11. RAE

11

RAE

R eturning to my own cabin felt strangely hollow. The time spent at Tanner’s cabin had felt like a bubble. I’d been removed from reality and somehow taken back into the past. It had brought so many emotions, and now I was back here, away from him, the emptiness echoed all around me.

My ankle was better, but now I had a broken heart all over again.

Damn it, I’d arrived with one injury and left with another. It was all backward.

I glanced around the cabin that had become my home in the last couple of weeks in Silver Ridge. The familiar surroundings that I’d started to love now felt cold and unwelcoming.

It irritated me that I was going through this all over again. Hadn’t I beaten this, moved on, learned how to live without him?

Hank and Laken welcomed me back to work with open arms. I’d been worried about still having my job, but Hank had told Tanner he would keep my job open, and he’d been true to his word.

“We’re just glad you’re safe and sound and back with us, Rae,” Hank said with a grin, putting large hands on my shoulders. “You take it easy if you need, you hear?”

I nodded. “I’ll be fine. Thank you so much for understanding.”

“Of course,” Hank said. “Life happens, right?”

“Right.” He had no idea.

I threw myself into work. I hoped it would drown out the thoughts of Tanner with the mundane tasks of restocking shelves and ringing up customers. But it wasn’t that simple. His face, his touch, the way he looked at me with those intense eyes—it was all I could think about.

“Hey, Rae.” Laken’s cheerful voice broke through my thoughts as she walked up to the counter. “How are you doing?”

“I’m fine,” I said, forcing a smile. “Better.

“I’m so glad.” Laken reached over and squeezed my hand. “When Hank told me you were hurt, I wanted to bring you some food… only to learn you weren’t staying at your place.”

“Yeah.” I blushed. I looked down at the counter, looking for something I might focus my attention on, pretend to be busy. “I was caught in the storm on the mountain, and I ended up in Tanner’s cabin. I hurt my ankle so badly I had to wait it out. He was kind enough to help.”

Laken raised an eyebrow, her curiosity clearly getting the better of her. She glanced over her shoulder, probably to see if Hank was within earshot.

He wasn’t.

“Just a place to recover, huh?” She leaned on the counter, resting her hand on her chin. “So, just a case of you recovering and nothing else?”

I shook my head, trying not to smile.

“It’s not like that. I was just healing.”

“I bet he helped a lot with that.” She waggled her eyebrows at me.

“Laken!” I cried out and laughed, my cheeks burning now.

She laughed, excited. “Come on, you need to tell me all the juicy details.”

I busied myself, trying to avoid her curious eyes.

“Lunchtime,” Laken said when I didn’t answer her. “Then we can talk while we eat.”

I shook my head. “There’s nothing to say.”

“I don’t believe it,” Laken said, and despite myself, I giggled and blushed again.

“Fine. If it means it will get you off my back…”

“The only way to do it,” she said with a cheeky smile before she turned and walked back to the shelf she was stocking.

I shook my head and smiled.

Laken was a good friend. A little nosy, and a bit of a pain when she wanted to know what was going on like that, but she was there for me, and it had been a while since I’d known someone I knew I could trust.

My friends back in Chicago had all been Jethro’s friends to start off with, and if it came down to choosing sides, there was no doubting which way they would lean.

Here, Laken was on my side just because she was my friend. No politics, no debate.

Come lunchtime, Laken stayed true to her word and dragged me away from the store. We sat in the staff room, eating sandwiches, and she stared at me while I ate.

I laughed when she didn’t let up.

“Are you going to stare at me all day?”

“Just until you tell me.” She tapped her wrist where a watch would be. “We don’t have all day to take lunch, you know.”

I laughed again and then sighed.

“There’s really not that much to tell. Being with Tanner… was like going back to the past. But the past is better where it belongs, you know?”

“So, something happened between you two?”

“I don’t think it could have been any other way. I mean, Tanner and I used to be like two halves of a whole. He was my everything once upon a time. And I thought he felt the same. It just turns out he really didn’t. And now… it’s over.”

I looked at Laken, who studied me while I talked, chewing her sandwich.

“So, you’re not going to see him again?”

“I guess I’ll see him again. I mean, he comes into town for supplies and stuff sometimes. But it’s not like we’ll be seeing each other as anything other than civil residents. Friends. ”

Laken groaned. “Nothing worse than calling love friendship. ”

“What else can it be? I know it sucks.” It sucked more than I could ever explain to her. “But the truth is we don’t belong together, and that’s just how it is. I’m not going to fight him around every turn when I see him, but that’s it.”

