Chapter 22

Lori closed her eyes,sore from all the tears she’d sobbed in the cab on the way home and from the past hour she’d spent lying on her couch with her head on her mom’s lap. In the cab, no one had pressed her to talk or asked what was going on. They knew her well enough to know the answer. But Lori hadn’t wanted an audience for this breakdown, and she’d been glad when her mom had suggested that they drop Rosie at home on their way back to the Sanctuary. Rosie had left quietly with a promise to check on her tomorrow.

She didn’t look up when she heard the stairs creak. “Mom,” she said and trusted her to understand what she needed.

“I know, sweetheart.” Her mom continued to stroke her hair from the top of her head all the way down to its end, just the way she had when she was a child.

“Karen, is everything okay?”

“Not right now, but it will be,” her mom said. “You go back to bed and get some sleep.”

Lori felt her father come closer and heard their gentle kiss before his footsteps retreated along the hallway and up the stairs. “Tell me again how you and Dad met,” she said, desperate for a distraction from the devastating ache in the deepest, most hidden part of her soul.

Her mom sighed. “My boyfriend at the time wanted me to watch him play basketball, and I agreed, even though it was my least favorite sport. I figured I could sit in the back of the bleachers and read The Great Gatsby for my literature class.” She drew in a long breath and let out another sound of contentment. “All the players came onto the court, and I looked up to feign interest as he waved at me. I smiled and waved back, thinking that he’d forget I was there as soon as they tipped off.” Her chuckle rocked Lori’s head gently. “I hadn’t counted on his gorgeous teammate, who, it turned out, also happened to be his new best friend.”

Lori allowed herself to concentrate on their love story. “Tut tut, Mom, for not respecting the bro code.”

“Oh, those curls, and his gorgeous blue eyes, and he was so tall.” Her mom squeezed Lori’s shoulder. “I was powerless to resist.”

Lori smiled and sat up. She never tired of hearing that story. “Did you know that you loved him from the start? And that you were meant to be together?”

Her mom shook her head. “I knew I lusted after him from the start, but I had no idea we were meant to be together. Ryan and I had been high school sweethearts, together for six years. I thought I loved him.” She shrugged. “But I soon realized I had no idea what love really was until your dad and I fell into it.”

“Do you think you can love someone and hate them at the same time?”

“Yes,” her mom said. “You can love someone and hate what they’ve done. Definitely.”

Lori settled down on the other side of the sofa so she could face her mom, who had clearly realized where she was going with this conversation.

“I bet she and her buddies had a good laugh after I’d told Gabe what the lawyer had done with her paralegal. ‘That’s terrible, and I can’t imagine how painful that must’ve been,’ she said. She looked me in the eye, Mom, and pretended that she cared.”

“Hey, you don’t know that she doesn’t. From what I can see, I don’t think any of what you’ve told me has been pretend.”

Lori scoffed. “Are you serious? All of it is. She’s been pretending to be such a kind and generous person when all the time she’s the kind of woman who can happily break up marriages.”

“Mm. I saw all the work that’s gone into your rust bucket when we visited the garage on Tuesday. None of that is pretend.”

“She can do all those things and be a cheater.” Lori frowned. “Exactly whose side are you on, Mom?”

“Yours, sweetheart. Always yours. But that doesn’t mean that seeing the other side of the argument isn’t in your best interest.”

“What do you mean by that?” She wrapped her arms around her knees and prepared for some Mom-wisdom.

“For years now, you’ve been existing, not living. Even before you found that woman cheating on you, you’d become a ghost of yourself.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

Her mom shook her head. “As much as I love you and want to protect you, I can’t live your life for you. You have to make your own mistakes, and you have to find your own way out of the situations you find yourself in.” She shrugged. “To be honest though, we see a lot less of you since you moved here to run the Sanctuary, so it was hard to know whether you were changing because of those responsibilities, or if it was the lawyer. And she had your father and me fooled for a long time too. She put on a hell of a show whenever we visited; she made it look like you were the center of her world.”

Lori didn’t say anything for a moment and thought about what her mom had said. “Why did it take me so long to realize that? I was the one living with her.”

“I imagine it’s because you were so focused on making this place viable. And maybe you blamed yourself for the cracks, so you didn’t see she was the one slamming an axe into the foundations of your marriage.”

