Chapter 17

Chapter

Seventeen

Every drop of warmth vanished from me, and ringing filled my ears as Venna's words looped around my throat like a noose. I turned to Fane, my lungs barely taking in oxygen, but as his gaze met mine, it soothed the turmoil and guilt raging through me.

"It's okay. You have to do this."

As I approached him, I bit my trembling lip. "I don't know if I'm capable of hurting you like that." Even when the Infernal Sol took my body out for a spin, Fane Maverick still had a hold on me. The amulet liked his darkness as much as I did.

"You have to try," Fane said. "Dylan's life is on the line, and I know you love that kid."

I hadn't known Dylan for long, but he'd accepted me for who I was, unlike most people. Hell, all of the Anders had welcomed me with open arms even when they found out I used to be a raven. I couldn't let any of them get hurt because of me .

"You can do this," Fane whispered as I neared him. "I'll make it through this. We both will."

Mykel scoffed as he leaned in the corner. "How sweet."

I ignored him and licked my lips, lifting my hand toward Fane's cheek. "I'm so sorry."

"I know."

A tear brimmed over as I broke the barrier and submitted to the wicked power throbbing in my center. Confusion twisted around those sinister tendrils filling my veins for what I was about to do to Fane.

Are you sure we should hurt him?

We have to.

Some of the guilt faded to the background as I laid my palm on his warm cheek, his stubble scraping my skin. I didn't have to look hard to find a fear because he didn't fight me.

But nothing could have prepared me for what I conjured as his torment.

As a familiar high demon appeared beside Fane, I stumbled back, my heart malfunctioning. Those eyes haunted my nightmares for the last few years, currently shining blue instead of impenetrable black holes.

"How could you, brother?" A sneer curled Warin's lips as loathing dripped from his words. "How could you be with that murderer? You're just as sick as everyone said you were."

The color drained from Fane's face as his dead brother paced in front of him, disgust twisting his features.

My heart shattered into a million pieces as Warin, my victim and Jayla's killer, berated Fane for being with me. A sob broke free even with the Infernal Sol pushing me into the backseat.

I don't want to do this to my beast. Let's stop .

We can't!

Venna and Mykel's laughter didn't drown out Fane's pleas. He tried to get Warin to understand the situation, but nothing would make the demon listen to reason.

"It's not what you think." Fane shook his head. " She's not what you think. And you killed those kids."

Warin scoffed. "Of course you'd take your whore's side. You're a pathetic piece of trash. You can't even do one thing right and avenge my death. Instead of killing her, you're fucking her."

Fane pulled on the chains, his veins popping and teeth mashing. "She had no choice."

I turned away as Venna swiped a tear under her eye from her hard laughter. "This is perfect. He must be hallucinating the brother she killed."

Mykel's teeth flashed as he grinned. "Of course he'd fear his own dead brother's wrath for bedding his killer."

I stumbled into a wall and slid down, unable to remain upright as Fane's torment continued. All the torture Venna and Mykel had inflicted over the months in Heldrok had barely made a dent, but a few minutes of this, and I was ready to shatter.

What would weeks of torturing Fane do to us?

The beast glowered from his chains.

Not my beast.

He wasn't my beast anymore.

Welts and bruises mottled his torso and arms, tucked in between the tattoos and scars. Blood oozed from one of the wounds on his bicep.

That bothersome royal demon or her pet barged into this room all hours of the day and night to ensure I was torturing the hybrid. They brought new toys and a witch to heal his wounds, so he was primed for more punishment.

They removed him to rest, shower, and eat occasionally, but for the most part, he remained my prisoner. I gave him water and fed him the food I was supposed to eat.

Acid curdled my stomach at the amount of torment this creature could endure. He never screamed or begged. He simply took it, all the while watching with those eyes that made me want to hide.

He tried to rip my flesh and bones apart to reach the one he called to.

The other me.

That me was weak and sad, so she allowed me to take over to hurt this beast. She cried the entire time. Her mournful wails pierced my eardrums and hammered my skull.

