Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Seventeen

It had been several weeks since James had learned from Billy of Mike’s and Maria’s roles in his father’s arrest. He thought he might hear from Mike, but he never did. Enough information had been released to the press for people to know that his father was behind Billy’s assault, as well as the crime being motivated by bigotry against blacks and the LGBTQ community. While there had been a couple of extremist congressmen who had excused Charles’ actions as a man trying to protect his children, the vast majority—even in his own party—knew they had to cut ties. His father had resigned after the arrest and there had been no contact between him and his sons. So, it was a surprise when he awoke to a request from Charles to meet with James and Billy. It had been arranged that the visit would be at the Hudson Valley mansion since Charles had an ankle bracelet and was not allowed to leave his residence.

“I wish Father hadn’t chosen the day before the Tony Awards to meet with us,” James shared with Billy as they ascended the steps of the grand home.

“You could have refused to see him,” Billy pointed out.

James sighed and rang the doorbell. “So could you.”

Once they had been searched, the two rolled their eyes at each other and made their way to the living room where they found their father.

“Boys,” Charles greeted. “Thank you for agreeing to see me. Please, sit.”

James and Billy exchanged another uncomfortable glance, then took seats on chairs as far from their father as the room permitted. “Father, we can’t stay long. We have things to do in preparation for tomorrow’s awards ceremony.”

Charles chuckled. “You’re in the driver’s seat now, aren’t you, James? Well, I admit it is nice to see you when you aren’t cowering. My regrets that I never congratulated you on your nomination. You proved me wrong. I guess you didn’t need to buy votes to secure it. I still think you would have had a better chance of winning tomorrow if you’d heeded my advice. At least with you taking William to the ceremony, you’ll have someone to console you when you lose.”

Billy bit his lower lip, trying to remain civil. “James never had to cheat to get what he has. He’s earned everything with talent and kindness. Unlike you. What did you want us here for, Father? I can see that it wasn’t to apologize for what you’ve done.”

Charles nodded, the cool fa?ade cracking a bit. “Believe it or not, Billy, I have wanted to apologize to you. Perhaps my punishment was too extreme. My lawyers told me to stay quiet, though, fearing outreach would incriminate me further. But now I’ve pled guilty to the charges and there’s no reason to remain silent. I am sorry that you were hurt. I should have tried harder to find a different way to achieve the desired outcome.”

“You suck at apologies,” James blurted. “Don’t even bother.”

Charles pursed his lips. “I apologize for the tactics. However, my intentions were honorable. I was trying to steer the two of you on the right path.”

James snarled with a biting laugh. “The right path? You mean like the one you chose?”

Charles held up his hand in surrender. “As I’ve already acknowledged, some of my tactics were misguided. You know, I watched my own father and thought his ways were the keys to success. For a long time, they were, for both him and for me. I should have remembered that he went through multiple wives and died alone with me being the only one at his funeral who loved him. And now, it seems, history is repeating itself. Possessions, it seems, are built on sand. I’m afraid there will be nothing I can leave for the two of you. That is one of the reasons I brought you here. I wanted to inform you that there is no pot of gold coming your way. You’ll need to make your own ways in life. As for me, if it is any consolation, I recognize I’ll end up as my father did—dying alone.”

“You have Victoria and Lilah,” Billy muttered.

“Victoria filed for divorce,” Charles stated. “She would have been the first one on a lifeboat from the Titanic. And Victoria hasn’t let me see Lilah since she left.”

“I’m sorry,” James said. He wasn’t sure if he was, but it seemed the right thing to say, regardless of what had transpired.

Charles acknowledged the gesture with a sardonic smile. “Boys, I’ve had lots of time to reflect on things. I’ve reconciled myself to the probability of one son marrying into a poor, black family and the other ending up with a man. I won’t say that I love either scenario, but I recognize your decisions are out of my hands now. You may not agree with what I thought was best for you, but I did what I did out of love.”

“Oh, come on,” James spat. “Your reputation with your base had nothing to do with it?”

“Yes, but the two were aligned, James. My politics represent my beliefs of what is best not only for you, but for this nation. I understand you don’t agree, and that is your right. You are grown men now. So, I’ll just say that whatever you decide for yourselves, I do wish you success and happiness. Contrary to what you may think, I do love you. Therefore, live your lives as you see fit. You can’t end up worse than me in the end.” He paused, looking out the window for a moment to compose himself. “I’ll be going away. I’m sure you’ll be happy to hear that you’ll never see me again.”

The sons exchanged looks of surprise. “What do you mean? You think you’ll be given a life-sentence?” James gasped.

