19. Mila

Chapter 19

Mila

I don’t unpack. I just stare at the blue wall that Oliver and I painted together, knowing I don’t deserve to be back here.

Who am I to seek forgiveness, when I am here to betray them all?

After all, I am working for Lily now.

The woman promised me my freedom. With her assistance, I won't need a pack; I will be free to live life by my own means.

I'll just have to sell my soul in the process.

Once I've betrayed the pack, she will expect more from me. I just know it. And then one day I won't even be able to look at myself in the mirror anymore.

Even if I changed my mind and decided to stay with them in the end, she would make me suffer. She would make all of us suffer, doing everything in her power to keep us apart.

Even if she has nothing to gain from her cruelty, she will do it.

We're her subjects, and we have to do as she says.

At this point, I wouldn't stay with the pack anyway out of sheer guilt. They deserve better.

Before, I was afraid of getting my heart broken again, but now I am going to break theirs.

And Gryphon's hatred of me will finally be justified.

I run my fingers through my hair, pulling at the roots, hoping the pain can knock some sense into me.

Dinner will be ready soon.

I don't think I can go out there and face them.

No, instead, I will go back to the academy, call Lily, and tell her that the deal is off.

At this point, I deserve a life of imprisonment.

No pack will ever want an Omega with a record like mine.

I attacked another Omega for crying out loud; I knocked out her teeth.

Six pm comes and goes, but I don't leave the room. I just keep burning a hole into the wall, stewing in self-hatred.

This is all so wrong.

I can't betray them like this. They may have abandoned me, but I am not this person…

I am not vindictive.

I'm the type of girl who works her ass off to ensure her father has a nice warm bed to sleep in.

And now he has a beautiful grave where he can sleep for eternity with my mother.

I will call Lily, and tell her that I won't work for her.

I will not disrespect my father's memory.

All he wanted was for me to find a family. Someone to take care of me after he's gone.

The time on the clock reads six twenty, but I don't move from the bed.

How can I eat at the same table with them?

Lachlan was wrong to burn down the toolshed. I deserve to go back in there, eating cold beans while cutting my fingers on the tin and getting rained on by the leaky ceiling.

It's fine. I can hunt for rabbits in the woods.

It's not until six-thirty when one of them finally approaches the door, and I groan when my nose picks up on roasted marshmallows.

Gryphon.

Great. The last Alpha I want to talk to right now.

This will be fun.