Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

Law

We drove a few blocks in tense silence before I pulled into a shopping center. After maneuvering into a parking space, I killed the engine. Shepperd scanned the storefronts then looked over at me with confusion.

I just held her gaze for a few beats then scooped her small hands into mine. “How are you doing?”

She relaxed by a degree or two. “A lot better now. I don’t know if I should thank you or apologize to you first. Though I did tell you I would’ve done that alone.”

I sat quietly at first and then very calmly said, “I’m not sure how long it’s going to take for you to understand this, but lucky for you I’m a very patient man. You don’t have to do the hard stuff alone anymore, Shepperd. I want to be there for you. Help you. Hold you when things are shitty, celebrate with you when things are great.”

She stared at me until a slow grin spread across her lips. “What on earth have I done?” she muttered while shaking her head back and forth.

“What?” I asked.

“What have I done to deserve you? I’m so scared I’m going to fuck this up. That or you’re going to come to your senses and run away terrified.”

“After you meet my family, this will make more sense, but believe me when I say that was nothing.”

She raised a brow with doubt.

“Seriously. My father is a formidable man. He makes other grown men cry on a weekly basis. Your dad’s game is child’s play comparatively, darling.”

She chuckled at my word choice. “I don’t know whether that’s a good thing or bad thing.”

“Well, it depends on what side of the conversation you’re on at any given moment. He spares no one when he thinks he’s right. He’s put me in my place enough times so I know not to challenge him. And he doesn’t care who’s around to bear witness.”

“Why do parents always think they know what’s best for you?” she asked, but I wasn’t sure if she really wanted an answer or was just thinking out loud.

So I took a chance and offered my opinion. “For my parents, I can honestly say I think they act the way they do—do the things they do—believing it’s in our best interest. Whether to teach us a lesson or stop us from making what they perceive to be a mistake, I really think they come from a good place.”

I thought about those words for a few seconds and added, “That doesn’t mean it’s always what I want to hear. Or in my dad’s case, the delivery couldn’t use some polishing.”

“Yeah, that must be a dad thing,” she said wistfully. We were both lost in our thoughts, probably each about our own relationships with our parents.

I loved my family. They’d given me a very comfortable life and every opportunity to succeed as an adult. Sure, there will always be things we’d like to change about those closest to us, but in the end, I was grateful to have the parents I had.

“Ready to head home?” I asked. The biggest grin spread over my lips, and when I looked at Shepperd, she was smiling too.

She took my breath away. I didn’t get to enjoy her genuine smile as often as I would like, but my God, when the woman smiled and truly meant the feelings behind it, she lit up the entire room.

“You are so beautiful,” I murmured and closed the space between our bucket seats. I kissed her slowly at first, always careful not to spook her. I followed her cues, though, and the kiss became passionate and hot. Abruptly I pulled away and stared at her. Her eyes were shiny new nickels, and I struggled to get enough oxygen.

“Why did you stop?” she whimpered and gently touched her bottom lip right where I had sunk my teeth moments before.

“Because I don’t want to fuck you in my car, and if that went any further, that’s exactly what would’ve happened.” I started the engine and backed out of the parking spot before looking at Shep.

Our eyes met briefly as I put the car in gear.

“Danger,” she muttered and shook her head slowly.

“Darling, you don’t even know.”

“But I really want to find out, Law.”

That was all I needed to hear. When we got to my place…well, our place now…I was leading her directly to bed. I needed to be inside this woman more than anything.

I don’t know how we got home, I was in such a lust haze from that kiss and thoughts of fucking her. If someone had me draw a map of the route I took to get back home, I’d be lost. She had me that ramped up. I probably couldn’t have spelled my last name if someone had asked me to.

“You’ve gotten quiet,” she said into the thick air.

“Lost in thoughts.”

“Yeah? About what?” she asked innocently, and I wondered if I should censor myself here or be open about how long I’ve been wanting to claim her.

“Truth?”

“Always. We promised, remember?”

“Oh, I remember. I’m just not sure if this is in the category of TMI or not.”

“I’m pretty tough to shock,” she boasted. “Let’s hear it.”

“All I can think about is fucking you. I’ve been daydreaming and wet dreaming about it since the first day I laid eyes on you.”

“Oh, my. See why I call you Danger?”

“I don’t want to scare you. You wanted the truth.” I shrugged, making no apologies. “And if you’re not ready, I can wait. I may need another cold shower, but I’ll wait.”

