24. Asif

HMM ABOUT A FEW DAYS LATER…

Treading down the hallway, I twisted the knob on the bedroom door of the apartment and entered, before walking up on the side of the bed.

“Get up.” I shook Milan lightly, making her stir. Snatching the covers off and letting the cold air of the apartment hit her ass, I said, “Get yo’ ass up.”

Finally, she opened her eyes and peered up at me. Once my face registered in her big ass head, she sat up abruptly, smoothing her hair back and wiping her face.

“Sif, baby, what are you doing here? Why didn’t you let me know you were coming?”

“Didn’t know I was coming. I had some free time, so I swung by. Get dressed so we can go.” I sat down on the edge of her bed.

“Go where?”

“Doctor so they can give you an official pregnancy test and all that other shit. Depending on how far along you are, we can get the DNA done too while we there.”

“I already sent you a test. Did you not get my text?” She frowned.

“I did, but I wanna double-check and take you to my people to confirm the shit. Come on. They squeezed a nigga in, so we ain’t got much time.” I patted the bed.

“No, I’m not going.” She shook her head. “This is all a part of your fucking plan so you can take me to that doctor and they tell you some shit like you’re not the father or I’m lying or something.”

Rising back to my feet, I replied, collectedly, “Get up, get dressed, and bring yo’ ass on.”

“No—” She shut up when I lifted my shirt to show off the gun on my waist.

“If you don’t want this little fluffy ass bedroom to be a crime scene in a few weeks and then eventually a cold case, get yo’ ass up and come on, Milan. Last time I’m gon’ tell you.” I kept my cool as her eyes roved over my heat.

Frowning, she tossed the covers from her lap and hopped down off the bed, stomping around while gathering her toiletries like a child while I descended back onto the edge of the bed, watching.

She started sniffling, making sure I could hear that her ass was crying, but I ignored the shit, busying myself with the emails and messages I had on my phone, responding to Anastazia first.

Usually, I would’ve just handled this shit today and gone on about my business, but I was realizing my woman liked to be privy to shit. I also realized females were messy as fuck, and the simplest shit could look like some other shit if presented by the wrong muthafucka. By saying that, it would be nothing for one of these bitches to peep Milan and I together, and that shit get back to Anastazia. Because of that, I let her know the agenda as soon as it hit me this afternoon that I had some open time.

I wasn’t used to checking in, but it was a part of the game if I wanted to be in a relationship. Not to mention, if I saw Anastazia riding around with another nigga, period—I don’t give a fuck what it was for—there would be a murder. I had to give the same respect I wanted regardless of my intentions, which was some new shit I’d learned.

Not long after Milan went into the bathroom, she returned butt ass naked, making sure to dress in certain angles where I could see more than I should have.

“You can look; she won’t know.” She scoffed.

“Same shit I don’ seen plenty of times. After a while of showing off the same shit, the draw ain’t the same, love. Get some new tricks.”

She stared at me like she wanted to jump across the room and maul me, so I stared back like I dared her muthafuckin’ ass to.

Finally, she was dressed, and we were leaving her building. As soon as we were in my whip and within moving traffic, she was back to sniffling.

“I don’t know why you’re doing this to me like you weren’t the only man I’ve been with.” She sniveled. I felt her glance at me, but I kept my eyes on the road. “I love you.”

“Loving me is more than running behind me and letting me fuck.”

“What else am I supposed to do, Asif? You don’t talk to me, ever. Even when I try I get nothing from you. Even when we have sex, you keep me at arm’s length. I can’t kiss you, look in your eyes, nothing. Everything is so detached with you! I do whatever you allow me to do, so it’s not my fault that only involves sex! Then you have the nerve to deny my baby.” She shook her head, crying, but staring at my side profile, waiting for a reply she was never gon’ get. When she realized that fact, she just sucked her teeth and shook her head some more.

The rest of the ride was quiet, thankfully, only the sounds of Dom Kennedy playing in the background. As soon as we got there, I checked in and was immediately taken to the back for a private room with Milan.

“So, depending on the test, we can see about the DNA before you give birth. That way there won’t be any questions or drama. I will do what I need to do as a father, starting from the day I get the results,” I explained.

