Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Vespas and Vesuvius and Not So Much Adventure on the High Seas

E arlier that morning, Giovanni brought Randy and Rachael to the rental agency. Randy presented his driver's license, a credit card, and his passport. He signed the waivers and the contract, even though he had no idea what either said.

"I'll be back at five o'clock." Giovanni waved to them. Be careful.

Randy and Rachael explained as best they could that they wanted to go to Vesuvius. The young man at the counter looked at them skeptically. He walked them over to a large map on the wall and pointed out the easiest and safest route for them to travel.

"How long will it take?"

"Depends how fast," the young man said in broken English. "Maybe thirty, forty minutes."

"Grazie."

The young man handed each of them helmets, goggles, and talk-back equipment, and then walked them out to the lot, where a row of Vespas were lined up.

"Which one?" Randy asked.

The young man shrugged. He had no idea how good a driver Randy was and left it up to him.

"Let's take this one," Randy said, pointing to a GTS 250 that looked comfortable enough for the both of them.

He hopped on and turned over the engine. He turned the handle grips and revved it up. Rachael climbed behind him.

"Andiamo!"

The first few miles on the E45 highway were easy, but when they began to drive north, the traffic got heavy. Rachael's nerves were challenged as eighteen-wheelers zoomed past them. She tried to tap Randy without losing her balance. Then she remembered the earpiece and the microphone.

"Randall."

He didn't seem to hear her.

"Randall!" she yelled louder.

"Yes, dearie?" He sounded cool and calm.

"I think we should take the local roads. These trucks are way too close."

"Okay. I'll get off at the next exit."

A half-mile later, he got off at the sign that said SS18—P ECORARI. He brought the scooter to a stop on the gravel side of the road.

"Pull out your phone and Google our location."

Rachael got off the motorbike and reached around her belt. Nothing was there. No fanny pack. Which meant no wallet, no phone. She either left it at the rental place, in Giovanni's car, or at his mother's house.

"Dang! Randy, when was the last time you saw my fanny pack?"

"I wasn't paying attention. Sorry."

"We're going to have to use your phone. I don't have mine."

"Do you want to go back and look for it?"

"How much further until Vesuvius?" she asked.

He tapped his phone a few times until the local map appeared on the screen. "Another half hour, forty minutes."

"We might as well keep going."

"It says west, so we're going in the right direction. I'm sure we'll see signs as we get closer."

"It's kind of hard to miss," Rachael quipped, and got back on the bike.

The local route was much more picturesque, and Randy also had to drive slower. It had never occurred to her that Randy could be a secret speed demon.

Several minutes later, they arrived at a crossroad. It was SS 268 and had a sign for Vesuvio National Park.

Rachael gave him an atta boy pat on the back. They'd be there in another fifteen minutes.

When they finally arrived, there were hundreds of people milling about, waiting to do the hike.

"What do you think?" Randy asked.

"I did enough hiking yesterday. Let's just take a spin around it."

Randy revved the engines, proceeded north, and began to circumnavigate the massive mountain of rock and lava. It took about an hour to get all the way around. He pulled onto the side of the road and said, "What do you say we look for someplace to grab lunch?"

"Good idea." Rachael was happy to remove herself from the saddle. Yesterday, her feet hurt; today, it was her butt.

They soon discovered there was nothing in the area and had to drive back around to the other side.

Rachael sighed. Why on earth did she think this was a good idea?

They continued for another twenty minutes until they came upon an exit for the small town of Cercola, which had both a local pizza joint and the ever-ubiquitous McDonald's.

"Now, that's disappointing," Rachael remarked. "I'm surprised they allowed it."

"Someone told me the McDonald's in Mexico makes everything from scratch," Randy said.

"You can't be serious."

"I'm just repeating what I was told."

"Well, I'm not going to find out. It's pizza for me." Rachael slid off the seat. She could barely walk.

"How is it that someone who has danced as long as I have can't get her legs to work?"

Randy hooted, "Well, you're going to have to withstand at least another hour."