There . That should make up for any part of that truth spill that sounded boorish.

“No, that’s not it,” she rasped and slid her tiny hand up my thigh while I drove. “You’re dangerous because I want the same thing. If we’re both feeling a bit desperate, who will keep the sensible head?”

My voice dropped at least one octave when I admitted, “I don’t care much about sensibility right now, Miss Farsay.”

When traffic permitted, I snuck a glance in her direction. She still had giant, curious eyes on me, so I gave her a little wink.

“Can I ask you something?” I prayed I wasn’t about to destroy the mood brewing between us. No matter how nervous I was about that happening, this conversation needed to be had.

“Yes, of course. Open book right here,” she answered, pointing back toward her sternum.

“I want to be careful not to have a repeat of that first night you were over.” After she gave a quick nod, I continued. “If you have known triggers, can we talk about them now rather than after I hit one?”

Shepperd didn’t answer right away and seemed more interested in looking out her window than having this discussion.

Shit. Did I blow my chance with her now?

While still gazing at the passing scenery, she finally began talking. “I’m so embarrassed that happened,” she said quietly, and this time I was the one to reach across and put my hand on her thigh.

“Don’t be. Please. But I don’t want to have a repeat of that scene, because I felt awful for days. I want our intimate time to be amazing and fun.”

“Amazing, huh?” she teased with a grin.

I screwed up my face as if she were insane. “Hell yes, amazing.”

“Okay.” She nodded. “I’m about due for some amazing in my life.”

“Soooo?” I drew out the transition. “Triggers?”

“Ummm, well…I seem to freak out when someone tries to pin me down. That’s what happened that first time. I know certain smells do it too, but I doubt I will encounter those in your bedroom, you know? Gasoline, motor oil, decaying-grass clippings.” She still hadn’t turned to face me, and I figured it was easier for her to have this talk without direct eye contact.

So I nodded, more interested in listening and learning about her than adding my own comments. Of course I wanted details. That was the way my brain worked. Of course I wanted to find the monster who molested a little girl and tear his dick off and stuff it down his throat. But those were thoughts to keep to myself right now. I was smart enough to know that, at least.

She shrugged like this was just another everyday conversation. You know, how was your day? Crazy weather we’re having, right? What triggers do you have from being sexually abused? Yep! Just another ho-hum conversation between friends.

“I’m not sure I like the way you’re looking at me right now,” she said after studying me for a few seconds.

“I’m sorry, baby. Really, I am. I’m just marveling at how strong and resilient you are.”

She burst out with a laugh. “Oh, I’m the furthest from either of those things, Law.”

“I don’t think you give yourself enough credit. That’s what I see when I look at you. I’m not sure what my expression was that made you uncomfortable, but that’s really what I was thinking.”

She reached over and cupped my cheek as I turned onto my street. “You’re an incredible man,” she said quietly. “I’m not sure how I got so lucky, but I’m going to do everything I can not to fuck this up.”

I swung my car into the driveway and put the car in park. We both inhaled loudly and looked at each other. The anticipation was back between us, and my heartbeat became a jackhammer in my chest. I couldn’t remember the last time a woman made me feel that way.

“Let’s go inside,” I said and gave her a quick peck. “We have the rest of the night, and I want to take my time.”

She sucked in another breath, and I smiled. She was right where I wanted her mentally—here with me, in the present. I would do everything in my power to erase all the bad memories she had. By the time I was finished loving this girl, she wouldn’t be able to remember a time she wasn’t mine.

In the low light of my bedroom, I lifted her shirt over her head and let it drop from my fingers to the floor. I knew she had a slight build from watching her so often at the gym, but seeing her without clothes was a different experience.

I didn’t mind thin girls. In fact, I preferred it. But Shepperd was on the dangerous side of too thin, and I filed the impression away in the recesses of my mind to address it with her when the time was right.

This was not that time. Right now, I stood before the incredible creature and carefully studied her reactions. Breaths were even if a bit shallow. If she wasn’t truly calm, she was forcing herself to appear that way.

Even after I promised, “Baby, I’m going to make you feel so good,” while snaking my arms behind her to release the clasp of her lacy bra, she held my gaze with attentive eyes. I slid the light blue straps down her arms with sure fingers and let the sexy little thing fall to the ground between our feet.

“My God,” I whispered into her ear while kissing and licking her there. “You are stunning, Shepperd.”

“Thank you,” she said between the little mewls and sighs she treated me with. “That feels so good.”