Milan rolled her eyes at me, with no response, just as the doctor entered the room.

“Hi, I’m Dr. Frankel,” she said to Milan after shaking my hand. I already knew her because she was in the St. Thomas Financial network.

“Nice to meet you. I hope this test isn’t done with pee, because I don’t have to pee,” Milan said.

“Well, we do typically use urine but?—”

“She good; she can pee.” I interjected, keeping my eyes on Milan, who sighed before nodding.

Dr. Frankel explained everything to her stupid ass and then gave her the cup. Milan returned half an hour later, clearly stalling, because it didn’t take that fucking long to piss. They’d even given her ass some water to get shit going.

“I have somewhere to be, Asif,” she said as soon as she sat back down on the examination table.

“Fuck you so nervous for?” I questioned, watching her run her hands up and down her jeans.

“I’m not. I just have plans, nigga. This was not scheduled into my fucking day.”

“Aye, watch yo’ tone, Milan. That disrespect shit ain’t gon’ keep getting a fucking pass. Don’t forget who the fuck you talking to.” I eyed her, watching her cower physically. “She told you it wouldn’t be long after you supplied the fucking urine. After that, we get some information, and you can go on about yo’ fucking day .”

“Yeah, I bet I can because you don’t care what happens to me, only Anastazia . I could get hit by a train when I leave here, and you would be just fine, huh?” Again, I declined to respond to Milan’s bullshit attempts to gain sympathy. “Did you ever care about me, or was I just a hole?” The waterworks started up again. “I hate you. I hate you so much.” She shook her head repeatedly. “I don’t know how I could love somebody who treats me like this.”

“I don’t do nothing to you, Milan,” I said dryly. “I ain’t never pretended with you. I always kept shit real and never made it seem like it was more than it was between us.” I felt like a broken record, exhaust all throughout my fucking tone.

“Look how emotionless you are. Something is wrong with you. It’s not me, it’s you.” I just nodded, not giving a fuck nor about to feed into her crazy ass talk. “I should’ve fucked with one of your brothers. They’re not like you. They have emotions and care about women.”

“Maybe you should, because only woman I care about is my mama, Banks, Sophie, and Anastazia.”

Milan was on her feet, charging toward a nigga before I could even finish saying my girl’s name. Standing myself and towering over her, I gripped her wrists to stop her from making one of the worst mistakes of her sad ass life.

Dr. Frankel knocked and walked in, eyes bouncing between us seconds before I let Milan’s wrists go.

“Sorry,” Dr. Frankel said.

“You good,” I said as Milan backed off, tearing up. “You got some answers for me?” I questioned.

“Yes, so it appears that the pregnancy test came back negative, Miss Fellows. How long ago?—”

“That is a fucking lie!” Milan roared, looking from me then back to Dr. Frankel repeatedly as I chuckled humorlessly. “I took several tests, and they were all positive! Show her the photo, Asif!”

“I understand.” Dr. Frankel nodded. “We tested your urine a few times, and they were all negative. When did you take your first test?” She clicked the button on her pen, preparing to write down the information Milan gave her.

Milan shook her head, tears skiing down her cheeks before she looked at me, pointing. “I knew you would do this. I knew you would bring me here and they would back you up, telling me some shit that’s not true and making me look crazy.”

“Miss Fellows, that is not true. This is a reputable facility, and while we do work for Mr. St. Thomas’s institution, we do not falsify results or engage in schemes,” Dr. Frankel explained as I kept my eyes pinned on Milan, hands in my pockets so I wouldn’t shake her up like a rag doll in front of this esteemed ass doctor.

“Thanks again, Dr. Frankel.” I reached to shake her hand after taking the paper with the results to fold and put in my pocket. I then went for the door.

I wasn’t even in the hallway for a second before I heard Milan following behind me.

“Asif! Asif, that test is a lie, baby, I swear!” she yelled, rushing after me as I kept it pushing out the doctor’s office and into the parking lot.

“You lying, Milan.” I kept my cool, not raising my voice, despite my irritation.