My heart ached. Trying to make it seem so simple and straightforward made me realize exactly what it meant. Tanner and I weren’t together, no matter how great the last couple of days had been. He wasn’t my boyfriend. We weren’t even friends. Not really. But if he came to the store, I would be civil toward him, help him professionally as an employee, and if we ran into each other in the town’s streets, I would be civil and say good morning.

But that was as far as it went.

No matter how much it hurt.

When I looked up at Laken again, her eyes softened with sympathy. “Love can be a total bitch.”

I blinked at her before I laughed. “Very well said.”

“I don’t know what went on between you two in the past, and I’m not sure you’re telling me much about the past couple of days. I won’t push if you don’t want to talk about it. But you know I’m here for you, right? If you ever need to talk.”

“Thanks, Laken.” I leaned against her in a pseudo-hug while we both ate. “I just need some time to sort things out on my own.”

As the day wore on, I was just going through the motions without really being present. That was the beauty of such menial work—there was a lot of time to think. It was also my downfall when I didn’t want to think.

The store was busy, customers coming and going, but I felt disconnected, like I was watching everything from a distance.

Finally, the day came to an end. Hank paid me, and I pocketed the cash and headed out.

On my way home, the streets of Silver Ridge were quiet, the aftermath of the storm still evident in the muddy paths and fallen branches. When I looked up, the sky was dark and heavy with the promise of something more. Rain, snow…

I rounded a corner and caught a glimpse of someone familiar—a face that sent a chill down my spine. In a flash, he was gone, slipping around another corner.

It had been so quick. I wasn’t sure I’d seen it at all. My throat tightened, and my heart hammered against my chest.

It hadn’t been Jethro, that was for sure, but I knew his henchmen.

It had looked a lot like one of them…

I quickened my pace, trying to catch up. I had to know for sure if it had been real or just my imagination. The figure disappeared around another corner, so quick I still didn’t know who it was or where they were going.

The person was real, though. It hadn’t been just a fleeting moment of weakness, my mind taking over.

By the time I reached the spot, there was no sign of anyone. I looked around, breathing heavily. There wasn’t a single soul around, but my throat tightened more with paranoia rather than easing up.

“Get a grip, Rae,” I muttered to myself, shaking my head. “You’re being ridiculous.” It could have been anyone in town. Hell, it could have been no one at all.

It was now that I was alone again that I was seeing things. There was no way Jethro had found me here so quickly. Why would he think to look here at all?

I turned to head back to my cabin, trying to slow my breathing, but I kept feeling like I was being watched.

When I reached my cabin, I locked the door behind me and leaned against it. I let out a breath, but I didn’t feel relieved or safe.

The silence was overbearing, suffocating.

Usually, after work, I kept myself busy by reading. The cabin had a small bookshelf with a few novels, and I’d been working my way through them.

Tonight, I didn’t see a thing. I read the same page five times, and nothing.

My mind kept drifting back to Tanner.

I was furious with him. But at the same time, I missed his presence, his gruff kindness, and even our arguments. Being away from him was like a wound that refused to heal. I kept replaying our last conversation in my mind, his words cutting deeper each time.

He’d told me he didn’t care, that it was just a place to recover. He’d told me he’d left before, he hadn’t been on the same page, he hadn’t felt the same as I’d felt about him.

It had hurt me like a knife to the heart when he’d said it, but the way he had been with me, so loving and attentive, didn’t match up to his words.

There had to be more to it.

He was keeping me at arm’s length for a reason, and it was driving me crazy. I hated that he kept pushing me away.

I hated that I didn’t understand why.

After trying and failing to read for nearly an hour, I put the book down and stood. I stretched until my back popped and paced the small space of my cabin. My thoughts twisted in my mind, confused, hurt, furious.

How could he say those things after everything we’d had? Not only in the past, but now, too. The intimacy, the connection—it had all felt so real. And now it looked like it was just some kind of cruel joke.

My blood boiled, and I preferred it. Anger, I understood. Anger propelled me forward, where pain only weighed me down.

How dare he push me away! How dare he tell me he didn’t care!

What an asshole! He’d taken my heart and stomped on it. The worst was, I’d let him. Not the last time, but this time, I’d known what he was like.

