29. Mila

Chapter 29

Mila

I n the end, I picked out twelve blankets, and enough pillows to build myself a stairway to heaven.

Again, all blue. There's just something about the refreshing color that I adore. Not only does it remind me of the ocean, but it also matches the color of my scent match's eyes.

Oliver's eyes are as tumultuous as the sea, but I also got some things in burgundy, dark chocolate, and ice blue, too.

Something to match all their eye colors.

I shouldn't really let them indulge me like this. Not when I am about to put them all through a world of pain, but…

I just wanted to be spoilt for once in my miserable life. My Omega is literally purring at the sight of all those blankets, and I can't wait to get home and start on my nest.

My nest. It still doesn't seem real.

For so long, I had ignored this Omega status of mine, but now I am embracing it.

I shouldn't. One day, once my work with the pack is done, what will I do? Will I just pack up all my things and leave?

Or would I have to abandon everything and then buy myself some new blankets?

Would I build myself my own nest?

Sounds awful, and I am just so torn.

Even if I wanted to stay in the end, Lily would just make it so that we were all miserable. She would make us all pay one way or another.

It sucks, and no matter what, I am trapped with no way out.

The best I can do is find some happiness where I can. Even if I get to have the pack for a little while, I will take it. Even if it is highly selfish.

At first, I took Lily's offer because I wanted to get away from the academy, but now that I am back with the pack, I am daring to let myself hope again.

It shouldn't be like this. It should not be this hard.

Gryphon cornered me earlier, and his words still ring through my head.

He knew… he smelled her all over me, and for a moment I thought it was all over and he would tell Oliver immediately.

But he didn't. When Oliver found us together, he said nothing and just continued as if nothing happened.

I don't understand. Why is he keeping my secret?

I am going to betray his Omega, but he still kept secrets to himself. I don't know whether to be thankful or not.

When we got to the checkout, he even offered to pay. There was a little disagreement at first with Barret and Lachlan as they wanted to do the honors, but Oliver shut them all up and agreed that it was best that Gryphon paid.

A way for Gryphon to make it up to me.

I also got a couple of scented candles, and yes, I got the one that smelled like Gryphon.

He didn't comment on it, though. However, I didn't miss the red blush that took over his cheeks when the woman at the checkout scanned it through with the rest of our shopping.

He was silent back in the car, and even when he pulled up outside the house, he didn't speak.

I don't move from the backseat. I tell Oliver that I wish to remain for a while and gather myself.

In the end, he agreed, saying that he would make a start on my nest.

They are going to convert one of the spare rooms into my nest. They have some paint left over from when we decorated my room, and they are going to paint the walls blue.

As the others head to the house, Lachlan turning back to ensure I am safe alone with Gryphon, I let out a sigh, wrapping my arms around myself to keep the cold out.

Gryphon is silent in the front seat. He taps the steering wheel with his finger, and the sound echoes through the small space.

His scent is more fire than marshmallow now, and I hold my breath lest it gets the better of me.

This is it. Time to tell him.

There's no point in hiding it. The Alpha already has me figured out.

He has had me figured out from the start.

"Gryphon—"

To my surprise, he opens the door of the Jeep, coming around to help me out. "Not now. Oliver is really excited about building you your nest, Mila, and I don't want to add a damper on it."

Shame ripples through me, and I bow my head, hugging myself tighter. "Will… will you tell him?"

Gryphon doesn't reply at first. He just keeps the door open, bringing in the cold, and I shiver.

"No. I don't know if you have noticed, Mila, but… I am not very popular at the moment. My place in the pack is uncertain right now, things are tense. If I told him, it would only make him antagonize me further. I am just trying to do the right thing by my pack now…"

Right. I knew that.

And I can respect that too. I know he would never want me, but I can understand why he doesn't want to unsettle the pack bond.

"Besides… I'm not sure if I fully understand it myself… But there's one thing I do understand, and that is Lily. And that tells me enough."

I cringe, squeezing my eyes.

It was that obvious, hey? I bet the fear was written all over my eyes.

A disadvantage of having big, expressive eyes. Everyone knows what you are thinking.

"However, I still shouldn't have cornered you like that. S-sorry."

I blink, looking up at him in surprise.

The Alpha doesn't meet my eyes, his knuckles bone white as he keeps a tight grip on the car door.

I suppose it's best we both got inside lest the others get suspicious.

I still need to think of the best way to approach this. Do I tell Gryphon the whole story and confide in him or keep it all bottled up inside?

Just maybe… he can help me.

Something about him is a little different. He's more self-assured, but his scent is no longer laced with sweat and fear.

It appears Lily's hold on him has loosened somewhat, and I wonder what happened to make him bolder.

I decided that I liked this side of him more, and maybe he wasn't as bad as I thought he was.

Maybe I can understand him a little more now that the very same woman who haunted him for so long has the very same chokehold on me now.

He asked what she had over me, and I was too scared to say.

But maybe in time, I will tell him.

There's just one little flaw to that sentiment.

Time is not something I have. Lily will want to check in on me soon and see how I am settling back with the pack. Then she will give me my first task.

So far, she has kept her distance, but it has only been a day since I returned.

Lily will come snooping sometime. And she will want a full report.

I slip on the mud as I climb out the door, but before I face-plant the mud, strong arms capture me, and instead of the floor, my face lands on a hard chest.

Gryphon's heart pounds beneath, and I almost die of shame when that heats pools between my lips.

I think I would have been better off hitting the floor. His muscles are so hard, I'm pretty sure I bruised my cheek.

A soft sound rumbles in Gryphon's chest, and my eyes widen when I realize Gryphon is purring for me.

Timidly, I look up, meeting his eyes.

They burn passionately, and now it's like I'm the only thing he can see.

But then he flinches, turning his gaze away as he helps me to my feet. Then he whirls away from me and storms toward the house, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

Well, it's progress, I suppose.

Yet, I can't stop feeling giddy.

Gryphon purred. For me.

Not Oliver; the Omega isn't even present.

That soft, reassuring sound was for me, and just maybe things will get better.

Maybe one day, I can confide in him. I can confide in them all.

For now, I will let them spoil me.

After all, I can't wait for my nest.