Chapter Three

Charlie nudges my hand,then trots over to sit in front of the door. I"m wiped after actually trying to participate in one of Hidden Agenda"s workout sessions, but the German Shepherd spent all afternoon lazing about in his dog bed at the warehouse. He"s got energy to burn.

"I know, I know. Too much working and too little walking."

When he first came home with me from Safe Haven Animal Shelter, we"d spend hours outside. Walking down to Green Lake, sitting for a while, walking some more. Five, seven miles in a day wasn"t unusual. Walls—even here in the sanctuary I"ve found with Cara—were my enemy. The only way I could spend any time inside was to spend as much time as possible outside.

And Charlie loved it. But the past few months...they"ve been hard. Hope"s kidnapping, Raelynn and Nash squaring off with the Chicago mob, a couple of tricky KR cases I handled because Wren just can"t work eighteen-hour days as pregnant as she is...

I push to my feet, sway, and brace myself against the arm of the couch. Six fucking years as Faruk"s punching bag, and the lingering effects of too many traumatic brain injuries still leave me unsteady if I get up too quickly or push myself too hard.Ry keeps telling me to see a neurologist, but what the fuck are they going to do? Run a shit-ton of tests and tell me to live with it? No, thank you.

Charlie whines and presses himself to my legs. "I"m okay, buddy. Just need a second." He stares up at me, his head cocked. With one of his ears half mangled, he looks perpetually curious, like he"s always trying to figure out what I might need next, or what I want him to do.

But he doesn"t need to figure it out. He just knows. Has since the first time I met him. "Come on. Let"s get your leash."

He practically prances back to the door. I pat my pockets, making sure I have my cell phone. Cara had to run to the restaurant to prep for tomorrow's breakfast rush, and I haven't seen her since I left for the warehouse more than six hours ago. I wish I could feel her arms around me right now.

You could walk up to the restaurant and see her.

She"d understand. But after two years, I should be...better. One hard workout shouldn"t leave me feeling so...off balance. But it does. Or maybe it"s the conversation Ry had with all of us before we called it a day. The one about what"s going to happen now that Ry and Wren can't drop everything on a moment's notice to work a job.

We"d put off that "talk" for too long already. I knew it was coming—even knew what was coming—but I still wasn't ready. My hands shake at the thought of going on mission without Ry.

At my side, Charlie whines and nudges my hip. How long have I been standing here, lost in my own thoughts? Too long. I clip the leash to his collar and run my fingers through the fur on the back of his neck. "I've got two miles in me, buddy. Let's burn off some of that energy."

The hall is completely silent. There are only three units on this floor. Graham and Q are on our left, Wyatt and Hope on our right. Ry bought this building not long after he pulled me out of that fucking well in Afghanistan and retrofitted it with the best security money can buy. We're safe here. While the first four levels are home to a few local businesses and live-work units, Wren vets every single tenant. And no one gets past the fifth floor without a keycard, palm print, voice code, and retinal scan.

The elevator doors snick shut, trapping me and Charlie inside. For over a year, I took the stairs every damn time. But normal people don"t walk down—and up—six flights every time their dog needs to take a piss.

My palms are damp by the time I escape into the building lobby. But Charlie"s so excited to see the street, I can almost forget how my heart pounded against my ribs the whole ride down.

The air holds the promise of summer, though it"s only the end of April. Charlie sniffs every tree, and I keep watch for threats—despite this being a safe neighborhood. The condo isn"t in my name. The one I was born with or the fake one I adopted when Ry and Dax rescued me.Rick Mercury has a P.O. Box downtown, but that's it. Otherwise, he's just as much of a ghost as Jackson Richards.

Charlie does his business, looks up at me, and then tugs gently on his leash. "Ready to put a mile or two on those paws?"

He yips, and I give him a nod. "Lead the way, buddy."

An hour later, my legs are ready to give out, but he"s loving life so much, I hate to disappoint him. But if I don't get off my feet soon, I'll be in a world of hurt. "Time to turn around." He whines, clearly disappointed in me. That"s the only explanation for his good ear flattening against his head and the sorrowful look in his eyes.

I drop down to one knee and ruffle his fur. "You"re right. I spend too much time at the warehouse and not enough time walking. We"ll find a better balance soon. Okay?"

He agrees with me. At least that"s what I hope his happy bark means. We"re two miles from the condo, and it takes me several minutes to convince him we"re going home. Eventually, I bribe him with the promise of treats. Cara always tells him he"s "the best dog ever" before she gives him one, and as soon as I say those words, he"s practically trotting toward home.

* * *

When I codemyself back into the condo, I find Cara curled up on the couch, her eyes closed. Charlie bounds over to her and noses her hand.

"Hey, buddy," she says as she stretches her arms over her head. "Guess I need to get up now, huh?"

"Stay there, sunshine." I shuffle over to the treat jar and toss him a biscuit. "Good boy. We'll get more exercise tomorrow."

"How far did you go?" Cara asks. She sits up, stifling a yawn. "It's almost dark."

"Four miles. Give or take." My left knee cracks as I sink down next to her. "West is a fucking sadist."

Cara's laugh eases all my aches and pains. "You said you were going to take it easy."

"I had to know…"

"Know what?" She snuggles closer to me, draping her legs over my thighs.

"If I could still do it." I twine my fingers with hers. "Ry had the talk with everyone today. He's handing Hidden Agenda over to West. At least operationally."

"That wasn't a surprise, though," she says, stroking her thumb over mine. "He won't want to leave Wren and the baby."

"No. And he shouldn't. It's not just that, though. He's looking to expand. Have teams all around the world. But that takes time. A lot of it. Until he can recruit—and vet—all new people…"

My chest tightens, and the walls start to close in on me. It's dark outside the floor-to-ceiling windows. So very dark.

Cara slides her hand up to the back of my neck. "Jackson, you're safe. At home. With me."

Fuck. She calms me like no one else can. Makes me feel safe when nothing else in my life makes sense. I rest my forehead against hers and let myself feel. Getting through is the only way to escape the memories threatening to pull me under.

"What if they need me to go on mission again?" I whisper. "I was lucky when we had to rescue Hope. But that was mostly Ry's doing. Next time, I might not be able to stay in the van."

Cara pulls back enough to hold my gaze. "Then you'll get out of the van. And you'll protect your brothers and sisters—and whoever you're there to rescue—because that's who you are."