I wasn’t exactly angry, because I was 99 percent sure Milan’s ass was lying about being pregnant by me, but I at least figured her ass was pregnant, just by another nigga. The fact that she had an empty womb and wasted my fucking time like this was wild. But at least I knew.

“Fine! You’re gonna be sick when you see how much bigger I’ve gotten in the upcoming months, knowing you neglected your responsibilities!”

Thank God this lot was virtually empty.

“Only reason you’d be bigger is because of all them damn wings and seafood boils you can’t stop fucking eating.”

“Fuck you, nigga!”

“You never will again,” I retorted.

She ran and hopped in front of me, cutting off my path with a tear-stained face.

Gripping my forearms as she peered up into my eyes, she said in a much calmer tone, “Asif, what have I done to make you not wanna be with me. Okay, I know what you said before, but I don’t do that shit no more.” She sobbed.

“I’m not having this conversation for the hundredth time.”

“I try with you, but you don’t open up or trust me, and then I told you I don’t be looking for attention from other niggas no more! What else? Just tell me what else?” she begged.

Lowering my voice, I looked down into her face and asked, “Why the fuck would I trust you when you got bitches I ain’t so much as had a conversation with talking about I got mommy issues?”

No one outside of my immediate family knew the situation with my mother. They knew I was Prime’s son and that either Lisara was my mother or that my mama was some under the radar woman my pops had gotten pregnant back in the day.

I kept my personal life separate from this street shit and only divulged to muthafuckas what I wanted them to know. Therefore, only way Bianni would have an inkling about me and moms would be because of Milan. I didn’t tell Milan shit, but I’d took her around the family, and shit had been tossed out here and there, so she was able to come to her own conclusion.

“Baby, I am sorry about that, okay? I didn’t mean to tell her. I didn’t tell her on purpose. It just slipped out when I was venting to them about us, okay? I would never tell anything you told me in confidence.”

“But you did. You been around me enough to know I ain’t a nigga who want people in my personal, yet you was so busy venting, my shit slipped from ya fucking lips. Even worse, you said it in front of a bitch who don’t even fuck with you like that and got a big ass mouth. She lucky I ain’t drop her ass right where she stood, and that was only because my woman was right there. Tell that funky ass bitch to thank Anastazia if she ever gets the muthafuckin’ chance.” I stepped around a crying Milan.

“Please, Asif, what do I have to do to get you to forgive me. I will never do no shit like that again!” She reached for my hand, but I abruptly snatched that shit.

“Find yo’ own fucking way home. You not pregnant no fucking way.” I typed a message on my phone as I spoke, tuning out whatever the fuck Milan was saying at this point.

Me: Told you.

I attached a photo of the results and sent the shit to Anastazia.

Wifey: She’s not even pregnant? I thought you just weren’t the father, I didn’t think the whole thing was a hoax.

Shaking my head because those were my exact thoughts, I slipped into my car and sped off, passing Milan’s ass as she ranted on her phone.

Sinking into my couch, I put the glass of Hennessy to my lips as I listened to the elevator to my penthouse ding, letting me know my father was here. I kept my eyes on the scenery outside of my floor-to-ceiling windows as I listened to him round the back of the couch to come sit beside me.

“Want a drink?” I offered. “I mean non-alcoholic,” I added when he paused.

“Water is fine.” He attempted to read my eyes before I got up to grab him a water bottle and handed it off. “This shit is in a box?”

“Yeah.” I took a sip of mine. “Anastazia got this shit. I just give her the money, and she buys the groceries.”

“It’s crazy, but that shit is nice, huh?” I could hear the humor in his voice as I nodded.

“I ain’t trying to be rude, Pop, but I ain’t invite you over here to kick the shit.” I looked his way. “I want you to keep it a buck with me. I get I was a child and don’t need to know every-fucking-thing, but either you gon’ tell me everything or nothing. I don’t want part of the truth. I don’t like being made a fool of, and I don’t like thinking I know all of some shit when I don’t,” I explained as respectfully as I could.

He nodded, gulping some of his water before running his hand down his face.

“First off, I apologize for only divulging part of the story. That wasn’t right. Secondly, I wasn’t fucking Tangie the whole time, Sif. By the time I started doing that, I had checked out of the relationship with ya mother. I knew there was no salvaging the shit, and therefore, breaking codes was of no concern to me.”