It's better this way. I'll keep a steady hand while you crawl under blankets.

Still, her pain was mine.

While his head was bowed and body slumped, hanging by the chains, I dragged my fingers over the scars on his chest. He used to visit me in his ghostly form that felt so real. He'd lie in the bed, holding me while I tried to sleep.

Not anymore.

My mouth curved toward the ground, and an ache bloomed in my center.

He never came to me in that form .

"Yes, I do." His rough voice startled me, and I dropped my hand. "You just refuse to see me."

Apparently, he could read my mind now.

He lifted his head, untamed ebony hair falling in those searing irises, one gold and one blue. "I'm not reading your mind. You're projecting your thoughts to me. Every single one of them."

I backed up and sat on the end of the bed, my brow furrowing. "Why would I do that? I don't want you in my head."

"Maybe you don't, but the real Tate does."

"I am Tate." The sooner he understood that the easier this would be.

Would it, though? This ancient power had lived through eons, yet it was perplexed by the emotions still coursing through this body. I felt them even when the other me tried to pull them into her so I could do my job.

We had to do this to keep that little wolf on Earth safe.

Dylan. I'd sliced his brother up, but the child still liked me. So did the brother.

Strange family.

"Bring back the Tate I know." His teeth clenched. "I want to speak with her."

My lips hitched into a wicked smile. "She's not in right now, but you can leave a message."

The beast jerked the chains. "I know you can hear me, Tate! Take control. Don't let the amulet's power win."

A wild laugh burst out of my mouth. "She relinquished control the day she first tortured you with your fears." I stood and crossed the small room to the corner. "She dropped to the ground here and asked for help as she buried herself far inside to hide with her pain and sorrow. "

"She wasn't thinking clearly," he said. "The amulet has warped her mind."

I shook my finger and tsked. "That power has saved her more times than you have. You knew there was a price when you asked her to use it. You knew it would open the doorway just a little more each time. Now it's wide open, and the power roams free."

A snarl slithered between his sharpening teeth. "But it doesn't roam free, not with that sigil." He jerked his chin to my arm.

I unbuttoned the black jumpsuit, rolled it down, and tied the sleeves around my waist. The dampening sigil searing my skin was like a muzzle that kept my true power at bay. I could play with fears all I wanted, but I couldn't unleash the real monster within. The shifter inside could barely poke through the cage.

My lips thinned. "This is annoying."

"I bet you can find a way to remove it." His head tilted toward his bicep that bared the same mark. "You could get mine off too, and then we could have some real fun in this place." A grin that had my blood pumping tugged at his mouth.

The beast's lure pulled me from the corner, and I stalked toward him as images of us rolling in the blood of our victims assaulted my mind. If I didn't have this sigil, I would rip Mykel's head off and use it to bash in the royal's face. Then I'd make her worst fears materialize.

My lids fluttered. Her screams would be so delicious.

I swayed in front of the beast, humming a song from deep in my memories. The words came to me in a distorted mess, but the melody was the same. "Have you eaten the souls of John. Bones and flesh and the organs gone. Wouldn't it be lovely to bathe in blood?"

My head craned toward the ceiling as my pulse pounded with each new horrible fantasy that unfolded. Heldrok would fall to its knees if I could unbridle this mass of ancient magic from the Infernal Sol. Every guard and prisoner would kneel and worship me. This could be my kingdom in the Underworld, my savage castle on the edge of a rocky mountain.

The mere whisper of my name would strike terror in the black hearts of everyone. I would reign with a crown of thorns and bones. And the beast would be beside me.

As my head lowered and my eyes opened, the creature's look of concern shattered the wonderful fantasy.

He would never be with me. Not like this. He only wanted her .

Once he used this power to free himself of that symbol, he'd shove me far down to return her.

A growl rattled up my throat. "Tricky beast, but I see through your pretty lies. You can't fool what knows your insides."

"You really want to continue letting Venna force your hand?" He scoffed. "Are you too weak? Too scared to fight?"

