32. Gabby

Chapter 32

Gabby

I feel like I'm going to fall over at any moment. I'm dead on my feet. The service might have been short, but the dinner after was not. There were lots of memories about my brother shared, a lot of laughter and tears—not to mention alcohol.

It also explains why I've been tasked with escorting the visiting clubs to where their rooms are. It was supposed to be Carlos's job. Unfortunately, my baby brother got way too drunk with BB and a few of the other club members. He asked me to take over, and I agreed. I didn't really mind. Dad is avoiding me. Mom's not, but I'm not getting too close to her. I figure the least I can do for my father is to stay out of his way. Besides, it's too painful to see the pain and anger in his gaze when he looks at me.

I'm kicking around the idea of getting a hotel room for the night. I doubt very seriously my parents will notice if I come home or not. All they manage to do right now is cry. When they're not crying, they're just silent. I'm really not sure which is worse. Although, when they are silent, my father will look at me and it's crystal clear that he definitely blames me for my brother dying. I understand. I'm blaming myself, too. Thankfully, I haven't seen the same look on my mother's face, but I know that doesn't mean she doesn't agree with him. I figure she does. Thankfully, she isn't making me feel like she doesn't want me around. I don't think I could take that right now. It's hard enough dealing with it from my papi.

I know I deserve all of it. I've been trying to own up to my mistakes, not that I'm advertising that fact to my parents. Besides, I'm not doing it to show them I can be better, or to get them to forgive me. I know there's no way that's happening. I can't even forgive myself. No, this is a personal thing.

Earlier, I've managed to apologize to T with Lyla standing beside him. It was really awkward—which I expected. I made sure they both knew that I wasn't looking for forgiveness. I was honest and told them I know I didn't deserve it. I just wanted Thomas to know he was a great guy and I'm sorry for ever hurting him and his family. I even approached Thea and apologized and asked after Breaker. That one might have been even more awkward than my conversation with T and Lyla. Dom wasn't there, and I purposely waited until Thea was alone. I'm just not ready to face Dom right now. What I did to him was so horrible that I'm not sure I have the right to ever approach him. Honestly, I may just chicken out and mail him a letter. I'm just not that brave.

"You guys can follow me," I murmur, trying to lock away all thoughts of the people I've done wrong. I smile at Ford and King, before quickly looking down. I can feel King's gaze on me, but I ignore it as I walk to the room I designated for Ford. Opening it, I stand back. "This one is yours, Ford. There are clean towels and soap in the bath. If you need anything, just let someone know."

"You got it. Thanks, blondie." He salutes King, making him laugh. Then he goes in. "I'll see you in the morning, brother," he mumbles, and it's pretty clear that he's had more than his fair share of alcohol.

"See ya," King laughs as his president closes the door.

"I put you in the room at the end of the hall," I murmur to King, feeling self-conscious around him. I open it for him to go inside.

"This room looks a little nicer than the others, Wildcat," he murmurs, looking around.

"It is. It's mine," she laughs. "It has the biggest shower. I figured as big as you are, you could use it."

"This is your room?"

"Yeah. I never use it that often, but when I stay here, it is."

"Where are you sleeping tonight?" he asks, watching me closely.

"I've been staying with my Aunt Katie and Uncle Torch. It has just been easier," I tell him. I don't confess that I'm leaning toward staying in a hotel tonight. He'd try to give up his room and I don't want that. I can't do anything to repay him for saving me, but I wanted to try to do something nice for him.

"Do you want to come in and talk for a little bit?" King asks.

I look around and shrug. "Sure, I guess."

I know I should say no, but King is one of the few people I feel comfortable around. I don't have to pretend I'm not dying inside, or that everything is fine. He knows. Besides that, he knows my history with Dom and T. For whatever reason he doesn't judge me for it, and I'm grateful.

King lays down on the bed and pats the place beside him. I feel a little uncomfortable. It's a large room with a king-size bed, a chest across from the bed, and a large television hanging on the wall. The walls are painted a deep blue. I chose the color because it's one of my favorites, plus it's calming. I think dark colors in your bedroom help you sleep easier.

We lay down on the bed and I smile as King kicks his boots off. My grin deepens as the sound of them hitting the floor echoes around the room. "Your turn," he instructs with a smirk.

I use my toes to kick off my heels. They make a much quieter sound when hitting the floor. We lay there in comfortable silence for a bit before King turns to his side to look at me. "How have you been doing since coming home?" he asks.

I don't really want to answer him, but I get the feeling he's genuinely interested. It almost feels like he's a friend. Since I don't really have any of those, I decide to answer honestly.

"Okay. I'm trying to give my father a lot of room. He's struggling," I tell him, lying slightly. I don't figure he needs to know that my father blames me for my brother's death.

"So are you, Wildcat."

"I am, but I don't need to add to their pain. I even decided to lie to them about what happened to me. It didn't feel right to burden them with the fact I was raped by two men with an unconscious Nicole close by. It just seemed like something they didn't need to know."

"Christ, both of them?"