Charles shook his head. “I’m not going to prison. I’ll be in a witness-protection program. I’ve shared the names of every corrupt political, judicial and law enforcement official I know, as well as how we worked together. I also named organized crime actors and arrangements we had. I will have a target on my head for my remaining days, but the Feds are giving me a new life, albeit a much more modest one. As part of that deal, once I’m relocated with a new identity, I can never contact you or anyone I know from this life again. I wouldn’t, anyway. It would put you in danger.”

James wasn’t sure if he felt sorry for his father or thought he was getting off too easy. “Will they come after us anyway?”

“I doubt it. I said some things during my testimony that were lies.” James frowned to hear that even after his father’s arrest, he had continued breaking the law. “I know. I perjured myself under oath. Just chalk it up to another instance where I did what I thought was best for you, even if the tactics were less than honorable.”

“What lies? What are you talking about?” Billy inquired.

“I told them that I had no problem doing the things I did to the two of you because you were embarrassments to me. I denied I cared about either of you,” Charles explained. “That was the lie.”

“I don’t understand.” James swallowed.

Charles stiffened his back, appearing uncomfortable with being vulnerable and emotional. “My enemies have no reason to harm you if they think I wouldn’t care. But as I told you, I do love you and would care if something bad were to happen to you because of me. I gave Victoria and Lilah the same cover by testifying that my wife is a greedy bitch and my daughter is an ungrateful little brat.”

James and Billy shared another look—they didn’t see how that part was a lie.

“When will you leave?” James asked.

“Tomorrow,” Charles responded. “That was the other reason I wanted to see you. I wanted to explain myself for past actions, as well as why you won’t hear from me again. It would be a great favor to me if, in time, you both could forgive what you perceived as cruelty and consider my motives.” He rose from the chair, pulling each son into an awkward embrace. “But I realize that time is not today.”

* * * *

The moment had arrived to announce the winner for lead actor in a musical. James heard his name mentioned along with the other nominees just as Billy grabbed his hand with a supportive squeeze. James was prepared to hear another actor’s name announced. The disaster made by his father and the crimes he committed couldn’t have helped him during the voting process.

“James Vicksburg,” the Broadway veteran actress announced to thunderous cheers.

The world blurred. James wondered if he had imagined the moment until Billy was shouting in his ear, “You won! James, you won!”

James was even more shocked when the crowd rose to give him a standing ovation. Billy was nudging him to rise from his seat, and James realized his legs were moving on automatic pilot. The occasional slap on his back from audience members as he passed them reminded him that this was, indeed, reality. His actor instincts kicked in as he reached the podium. He kissed the presenter on the cheek and took the statue from her before looking out to the audience. Billy was pumping his fist in the air and smiling so broadly that James feared he’d pull a jaw muscle.

Once the crowd settled down and was seated, James struggled to remember the speech he had rehearsed over and over on the remote chance he won. But try as he might, it was gone, like any comprehension of how this moment had occurred.

“Uh, I’ve forgotten everything I wanted to say,” James admitted, eliciting polite laughter from the spectators. “I am so shocked to have won. Of course, I’d like to thank the amazing cast and crew of the show. I’m grateful to have had the opportunity to be surrounded by their talent and kindness every day.” There was clapping from the audience. “Thanks to our amazing director, the people who do all the stuff that never gets recognized in support of the show and, of course, the fans who brought their love and energy.”

James caught his breath, listening to more applause. He thought what he would say next might bring tears, and it did. “I know my life has been a news topic of late. I want people to know that I’m sorry about my father’s actions and, even more so, I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough to stop him from hurting others. I have excuses, but when all is said and done, I let the fear I had for myself and for the people I love stop me from speaking out.” James now felt so many tears that he knew his face was wet. “I should have trusted people who offered support. I’d like to extend a special thanks to those who helped me get to this place despite my stubbornness. My good friend and castmate, Emily Hunt.” There was applause from the audience for the noted actress. “My brother, Billy. He helped me survive everything, has always been my best friend and has always had my back. I love you and your beautiful girlfriend, Nadia.” James glanced to the audience. Billy was wiping tears away, too. He reset his eyes on the trophy to compose himself. “And the person I owe most is Mike Cooper.” The audience clapped some more, recognizing from the news stories that Mike was the one who had set the senator’s trap and that he had been in a brief relationship with James.

“He was my hero when I was eighteen, and he’s my hero now.” James waited for the clapping to stop. “And so are the others who helped Mike that I won’t name for their safety. Just know I appreciate you. You cared about me even though I didn’t deserve it.” James sucked in a sob, then looked out at the audience, smiling with some embarrassment. “All this has taught me to trust others and believe in myself more. I hope to use my art, my voice and my means to help bring greater justice, kindness and assistance to those who aren’t as fortunate as me.” James raised the trophy triumphantly, shooting an expression of gratitude to the audience. “This means so much. Thank you!”