“Tell me what you like,” I growled. My blood was thrumming in my veins, and my dick was harder than it had ever been.

I just wanted to worship her. I wanted to show her how amazing I would make her feel every time we were together. From a very young age, I became fascinated by women’s bodies. Not that I sexualized every female I saw, but I admired the differences between the way men and women were built. The way a woman’s waist nipped in on the sides and created that alluring hourglass silhouette. Or the way a woman’s neck was long and graceful compared to a man’s muscular, thick one that was designed to carry heavy burdens.

She put a little space between our bodies, but I didn’t approve of that. At all. I gripped her waist in both hands and pulled her right back against my body.

“Where do you think you’re going?” I teased before planting a long, deep kiss on her mouth.

The way this woman kissed was driving me crazy. First, she teased a little with her lips on mine, the top and then the bottom, before she plunged into the experience with so much passion it felt like our lips would fuse.

“I was trying to see your face better. I couldn’t tell if you were serious or just saying sexy things.” Her voice had become low and husky and, if possible, even sexier than it normally was.

“Christ, even your voice is sexy.” I gave her a playfully menacing look. “You’re going to be the death of me.”

“Well, that wouldn’t be much fun, would it?” she replied, and we both smiled. “Especially before I get some of this.” She reached for the obvious erection pressing on the fabric of my pants, but I intercepted her dainty hand before she made contact.

“No. Not yet,” I directed and quickly reminded myself to dial it back a little. I maneuvered her to my bed and instructed, “Lie back, baby. I want you completely naked.” I gently pushed her by the shoulders after she sat on the edge of the mattress, then crawled over her and took a few seconds to admire her beauty again. I shook my head a little trying hard to figure out what it was about this woman that had me so tied up in knots.

Throughout the years, I’d had plenty of women in my bed. Maybe by some standards, more than my fair share. But I never felt this all-consuming need to possess a woman like the way I was feeling in that moment. Something about this blond bombshell laid out before me was doing things I couldn’t make sense of.

Keeping my head on straight and playing it cool became my biggest challenge. I continually reminded myself to go slow to not freak her out. Once we had more time as a couple beneath our belts, I would talk to her about the side of me that was more dominant than I had been letting her see. I knew a lot of trauma survivors responded well to particular aspects of the BDSM lifestyle, so it could turn out to fit very well in our relationship.

Relationship …

Crazy to think that’s what we were building here. This was our very first night together, and it had to be perfect. I was so out of my element with this. I kept getting lost in my own thoughts. I didn’t typically entertain doubt while fucking a woman, but the stakes had never been this high. I really wanted this to work out.

“Law?” Shepperd’s voice brought me back to the here and now. “You okay?”

“Yeah, baby.” I nodded. “I’m so good I’m having trouble wrapping my head around it.”

Shepperd made the cutest gesture by lifting her arms to me, inviting me closer to her on the bed.

So, with a satisfied smile on my face, I covered her body with my own. I was careful not to crush her beneath my much larger frame and studied her expression.

“Is this okay?” I asked while kissing along her neck.

“Mmm, yes. More than okay.” She put her hands on my shoulders and pushed me back a fraction of an inch. “You’re not going to set me off, Law. I’m here. I’m present. I promise.” She gave me that shy smile that melted my heart and made my stomach flip at the same time. My smile matched hers before I pressed my lips to hers once more.

“Tonight we’ll go nice and slow. Get to know each other’s do’s and don’ts,” I explained while kissing a path toward her breasts.

She arched into my affection, and I latched on to her dusty pink nipple. The stiff bud felt so perfect in my mouth, I had to pause and suck—and then suck harder. She moaned a low, throaty sound so I did it again. I used my tongue to draw a slick path from her nipple to the sensitive underside of her breast.

Her vocal approval gave me the green light to continue my exploration. Her tits weren’t big, but they were surprisingly ample for how thin her frame was. If she were older, I might have suspected she had implants, but based on the feel of her flesh when I kneaded and squeezed her mounds, she was as real as they came.

“Ohhh,” she sighed as I moved down her body.

“Feel good, baby?”

“So good,” she whispered. “I suspect you don’t really need my praise to know that, though.”

That was the first slightly insecure comment she’d made, so I locked eyes with her from where I was licking and nibbling the skin on her flat belly. Instead of getting defensive from my stern look, she melted me with a little smile, so I went back to enjoying my mission.

