22. Eva

Thoughts swirled around in my head as I placed glass baubles on the tree Tanner had dragged back from the forest. It was almost touching the ceiling, and I struggled to reach the higher branches, but Silas was way taller than me and he just laughed when he saw me pouting.

"You need to buy a step-ladder," I grumbled.

"I don't need one, short stuff," he chuckled, grabbing the glitter ball out of my hand and hooking it on a branch way past my head. I pouted some more and handed him the gold star to go on the top of the tree.

"It's not fair. I hate being vertically challenged."

"Well, I like you being all small and cute," he winked, and I blushed for the 47 millionth time this week.

Having pale skin was a nightmare. My face broadcast every single embarrassing thought almost instantly. Such as the extremely inappropriate image of Silas, naked in the forest clearing, that had just popped into my head.

"Coffee anyone?" Cole's voice cut through my head and the image of a naked and extremely buff Silas vanished. Thank god. I could not afford to have thoughts like that. Silas was my protector, not a romantic prospect.

None of them were.

Not even Tanner, even if he loved winding me up with his heated glances and wandering hands when he'd had a few too many drinks. I wasn't thinking about that, though. No doubt he was just frustrated with me being here. He probably missed watching porn on the 72-inch TV hanging on the living room wall.

"Yes, please." I beamed at Cole, anxious to clear my head. Pulling some more ornaments from the box, I arranged them on the tree. "It looks so pretty." My words were mostly to myself, but Silas smiled.

"We don't usually bother with a tree," he admitted. "Tanner prefers to drink himself into a coma over the holiday and Cole and I just hang out keeping an eye on him until he comes through the other side with a hangover."

"Why would he do that?" It was obvious, even to me, that Tanner had some issues. Nobody was that grumpy without a reason. They had to be bad though, if he needed alcohol to get him through the holidays.

He sighed. "Not my story to tell, sugar, but the gist of it is that something bad happened at Christmas when we were all in our teens and it affected him."

"Did he lose someone he loved?"

Silas nodded, tight-lipped, and then turned away, effectively ending the conversation. Knowing Tanner had lost someone he cared about made me sad. It was no wonder he lashed out in the way he did. He must have internalized the pain and let it fester for years.

I understood that pain. I'd lived with it too.

My grandmother had been the only constant in my early childhood. She filled in the gaps left behind by the mother who'd walked out on me when I was a baby. Gran had made sure I ate enough and used her meager assistance money to buy things I needed. After she'd died when I was 7, life had gotten inexorably worse.

I still missed her sweet smiles and the way she pushed cookies into my hand when Dad collected me from her trailer. Knowing this about Tanner softened how I felt about him. He was hurting, too. I was not willing to overlook all the mean things he'd said, but I was willing to forgive him.

He was still an asshole, though.

A sentiment reinforced by the way he sneered at the decorated tree when he walked in thirty minutes later, brushing the snow away from his black hair.

"There are a few baubles left if you want to add some?" I suggested, deciding to be the bigger person.

"Why would I care about a stupid tree?" He laughed derisively. The venom in his voice cut through me, but I maintained a neutral expression on my face.

"I just thought it would be good to make some fresh memories, so you could look back and think of Christmas as fun, not sad."

The look of fury on his face told me I'd made a massive mistake. He went from dismissive to outright murderous in a heartbeat. Before I could react, he was in front of me with his hand around my throat. I tried to suck in some oxygen, but his grip was too tight. Panic flared and my body went limp as my freeze response kicked in.

"How dare you reference something you know nothing about! I don't need your fucking sympathy, and I sure as fuck don't need you feeling sorry for me," he snarled, just as Silas walked back in with two cups of coffee.

"Leave her the fuck alone!" he roared, dropping the cups. Hot coffee splashed all over the hardwood floor and I inwardly cringed at the mess. Tanner's eyes were pure black as he loomed over me, but his grip loosened enough that I could suck in some air.

The panic receded, and I calmed. I should have been scared. When enraged, Tanner was terrifying. But now I'd had a chance to look at him - really look - it wasn't anger I saw, it was pain.