"Mama mia." Rachael hit herself on the forehead with the palm of her hand.

They lingered over their pizza for almost a half hour. "How long it is going to take for us to get back?" Rachael asked.

"Figure an hour."

Rachael pouted. "How did I let you talk me into this?"

"Ha! It was your idea, dearie."

"I don't think so, dearie," she sneered at him.

"Let's not fight, or we are going to have to get a divorce," Randy joked.

When it became obvious that there wasn't a crumb left for them to eat, they began their trek back to Salerno.

"Highway?"

"That would still be a no," Rachael said emphatically.

The three men were geared up for a few hours on a fishing boat. Giovanni noticed there were whitecaps on the bay. Not a good sign.

"How far out are we going?" he asked the captain in Italian.

The answer was five miles. In Giovanni's opinion, that was five miles too far. He turned to Peter and Richard. "The sea is rough. It's the wind." He waited for a reaction.

"I'll admit it. I don't have much in the way of sea legs," Peter said, without any shame.

"I'm not exactly Popeye the Sailor either, Giovanni," shared Richard.

"No worries. What if we just go for a little ride around the marina?"

"What if we just go someplace for lunch?" Richard suggested.

"Molto bene!" Giovanni said with relief. Even a short boat ride could turn someone's gills green. "If you like, I can show you the Acquedotto Medieval. It's an aqueduct built in the ninth century. No walking. I promise. Well, maybe a block, but no more."

"Sounds like a plan," Richard said.

"Andiamo."

No one wanted to say it, but all of them were relieved they weren't going to have any hijinks on the high seas. Giovanni's original thought was for them to do something corag-gioso , manly, with courage. But he had to face facts. They were past the age when physical challenges were not as important as maintaining their health and bones. They could save the machismo for another day. If ever.

Giovanni found a local seafood restaurant that was known to be a hidden gem. "Close enough, eh?"

"Perfetto!" Even Peter was enjoying his three-word Italian vocabulary.

They ordered clams, mussels, grilled octopus, and calamari. Lunch took over two hours, the same amount of time they would have been fishing.

"This was much easier." Richard leaned back in his chair.

"And we didn't have to bait a hook."

"Or clean and cook!" Giovanni remarked.

After lunch, they stopped at a local pastry shop and picked up an assortment of sugary and buttery delights for the party.

When they got back to the car, Giovanni looked at both of them and asked, "Pennichella?"

"Sì! pennichella!" Richard chortled.

Giovanni drove them back to Baronissi and decided to have his pennichella on the sofa rather than drive back to his house.

Before the women went to lunch, Frankie brought all the shopping bags to the car and locked them in the trunk. There were a few cafés in the complex, and they decided to stop in one of them instead of driving elsewhere. They still had to stop at a drugstore for hair dye and makeup.

It was close to two o'clock when they left the outlet center. Frankie pulled out a few file cards and a pen. "Hair will take about two hours."

"I can do Rosevita, and one of you can do Lucia."

"Hair? You color my hair?" Lucia looked alarmed.

"Yes. You are in my power." Frankie chuckled. "What's the point in looking good just from the neck down?"

Lucia was skeptical. "Rosevita? You, too?"

"Of course!"

Amy asked the women, "What color was your hair originally?"

"Me?" Lucia asked. "Almost black."

"I don't think that would look good on you now. What if we go all white?"

"All white?" Lucia looked horrified.

"Platinum." Amy took out her phone and looked up a few photos of women over sixty. She showed her several photos.

Lucia pointed to the picture of the red-headed Sharon Osbourne. "I like that."

Amy looked at the photo and then held the phone up next to Lucia's face. "It could work."

"And you?" Frankie addressed Rosevita. "I remember you being ash blonde."

"Yes. Ash blonde. But maybe I try platinum?"

"Splendid idea."

Rosevita had a blunt cut that skimmed her collar bones. She would look stunning with that color.

They drove several miles to a large pharmacy and headed straight to the hair care section.

"What if I no like?" Lucia was having second thoughts.

