Chapter 7

7

KACIE

B randon had fully satisfied me. Now it was his turn.

At least, that was how I assumed it worked. In my mind, I pictured orgasms happening at the same time, usually during the act itself. But my college friends had informed me that wasn’t always how it went, and that I should look for a man who made sure I was fully satisfied before he got off.

Even before this, I’d known Brandon would be that type of guy.

As he moved his hand away from my clit, I slid my hand off him as well. Then I stood, barely bothered by the fact that I was showing my body to him. I’d become comfortable with him, but there was still that small part of me that was new to all this. In time, I’d get comfortable with it, I was sure.

When Brandon looked at me, his heated stare warmed me from head to toe. This guy wanted me, and knowing that made me feel like the luckiest woman on Earth.

My fantasy from earlier flashed through my head. “Squeeze your legs together,” I commanded.

His reaction told me he liked being bossed around—in this context, anyway. His eyes widened, and his mouth tugged up a little at the corners in the hint of a smile.

I could be bossy. That was one thing people said about me. If he liked that, there was plenty more where that came from.

He did exactly as I said, and then gestured for me to come forward. He wanted me to straddle him, but I had a different kind of straddling in mind.

“Pull me back toward you,” I said.

I turned and spread my legs, then made a very awkward attempt at backing onto his lap. I almost slipped several times, and without his hands on my hips, I definitely would have fallen and probably suffered a pretty bad head bump. In the end, it was clearly something that wouldn’t work.

“New plan,” I said, scooting back toward his knees. He helped me untangle myself from him, and then I turned to face him. “Something we’ll have to try later, though. Maybe on the ski lift.”

His stare darkened a little, and I knew what was going through his head. It wasn’t the fantasy itself that he liked as much as the fact that I’d had one about him in the first place.

“Definitely bookmarking that one for later,” he said. “But I have a better idea. Why don’t you move over to that ledge, put your hands on it, and bend forward?”

Oh, fuck. He could get bossy in bed too. And who knew my body would respond to it the way it did?

A fresh wave of heat rushed to my pussy as I headed over to the side of the hot tub closest to the chair and did exactly what he’d ordered me to do.

Several long seconds passed before I looked back over my shoulder to see that he hadn’t budged from where we’d been sitting. He was standing, but he hadn’t taken a step in this direction.

“I don’t have protection,” he said. “Shit.”

I turned to face him. “It’s okay. I’m on the pill. Yet another peer pressure thing.”

Relief relaxed his tense features. “A dare?”

I shook my head. “No. They kept urging me to go to the doctor, even though I didn’t plan to be sexually active anytime soon. The doctor suggested I get started on birth control. You know, to make things regular.”

Why was I telling him all this? Hardly good foreplay. I clamped my lips shut before I could spoil the mood.

But he didn’t seem all that bothered by it. He was walking toward me, his hand gripping his massive erection. I turned back around to resume my previous position.

“Spread those legs a little wider, hon,” he said.

Hon. That was the second time he’d used that term of endearment with me. I liked that too. I was learning all kinds of things that turned me on today.

I sucked in a breath and braced myself. This was definitely going to hurt.

“I’m going to let you control things,” he said.

Me? I didn’t even know what I was doing. But then it hit me why he’d said that.

“It’s going to hurt,” I said.

“Exactly.”

I felt him move in closer. When his tip finally probed my entrance, I let out a sigh. I’d been a little too vocal before when I was having my first-ever orgasm. I’d have to remind myself to keep quiet this time. But it felt so good.

He froze, obviously misinterpreting my sighs and tense stance. “Are you okay?”

“Perfect,” I said. “That feels good, actually.”

“Okay, move back on me. But only as far as you are comfortable going.”

I did exactly that and winced once he was inside me a couple of inches. It wasn’t that it hurt. It was just tight. So tight. The pain reminded me of trying to slide earrings into my ears when I hadn’t worn them in a while. Resistance, then a sharp pain that dulled over time.

I shifted my balance so that my left arm would hold me up, then I moved my right hand between my legs. That little nub was still swollen and so sensitive, it didn’t feel good at first. But I had a feeling that would change if I kept at it.

“Are you touching yourself?” he asked.

