16. Calvin

Chapter sixteen

Calvin

I practically burrowed into Daddy, not wanting him to let me go. "The only thing you need to agree to is that I'm your Daddy. Going forward, I'll take care of everything else. I know it's a leap of faith but we're just not working without each other."

I gazed up at him. "Did Ricky know you were coming?"

He smirked. "Not tonight, but I think he's been scheming to get us together."

"I hated seeing you with Emily," I confessed.

He was quiet for a moment. "You do know—"

"Yes, of course I do." And I did. "It's just you seem to be made to be a Daddy."

He grunted. "And you, naturally, were torn between wanting to believe it and thinking it was too good to be true." He dropped a kiss on my head. "I don't blame you. Storming out on Sunday made me look like an ass."

"I love your ass."

Daddy sent me a heated look. "Don't think I don't know you haven't answered my question, but I want you to know me. To know all of me."

I nodded eagerly. I wanted that too. "It takes a special sort of courage to be a military spouse. Long absences, house moves. Always knowing that your spouse has to put something else first before you. My dad was career military. In for the long haul. Mom wanted the kudos of being a military wife, but she hadn't realized it sometimes meant more sacrifices for her than my dad. When I was little everything seemed good, but then Dad got two nearly back-to-back deployments, and we had to move again. I was seven, maybe, and not thrilled that I was losing all my friends, so I misbehaved a lot.

"Mom was at the end of her rope. I'm not saying it was all her fault, but she started drinking and seeing other guys. Dad wasn't oblivious, but instead of trying to fix things, he ducked out. It came to a head when I was fourteen and Mom got arrested for a DUI. The problem was, the guy's daughter was in the car with them and she got scared. The kid's mom got a lawyer and kicked up a storm. Dad was told nicely that he either had to distance himself or go home and sort it out."

I gazed at Daddy, knowing this was hurting him, but that he was saying it anyway did funny things to my insides.

"Dad retired a year later. But by this time, Mom didn't care. She had her life and that was it. The moment he finally walked in the door to stay, she finally walked out of it." Daddy was silent for a moment. "I'd grown up with the expectation that I would follow the same path as Dad, and instead of resenting that expectation, I decided I wanted it but in my own way. The second I had my high-school diploma in my hand, I left all my friends and walked into the nearest recruiting office. Ten days later, I was doing basic."

"I bet your dad was still proud of you."

Daddy nodded. "I'm sure, but it was too little too late. I never blamed him for Mom not being able to cope, but I blamed him for turning a blind eye. He had the opportunity to come home earlier when it would have made a difference, but he didn't."

I laid my head back down on his chest. "When I told you what my mom was like, and you didn't say anything about yours, I assumed you'd had a perfect life."

Daddy rubbed his hand on my shoulders. "I'm not used to sharing, but that's gonna change." I hummed my agreement.

"And I guess you're moving soon?"

I giggled because I was happy. "Tomorrow." He arched an eyebrow. "I'm going to stay with Christopher and Ricky while we build up the business, and then I can find somewhere to live."

"No," he said. "That's not going to work for me. As your Daddy, I need you where I can see you."

I swallowed.

"My grandmother left me her house which I've started remodeling. I've been renting it out, but it would be perfect for us and it's only a couple of blocks from Ricky's." He tilted my head with a gentle finger under my chin to make our eyes meet. "Now is the time for you to answer that question."

I swallowed. I wanted Daddy with everything in me, but I was still scared. Everyone had let me down except Ricky. But what was the point in protecting my heart if it meant losing the one thing…the one person I wanted most of all? "Yes please."

Warmth lit Daddy's eyes. "Such a polite boy."

I basked in the praise, but then I sighed. "So will I see you tomorrow?" Daddy chuckled and stood up, cradling me in his arms. I gaped again because he was so strong.

"Show me the bedroom we're going to spend the night in."

Saul

Maybe I should have gone with my instincts all along.

I took in the peeling walls, the threadbare carpet, and what I guessed was a thrift store table next to the bed. But then I took in the row of books, all old, but carefully arranged, the cozy blanket he'd had on the kitchen island. Everything was old but pristine, and Tiny sat in pride of place in the middle of the two pillows. The bed looked decent, but it was small, and I doubted we would both fit on it. For a moment I seriously considered if I should just take Calvin to a hotel, but that would be sending my boy the wrong signals. I never wanted Calvin to feel ashamed of where he'd managed to get to in his life on his own, and renting alone anywhere was no small feat.

Spotting the hard chair in the corner of the room next to a rail that Calvin had hung clothes on, I carried him over there. A plastic set of 3 drawers stood next to it. Calvin was silent and as he followed my gaze, I knew he was watching for my reaction. "I can walk, you know."

But he didn't say it like he really meant it and I nuzzled his throat.

"But why should you?" I kissed him as lovingly as I could, then broke off and deposited him on the chair. "Sit there. I don't want my weight to break your bed, so we're going to do some rearranging." Calvin's lips parted in surprise, but then he glanced back at the small bed.

"I can manage on the sofa."

But I shook my head. "You're going to spend tonight in my arms, same as every night from now on."

Calvin's smile came back full-force, and he watched as I pulled the mattress onto the floor. I was used to sleeping on hard ground, so if I rolled off it was no big deal, but I doubted if the spindly metal feet on the bottom of the bedframe would survive me lying on it.