Tanner was hurting, and he didn't know how to handle the pain.

"It's OK," I whispered.

There was a brief second when something softened in his gaze. Then he let me go, knocked aside by Silas. The two men fell to the floor in a tangle of limbs, Silas doing his best to kill Tanner, who wasn't fighting back.

"Stop!" I screamed. "Stop hurting him, Silas!"

Silas looked up mid-punch, confused. "He tried to kill you!"

"No, he wasn't, he was just…never mind." I shook my head and wiped a stray tear away. "Please, let him up, I'm fine."

I could tell Silas was angry as hell, but he did as I asked. Both of them had cut lips and Tanner's eye had begun to swell.

"You touch her like that again and I'll fucking end you, brother or not," Silas growled.

Tanner didn't reply. He just shook himself and nodded, the anger gone. I watched as he limped away, heading toward the laundry room.

"Are you OK, sugar?" Silas touched the skin around my throat and then snarled. I had a feeling there would be bruises forming there already because swallowing was painful.

"I'm fine, honestly." There were puddles of coffee cooling around the table and shards of shattered mug everywhere. What a mess. "We need to clean this up before Cole gets back from the woodshed. He'll have a fit if he sees it."

Silas looked at me for a few long moments, his jaw tense and his eyes pure gold. I knew from what they'd told me that this meant his wolf was trying to break free and he needed to calm down.

"Honestly, I'm fine. Stop worrying. I've been through far worse than Tanner losing his shit because of something I said."

"It's a challenge because seeing you hurt, and imagining all the things that have happened to you in the past, makes me angry enough to kill him and anyone else who's hurt you," Silas said through gritted teeth. "I care about you, Eva."

The anguish in his eyes tore me apart. Unsolicited touch was usually something I actively avoided because it made me uncomfortable, but I didn't protest when Silas drew me into his arms.

He held me close, and I inhaled the scent of him: damp pine needles after a rainstorm with a hint of citrus. It was intoxicating. I lifted my head to thank him for leaping to my rescue, but before I could say anything, his lips found mine.

Silas's kiss was soft at first, like he was testing whether I would allow it, but when I relaxed into him, it quickly deepened. A hand came up to cup my the back of my head while the other pulled me against his hard chest. Everything about him was hard, not just his chest, and a wave of heat swept through my body.

This was my first ever kiss. For all Tanner's late night games, he'd not yet kissed me. I guessed it was because kissing was intimate and Tanner was afraid of intimacy.

Silas was different. He poured his heart and soul into the kiss, and by the time he pulled back, I was under no illusion of how he felt about me.

"I want you, Eva," he whispered as he caught my bottom lip between his sharp teeth. The hand cupping the back of my neck slid down my back and gripped my ass. He pulled me firmly into the cradle of his thighs, his erection throbbing against my belly. "But I'm willing to wait. Take as long as you need because I'm not going anywhere, sugar."

My whole body felt feverish and my core ached with a need to be filled.

"Silas, this is—"

"What the fuck happened in here?" Cole spat as he surveyed the mess all over the floor. Then he looked at the two of us locked in an embrace and frowned. "Would someone like to explain what I missed while I was outside?"

I bit my lip as I gazed at his bare chest and the way the sweats he'd pulled on earlier hugged his body. God, I was so screwed. Here I was, reeling from my first kiss, and now I was ogling Cole as well.

From the way a smug grin briefly lightened his expression, Cole hadn't missed me blatantly checking him out, but when he saw the bruising around my neck, he looked furious.

"Silas, you better fucking explain why Eva is bruised!"

"It's fine, I'm OK," I said, trying to calm things.

"No, it's not fucking fine!" He vibrated with anger, his gaze flicking between me and Silas.

"Tanner lost his shit but Eva is alright. She defused the situation, and he's gone. Most likely to run off his aggression in the forest."

"He better stay away for a fucking long time." Cole's fury hadn't faded one bit and anxiety flared. I didn't want either of them to kill Tanner.

It wasn't his fault; it was mine for not keeping my mouth shut. I'd not make that mistake again. Not until he was ready to talk.