17. Mila

Chapter 17

Mila

L achlan bows at my feet, and the embarrassment darkens my face.

Well, this is awkward. One moment, he was standing at the door, and the next, he was at my feet, burying his nose deep into the carpet.

But a traitorous lump lodges in my throat when I latch eyes on all four of them again, and my gaze goes straight to Oliver.

His smile is shy, and I have to glance away lest the guilt chews me up.

Alas, it's not the reunion it could have been, because I am secretly working undercover for Lily this time, and forever someone's little pawn.

I will never truly be free.

Thankfully, Lachlan distracts my morose thoughts next by bawling at the ground, and I shift my eyes.

Oh, lord.

"Mila… please … forgive us…"

Yeah. Extremely, extremely uncomfortable.

"We never meant to forsake you... We are not worthy of your forgiveness, but I swear… on behalf of the entire pack… that we will make it up to you…"

The Alpha shakes with the very weight of his grief now, and it looks like my disappearance must have really taken its toll on him.

It's hard to be so mad at an Alpha when he is wailing at your feet, the pack as a whole, for that matter, when he looks so pathetic right now, with snot and tears running down his face.

But who am I to seek forgiveness when I'm the one betraying them this time?

No, no, I can't let my thoughts go there. This is for the best. No matter what, I cannot let them get the best of me again.

We can never be together…

I'm better off alone.

However, it's hard to look any of them in the eye, and I notice Gryphon's careful, narrowed stare then, as if he is suspicious of something that he can't quite put his finger on.

The last time I saw him, I had yelled at him, whacking his hand away as if he had the plague or something, and I bet he is very confused indeed at my sudden change of heart.

I would be, too. So, so very confused.

No one does a complete one-eighty like that. Not in the span of twelve hours.

They all keep their distance, well, except for Lachlan, who's still bawling like an overgrown baby.

Headmistress Charlotte watches Lachlan completely appalled, her hand hovering over the security button on her desk in case the Alpha tries anything nefarious.

It doesn't take a genius to realize that Lachlan may have a screw loose or two, and now Barret finally steps forward, yanking him back up to his feet.

"Get a hold of yourself. You're going overboard."

Lachlan stammers. "But… she deserves to know how sorry we are… Mila… we… never…"

And there he goes again with the waterworks, and Barret shoves him toward Oliver now so that the Omega can comfort his Alpha.

I guess Lachlan is just a tad sensitive. He used to bring me flowers from the woods after all, and my heart flutters at the memory.

He always had a sparkle in his blue eyes whenever he handed them to me, and I shove those thoughts away, and any lingering scent of fresh grass and woodland flowers.

Lachlan always smells so good. They all did, and I must keep my distance.

I can't get attached again.

Finally, Oliver steps forward, scratching the back of his neck, and I hold my breath when my nose gets its fill of his honeycomb. "Mila… we don't know what to say… thanks for giving us another chance… I… guess…"

I don't speak. I don't think I can bring myself to gaze into his ocean eyes.

This was a huge mistake. I can't go through with this, and I'm about to run out of the room and tell Lily that the whole deal is off.

I will just have to put up with a lifetime of imprisonment at the academy, serving nasty Omegas in the kitchens for the rest of my days.

No matter what choice I make, I am stuck. If I stay, I'm trapped.

If I go…

My dad's face flashes up before me. I remember how happy he had been when he thought that I'd finally found my family, and it's all too much.

I start to cry.

No one in the room knows what to do. They just watch me cry crocodile tears, and I'm not sure what came over me.

The death of my father, the pack's abandonment, Lily, and now this…

I just don't know what I want anymore.

Before, it was so much simpler. Become a soldier, and join a pack so I can take care of my father.

Now nothing makes sense.

"Mila?" Oliver asks, stepping closer.

He reaches out a hand.

I don't think. I merely take his outstretched hand, letting him pull me into a hug, and I bury my nose into the crook of his shoulder, his honeycomb scent taking me back to a time when I was still happy.

When things seemed so much simpler.

Lachlan joins our hug, and now I breathe in his wildflower scent, too.

This doesn't mean that I forgive them just yet.

But I just needed someone to hold onto.

Once the world makes sense again, I will distance myself and seize my freedom.

I will never be tied down to any pack ever again.

It's for the best.

The only way.

Only then, I can truly be happy.