Tilting the frame up and onto its side, I just left enough room for us to squeeze into the bathroom, then turned to Calvin. "Now baby, I've never been to a BDSM club in my life, but I understand what consent is. We're going to copy what I've read and use the traffic light system as we did briefly in the hotel but without a real discussion, which was wrong of me."

Before I got the chance to say anything else, there was a knock on the door. "I ordered a pizza," Calvin explained. He went to stand up, but I laid a hand on his shoulder.

"I don't want you ever to answer a door unless you absolutely know who's behind it." The thought of what he'd done earlier still gave me fits, and he hung back as I strode to answer it.

"My wallet—"

"I've got this." It was one thing not belittling him, but he was in my care now and if where he was living was an indication of his finances, then I would get the pizza. Paying the guy and making him happy with a generous tip, I left the box in the kitchen after seeing he had a microwave to reheat it.

"Are you hungry now?" I asked, glancing back at him. He shook his head, and I could see that nerves were probably filling his belly.

"Not really. I often eat late."

His eating habits were another thing we'd address, but I had to get him home first. I was well aware of the huge age gap between us, so I'd be looking at my own habits as well. Snagging his hand, I took him to the sofa, sitting again with him on my lap. "As I was saying, we'll use the traffic light system. Can you repeat them for me?"

He looked surprised. "Green, for everything is okay. Yellow is I'm not sure and need to talk, and red is for stop."

"Good boy," I praised; I knew he'd been to a club with that waste of space Steven, so I'd been sure he was aware of what I'd been able to find on the internet. I just wanted to reinforce our rules. "I know you made those questions Ricky sent me."

He flushed, which was as good as an admission. "I helped Ricky," he admitted.

"Did you read my suggestions?"

He nodded.

"We'll expand on the rules, but once we get home, we're going to start every day with a spanking."

Calvin's jaw dropped.

"Because I need you to know every morning that you're safe with me."

He blinked and lowered his head. I caught his chin and lifted it, his tear-laden eyes focusing on mine. "What color are you?"

"Green," he said, but his lip trembled.

"Then why does that make you upset?" I'd seen the flare of arousal in his eyes when I'd first mentioned it and didn't think it was the spanking.

He was silent for a moment, but then he leaned against my chest. "I've never felt safe. Not ever. I remember feeling saf er many times, like at work, for example, but that was because I was with another group of people that had to be kept safe." His fingers went to my shirt, playing with the buttons. "I've never felt safe because another person wanted to make sure I was, just me."

"I suppose," I said honestly. "That this isn't pc or whatever shit I'm supposed to say, but the fact is, you belong to me. You agreed to be my boy, which means I'm a hundred percent responsible for my most precious possession. Safety is the least of what that means." I huffed. "And if I'd have gotten my thumb out of my ass and told you at the wedding, I wouldn't have just had the worst two weeks of my life."

Calvin was silent for a moment, and I worried I might have come on too strong, but he rubbed his cheek on my chest like a cat and I assumed it was for comfort. I hoped it was. "I've spent the last eighteen years protecting complete strangers," I said. "How much more do you think I'd try for someone that belongs to me?"

"I don't think I was ready at the wedding," he admitted.

I hugged him tighter, if that was possible, then stood and sat him back on the sofa. "I'm going to assume that means you're ready now, but as the saying goes, actions speak louder than words." I went into his bedroom, then walked over to the plastic drawers and, pulling open the second one, I found Calvin's pj's and had him changed quickly. Then I heated the pizza and pulled Calvin back onto my lap to feed him.

"Am I always going to sit on your lap?" Calvin asked in wonder.

I pressed a kiss to his head as an answer because I assumed it was more of a rhetorical question. When he was full, I took him to the bathroom, waited until he'd peed, then washed his hands and left him brushing his teeth while I saw to myself. Then I made sure he lay on the comfiest bit of the mattress and curled my body around him. I didn't have any condoms with me and while I wanted nothing more than to make his body sing, tomorrow was going to be a long day.

"What time are the moving people coming tomorrow?" I needed to sort that out.

Calvin paused, then snuggled back against me. "I'm renting one of those little trucks. I don't have a car. Alan from work is going to give me a hand with the bed and the sofa."

I didn't reply, and made sure I didn't react. Even though it was only nine p.m., Calvin was out like a light in a few minutes. I waited until I was sure he would stay asleep and then got up and let myself into the living room, closing the bedroom door behind me. I didn't call Ricky this time; I called Chris. "Saul?" he answered quickly.

I didn't beat around the bush. "Were you aware Calvin is intending on hiring a small truck, loading his gear with the help of one guy from his work tomorrow, and driving it himself?"

Chris was silent for a couple of heartbeats. "We offered to send a moving company, but he said he had it covered." There was no justification in his words, more discomfort. I sighed because I could imagine there was no way Calvin would admit he needed help. Not even to Ricky. "What do you need?" Chris said softly.

"He's moving in with me," I said, almost daring him to object. "But I need at least two more guys here tomorrow by ten at the latest. I also need Ricky to go to my house," and I rattled off the door code. "I need a stocked refrigerator with whatever Calvin likes and the bed made fresh…" I sighed. "Ricky will know. Make it welcoming. Whatever he needs. Money is no object."

"No," Chris almost growled. "It isn't." I sighed, knowing Chris and I were on the same page at last.

"I'm going to need a few days to settle him in, and I know they've got an office at your building, but we'll talk after. Let me get him safe and comfortable first."

"You got it, Sergeant," Chris replied.

And yes, for once, I thought I had.