Chapter 11

Colby

I should’ve realized aliens who didn’t sleep much would be morning people.

“Groaning is usually a human indication of pain.” Saint picked up the pillow I was hiding under and leaned down to put his face right against mine. “Please communicate the problem area or I must notify the human helper.”

I was pretty sure he was using that as an empty threat…but not sure enough to take a chance. Teasing him about it seemed like a reasonable plan, though. “I think you’re being sneaky.”

He tried to shrug and look confused, but he needed to work on his acting human skills. “I have no knowledge of sneaky in this context.”

Bullshit.

He made me smile, though, and that signaled a clear win for the alien Dom. “You are not considered a morning person , my Colby.”

Picking me up before I could even nod, he moved me to his lap and wrapped me in his arms. “He is fine. He is just what humans consider dramatic .”

Fuck.

Forgot the audience.

Trying not to groan in embarrassment that time, I buried my face against his torso and dragged one of the larger tentacles over my head. I didn’t get much sympathy but he did give me a pat as I gave him more human drama and whispered, “I forgot they could hear. What did they say?”

I was hoping he’d deny hearing any conversations.

He didn’t.

“Several immediately understood the human response which is a refusal to wake. It shows they are ready for their own human. Unfortunately, several responses indicated worry. They are not ready for the human reaction called drama.”

So you had to be able to tell a dramatic sub from one who was truly emotional before they’d encourage you to go find one of your own?

Made sense to me.

“You knew I was just being dramatic, so you teased me.” I managed not to laugh but it was close. “The human helper threat was a good one.”

His bubbly laughter said he was very pleased with himself.

“You are stubborn, my Colby.” Rubbing my back, he puffed and wiggled as he snuggled me tighter. “We must discuss food and hydrate you. Humans are delicate and you consumed much energy in your pleasures.”

Well, he wasn’t exactly wrong.

But did he even have food?

That question made me curious enough to lift my head and look over at his tiny and very empty-looking kitchen. “You won’t let me have brownies for breakfast.”

I was pretty sure that was all he had and his shocked inhale said that was an insane thought.

As I giggled, he shook his head and did his frustrated human impression. “No. That is not proper nutrition for my human.”

I decided not to tell him I’d had ice cream for breakfast twice last week.

He probably wouldn’t understand that adding peanuts on top made it healthy.

“There is a communal space called a dining hall which provides a variety of edible material for meals.” He paused, making me want to giggle again. “There is a dining hall which provides a variety of meal options for both our species.”

“Good editing, my Saint.” Kissing his cheek to hopefully distract him, I wiggled and sighed to signal more drama. “But what about coffee? I might be good and stop grumbling if I can have caffeine.”

It was his turn to be dramatic.

“Providing neurotoxins to boost mood is not healthy.” Saint paused, making me realize he hadn’t been talking to me. “Logic does not reach that conclusion.”

The neighbors.

Great.

Were they going to talk him into coffee or out of it?

I was voting into it based on the frown on his face.

“Withdrawal.”

He sighed.

Yes!

Neurotoxins for the win.

“Consensus is moderation with humans and addicting substances.” He wasn’t happy with it but someone had pointed out we were assholes when we went through withdrawal.

“Just one.” Giving him a quick peck, I tried to look happier since looking dramatic didn’t seem to be the best plan. “Then I’ll have water.”

That was what I usually did anyway, so it was easy to sound truthful.

“I will accept that deal as long as it comes with morning food that has nutritional value.” Two smaller tentacles crossed over his torso like he was folding his arms. “Donuts are not considered of value.”

Well, it depended on what we were considering valuable.

“I understand.” That wasn’t a bad tradeoff. “I will not ask for junk.”

“The human art of grumbling would apply in this situation. However, I value clear communication.” He looked like he was starting to question that decision, though.

Time for a distraction.

“What kind of food do they serve?” I was brilliant. He perked right up and switched gears. Giving me information was more fun than practicing the human art of grumbling. “We had a big dinner but I’m going to be hungry before too long.”

And I really needed caffeine if I was going to pretend to be a morning person to keep him from worrying.

“There is a significant variety.” Picking me up, Saint climbed off the bed as he started explaining how breakfast would work. “Humans prefer to consume eggs for breakfast and many have adapted to that preference. There are also meats and a product called oatmeal .”

His head cocked as he took me into the bathroom. “There is great debate over the texture.”

I managed not to laugh out loud but he must’ve realized how funny I found it because he frowned at me. “Slime is no laughing matter, my Colby.”

He definitely wasn’t helping, but I managed to get better control of myself. “Sorry, my Saint.”

Ignoring how pleased he was at that, I kissed his cheek and decided to keep distracting him. “Are we going to shower together this morning? I usually start my day getting clean because it helps my brain wake up.”

Bingo.

