrug. "It's not like I needed the job. I just…" I sigh. "I liked it, I mean, not the work. But it got me out of the house, gave me a purpose, put me around people. I know it doesn't seem like it, but I actually like being around people. So the past two weeks have felt kind of like hell."

Jordy studies me for a moment, then she nods slowly. "Bray, I think I know the perfect person for you," she says, and I feel my stomach plummet. "This person has hospitality experience, and I happen to know she's super experienced around horses."

Oh no. Please don't.

"Who?" Brayden snatches his plate of fries out of Jordy's reach as she seeks to replenish her empty plate.

"Nina," she grins, turning to me .

"Jordy is messing around," I say. I push my fries toward her, and she happily grabs a handful.

"I am not," she says. "You're highly qualified for what they're looking for. Tell her, Brayden."

"Well, I don't know what Nina is capable of," he says, but his expression makes it seem like he's open to the idea. "But I can tell you about the job."

Then he describes the position. Basically, it's a house manager position, though his mom would be the direct supervisor. The position includes prepping and making meals, kitchen cleanup, and cabin housekeeping, plus filling in on the outdoor ranch jobs like mucking barns and brushing horses. Basically, it sounds completely perfect. I might not be much of a housecleaner in my own home, but the thought of doing it in someone else's home sounds appealing. Plus I'd get to meet different people from all over the world, as Brayden explains.

But most of all, I'd get to be around Brayden every day.

This should be the downfall. This should be why I say I can't do it. Instead, I find myself sharing every reason why I'm qualified for the job, from my experience with horses way back when to the work I did at the coffee shop.

"But you don't need to hire me," I force myself to say. "I'm not desperate for a job, and I know how important it is for you to find the right person."

"Brayden would never hire someone out of obligation," Jordy says. "The guy is picky to a fault, especially when it comes to ranch hires."

He shrugs, confirming that it's the truth. "Want to come out to the ranch tomorrow?" he asks. "You can meet my mom and get a feel of the work involved, and then we can chat if this is a good fit."

"Sounds good," I say, but inside I'm doing backflips. It doesn't help that Jordy catches my eye and grins wide. You're hired, she mouths, and I do my best to smother my grin.