18. Saul

Chapter eighteen

Saul

I 'd been awake for a while the next morning, going back and forth wondering if I was doing the right thing. I wasn't used to this sort of indecision. And it had hit me suddenly that I didn't know what to do except to barrel through like I'd done on the island. And Calvin didn't need that. He needed me to be gentle. And who was I to think I knew what gentle was? I'd insisted he come here instead of going to his best friend's house because I wanted him close, but there was a healthy dose of ego in there as well, and neither of those reasons meant I was putting Calvin first like I should have done.

I was an egotistical, selfish bastard that didn't deserve someone like Calvin, and the thought I was mixing up being a Daddy and being a bully terrified the crap out of me.

I'd been half joking when I'd said I wanted to start off every day with a spanking, but his reaction had been immediate. And it definitely hadn't been of the negative variety. But not when he was injured. I felt like I was flailing about in a huge ocean without a life raft and had already fucked up so many times. I needed expert advice and knew that while Chris had stepped up yesterday, I wasn't sure how comfortable I was going to be asking him those kind of intimate questions, especially with Ricky being Calvin's best friend.

Then I had an idea and grabbed my phone to shoot off a quick text to the guys I'd worked with last week. They owned many nightclubs and according to Chris they owned Salvation, which was one of the hottest clubs in Florida, complete with a members-only floor and a BDSM dungeon.

I'd been comfortable with Maddox, but I had Gideon's cell number, and I could trust him to give it to me straight.

How's the girl?

He'd know who I meant.

Better away from that fuck'r and with help. Changed your mind about a job?

I chuckled quietly as I heard a ridiculously loud snore from the bundle next to me.

Just moved my boy in. Not going anywhere.

I got a thumbs up.

We may have a job up there. Have you been to Escape with your boy?

Been nowhere.

Realizing this was my chance, I added.

He's a Little and I could do with some advice. Nev'r been a Daddy.

Can u talk?

I slid out of bed and went into the kitchen and called. Gideon answered. "I'll be in Denver today and if you'd like to bring him to the club, there's a special Little area. Chris has been before, so's Ricky. They'd be welcome if it would make your boy feel easier to have someone there he knows, then we can talk while they play."

I blew out a breath and thanked Gideon. It sounded perfect. He'd never once asked why I didn't want to ask Chris, and I had a feeling he wouldn't. I respected that then shot off a quick text to Chris saying that's where I wanted to take Calvin, assuming his shoulder felt okay, and did they want to meet? I hastily added Gideon had invited me.

Chris texted me back immediately, confirming they could and asking if we needed a ride or wanted to meet there. I opted to drive even though we lived so close because I didn't want to rely on someone else if Calvin got overwhelmed and we had to leave early. Pocketing my phone, I went back into the bedroom to see a bleary-eyed Calvin blinking at me.

"Hi baby," I said and walked over, bending to kiss him. He drew back, mumbling that he needed to brush his teeth, so I took his hand and helped him to the bathroom. He tried to pull away when we got inside, but that wasn't how this was gonna go, so I led him straight to the toilet. "Can you manage, or will you let Daddy hold it for you?"

Calvin froze, and I felt like we were teetering on some edge. I had absolutely no idea where that question came from. Since when would it ever occur to me to hold another guy's dick while he peed?

Since I became his Daddy.

I wanted to do all the things. I wanted to shower him, pick out his clothes, help him brush his teeth, watch him play, see him happy.

Love him.

All the breath left my lungs. But he was here. Here in my house. And hopefully if I stepped up and showed him what a good Daddy I was, he would stay. And I needed that with every breath in my body.

"Daddy," Calvin breathed out, and for a single heartbeat I forgot the question, but then everything flooded back and I wrapped my hand around his dick and took my job seriously. Then I led him to the sink to wash both our hands before leading him to the shower.

Calvin was perfect. I made sure to wash him thoroughly, and when he melted in my arms, we had a very satisfying end to the shower. I saw him glance a few times in my direction, but since I wasn't sure how recent his experience was with anal, I knew that he'd need some prep. Which could be fun.

Maybe I should ask first instead of making assumptions. "Daddy wants nothing more than to be inside you, but I will never hurt you." I felt him relax a little more and knew it was the right call. "We are going to enjoy a lot of prep before that happens." I watched the pink travel up Calvin's neck. I knew he needed to trust me and hoped I was both being honest and saying the right things. "Let's get you dressed."

I examined every inch of him for bruises and swelling and was surprised how much they'd gone down. "How do you feel?" I made sure to cover his bruises in the cream I had.

"I bruise easily." He shrugged. "It doesn't hurt."

I cupped his face. "I don't think that's right, baby. I think what you meant was that you got bruised so often it became commonplace for you, not that it was easy."

Calvin's breath hitched, and I traced his cheekbone with my thumb. "Never forget that you are the one driving this relationship. Yes, I want to be your Daddy and make decisions, but only because you let me. I want you to feel safe with me. Know I would never hurt you in anger. That your safety and happiness will always be my top priority." I grinned. "Although we're definitely revisiting the morning spanking when you aren't injured." I was rewarded with a gorgeous pink flush that climbed his cheeks.

I couldn't remember enjoying a morning so much in my entire life. I made him soft-boiled eggs and toast soldiers for breakfast and a little fruit cup on the side, then we went into the lounge and opened the boxes we'd missed last night, which included an hour for me to put together a play table and chair.

Adoring Calvin was easy, but I was in awe watching him gradually drop into his Little space. His voice rose a few octaves, and his word choice altered the comfier he became. I desperately wanted him to relax and feel safe to become Little all day if that's what he needed. I knew the art and craft goodies would be critical and wanted to make the dining room into a playroom for him. A space he could be himself.