"Then you can wear your black babushka," Frankie cackled.

It took the good part of a half hour for all of them to agree on shades of red and blond. Once that was out of the way, they went to the makeup section of the store. They let Nina handle the shades of foundation, blush, eyeshadow, and lipstick, and she piled everything into the shopping basket.

Amy was getting excited about what she considered a "human renovation experiment," but she wasn't going to use those words in front of the two women, who had entrusted their appearance to them.

It took two trips to bring their booty into the house. Amy brought the bags upstairs and hung the dresses on the hooks of their bedroom doors, while the other two began to set up the kitchen to be their makeover salon.

When Amy returned to the kitchen, she spread newspaper on the floor and placed two chairs on top of it. Nina told the women to change into something they wouldn't mind getting hair color on, should that happen. Nina had been coloring her own hair for years and was rather adroit at it, but better to be safe than sorry.

Frankie set up two tray tables, one next to each chair. The older women reentered the make-shift salon and took their seats. Nina wrapped the capes around them as Lucia made the sign of the cross.

Nina put her hand on Lucia's shoulder. "It's going to be fine. If anything, it will be better than this mess of white, gray, and whatever that other color is."

Amy and Frankie mixed the color in the bowls and handed them to Nina one at a time. She quickly brushed the reddish-brown paste into Lucia's hair and then placed a light, disposable shower cap over it. Then she moved on to Rosevita and did the same. Amy set the timer for ten minutes so Nina could check the color. If all was up to snuff, she would leave it on for another ten minutes.

When the timer rang, Lucia jumped. She was definitely on edge.

Frankie asked, "Would you like some tea?"

"Maybe a little sweet and dry vermouth," Lucia said, and trembled. "With a little scotch."

"Coming right up," Frankie answered. "How about you, Rosevita?"

"Sure, why not?"

Amy went over to the refrigerator to fetch the red vermouth. "Do you mix equal parts?"

" Sì . With a slice of orange, per favore ."

Amy put the concoction together and served it. "Is there a name for this?"

"Some say it's a French Kiss, but we call it Affinità ," Rosevita replied.

It took only one sip, and Lucia's shoulders began to relax. "Bene."

A half hour later, they were ready to be shampooed and blown out. Once all the color was out of their hair, Nina used a little shampoo and then conditioner. She spritzed them with Frankie's styling mist.

"Looks like we might have two fabulous babes here," Nina said confidently. She began to blow out Lucia's hair and styled it similarly to Sharon Osbourne's, with hair parted on one side and behind one ear.

"Wow!" Amy squealed.

"Spectacular!" Frankie added.

"Can I see?" Lucia asked.

Frankie went into the bathroom and brought back a hand mirror.

Lucia gasped. "I look-a ten years younger! Bellissimo !" She couldn't stop staring at herself.

"You're next!" Nina pulled the blow-dryer over to Rosevita and began to finish the job. More sounds of approval filled the kitchen. When she was done, she took the mirror from Lucia, who was still staring at herself.

"You'll get it back." Nina grinned.

Rosevita had the same reaction as Lucia. "I love it! You make me look so glamorous!"

"And we're not done yet," Nina said proudly.

The kitchen clock was ticking past six. "I wonder if Randy and Rachael are back yet," Frankie considered. "I'll give Giovanni a quick call."

"Do you think they caught any fish?" Amy wondered out loud.

Frankie chuckled. "If I know Giovanni, he talked them out of it."

Giovanni answered his phone. "Pronto, cara!"

"Hey there. How was your day?"

"Very nice."

Frankie gave her phone a curious glance. "How much fish did you catch?"

"We found some clams, and mussels."

"Oh?" Frankie's gut was telling her they did not go clamming. "How many bushels did you rake?"

"No rake. Eat!"

"Ha! You can tell me all about it later. Have you heard from Rachael and Randy?"

"No. I thought maybe you."

"Not here. I hope they're okay."

"Don't worry. They will show up." Giovanni didn't want to express any concern, but it was dark, and the roads could be treacherous, day or night.