“You were highly frustrated that morning had come, my Colby.” Setting me down in front of the toilet, Saint just grabbed my dick and pointed it at the bowl like there was nothing interesting about it. “Do many humans come in this variation?”

I hadn’t really thought of morning people versus night people in that way, but sometimes it felt like we were different species.

“Yes, but I’ll try not to be unreasonable about it.” That was the best I could do. “I’m never late for work, though.”

I’d just cut it close more than a few times.

“Helping my submissive human to prioritize being well rested and keeping track of his schedule is a dominant’s job.” Shifting the conversation again, Saint patted my butt. “Eliminate, my Colby.”

Piss.

Got it.

Letting out a breath, I stopped thinking about wandering tentacles and focused on releasing my bladder. It took a few seconds longer than he seemed to understand, but being ordered to pee was actually hot in an unexpected way and that wasn’t helping me go faster either.

“Good boy.” More pats only made my dick more confused about what the fuck we were doing, and by the time I was finished, Saint was playing with it and not just holding it. “Many humans wake up in a state of arousal. However, there are humans who find a variety of nonsexual activities as sexually pleasurable.”

It wasn’t really a question but he was studying me just a bit too hard as he released my dick. “I will not be startled by unexpected desires. I have made an extensive study of possibilities.”

Don’t worry about being freaky…he’d seen it all.

In his research, at the very least.

“It’s not the pissing.” I’d never had to say that to anyone I’d dated or just slept with before, but it wasn’t as hard to get out as I thought it would be. “It’s the fact that you were taking control of it. My sub side just really likes it when you’re so confident about taking control.”

Oh.

“And yeah, waking up hard or halfway there is just part of being a human male.” I didn’t want to forget about that part and wake up tomorrow with him being convinced the sheets turned me on too.

“Thank you for the clarification.” A pat on the head came with a smile that time before he went over and washed his tentacles. “The human helpers would require I explain your state if you become aroused at breakfast. It would be observed.”

They’d all watch and wonder why oatmeal turned the human on…got it.

“I have also been advised to inform you that our social customs around mates are unique with humans. Different. They are different.” Looking pleased at correcting himself quicker that time, Saint puffed up as he turned the shower on. “Once we are mated, we do not engage in social touching with other humans. None of my species will touch you no matter if you are aroused or plain.”

Was there a word for not aroused?

I shoved that question to the back of my head until I had caffeine, but I nodded. “I’ve read some books about humans having relationships with you guys. I figured those points out already.”

Hmm.

“Does that mean you’re not going to be a party Santa anymore?” Wait. “How did you get that job?”

“Human minds are interesting, my Colby.” Steering me into the shower, Saint closed the glass door and positioned me under the fantastic spray. “No. I will not be holding humans on my lap and asking what they desire.”

Okay, when he put it that way, I could see why he’d looked at me like I was missing a few screws.

“It was a way to gather information.” Turning me around under the water, he tipped my head back and massaged my scalp with his nubs. “However, as we become bonded, I will no longer wish to touch other humans.”

He paused and then very deliberately lowered his face to mine and studied me. “Do you have questions, my Colby?”

“Can I wash you too?” He performed his Dom-getting-thoughtful sigh with utter perfection. “Thank you for making sure I get breakfast.”

The distraction wasn’t good enough that time. “Human stubbornness is remarkable to see in person.”

“Thank you.” There wasn’t anything else I could say without talking about it, so I didn’t bother trying to be smooth. “Can I have juice for breakfast or is that considered a little thing? Too unhealthy? The human helper guy seems to see a lot of littles based on how he was asking questions last night.”

Utter silence.

More studying.

“A small glass is socially acceptable and provides nutrients.” Saint seemed to have decided to let me be ridiculous because he answered my question instead of calling me out. “They have become more visible to my people.”

He didn’t like that sentence.

“No.” Picking up the shampoo I couldn’t remember having seen last night, Saint took a moment to roll the sentence around in his head as he worked at getting me clean. “They have made an effort…yes…they have made an effort to appear more obvious to my people.”

Oh, that was better.

“That’s a good one.” I tried to be cheerful as I praised him but his nubs started massaging my scalp and made me moan before I could catch it. “That’s good too.”

Saint’s soft laughter made me realize I’d closed my eyes at some point, but I opened them to see what he was up to. “Human bodies are amazing.”

It wasn’t until he looked down at my dick that I realized I was hard again…in my defense, it was starting to become just a regular part of life with him.

“We’ve got a lot of nerve endings up there, and honestly, nearly everything you do turns me on.” Between his constant touching and just knowing how important I was to him, I was pretty sure I was always going to be hard around him no matter what we were doing.

“As is right for human mates, my Colby.” His face shifted into what was definitely a suspicious, raised eyebrow kind of look even though his features weren’t designed for it. “But cleanliness and food consumption take priority.”

Yay.

I was so important to him that he was going to let me be unreasonable.

Best Dom ever.