I nodded, but then realized he didn’t have a good look at my face right now and forced out the word, “Yes.”

I was going through a weird combination of sensations. A slight dull pain that occasionally sharpened until it took my breath, combined with a slow-growing warmth between my legs. I was so caught up in what my own touch was doing to my body, I didn’t realize I was moving deeper and deeper on him. The pain was still there, but it was being gradually overwhelmed by the pleasure.

“Oh fuck,” I said. “Keep going. Don’t stop.”

I realized even as I said those words that he wasn’t the one in control. It just felt good to say them. It felt right.

And then the pressure began building inside me again—a feeling that was already familiar, even though it was new to me. I bit my tongue to avoid crying out as once again the waves rolled over me, making it tough to breathe. Making it tough to even think.

I stilled, and he seemed to get my cue that I wanted him to take over. I needed to catch my breath.

He began moving faster and faster, not going any deeper than I’d taken him in before. The sound of water sloshing around threatened to get me going all over again, but it didn’t take long before he let out a grunt, then stilled, both of us going quiet. For what seemed like hours, the only sound in the room was the bubble of the hot tub jets and our own heavy breathing.

That was when fear set in.

Had I just given my innocence to someone who lived way up here in the mountains? What was my plan exactly? Give up my dreams of working on a marketing team in an office to move to the mountains where there were literally no marketing firms. Sure, I might be able to work remotely, but it wasn’t the same as showing up every day in an office and being part of something bigger. Could I give all that up?

The answer was yes. I would give all that up for love. But I had to know it was actually love. On my side, it sure seemed like it was. But was it too soon to know for sure?

“Holy damn,” he said, pulling out. “I need to sit down after that.”

I didn’t budge. I’d put both hands on the ledge after my orgasm and now had to will myself to remove them. I was gripping the side like it was a life raft.

When I was fully standing, I turned, managing to do a twist that put most of my body underwater by the time I was on the seat. And that was when I knew what was going on with my mixed-up brain.

I was afraid. My friends were right. I’d shied away from getting physically involved with a guy because I didn’t want to let someone get that close to me. If I did, I could get hurt.

“Oh, no,” he said. “You’re having second thoughts. Are you okay? Are you in pain? What can I do?”

His concern only made it worse. It showed he cared. I wasn’t used to that—to someone checking in on my feelings. Tears welled in my eyes. I willed them to go away, but they spilled down my cheeks as if in protest.

“I’m fine,” I said. “I just need a second to get myself together.”

He was staring at me now, and the look in his eyes told me he wasn’t going to let up anytime soon. Not when it came to making sure I was okay. I may as well open up to him.

“Oh fuck,” he said. “You’re crying. Christ. I’m sorry. Don’t. Shit.”

I shook my head. “It’s not you. I’m just scared. Terrified.”

“Of what?”

“That you’re going to hurt me.” I saw him about to protest, so I added, “Like everyone else in my life has hurt me.”

Was it hurt or disappointment? Either way, it could be put on me for expecting things from people. But I didn’t think it was too much to expect that my parents give me the same love and nurturing that my friends got from their parents. It wasn’t like my expectations were all that high.

“My dad’s a pretty successful financial advisor,” I told Brandon. “By the time I was in elementary school, he’d already moved us to one of the wealthiest areas of Charlotte. He knew how to invest, and he just kept getting richer and richer. I guess I was pretty lucky.

Brandon narrowed his eyes and shifted his head to the right a little. “But…?”

“But I didn’t have what a lot of my friends had. A warm home with two parents who asked me how my day went and cared about my growth. Mostly, they just wanted me to be quiet and stay out of the way. I’ve always had this ache, this need to find a family. I thought I’d found it with my college friends, but…” I laughed. “You see where that got me.”

“Having sex with a guy you just met in a hot tub?”

I shook my head. “It wasn’t like that. Not for me. I wouldn’t have done this if I didn’t feel an instant connection to you. I hope you feel the same.”

“I do. And I would never hurt you. I’d kick the ass of anyone who tried.”

Not only did I believe every word of that, his words went straight to my heart. I knew in that moment that I’d never have to worry about feeling unloved again. This guy would be the family I’d always hoped for.

And someday we’d have kids of our own that we’d lavish with attention. All the attention I’d been missing my entire life.