He didn’t remember being whisked away by the presenter or the emotional reception to his speech from the audience. Before he knew it, he was in the press room with his eyes adjusting to multiple flashes and his ears being bombarded by the many questions being hurled his way. James hoped he had handled everything better than the mess he felt he was.

After the program was over, James and Billy attended a post-ceremony party and danced together and with other celebrators to all the fast numbers, not caring if they drew attention or looked like fools. Breaks from dancing were filled with notable and not-so-notable actors and technicians congratulating James on his victory.

When James spotted Emily Hunt, who had won featured actress in a musical, he rushed to hug her. “Emily, I was so glad when you won!”

She smiled in return. “I was happy when they said your name, too. I’m just sorry your award was given right before the best musical was named. You were with the press when they announced our show’s victory. You should have been on the stage with the rest of us!”

“It’s okay. I can’t believe this night,” James gushed. “I was sure I would come in last with votes. How could people vote for me?”

Emily grabbed his face with both of her hands. “First off, because you deserved it for your amazing performances every day. And James, don’t you get it? You think people blame you for your father’s actions? You’re his son. They understand you can’t just hate him. And they learned you did speak out once, and look what he did to you. They saw the sacrifices you made to protect people around you while still fighting his actions, in a more nuanced way, like starring in a show that repudiates the behaviors of people like him. James, you think you’re weak, but everyone I talk to thinks you’re strong. You’re becoming a bit of an urban legend.”

James laughed. “I don’t deserve to be. Emily, thank you for everything you did to help me. I am glad I opened up to you.”

Emily kissed him. “Me too. And thank you for the call-out during your speech. I’m also glad you said you can trust others now. There are lots of people who want to be there for you, James. You don’t have to be alone anymore.” He nodded and hugged her. A slow-dance number started. “Come on. Let’s dance. Unless you wanted to dance with your brother some more?”

James chuckled. “I love him a ton, but I don’t slow dance with him.”

As he and Emily swayed around the ballroom, James noticed a troubled look on Billy’s face as he watched from the side. When the song was over, he kissed Emily’s cheek and thanked her. She ran to other cast members for an embrace and more talk about the awards.

James approached Billy with a questioning expression.

“She’s not the one,” Billy murmured.

“What?”

“She’s lovely. And I’ll always appreciate what she did for us,” Billy explained. “But she’s not the one for you. Mike is.”

“Billy…”

Billy clapped a hand on James’ shoulder to silence him. “The danger is over. Father is gone. And even he gave you his half-assed blessing to do what’s best for you. Mike is what’s best for you. He’s the one who made you the happiest. You said it yourself earlier—he’ll always be your hero. Call him. It’s time.”

James felt the same warmth and dizziness he had experienced upon hearing his name called at the award ceremony. “After what I said to him, what if he doesn’t want me anymore?”

Billy hugged James and whispered in his ear. “Be strong enough to be vulnerable. He has his pride, too. You dumped him—it’s on you to ask for another chance. If you do, I bet he’ll say yes.”

* * * *

It was three in the morning when James arrived back at his apartment, a little tipsy from the generous amount of alcohol that was offered to him at the post-event party. He removed his tux jacket, undid the bowtie then plopped in front of the computer. Once logged on, he started reading the news articles about his win and his ‘emotional’ speech. James was wary of reading the comments. He didn’t want to ruin the high he was experiencing.

James switched to his chat application. He had missed many messages and well-wishes from friends and acquaintances. He scanned the list, disappointed that there wasn’t one from Mike. He did notice, however, that Mike was one of his ‘Facebook friends’ that was displaying as ‘online.’

James debated messaging Mike, considering the early morning hour. Nevertheless, if Mike was online, it wasn’t like he’d be waking him. Maybe it was the liquor, maybe it was Billy’s prodding, but James found himself typing the question ‘you up?’

There was an uncomfortable pause, and James began to regret his action. Then he saw the ellipses displaying, showing Mike was typing a response.

After a moment, the words ‘Yes. I was just reading all the news stories about you. I lost track of time’ displayed.

“Would you be willing to video chat with me?” James asked through the keyboard.

Instead of receiving a typed response, the computer pinged, asking if he would accept Mike’s invitation to video call. Once James accepted, he was greeted with an image of a shirtless Mike sitting in front of his computer. He sighed, reminded of Mike’s handsomeness.

“Congratulations,” Mike greeted. “You deserved to win.”

James blushed and looked away from the screen. “I don’t know. I’m guessing that people voted out of sympathy, but thank you. Are you sure it’s okay to chat now? I see you’re ready for bed.”

Mike glanced down at his bare chest, then he looked back up and shrugged. “I’ve been sitting in my boxers since the awards show ended, and here I am, still up.”

“I’m glad,” James whispered.

“Yeah? Hey, thanks for what you said during your speech. That was sweet.”