Lori sighed deeply. “I don’t want to talk about her anymore. The auction will mark the end of that for me, once and for all. It’s Gabe I’m angry with now.”

Her mom smiled. “I brought it up because it’s important to see how much you’ve changed since Gabe came into your life—maybe not so much changed as recaptured your spirit. It’s like she’s switched the light on so that you can see the beauty of your life again. Your dad and I saw it when you picked us up at the airport.” She reached over and squeezed Lori’s hand. “I can’t tell you how wonderful that was. And your soul practically levitates when you’re around her or talking about her. Your dad says that you look like he felt when we first met—and every day since.” Her mom looked off into the distance, like she was watching old memories play out on the walls. “It’s all we’ve ever hoped for: for you to find the kind of love that we share. It’s a luckier discovery than any hidden treasures found at the bottom of the sea.”

Lori placed her hand over her mom’s, finding the solidness she needed. Could she dare to hope that she and Gabe could be as symbiotic as her parents? Maybe she could have before tonight’s big reveal. “You and Dad aren’t cheaters though, Mom.”

“Well, that’s not strictly true…”

Lori narrowed her eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Her mom looked away and inspected her nails.

“Mom?” She’d heard this story a hundred times, and there’d never been any hint of impropriety.

“I wasn’t sure your father was serious. I mean, he was a hunk, and I was smitten?—”

“Ew, Mom.”

Her mom shook her head. “I swear children are programmed to believe that they really are delivered to parents by storks.”

“I don’t think that,” Lori said. “I just don’t want to think about it at all.”

Her mom waved her protestations away. “Well, anyway, I had a lot to lose. Ryan and I were engaged to be married, and my parents thought the sun shone out of his butt. His parents were rich and influential, and they were grooming him for a career in politics.”

“Which worked, didn’t it? Isn’t he a New York senator?”

Her mom nodded. “Indeed he is. Which is why my parents were so set on us marrying. But your dad was less…conventional, and he had a bit of a love ’em and leave ’em reputation. I wasn’t sure I wanted to risk the stability of the life that had been planned for me just for…well, just for something you don’t want to hear me talk about.”

Lori rolled her eyes. “Then maybe you could skip that part and get to the rest of the story that you’ve never told me before.”

Her mom gave Lori’s knees a light shove. “I’m giving you context, sweetheart. These things don’t happen in a vacuum. Circumstances are very important.”

Lori tucked a pillow between her head and the sofa and settled against it. “Okay. Please continue.”

“So we saw each other while I was still seeing Ry?—”

Lori bolted upright and stared at her mom, open-mouthed. “You cheated on Ryan with Dad?”

Her mom nodded. “I had to be sure. I didn’t want to throw my future away for something that was only powered by lust and something that burned bright but wouldn’t burn long. We’re not proud of how we started, but we accept that it simply was what it had to be.”

“How long?”

“How long what?”

“How long did you cheat on Ryan before you made your decision?”

“Six months. Before me, the longest your father had been with anyone was…” She flicked her hand in the air. “Well, let’s just say that he hadn’t proven himself to be a keeper.”

Lori squeezed her eyes shut. Once she had the detail, she could never let it go, but the curious child within her was desperate to know almost everything. “I may as well have the full picture since you’re ruining my fairytale.”

Her mom chuckled. “I do love your dramatic side. Are you sure?”

Lori nodded, and her mom gave a naughty grin, something Lori had never seen before and wasn’t sure she’d want to again.

“Forty-eight hours. The weekend was all anyone else ever had. Until me.”

So the grin was pride. “You’re pleased with yourself because you changed the leopard’s spots, aren’t you?”

“In a way, I suppose I am. But your father, by his own admission, was untethered and floating through life. I became his anchor, something to ground him but also someone to fly with him too.” Her mom chuckled and winked conspiratorially. “And what brought us together hasn’t faded yet.”

“I didn’t need to know that.” What her parents got up to in the privacy of their own house was something Lori really didn’t want to ever think about. “Were you never worried that he’d get bored and cheat on you because of the way you started out?”

“No. We both knew what we’d found, and there was no way either of us were ever going to risk letting it go,” her mom said. “And besides, you don’t go out for a hamburger when you’ve got steak at home.”