Her pants had to go. Immediately. I felt possessed by the need to see her completely bare. I sat back on my heels and unfastened the button and zipper at her waist. Using my flat palms, I spread the fabric open on each side, exposing delicate light-blue panties that matched the bra she had been wearing. I might have actually whimpered when I discovered they were my favorite thong style.

“You’re so fucking sexy, girl. I’m going insane here.” I had to palm my cock through my pants to gain some sort of control. I felt like a high school boy, I was so excited. Like this would be the first pussy I’d ever touched or tasted.

Peeling the lacy material down her thighs, I imagined all the ways I’d like to bind her with the lingerie. I knew we had to work up to that, though, so I pushed the idea to the back of my mind for now. The differences between the way I handled this girl versus the normal dirty fucks I’d enjoyed in the very same bed were startling and, strangely, not at all disappointing. I felt compelled to burn the damn mattress I’d had other partners on and have a new one brought in just for her.

The panties were tossed to the floor with the bra and pants. I took a moment to appreciate her from head to toe. Shepperd’s long blond hair fanned out behind her head on the pillow. I instantly thought of old religious paintings where the artist depicted a person’s holiness with a glowing yellow circle behind their head. I could picture the stained-glass windows in my childhood church that were all done that way. This girl could easily be an angel or saint. Something so pure and good, and so incredibly beautiful.

“Spread your legs for me.” My voice sounded more like a growl, and she did what I’d asked. I inhaled the air and prayed I’d catch her scent. Yes, I was one of those men who loved that womanly scent. Nothing came close to matching it, and my cock somehow grew thicker knowing that soon I’d have her deliciousness all over my lips and tongue.

I ran my hands from her knees up to her pussy and framed the treasure between my thumbs and index fingers, and added a few more strokes in the same manner while I appreciated how silky and smooth she was. Her fair skin glowed in the dim light like a pale moon in an overcast night sky.

“You’re so damn beautiful, lady. I can’t stop looking at you.” I shook my head, wondering how I got so lucky to have this woman here with me. The thoughts had my heart thumping in an unfamiliar way and a lump building in my throat.

True emotion, I decided. Not just lust or physical attraction. I genuinely cared about Shepperd, and it fortified my need to show her how good I could make her feel. When I ran my palms up her legs one more time, she let out a frustrated whimper when I reached the junction of her thighs.

“What is it, baby?” I asked, knowing damn well what the answer would be.

“You’re driving me crazy with the teasing,” she whispered into the barely lit room.

“Tell me what you want.”

“Touch me. Please, just do it already.”

“I don’t want to rush this,” I confessed.

She relaxed deeper into the bedding while I exhaled. The more comfortable she was with me touching her, the less likely she would be to freak out. Or at least that seemed like the way it should go. I reminded myself to keep the slow pace regardless.

Finally, I positioned myself between her spread legs and licked a path toward her pussy. I wanted it more than air. Shepperd widened her legs, and my cock swelled beneath me.

I ground my hips into the mattress for some relief. At this rate, I’d last two minutes inside her. I’d been anticipating this moment for so long, but the reality was beyond anything I’d imagined.

Her silky skin smelled like a day at the beach. Coconut and sea breeze filled my nose with an alluring scent as I nuzzled my way to the treasure between her legs. Once there, I took my time exploring her body with my fingers and tongue until she was moaning into the still room. Her feminine musk was deep in my senses, and I kept the pace until she exploded beneath my ministrations.

“Fuck yes. Come for me, baby,” I coaxed as the first tremors of her orgasm tensed her muscles. I lapped at her folds and drug out the pleasure until she squeezed her slender thighs against my face, urging me to back off.

“You taste so good, I don’t want to stop.”

She gasped. “So…sensitive,” she said between quakes of her legs and stomach. “Jesus Christ, Law.”

My male pride swelled along with my dick. Nothing in the world was better than giving a woman pleasure that way. I’d spent years figuring out the secret little ways most women reached climax, and my attention to detail paid off once again. Though I had to admit—to myself at least—that this particular woman was nothing like any other I’d known.

A strange thought kept pushing its way to the forefront of my mind. The intensity of the feelings I was experiencing should alarm me. Yet I couldn’t wipe the smile from my face. Something about her here with me felt just—right. Perfect, really. So again, I pushed the worry away and stayed in the moment. I wanted to absorb it all. Catalog every detail and tuck them all away for safekeeping. I didn’t want to share any part of her with anyone else, and that ownership vibe should’ve scared me too.

But instead, I just wanted to claim her completely and make sure she never wanted to leave.

Ever.