I’d known and still fallen for it! For him.

Deep down, a small voice screamed at me that it wasn’t real. That I couldn’t believe what he’d said to me.

The way he had held me, the gentleness in his touch—those weren’t the actions of someone who didn’t care.

When it felt like I was going to spontaneously combust, I decided to go see him. I needed answers. I needed to understand why he was doing this.

I headed for the door, ready to march up that mountain and demand the truth.

I reached for the handle, but there was a knock. I stepped back, suddenly scared. What if…?

But Jethro wouldn’t knock. He would barge in, guns blazing.

I opened the door, slowly, and peeked around it.

And there he was in all his handsome glory, wild and rugged. Stubble on his chin, hair a mess like he’d spent all day tugging at it, his eyes filled with something I didn’t understand.

“Tanner,” I breathed, my heart racing. “What are you doing here?”

He ran a hand through his hair, looking torn. “I couldn’t stay away.”

He took a step forward, cupping my face in his hands, and kissed me.

Fire coursed through my body the moment our lips touched, and I moaned. He lit me up, my body responding to him, as if he was the switch that brought me to life, and I threw my arms around his thick waist.

He walked us into the cabin. I stumbled, but he held onto me, and I didn’t fall. He kicked the door shut, and we were alone, locked on.

Tanner’s kiss was urgent. His tongue in my mouth claimed me, my breathing shallow and erratic. I clumsily pushed his jacket off his shoulders and reached under his shirt. I scraped my nails over his sides, and he groaned at the feel of my nails grazing his ribs, tickling and turning him on in one go.

I traced the packs of his abs, perfectly chiseled, and felt his pecks. His hands were in my hair, on my shoulders, tugging at my clothes.

I slid my hands down his body, and he shuddered. My fingers found his belt; I unbuckled it, opening his pants.

His eyes were hot on mine, the look he gave me hungry and full of desire.

He was hard.

I reached into his pants and wrapped my fingers around his shaft, and Tanner growled. I pumped my hand up and down his cock; he slid his hands onto my breasts, kneading, massaging, touching me. The desire for him to undress me, cover every inch of my body with his hands, his mouth, surged through me.

But not yet.

I wanted to feel him, taste him. He throbbed in my hand, and there wasn’t enough space to move, my motions pushing against the material of his pants. I let go of him for just a second and tugged his pants down, exposing him. He was thick and hard and ready for me, the thick head slick with his need. I ran my thumb over it, coating the head, and Tanner moaned.

I dropped to my knees, running my hands down his legs, and took him into my mouth. He hissed, his cock twitching on my tongue. I licked and sucked and pumped him, making him moan and gasp. He pushed his fingers into my hair, not pulling or guiding but holding onto me.

Tanner’s breath became a pant, and I sucked harder. He tasted so good, clean and masculine, and the scent of him, so strong and intense, turned me on.

He rocked his hips, pushing further into my mouth. He was close. I could tell by his breathing, by the way his fingers curled into fists in my hair. I moved faster, wanting to bring him the pleasure he’d given me the night before, wanting to feel him lose himself.

“Oh fuck, Rae,” he groaned. But he pulled out, slipping out of my mouth.

“Not yet,” he gasped. “Not yet.”

He took my hand, pulled me up, kissed me again. His tongue was in my mouth, tasting me, and he pulled me tightly against him. His cock grinded against my stomach, and his hand slid onto my breast. The other tugged up my shirt.

He walked me backward to the bed, and I sat down on the mattress. Tanner pulled up my shirt, breaking the kiss just for the few seconds it took to undress me, and then kissed me again. His fingers popped open the clasp on my bra, and he peeled it off.

His eyes roamed over my body, lips slightly parted. The intensity of his gaze darkened, full of fire.

I lifted my ass, and he pushed down my jeans, my panties, leaving me naked. Breathing hard, I watched him study my body, his gaze a physical touch.

His head dropped, lips pressing against my neck, my collarbone, moving down to my breasts, cupping them in his hands as his tongue flicked over one nipple, then the other. The sensation of his mouth sucking hard, teeth grazing, made me cry out.

My body trembled with need, dripping wet, as he gave me what I craved.

He continued, kissing his way down my stomach, parting my legs. Teeth nipped at the inside of my thighs, paired with soft kisses and licks. When his tongue traced from the bottom of my slit to the top, I moaned loudly, and he chuckled.