“I meant it,” James said. “You are my hero.”

Now Mike blushed. “I didn’t do anything to be a hero. I helped because I wanted you and Billy to be free.”

James nodded. “And because you love me.”

Mike flinched. “I…I didn’t tell Billy I love you.”

“I know,” James replied.

Mike frowned and was silent for a moment. “Well, it doesn’t matter anyway, does it? You don’t do relationships.”

James grimaced, remembering their last conversation. “Mike, I’m sorry. I was stupid. I should have asked you for help. I should have trusted you. I was wrong.”

“James, I understand you wanted to protect Billy. This isn’t about what you said when you broke up with me. It’s about the way you seemed to have second thoughts after you and I made love. I think I knew then that you couldn’t commit to me.”

James didn’t think there were any more tears left in him, but he realized he was wrong. A couple formed in the corner of his eyes to mock his planned stoicism. “Mike…”

“It’s okay,” Mike cut in. “I’m not trying to guilt you, James. My falling for you doesn’t necessitate you falling, too.”

“But I was,” James blurted, his voice cracking. “That’s what scared me. I thought I had closed my heart off to others. I was angry with myself because I knew what was happening would end badly. I was afraid to see you get hurt.”

“But I did get hurt,” Mike reminded him.

“Not financially. Not physically,” James explained.

“No. It was worse,” Mike stated.

James stared down at the keyboard. When he was able to catch his breath, he continued. “Can you forgive me? Is it too late? Mike, I do love you. Please give me another chance.”

Mike looked at James’ wet, pleading eyes. “James…”

“Mike, you won’t need to worry about me doubting us again.”

Mike gave James a slight smile. “I needed to hear you say that…to believe this is really what you want. James, I can’t tell you how happy that makes me. I want it, too.”

James wiped a tear away and his eyes widened with hope. “Yeah?”

Mike nodded. “Yeah. And I want you to take off that beautiful tux so I can see your even more beautiful body.”

James jerked his head back with surprise, then he wiped a remaining stray tear before gulping and laughing. “What? As quick as that, you return to being a voyeur perv again?”

Mike smiled. “Well, at least I didn’t ask for online sex this time. Unless, that is, you’re offering…”

James shook his head with relief that Mike was on board with reuniting. He fell back into their typical snarky banter. “Is this how it’s going to be with us?”

“All the time,” Mike stated in a matter-of-fact tone. “Now, dry those tears. You’re not as attractive when you’re crying. I should point that out.”

James looked offended. “Thanks.”

Mike shrugged. “Just saying. Although you were very cute at the ceremony tonight, even with the flood on your cheeks. I was wishing I could kiss and lick you dry.”

James smirked. “Oh yeah? That might have boosted the ratings.”

“Mm,” Mike agreed. “Good thing there was a podium. It would have helped to hide what I would be doing next when I got down on my knees in front of you.”

“Jesus,” James murmured.

“You look so sexy in a tux,” Mike continued. “Can I tell you about one of my fantasies?” James nodded. “I’ve thought about you in black tie, just like tonight. But no jacket, shirt unbuttoned and chest exposed, the loose tie still around the collar. Then you unzip those tailored trousers and slide them and your underwear down those incredible legs. I get to feast upon your body wearing nothing but the opened dress shirt and tie and a pair of black socks.”

James swallowed. “Oh. So, you have a thing for black socks?”

“No,” Mike replied. “I have a thing for you, undressed in different ways to tease the hell out of me.”

James nodded, undid his tie and began unbuttoning his shirt. He watched Mike’s eyes light up with surprise and lust. Once he reached the last button, he pushed open the shirt and exposed his chest. “Like this?”

Mike moaned. “I didn’t think you would…”

James pushed farther back from the camera and removed his shoes, then stood, undid his pants and used his fingers to hook them and his underwear before gliding them down his legs. James heard Mike make a guttural noise of appreciation. Once the trousers were off his legs, James stood to give Mike a full view. “See, Mike? I’m willing to push past my fears and insecurities for you. I want to make you happy. I need you to believe that things will be different for us now.”

Mike inhaled a sharp breath. “Wow. How I feel about you sure hasn’t changed.”

James sat back down on the chair and rolled it closer to the camera lens so that all Mike could see was James’ shoulders, neck and face. “How I feel about you never changed either. I’m sorry I led you to believe otherwise. Hey, tomorrow is Monday. Broadway is dark. Do you think maybe you could come over?”

Mike raised an eyebrow. “I could. But maybe you should come over here instead. You’ve never been. And unlike your place, your brother and Nadia don’t have a key to mine.”

James smiled. “Perfect. I’ll bring breakfast.” Then he took one more look at Mike’s happy face and sighed. “And condoms.” When Mike gasped, James chuckled. “Goodnight, Mike.”