Lori sighed. She’d been briefly distracted by her mom’s story but now remembered why she was hearing it at all. “So you’re telling me that I shouldn’t be mad at Gabe for whatever she’s gotten up to with the sergeant major’s wife? For being involved in a cheating scenario.”

“I’ve never told you how to feel, sweetheart, and I’m not going to start now. But you owe it to yourself to give her the chance to explain. You have no idea how long ago it was or what the circumstances were. What she’s done in the past doesn’t necessarily define what she’ll do in the future. Look at how you railed against helping the elephants in Koh Samui. We were beginning to think that you wouldn’t become part of the family business, and that you’d end up in some corporate, money-grabbing, greed-fest for a job. Now look at you, running this place all by yourself.”

She gave a half-smile. “But that’s not the same thing, is it?”

“It shows how people can change. Your father changed when he met me. Pieces slotted into place, and everything made sense in the world.”

Lori’s phone pinged with a message, and she glanced at it on the coffee table where it peeked out of her clutch.

“Don’t you want to check if that’s Gabe?”

She shook her head. “It’ll probably be Rosie.”

“Is that who you want it to be?”

“I’m not sure what I want at the moment, Mom. This isn’t just about the cheating, it’s about Gabe not telling me about it. She knew what I’d been through, but she still didn’t tell me that she’d done the exact same thing to someone else.” Lori reached for her phone then thought better of it.

“Perhaps she kept it to herself because she knew how you’d react and didn’t want to hurt you,” her mom said. “Until you know all the facts, I don’t see how you can make an informed opinion or decision. As far as Gabe knew, you were just supposed to be friends; you’re the one who changed the parameters of your relationship without talking to her about it. Maybe if you’d talked to her about it instead of hatching your little hotel plan, she might’ve told you all about her past indiscretion.”

I have to tell you something. She’d been the one to stop Gabe from saying anything. But that could’ve been something else completely unrelated to a potential confession. She grabbed her phone and checked her messages. Sure enough, there was one from Rosie, and her view of the situation was predictably angry on Lori’s behalf and best friend-like in its solidarity. She’d known she wouldn’t get the same response from her mom, which was why she’d sent Rosie home… She needed her mom’s level head and relative objectivity.

If and when u’re ready, can we talk so I can tell u everything?

“Well? What does Gabe have to say?”

“She wants to talk.” Lori placed her cell face down on the couch.

“Tomorrow’s Sunday,” her mom said. “She’ll be coming to see Max, won’t she? Or are you going to tell her that she can’t?”

“Of course not.” But the thought of seeing Gabe tomorrow turned her heart inside out. She thought she’d been doing the right thing by getting to know Gabe and making sure she was safe before she let her heart enter the equation. None of it had worked. Beating beneath her ribs, it was already a traitor. It already belonged to Gabe. “Beth is covering my work tomorrow…” Because I was supposed to be up all night having mind-bending sex with Gabe. “So Gabe can still see Max. I don’t have to be around.” Lori had promised that they could talk about Max’s possible adoption, but there was no way she could face that right now.

“You’re going to avoid her?”

“Clearly you don’t think that’s a good plan,” Lori said, “but it’s the only one I have right now. I felt like I was almost healed after the lawyer, but this has knocked me on my ass, Mom. I’ve got a therapy session on Monday. I’ll talk to Rae and try to straighten everything out in my head.”

“Okay, sweetheart.” Her mom shifted so that she could pull Lori into a hug. “Would you like me to stay? I can cancel tomorrow’s flight.”

Lori relaxed into her mom’s arms and rested her head on her mom’s shoulder. “No, I don’t need you to do that. You’ll be back next week for the auction anyway. And Dad needs to get back to his new project. I haven’t seen him this excited about something since the time he got back from that orca rescue.”

“I don’t mind.” Her mom kissed the top of Lori’s head. “I’ll take any excuse to be with my baby. You’ll always be more important than any project we’ve got going on. You do know that, don’t you?”

Lori smiled. Her mom’s love seemed to be easing the headache that had formed after all her crying. “I do, Mom. I’ve always known that. I’ll be okay. I just need some time.”

“Good, but you can’t ignore her forever. At the very least, you’re bound by the restoration project until the auction.”

“I know.” We’re bound by a lot more than that. I’m just not sure I want to be.