“I’ve been thinking about this,” he whispered.

He slipped his fingers inside me, and his tongue flicked over my clit. The double assault had me gasping and moaning and begging for more.

The pressure was building, the release coiling inside me. My orgasm was so close, right there. Then he stopped.

“No,” I cried out, desperate.

“I want you.”

I nodded, wordlessly. I watched as he pulled away, rolled a condom over his length, moved back over me. He lifted one of my legs over his shoulder, positioning himself at my entrance. He slid inside, and I cried out. He was so deep, stretching me.

He moved slowly, his eyes never leaving mine. His cock was big, and I felt full, my body stretching to accommodate him.

“You’re so wet,” he whispered.

I moaned.

He fucked me, thrusting into me. My body tensed. The pleasure surged, higher and higher; I cried out when the pressure burst. My body tightened as the orgasm ripped through me, almost violent in its intensity.

Tanner groaned, slowing down.

“Fuck it, Rae, you’re going to make me come before I’m done with you.”

I gasped, moaning in response, unable to think about anything other than the pleasure Tanner brought on. It was just me and him, and nothing else mattered. He was here, making me feel exactly what he always had, showing me his words had meant nothing.

As the waves of my orgasm subsided, he gently lowered my leg, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. With his hands planted on either side of my head, his muscular arms and shoulders bulged, as he began to buck his hips. Each slow, deliberate thrust teased me, coaxing me slowly toward another orgasm.

He hit all the right spots, and his motion made me ache for another release.

“Tanner,” I moaned.

“What?” His eyes were on mine, a mischievous grin stretching over his features.

“Please,” I begged. My orgasm was on the edge, but with this pace, he wouldn’t let me topple over.

He chuckled at my begging and lowered his body so that he rested on his elbows, the length of his body pressing me into the mattress. He picked up his pace, his cock drilling into me harder and faster. I cried out, and it didn’t take long for me to come again.

“Oh God, oh God,” I chanted, the tension snapping and pleasure rolling through me.

When I came down a second time, Tanner’s face was a picture of satisfaction.

“I love it when you do that,” he said in a deep voice.

“You make me do that,” I gasped.

He kissed me in reply, his tongue sliding into my mouth.

Holding me tightly, his hand wriggled under my hips, and then he flipped us around, pulling me on top of him so he was on his back. I yelped, but his strength kept me in place, his cock buried deep inside me.

From this new angle, he pushed even deeper, making me gasp and shudder around him. His eyes, dark with need, locked onto mine as I leaned my hands on his perfectly muscular chest.

I bucked my hips slowly, testing the feel of him inside me, and then I rode him. His face contorted with pleasure, his muscles tensing as I moved.

“Oh, yes,” he breathed. “Ride me.”

He was a dirty talker, and it turned me on. I moved faster, rocking my hips, bracing myself on his chest. The pressure inside me grew with my clit rubbing against his pubic bone. I moaned and gasped, the waves of pleasure building again.

“Rae,” Tanner gasped. “I’m not going to last much longer.”

I shook my head, gasping. “It’s okay,” I moaned.

“But I want to make you come again.”

“Then don’t stop.”

He gripped my hips, pressing me down, urging me to keep up the pace, his hips jerking against mine. The frantic, needy thrusts of his hard cock drove us both toward the edge.

The wave crashed through me, the pressure exploding.

“Oh, God,” I cried out, collapsing onto his chest.

He moaned, and his body tensed under mine. We clung to each other, arms wrapped tightly, both of us breathing hard.

My heart hammered in my chest; my limbs felt like jelly as his cock pulsed inside me, my body tightening around him in the same rhythm.

We rode the wave of pleasure together, and it took a long time to subside.

Finally, slowly, we came down from our sexual high, and I lay on his chest, trying to catch my breath. His heartbeat hammered against my cheek, and he continued to hold me close. His cock, hard at first, slowly softened inside me, and we lay together for a long, long time.

Finally, he slipped out of me.

I rolled off him as he stood and walked to the small bathroom in the room. When he came back, he climbed back into bed, wrapping an arm around my shoulders, pulling me onto his chest.

Our breathing evened out, becoming deeper and more rhythmic.

“You can’t leave again,” I said, the words slipping out.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Tanner tightened his arm around me.

I wanted to ask him to promise, but I was too scared to. No matter how good things were, it was still a fact of life that promises could be broken.