6. TANNER

6

TANNER

T he forest was quiet, the kind of stillness that lets you hear your own thoughts loud and clear. I was supposed to be chopping wood, but instead, I found myself leaning against the rough bark of a pine tree, staring off into the distance.

The axe stood against the tree, my fingers tracing the wooden edge.

My mind kept drifting back to Rae and the sexual tension. What had happened between us had nearly been enough to tear me apart.

If I let her in again, it was going to be hell.

I would have to leave her again and I didn’t think my heart could handle it twice in a row.

Fuck, I’d thought I’d left all of that behind. I’d come here because Silver Ridge was nothing. It was the kind of place with the kind of people you could forget.

Not that that was true.

I’d grown fond of these people, too.

But safe houses, as we called all the towns, rather than the actual houses, weren’t supposed to be used for as many years as I was using this one.

It was always meant to be short-term only before we moved on.

Turned out I didn’t want to move on. A man got so fucking tired of running.

Rae had wanted to fight me yesterday, and I let her. It was supposed to be just a way to blow off steam, to work through the tension. I knew what she was like—too many pent-up emotions and she exploded.

We used to spar all the time, getting rid of it.

But her anger had never been aimed at me.

Her fighting had never been so deliberate… and she’d never been that fucking hot.

God, it seemed the angrier she became, the more beautiful she was—a creature made of hellfire.

I’d taken her on because how could I not? How could I send her away when she’d had so much to work through?

This time, though, it had been me. I was the reason she was so angry.

It had stirred up something deeper, something I wasn’t ready to face.

I shook my head, trying to clear the tangle of my thoughts. I was supposed to be suspicious of her, supposed to keep my distance. I didn’t know why she was here or what she wanted. Why the hell she’d ended up on my property yesterday.

But every time I tried to stay away from her, I found myself thinking about her more, drawing closer when I saw her.

Kissing her.

Nearly fucking her.

Jesus, that had been a close call.

The way she looked at me, the fire in her eyes, the vulnerability she tried so hard to hide… It was like she had a direct line to my heart, a heart I thought I had closed off years ago when I left Seattle.

My axe fell forgotten on the ground as I sank down onto a fallen log. Memories of Rae and me in Seattle flooded back—late-night talks, shared dreams, the way she’d fit perfectly in my arms. Our home—small but perfect because she was in it. Photos I’d posed for even though I shouldn’t have allowed her to take any.

I hadn’t let myself think about those times since I left. It was too painful, too raw. But now, with her back in my life, it was like a dam wall had broken, and all those memories rushed back like stormwater, demanding to be acknowledged.

I picked up a piece of bark and started carving it with my knife, the repetitive motion giving my restless hands something to do.

How could I reconcile the love I still felt for Rae with the fear that she might be here to drag me back into the darkness I had fled?

The crunch of leaves underfoot broke through my thoughts, and I froze.

Bear appeared from behind a tree. He hadn’t tried to hide his coming—if he had, I wouldn’t have heard him until he was on top of me.

Or, if he wanted, until after I was already dead.

His tall frame cut an imposing figure among the trees. He carried himself with pride, upright and tall, but his movements were silent. He’d been trained by the best. I didn’t know the best of what .

His thick beard had been trimmed, but his brown hair, gray at the temples, was a mess. It only made him look more rugged, more mountain .

“Thought I’d find you out here,” Bear said, his voice deep.

I offered a half-hearted smile. “Needed to clear my head. Should be stocking up for winter.” I nodded at the axe on the floor.

Bear nodded, dropping down onto the log beside me. “Winter’s coming quick. Unless you want to spend the winter in town this year.”

I snorted. That wasn’t happening. I never stayed in town unless I was forced to, and Bear knew that. He was just fucking with me.

He took out a piece of dried meat, wrapped in a paper bag, and used a knife similar to mine to cut off half of it. He offered it to me.

He cut another piece and stuck it between his teeth, chewing.

“Wanna talk about it?” he asked around the meat in his cheek.

I’d cut a smaller piece off and I was chewing on the smoky game meat, too.

“Nothing to say.”

Bear side-eyed me and cut off another piece.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. “I can’t stop thinking about her.”

“Rae?”

I nodded.

Bear chuckled softly. “Women have a way of doing that to you.”

“It’s not just that,” I said, frustrated. “I’m supposed to be careful of her. She shows up out of nowhere, and I’m just supposed to trust that it’s a coincidence?”

“You don’t think it is?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know what to think. This was her haven, too, once upon a time. But times have changed, so what’s she doing here?”

Bear didn’t answer me, so I kept talking.

“If someone sent her to get me, wouldn’t this have happened ages ago? I can’t tell—I’m too worked up over her, my head and my heart playing games with each other and I can’t think straight through the noise.”

Bear leaned back, his gaze thoughtful. “Feelings like that don’t just disappear, Tanner. No matter how hard you try to bury them. If you love someone…” He shrugged. “Fucking bullshit, if you ask me.”

“I left her to protect her,” I said quietly. “But seeing her again, it’s like all those reasons don’t matter anymore. I just want to be close to her. Make sure she’s safe. I don’t know what she’s running from.”

Bear was silent for a moment, then he placed a hand on my shoulder. “You’ve got to figure out what’s more important, Tanner. Protecting her by keeping your distance, or being there for her now.”

I groaned.

“I shouldn’t have let her in at all. But I didn’t know it was that serious, not when I met her. I only knew afterward that she wasn’t safe. So I ran.”

“Love can be a strength or a weakness,” Bear said, carving off another piece of meat. “If you don’t decide what it is to you, it will be your destruction.”

I looked at him, searching his eyes for answers.

“Yeah?” Bear rarely talked about his past, but there was a hell of a lot more to him than met the eye.

Bear’s gaze grew distant, and for a moment, I saw a flicker of pain in his eyes. “I’ve seen a lot, done a lot. My time in the military, especially in special ops, taught me that love can give you something to fight for. But it can also make you vulnerable. It can make you wonder if it’s something you’re willing to die for.”

He didn’t elaborate, and I didn’t press him.

We sat in silence for a while. His words were pretty deep, but they didn’t help me the way I’d hoped they would. Would I die for Rae? Would I let her get close enough and take the chance? Would I risk dying because of Rae?

Bear stood and dusted his hand on his pants, putting his knife away.

“Thanks for the meat,” I said, my piece finished, too.

“Sure,” he said.

I watched as he walked away, leaving me alone between the trees.

I picked up my axe and started chopping wood, stocking up for winter.

You have to decide what you want to live for. What you want to die for.

Rae had been everything to me once. I’d left, and for the past couple of years, I’d been safe.

It had hurt like a bitch, but I’d thought she was safe, too. Leaving should have kept her safe.

If she was running now, it meant I’d failed her.

Would being closer to her keep her safe this time? Or would it be my own downfall? If she was running from someone else, would it ruin my plans of staying hidden? Or would she be the death of me, ruin everything I’d put in place over the years?

Rae had always been my weakness, but I didn’t know if I had what it took to find out exactly how far that went.

How much I was willing to give to be with her.

And how much I was willing to lose.