I raked my talons down his chest, drawing blood. "I'm not afraid to fight. I'm just smart enough to know you would use me to get what you want and then force me away."

I didn't want to hide anymore. She should stay below while I handled things. "Her mind is too fragile, and her emotions, especially for you, make her unstable."

His laughter bounced through the room. "Unstable? You're the one who speaks in strange riddles and nonsense."

Fire sped through my veins, and I snatched a knife, putting it to his throat. "Careful how you speak to me, demon shifter. I am in control of this. I am the torturer. Not you."

He sneered. "Then stop fucking around and torture me."

I pressed the blade into his skin until a line of red bloomed across his flesh. "Maybe I'll use the Devil's Nightshade again."

"That's child's play for someone like you." His black pupils thinned into diamonds. "You're the fear master, aren't you? Why don't you use fears on me anymore?"

"Because I've seen all of yours, and I've grown bored of them."

His challenging smile had me questioning my tactics. "You haven't seen them all." He lowered his head toward me. "I've got one more fear you'd love."

Unable to resist temptation, my fingers rested on his cheek to seek out a new fear I had yet to discover.

Maybe I should have thought twice before tapping into this nightmare.

Another version of me appeared sprawled on the ground at his feet. Crimson splattered my face and chest while I listlessly stared at the ceiling.

No life remained. That had all been ripped away. A gash in my throat spilled blood, and a jagged hole revealed the empty place my heart should have been.

Bile oozed up my throat at the revolting sight of me dead and broken.

The beast bellowed so loudly I had to clamp my hands over my ears. His teeth extended into sharp points, and slick black talons sprouted from his fingers.

"Tate!" The chains pinning his wrists and ankles to the wall violently rattled as he fought the restraints. "No! This isn't real. Get up. "

Invisible ropes of steel and titanium wound around my lungs as his anguished wails ricocheted against the stone walls. Each howl slammed into my skull like a blow from a metal bat, and I stumbled back.

As his agony became my own, I clawed at my chest, trying to rip out the emotions he poured into me. It wouldn't work, though. I couldn't hide from them any more than he could.

"Tate, baby, please get up." His cracking voice nearly shattered me.

I fell onto the bed, choking on air as tears blurred the room. The other me stirred inside, banging against the walls she crouched behind. She hadn't known how deep his feelings ran. He never let her see.

Now she couldn't unsee it. She couldn't stop feeling it.

He wanted her body. He dreamed of all the deliciously dark and dirty things he would do to her.

But he craved her soul too. He never thought he'd find anyone who would accept him or the monster he could become.

She did.

He thought he was doomed to wander the worlds alone, and even in the afterlife, no one would greet him.

Tears leaked down my cheeks as the beast continued to fight, trying to reach the dead hallucination of me—of her—on the ground. He thought he could bring her back if he just touched her, took her pain, gave her his energy.

He'd give her everything if she just came back.

He loved her.

The realization slammed into me with the force of a wrecking ball, and the other me burst forward to rip the reins out of my grasp .

"Fane!"

His head jerked in my direction once the other me called out. As the confusion drifted away and his fear vision faded, rage coiled around his muscles. He knew exactly what he was doing when he provoked me to show him that fear. He knew it would be enough to push him over the edge or reach his precious other me.

The fear was so traumatic it did both.

His nostrils flared as danger oozed out of him, along with a bone-chilling growl. "Tate, come back."

"I'm here!"

Shit .

I slapped a hand over my mouth to shut her up. I didn't want her to come back. Not yet. I wasn't done. It was my turn to be in control.

The beast's chest swelled, and his eyes glowed as he gathered power. Sweat slid down the back of my neck. He couldn't break those chains. They were enchanted. No one could.

But as he opened his mouth and unleashed a roar that shook the walls, sheer strength and determination erupted in him. And the chains on his wrists snapped.

I felt fear for the first time as the beast tore through the ones on his ankles, freeing him from the wall. He stepped toward me, snarling like a shifter and a demon.