Chapter 30

CHAPTER THIRTY

Helena

I was fumbling with the cannula in my nose, trying to make sense of the antiseptic smell, the IV, when everything started to make sense. Letting myself have a moment against the crinkly hospital mattress, I opened my eyes. Maddox, my rock, had squeezed himself into one of those uncomfortable chairs that they put in hospital rooms to encourage people not to stay too long. He had ignored the discomfort and the sleepless nights, all for me. Instead, he'd wedged it into a corner to have space for both shoulders to brace against the walls as they kept him in place while he slept.

It felt like I'd been run over by a bus—not that I'd ever been run over by a bus, but this was how I imagined it: flattened and battered like that toad in the story that Pike had told me. Somehow, I made some slight noise because Maddox's eyes opened and locked with mine.

"Princess." He pulled his chair close to my bedside, carefully touching mine with the slightest caress at my wrist like he was afraid I'd break. "I'm so sorry." Maddox looked like he had lived five more years since I'd seen him last. Tired lines bracketed his bloodshot eyes. I wasn't sure how they found me, but I was so grateful.

"I'm okay, Maddox. Everything is okay. I'm sorry," I said honestly. "This was my fault. I'm that dumb person in the book who gets murdered in the horror movie. I should have known better." I'd thought this through while I was in that crappy room. I wanted him to hear me in this. "You're not responsible for my choices. Going to work while we knew people could still be after me wasn't smart. Dimitri warned me. He asked me to come back to the Open Road. I didn't listen."

"No, baby. Nothing was your fault. I should have thought ahead and ensured you had better protection," he sighed, his shoulders slumping.

"Don't do that. Don't blame yourself for this." I wouldn't let him take that on and beat himself up over that. "If you aren't going to let me take the blame, then you can't take the blame either. We'll accept this as Sergei's fault for being a dick." I swallowed hard and tried not to cry. "Okay. Let's agree on that. This was him."

He traced the outline of my eyes, smoothing a finger lightly over each eyebrow. "My sunshine. I couldn't have lived without you. Alright. We can agree we can't control the world. Sergei is a dick. I can agree on that." He bent and butterfly kissed each eyelid.

"Good enough for now." I could live with that for now. "Well, can you fill in the gaps? How'd you guys manage to find me?"

He pulled a hand over his beard, tugging it like he did when he was thinking. "Daisy called from the Duck. She'd gone out to look for you after a while," he frowned. She and Vito were able to give a pretty good description of the men at the table, so we were pretty confident that it could be Makarovich or Sergei who had grabbed you since there was blood outside."

"Yeah, that one guy smashed me in the head when I was just eating my BLT in peace. It was a good one, too," I said wistfully.

Maddox didn't seem interested in continuing the story, but I prodded. "And then?"

"Well, I told you we had an in with Bratva?"

"Yeah." I didn't go into my side of the story yet. If I started, then I would never get Maddox to finish telling me how they found me, and I desperately needed a distraction from the dull pain that I was feeling and the memories of being powerless under the onslaught of Sergei's fists and boots. That wasn't something I wanted to relive.

"Dimitri is Dimitri Volkov, brother to the pakhan," he said sheepishly. "He hadn't wanted anyone to know, but we needed his brother's help with this business with Makarovich. He's been on vacation from the Bratva, he claims," Maddox smiled.

"What? That seems like a pretty big deal. Do they let you take a vacation from the Bratva? What has he been doing with the Brotherhood then?" I asked, stumped. This was weird, right?

"That's his story to tell, princess, but his brother is helping to locate Makarovich and shut down the auction sites. Then, when you hinted to Sergei that the Volkov pakhan didn't know about the trafficking, let's just say when he called the pakhan, that was our opportunity. Maxim, the pakhan, set up a meeting and sent us in his place to pick you up. You essentially saved yourself with that move. That was smart."

"And Sergei? His men?" I had to ask. "What about them." Maddox's eyes shuttered.

"What do you need to know?" One hand wiped furiously against his jeans. Just then, I noticed he wasn't wearing his cut. I wasn't sure I'd ever seen him without the black leather cut with the Iron Brotherhood emblem on the back.

"Where are they, Maddox?" I scrutinized him. Did they get away? I don't want to live my life looking over my shoulder." Deep in my bones, I knew one thing about Maddox Bishop: He would never have let those men walk away.

"Are you sure you want to know? There isn't any room for lies between us, but that doesn't mean you need a front-row seat to all the ugliness and horror." His eyes were serious and stern.

"It's not ugliness. It's your truth, and I'm here for it, whatever it is." I could not give him more assurance. His truth was mine, whatever it was.

That did the trick because he gave a terse nod. "Ok, baby. Sergei is being held at the Open Road until he can have my proper attention." The words were heavy with meaning. "Dimitri ensures he doesn't get too lonely, but he will die there. The other four men died at the farmhouse."

Relief swept through me first, and then I wondered if that made me a horrible person. Should I be horrified that those men died or that Sergei was likely to be tortured to death?

"Am I horrible that I'm glad?" I picked at a thread in the thin hospital blanket. "That I'm thankful."

"Of course not," he said fiercely. I would do anything for you, Helena. Anything." His words were full of intent as he leaned forward and laid his lips to mine, hovering over me, his breath mingling against me until tears sprung to my eyes. There was no sense in the relief that I felt safe or the sadness in my heart. Would he want me to leave now that there was no excuse to stay at the club?

"Let me go get a nurse. You look like you're in pain." With another whisper kiss, he left my bedside. I couldn't articulate how much I wanted him to stay, to curl next to me and not leave me.