"How is the make-things-over?" Giovanni asked.

"The makeover is going quite well." Frankie turned and looked at the transformed women. "We have a little more to do. When will you be back?"

"About an hour. I have to pick up some things," Giovanni said. "I tell Peter and Richard we will pick them up on the way to Mr. Parisi's."

"But Nina and Amy still need to get ready."

"Okay. I come now, bring them here, and then go to the store. Tell Nina her friend arrived. Jordan is here."

"Oh, good." Frankie knew she was probably running Giovanni ragged. "I'm sorry. I wish I could drive them myself."

"Ah. I'll call Fredo. Tell him to come now. He can bring the girls here and then wait. Then he'll go to our house."

"You're becoming quite the planner." Frankie smiled.

"I learn from the best," Giovanni answered.

"Ha! Okay, I need to get back to work." She looked over at Nina. "How much more time do you need?"

"An hour."

Frankie turned back to the conversation. "Send him here in an hour."

" Sì . I will be there soon, Fredo in one hour. Ciao ."

Once they ended the call, Frankie turned to Nina again. "Jordan is at the house. Will you have enough time to get ready?"

"Oh, I almost forgot about Jordan!" Nina winced. "Well, it will give him and Richard a little time to get to know each other."

Frankie checked the time again. Things were running smoothly. Good.

"Okay, ladies. Time to decide what you are going to wear tonight." The troupe went up the stairs single file.

"I think I wear the skirt and blouse?" Rosevita suggested.

"Try on the pantsuit, too, and see which one you like with your new 'do," Nina suggested. "Lucia, why don't you try yours on, too?"

Lucia had already decided to wear the cobalt-blue dress. "Make my eyes pop!" She giggled.

Rosevita slipped into the pantsuit. It was stunning. Then she tried the skirt and turquoise blouse. It was a toss-up.

"I think the skirt and blouse is more party type," Nina decided.

"Okay. Party!" Rosevita agreed.

"Get dressed, and I'll do your makeup," Nina instructed.

They bought two extra capes to drape over their outfits to be sure their new wardrobe would be free from any spills or powder.

Nina did Lucia's face first. The foundation matched her skin tone perfectly, and the light peach blush blended well with her new hair. A touch of brown eyeshadow, eyebrow pencil, and a pale coral lipstick finished off the look.

Rosevita's foundation was also a perfect match. Nina chose a pink-tone blush, a purple-brown eyeshadow, and a cotton-candy-pink lipstick.

When she removed the capes and allowed the women to see her handiwork, they were stunned.

Lucia clutched her chest. "Who is that?" She stared in the mirror.

"That's you, Lucia. The Lucia that's been hiding under the black cloud. Welcome to the new light!"

Rosevita was also blown away. "I cannot believe I look so good."

"Don't either of you start to cry," Nina warned. "I've gotta go, and you need to look as perfect as you do now." She gave both of them air kisses. "You look spectacular!"

Fredo pulled the transport into the driveway, and Amy and Nina made haste.

Lucia and Rosevita kept staring at each other. "Who knew we could be so glamorous?" Lucia asked.

"Frankie." Rosevita put her arm around Frankie's waist. "This was a wonderful gesture. I cannot thank you enough."

"And you opened your home to us, so this is our way of thanking you."

Frankie realized she, too, had to get her act together and get ready. She had an hour before they were supposed to leave for Mr. Parisi's. She phoned Giovanni again.

"Any word from Rachael and Randy?"

"No. Nothing." Giovanni was now quite worried.

Frankie let out a huge sigh. "Okay. Keep me posted."

"I'll be back at the house in half an hour," he said, trying to keep the anxiety out of his voice. " Ciao, bella ."

" Ciao ." Frankie turned to Rosevita. "No one has heard from Randy and Rachael."

"Not to worry." Rosevita patted Frankie's hand. "I'm sure they are fine. Maybe got a little lost."

Frankie knew that was entirely possible with that duo, but still, no phone call from either of them. She knew there was nothing she could do about it, so she went to her room and began her own transformation.