“Aight.” I nodded. “Why not just leave her ass then, Pop?” I chuckled mirthlessly. “Y’all were clearly both miserable.”

“In hindsight,” he looked on at the fireplace, “I should’ve left her, but I felt indebted to her. I’m big on loyalty, you know that, and I raised you to be the same fucking way. She did some shit for me that I can’t say any other woman would have, excluding Lisara. I didn’t know women like Lisara existed at that time.” He smirked at the thought of his wife. “But yeah, you understand this better now, but when you rich, and you that nigga, for lack of a better word, it’s hard to trust a lot of women’s intentions with you. And I felt like Nori had proven herself to me by staying with me, and leaving her felt like some dog ass shit back then. Felt like some shit a nigga I didn’t rock with would do. Type to let a woman hold you down just to leave her when you back on.

“It’s easy to stick by a nigga when he spoiling you, fucking you good, treating you good, and got you laid up in a mansion, but harder to do when he ain’t that nice, he not fucking you, he weak, and basically a shell of his former self. Then she gave me you, something I didn’t think I would get to experience due to my sickness, and all of that just kept me pinned in place.”

I nodded, regarding him for a moment.

“I admire that type of loyalty, but I definitely couldn’t have done it. I’m all for working on shit, and I’m always down to chase my woman if she feel like running, but that’s not the same. I can’t put my all into a relationship and stick around just for the fuck of it. Not unless I fucked our shit up, and she got the right to treat me like shit. Then go ’head, baby. Every time I get on my knees to beg, wipe ya fucking feet off on a nigga, and I’ll keep begging until I can’t.”

He chuckled.

“Well, you always want ya kids to do better and be better, so trust me, a nigga is happy you ain’t gon’ move how I moved if faced with some shit like that.”

“You ever think maybe she did that shit, held you down, because she knew you’d feel indebted?”

His eyes squinted as if he were thinking before he shrugged.

“Shit, maybe she did. I never thought about it like that. I could’ve died though, so I don’t know.”

“Yeah, but she would win either way. If you lived, you would always feel like you owed her some shit, and if you died, everything you owned would be left to the baby she had for you, which would essentially be her shit.”

I watched my father as he pondered for a moment like it was some shit he’d never thought about, and clearly, it wasn’t.

“No wonder you so fucking suspicious of everybody, you smart, young nigga,” he said before we laughed. “Real shit though.”

“I appreciate you telling me this shit, though, just wish you had told me everything up front, but we good. Look at you different.”

“Different how?” He frowned.

“Not in a bad way, necessarily, old man. I just… all this time, I felt like you was so perfect in that aspect, but it’s good to know you got some flaws too. Make you not so hard to live up to.”

“Well, you don’ surpassed me. I got the son I wanted and way fucking more.”

“Remember you said that shit.” I took a sip of my Hennessy. “’Cause you cheat on Ma and I’m gon’ have to put a bullet in you.”

“If hell froze over and I did do that dumb shit, I’d hand you the gun my-fucking-self.” He rose. “I gotta pee, young nigga.”

“Pick any bathroom. Stazi and the baby in my bedroom.” I pulled out my ringing phone.

“So when they fall asleep in yo’ bed, what you do?” he inquired.

“Take my ass to sleep on this fucking couch,” I replied, and he shook his head, non-verbally stating that a nigga had it bad. “And you just had a few sips, you already gotta pee?”

“Shut yo’ ass up,” my pops retorted, walking off and making me laugh as I answered the phone.

“’Sup, Low?” I frowned.

“Got word somebody seen that nigga Grady over by Mary Hills Rehabilitation Center,” he said.

“Rehabilitation center.” I frowned, thinking. “Fuck would he be around a rehabilitation center for? I know he got shot, but that nigga Grady ain’t going to no physical therapy for that shit. Nigga probably treated the wound himself.”

“My thoughts exactly. I been staking the place out, but nothing so far.”

I nodded. “Let me think and get back to you,” I said, peeping that my pops was returning.

“Aight.”

The fuck?