44. Gryphon

Chapter 44

Gryphon

A nger is all I can feel when Mila tells me her story, and I'm a little surprised that she felt comfortable enough to confess.

She didn't miss a single beat. She just cut her chest right open, that barely healed wound, and let herself bleed.

The least I can do is listen.

I never thought I would see the day she would ever confide in me, and I have to fight every atom in my body to stop myself from wrapping my arm around her, pushing her close to my chest.

Lily…

It's one thing to push me around, but not Mila.

Never Mila.

I almost snap the wood of the table when Mila recites her tale of when the Alpha came to her room at the Academy, and what she offered her…

It was almost too good to be true. Which it probably was.

She promised Mila the one thing no one else could.

Freedom.

And not just from the confines of the Academy, but true, utter freedom.

Freedom from the need and want of a pack, and the guilt cuts me up into pieces.

How this small, sweet creature could ever feel that it was better to be alone than to be with a pack who could hurt her again…

Well, that's all on me. It's my fault that she felt like she had no choice but to work for Lily and potentially betray us.

I'm not surprised that Lily suspects that we're going to try and overthrow her. Not one bit.

That woman is always one step ahead, and we need to play our cards carefully.

Still, Mila will not fight her alone.

It must have taken real courage to confess to me tonight, and I appreciate it. Even though I don't deserve her honesty, I am grateful.

Her beautiful eyes are red and swollen when she sniffs, wiping her face for the millionth time.

I resist the urge to wipe her tears away again, keeping my hands to myself.

I don't deserve to touch her.

"You must hate me…"

Her question catches me off guard, and then I have to swallow back the guilt.

She thinks I hate her...

"No. I know what it's like being leashed by that woman."

Those big, shining eyes of green waver when the words leave my lips. "You do?"

I heave a sigh, pressing the heel of my hand to my eyes. "That's… why I was such an asshole… not that it condones my behavior…."

She's too stunned to speak, but I continue, regardless.

"I was just scared. Confused. She somehow managed to convince me that you were the enemy, Mila. As if you could ever harm a fly…"

Silence. And I curse myself for being so stupid.

I sound like an idiot.

But I will get my half-assed apology out there.

The only way I can truly redeem myself.

After all, I've just spent the last few days in a boring hotel room, with nothing but my right hand for company, and I don't miss the hurt on her face.

She wanted me in the nest with her, but she must understand…

I don't deserve her. Not yet.

I have to earn her forgiveness first.

That's all I can manage to say. I just don't know how to be sentimental.

My father was a tough nut to crack too, and he's who I get it from.

Only Oliver brings out my soft side, but when I look into those big green eyes of Mila's, I feel that hard resolve melting.

She gives me a sweet smile, even though I don't deserve it, and reaches across to take my hand.

Her fingers hover there for a moment, but then she thinks better of it and tucks her hands beneath her legs instead.

She bows her head, a sigh escaping her.

"Will… will you tell Oliver? The others?"

I close my eyes. "I don't have to."

She looks up.

I sense him hovering in the hall, feel him through our bond, and I am ashamed of myself for not alerting her or making him a part of this, but I incline my chin and she turns, and I see the soul leaving her eyes when she spies Oliver.

He's not mad, of course.

No. His face matches how I feel on the inside.

He's only ashamed of himself.

"Oh, Mila…" he whispers. "I'm so sorry…"

Mila breaks down, and she lets him wrap his arms around her. Now her cries echo through the kitchen, and I give them their moment.

Still. Maybe one day, she can feel safe enough to cry into my arms.

But I have to earn it first.

Until then, I will keep my distance.