Chapter 43

“I’m fine,”I say. “Seriously, I’m fine. They’re just keeping me here until the doctor comes in to discharge me.”

Marci, June, and Belle are crowded around my hospital bed. Belle’s mascara is ruined, leaving dark streaks down her pale cheeks. Marci keeps walking back and forth in the room, lifting her hands and shaking them in front of her like she’s got her hands around someone’s neck. June sits on the edge of the bed, occasionally smoothing the pale green bedspread with her free hand, the other is holding mine.

“I can’t believe this happened,” June whispers. “I’m so sorry, Han.”

“I should never have fucking left you alone in that apartment.” Marci’s raging. She stops, throttles the air again, and glares around the room. “I should have locked the door behind me. I should have?—”

“This is not your fault,” I say.

“No,” Belle says, and hiccups around a sob. “This is Savage’s fault. It’s his fault. He brought this down on you.”

“That’s not fair,” I say. “He?—”

“He nearly killed that guy,” June says.

I gnaw on the inside of my cheek. Nothing can wipe away what happened yesterday. Every time I close my eyes, the events repeat in my mind. I’ve already talked to a therapist at the hospital, and I’m going to make a booking with a woman at a private practice in Heatstroke after I’m out of the hospital.

“He should be arrested for it,” Belle says. “For everything. I can’t believe?—”

“Guys, stop,” I say. “Savage had no idea that this dude would get out of prison and come after me. It’s not his fault. He saved me.” Even if he did act like he didn’t give a crap about me to do it. The least of my worries right now.

I’m in hospital because the doctor was worried about the baby. I fractured my hand on that dude’s face, so it’s in a cast, and though most women with POI who do fall pregnant aren’t high-risk, the OB GYN wants to be sure everything is fine before they let me go.

I’ll be walking out with a prescription for prenatal vitamins. And a conversation I need to have with Savage.

I can’t get the memory of what he did to that man out of my mind.

It was violent. Visceral.

His pupils were so large and so focused on my attacker, it was like his eyes had gone completely black. And then he… He did those things to him.

What’s even weirder is that I’m not sickened or afraid of him. Savage protected me. He did what he could to make sure that I survived that encounter.

“I don’t like it,” Belle whispers, and grabs a chair from next to the bed. She pulls it closer and sits down, fiddling with her hands in her lap. “I don’t like any of this Hannah. It should not have happened.”

“This is so fucked up,” Marci says. “And now you’re pregnant with his baby too. Like what the fuck.”

June and Belle already know. I told them when they first arrived at the hospital.

“Guys, relax. I love you all, but you have to trust that I have this under control.”

June strokes the back of my hand, reaches up and brushes my hair back from my face. “We know, honey. We’re all a little stressed out.”

“Han, I can’t imagine my life without you,” Belle warbles.

I smile at her. “Yeah, who will talk to you about how awful Leo is?”

She gives me a watery grin in return. “He’s not so bad.”

“That,” Marci says, pointing at her, “is something we’ll be discussing in length. But first, Hannah, what are you going to do about Savage? You can’t be with him, right? I mean, he’s clearly unhinged.”

“He saved me,” I say. “And you don’t know what he’s been through.”

A knock rattles the door, and a police officer, a female with her hair tied back in a glossy bun and kind eyes, smiles at me. “Miss Taylor?”

“Yeah?”

“My name is Detective Cortez with the Heatstroke Police Department. I’d like to talk to you about what happened at your apartment. Do you have a minute?”

I glance around at the girls. “Talk to me?”

“About Carter Savage. He’s currently in our custody. I’d like to go over what happened with you and get a couple facts straightened out.”

I sit up and nod to my friends. “Yeah. I can do that”

It’s beenthree days since the attack, and I can’t go home. It makes me uncomfortable, being in my apartment and remembering what happened. It doesn’t feel safe anymore, so I’ve been staying with my grandmother and my Dad.

I sit on the sofa in the living room, book in hand, my phone on the cushion next to me. Ganny’s making chocolate chip cookies. She’s been baking nonstop since I arrived, like she can keep me safe with sugar and carbs.

The girls are the only ones who know about the baby.

And Savage is going to be released from jail, all charges dropped, because he saved my life. The scumbag who attacked me isn’t so lucky. He’s severely wounded, and he’s going back to prison, but even still, I don’t feel particularly safe.

I let out a breath and try to focus on my book, but the words blur together on the page.

Carter saying he doesn’t care for me.

The pregnancy tests.

A knife against my throat.

Stop.

It’s difficult. I struggle to fall asleep at night, and when I do, I end up having nightmares about what happened.

A knock at the front door sends a shot of hot fear streaking through my veins.

“I’ll get it,” I call out.

“Are you sure, honey pie?” Ganny calls from the kitchen, sounding frail. “I can get that for you, honey, you don’t got to?—”

“I’ve got it, Ganny. Don’t worry about me.”

I head through to the hall and look through the peephole.

Carter is on the front porch.

Relief and fear thread through me, and I open the door right away.

“Princess.” His voice is as deep and comforting as ever. And his dark eyes are fixed on me, searching, like he thinks I’ll disappear.

There are dark circles under his eyes, and his beard is rougher than it was before. He’s wearing another of those shirts with the logo “Savage Self Defense” on the front, and his hair is damp, curling at the ears in that way I like.

Instead of fear, I’m filled with joy at the sight of him. But I have to measure my reaction. Savage told me he had nothing to offer from the start, and I’m not going to pressure him. He saved my life. He saved our child’s life without even knowing it.

“Hannah,” he says.

It takes everything in me not to step out onto the porch and into his arms. To kiss him.

“Carter,” I whisper. “Thank you.”

His gaze snaps from my lips to my eyes. “What?”

“Thank you for saving my life,” I say. “A second time.”

“You should never have been in that position in the first place,” he says. “That was my fault.”

“No, it’s not your fault,” I say. “You didn’t purposefully expose me to anything. You thought that guy was in prison, right? And it wasn’t my place to force you to tell me anything.”

“I endangered your life.”

“Stop.” I put up a hand. “I don’t want to hear this from you. You or anyone else. What happened, happened. We can’t go back now.”

“What I said was a lie.” Carter stares at me like I’m the only person in the world. “I said that so I could take him by surprise.”

“I don’t care,” I say. “I have—other things I’m concerned about right now.” I want to hug him so bad. I’m aching for him. But he doesn’t step in closer, and it scares me. How is he going to react about the pregnancy?

I have to tell him. Right now. I can’t wait a second longer.

I open my mouth to say the words.

“Princess,” he says, “I care so much about you it hurts. You’re going to leave town, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it, but I have to— Shit. I came here to tell you that I didn’t want you to go, but the truth is, I can’t imagine my life without you in it. Hannah, I want you to stay, but I’m going to let you go. I won’t be the man who stands in your way.”

“You want me to stay?” I ask.

“Yeah,” he says.

“Why?”

Savage’s throat works.

“Wait,” I say. “Don’t tell me.” I let out a breath. “There’s something I need to tell you first.” And then I take a step back to admit him into the house.