I watched as he eagerly busied himself labelling his craft containers and sorting what was going into each. "Baby, Ricky and Chris are going to a local club with a dedicated space for Littles tonight. Would you like to go?"

I saw the worry on his face as he looked up, and I drew him onto my lap. "Daddy wants to show you off. To make all the other Daddies jealous, but if you're not ready or are still sore, we can go another day."

Calvin met my gaze, and I saw the slip, the adult come back to the surface. But that was okay. I needed both. I wanted him to be comfortable in either. "What if there's people there you know?"

I knew what he was asking. Would I be ashamed of him. "I can only hope."

The club was huge, and Calvin's eyes grew round as we stepped out and a valet parked the car. It was warm enough for shorts and, much to his delight, he'd found a few new tees in the packages, including the one with the green dragon from a recent film on it that he'd decided to wear. Well, actually, I'd picked his clothes out, but his shy smile at my choices told me I was on the right track. His swelling had gone down quite rapidly and so long as he didn't knock it, his shoulder was okay with basic pain pills.

We headed for the main door, signed in as Gideon's guests, and he met us just as we heard a familiar squeal behind us indicating Ricky had arrived. I readied myself to make sure he didn't fly at Calvin and hurt him accidentally, but Ricky behaved and remained gentle. We all followed Gideon through, and I heard Ricky say the Little room was amazing.

And it was. Ricky started taking his shoes off and I saw the little cubbies for them, but I didn't want Calvin bending, so I hunkered down and undid the Velcro straps myself, making sure he used my shoulders for balance while I took them off. "Calvin?" I murmured before Ricky dragged him away. "Promise me you'll say the instant you've had enough or if you need to sit quietly for a while."

I watched the slow smile curve Calvin's lips, and the wonder shine in his eyes. Fuck, had no one cared for him at all? I bent down and brushed a kiss on his cheek. "Have fun but mind your shoulder."

Ricky took his hand after being cautioned by Chris, then both boys went to investigate an area where another two Littles were building Lego.

"We don't have alcohol in here, but I can get you a soda, coffee, water?" Chris asked as we walked over to a couple of couches where Gideon had sat.

"Coffee would be great, thanks. Do you—" But Chris waved off my offer and nodded in Gideon's direction, so I parked my ass down.

"Tell me what sort of arrangement you've established so far with Calvin?"

My eyebrows shot up and Gideon chuckled. "They could be back over here in five minutes. Get your questions in while you can."

I told him briefly about Calvin's ex, knowing I could trust Gideon. "I've made sure he's had a very low-key day. Plenty of Little time or as much as he would let me see."

Gideon tilted his head in a silent query just as Chris put my coffee on the table, but then instead of sitting down, he moved away and stood sipping his own while he watched the boys. Which made me ashamed. He knew I wasn't okay with him, and it was ridiculous. He'd had my back many times over the years when I could have lost my life.

"Chris," I called, and he came over and I lowered my voice. "You know Calvin better than I do, so any insight would be appreciated." Chris seemed to take a breath, then sat down and I repeated that I'd tried to create an environment where Calvin could relax and trust me. "Not that I'm expecting it to happen overnight."

"No," Gideon agreed. "But as emotional and physical safety have both been issues, he needs to know you mean what you say. What punishment rules have you established?"

I felt the heat on my face as I remembered the spanking conversation and the list of Daddy questions. "He's injured."

"Yes," Chris said. "But he also disobeyed you when he opened the door to let Steven in." Gideon's eyebrows rose, but Chris continued. "Littles will often break rules deliberately to test you, not that that's what he was doing when he opened the door. But they need the security of knowing how you will respond." He smirked. "Ricky drove me bat-shit crazy with the stupid stunts he pulled."

"But he's injured," I repeated.

"So, get a whiteboard. Something visible. List his infractions so he knows what will happen when he's recovered, and you have his consent." Chris shrugged. "Ricky has a reward list as well."

"Have you established safe words?" Gideon asked.

I frowned. "Of course."

And he put up a hand in a surrender gesture. "Then the biggest hurdle you have is winning his trust, and the easiest way to do that is being consistent." I nodded. I knew I needed patience.

"If it's any consolation, you've found out more in the last month than he's let Ricky see for ten years."

I glanced over at Chris. That surprised me. Gideon leaned forward after glancing to both sides to make sure he couldn't be heard. "Now that you're not going to be a Rent-A-Daddy, I have a job for you all to look at." Gideon smirked.

"Like the previous one?"

"Not precisely, but Geoff, one of the owners here, has had a sub go missing. She has no family and no regular Dom. All the previous Doms she's played with have been cleared, but a friend from here insists she was excited because a Dom wanted to see her outside of the club as well."

"And you have no names?" Chris asked.

He shook his head. "Cops have her as a missing person, but part of the problem is that anything to do with this lifestyle is generally kept very private, which means it could be easier to get away with something like that because the subs are less likely to gossip. I'm having all the other owners I know check in on their subs. Make sure we haven't missed any others."

Chris shot me a teasing look. "Do our boys know they just lost their first employee?" I grunted my reply, but Chris still found it way too funny.

I turned and watched Calvin smile at a girl, then almost as if he knew I was watching he turned and met my gaze. I hadn't been joking when I said I would do everything in my power to keep him safe and happy. There was zero chance any idiot like Steven would ever get their hands on him again.

I hadn't thought much about the saying, tempting fate. As far as I was concerned you made your own. But it only took one more day to prove how wrong I was.