"Technically, Lucky was the only one inside of me. The other guy forced his way into my mouth. I tried to bite him, but he said if I did, he'd knock my teeth out and I knew he meant it. He kept promising he was going to get more once we got to the clubhouse. Lucky promised him he could have me when the time was right."

"Damn it, Wildcat."

"I was weak. I should have bitten his dick off. I tried to fight Lucky off. I really did. He got off on hurting me, though. He had a knife. I was terrified. Then, he started choking me and the more I fought him, the tighter his hands got. I was afraid …"

King surprises me by pulling me into his arms. I lay my head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat. It somehow keeps me calm. "I wish I could revive the fuckers just so I could kill them all over again," he growls, his big hand rubbing up and down my back.

I laugh in response. I didn't plan on telling him all of that. I'm not even sure why I did. I don't feel shame with King, though. He doesn't judge me, and it feels really refreshing. "Thanks for the sentiment, King, but I'm content knowing they aren't breathing the same air as I am."

King grunts. "If you say so."

I let out a sad breath. "I guess that wasn't a good thing to say."

"Huh?"

"Admitting that I am happy they aren't breathing. Karma already hates me enough. I shouldn't add to the black marks on my soul since she's against me already."

"Karma?" he asks, sounding confused.

"Yeah. I played Thomas to get more attention from Dom. I tried to lie to Dom by claiming I was pregnant, so he wouldn't leave Thea. I tried to get pregnant so he wouldn't find out my lie. Some days, thinking back, I wonder if I had a psychotic break," I grumble, pulling away from King to lie back on the bed. Now that I've admitted everything to him, he'll probably take off running. I think I'm trying to run him off. My brain is a mess. "There's probably more I've done, you know. I mean, besides being an all-around spoiled bitch, but I can't really remember it all. I think my mind has blotted it out to protect me. There's only so much self-hate a girl can endure."

King surprises me by laughing. "Well, if it makes a difference, I think you're pretty damn cool. It takes balls to stab a man like Lucky, get hit, and come back at him."

"It does?"

"Damn straight it does. That's why I've started calling you Wildcat. It's impressive."

"I figured you named me Wildcat because you had already forgotten my name," I giggle.

"Nope, it's Gabby, right?"

"Yeah, but I'd prefer you call me Gabriella. Only people who dislike me lately call me Gabby."

I don't tell him that my father has begun calling me Gabby now—along with a few others in my family. Thankfully, my diarrhea of the mouth seems to have stopped. My relief is short-lived, however, with King's next words.

"Would that include your father?"

I sigh. "Yeah."

"What makes you think he hates you?"

"I heard him. He told Dragon. He blames me for being in London that day and getting kidnapped. If I hadn't been kidnapped, then Diego wouldn't have been in North Carolina to begin with, and he's right.

"Wildcat. There's a good chance he would have?—"

I stop him by shaking my head. "Please don't King. I know I'm a loser, but I don't think I could take it if you pity me, too."

"I don't pity you. I understand. There's a difference. If it makes you feel better, I'm kind of a loser at life, too."

"Yeah, right. I highly doubt that."

"I'm serious. Did you know I was married?"

"Shit, you are? I need to get out of here."

"No, you don't."

"I do! I know we're just friends and it's nothing like that, but your wife might not understand. I've caused enough issues. I'm not about to repeat my mistakes, King."

"Calm down, Wildcat. I just got my divorce papers before I headed down here. It has to be the quickest divorce on record."

"What happened?"

"We haven't been together long, but I thought we were solid. Then, slowly, she began having trouble with me being a member of the club."

"That's weird. She had to know you belonged to the club first, right?"

"Yeah, she had a problem with the way I had to deal with a club traitor, and it blossomed from that."

"Well, there's only way to deal with a club traitor, King. Everyone knows that."

"Spoken like a true biker princess," he laughs. "Would you feel the same if I told you the traitor was a woman?"

"King, women are conniving bitches. Trust me, I used to be one," I huff, and he laughs. "I like you, Wildcat."

"I like you, too. At least you treat me as if I'm normal. That means more than I could tell you. Now, about your ex-wife."

"Yeah. I thought we were working our shit out, but boy, was I wrong. Turns out she was shacking up with a cop and is pregnant."

"Yikes."

"You know what hurts more than anything else?"

"What?"

"The fact Shelby didn't even want to have kids with me."

"Shit, I'm sorry. I know sorry is a lame response, but there's not much you can say when life gut punches a friend. Nothing will make it feel better. I can tell you that one day she will regret it, because you're a wonderful guy and any woman would be happy to have you as her man."

"Does that include you?" he jokes.

I slap at him playfully. "Get over yourself. You know how hot you are. You don't need me stroking your ego."

"Just because someone might look good without clothes doesn't mean they're a good person, Wildcat."

"True enough, but you forget, I know the man who faced death to rescue two women who really meant nothing to him."

"Gabriella—"

"I know you're good, inside and out."

King studies me and then brings his face down, pressing his lips to mine. I gasp in shock and his tongue slides in. I freeze at first, then close my eyes, and give in to the urge to return the kiss. Deep inside, I'm hoping his kiss can stave off the nightmares I have had every night since my rape.