Chapter 18

“Doyou think I’m inflexible and lack spontaneity?”

“Is this more of the lawyer’s nonsense surfacing?” Rosie pushed a shot of tequila closer to Lori. “I thought you’d completed this stage?” She narrowed her eyes and leaned in. “Or is this something your new friend has leveled at you? I’ll kick her ass. I don’t care how big she is; I’ll gnaw on her kneecaps.”

Lori laughed at the visual. “It’s neither, and also, I’m not sure when that stage ever finishes. But part of me wishes I could see you have a go at Gabe though, jealous heart.”

Rosie knocked back her first shot from the rack of ten and slammed the glass back on the bar, upside down. “I’m not jealous. That’s an ugly emotion. I’m envious and protective. You’re just starting to come back around after the lawyer, and I wouldn’t want my best friend disappearing again if Gabe breaks your heart.” She poured salt on her hand, licked it, and munched on a fresh lime segment. “Although she told me you were just friends, and she wouldn’t do anything that could mess with her access to Max, so I suppose I really don’t have anything to worry about.” Rosie pushed the glass closer to Lori’s hand. “I can be envious of the amount of time you’re spending together though, can’t I? If I didn’t care, what kind of best friend would I really be?”

“She said we were just friends?”

Rosie arched her eyebrow and gave her the look. “That’s what you got from all that? Now you can see why I’m envious; even when we’re together, you’re more concerned about what Gabe’s thinking.” She tapped the glass in front of Lori. “Drink. Or I’m grabbing the first hot woman who comes through that door and taking her home, leaving you to the rest of these shots and your preoccupation with Sergeant Gabriella Jackson.”

Lori grasped the glass and went through the ritual, wincing when she bit down on the particularly sour lime. “Isn’t it good that you’re the one I want to talk to about her?”

“I suppose that depends on the context,” Rosie said. “How did the babysitting go the other night? Has it made you all broody and hormonal?”

“So what if it has?” Lori took two glasses from the rack. They downed them, and Lori sucked on the same lime piece, foregoing the salt. “If you ever settle down, do you want children?”

Rosie shrugged. “I haven’t really thought about it. It feels like I’m so far from finding my princess that it doesn’t seem fair to tease myself about the life we might lead together.”

“Maybe you’re not that far.” Lori wiggled her eyebrows, the effect of the tequila already releasing her playful side. “Shay would make a pretty princess.”

Rosie clutched her heart and fake-swooned. “Shay is a goddess, and she’s out of my league. And I get the impression that she’s too busy playing the field to sit on the bench. But we’re not talking about me, we’re talking about you and your hormones.” She nudged Lori lightly. “Obviously, I don’t need to ask you the same question; you’ve got a whole ranch full of surrogate children. Have you thought about in-vitro or adopting?”

Lori shook her head. “I want children, but I want them with someone. I want to share in the joys and heartaches of raising little humans.” She pulled out her phone, flicked to one of the many, many photographs she’d taken of the triplets on Wednesday, and showed it to Rosie. “Aren’t they the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen?”

“Wow.” Rosie pinched the screen to enlarge the picture. “They really are identical. I hope they don’t dress them all the same as they get older. I think that suffocates their potential for individuation.”

Lori grinned. “I do love your psycho-babble.”

“She says, while disparaging it as babble.”

“Lovingly disparaging.”

Rosie lined up another two drinks, and they dispatched them quickly. “I don’t know how you’ve managed to stay in therapy so long when you hold it in such low regard.”

Lori shrugged. She wasn’t sure how she’d managed it either, though she had a feeling. “Desperation,” she said, loud enough that the bartender looked over and winked.

“Ooh, hottie at two o’clock,” Rosie said.

“Where does your inner feminist go when you get drunk?” Lori stacked a little tower with her empty glasses.

“She doesn’t go anywhere. She just makes a little room for my vamp.” Rosie prepared their fourth shots. “Anyway, back to adventures in babysitting. What does the big, bad, super-strong soldier think of helpless babies?”

“That’s complicated.” Lori didn’t want to betray Gabe’s confidence, since it was clear she was reluctant to share her story. “She was a little distant from them, and she doesn’t seem to be embracing Hannah and Janie’s desire to involve her in their family.”

“Sounds like she might need help with some deep-seated childhood issues. But I’ll bet she’s even less interested in therapy than you.”

Lori nodded. “Strong, silent types, huh? But I still had a great night. I’m so comfortable around her. I don’t have to pretend to be anything. She has zero expectations, and I really like that.”

“That’s how all good friendships start, isn’t it?”

Lori chewed on her bottom lip and didn’t respond fast enough not to raise Rosie’s suspicions.

She narrowed her eyes and sighed deeply. “That’s where you’re at, isn’t it?” Rosie asked. “It was less than a week ago when you told me that you wanted to find yourself before you rushed into anything new. I believe you said you wanted to build a friendship first, and if Gabe was still around when you were ready, great. But if she wasn’t, never mind.”

“I’ve had another therapy session since then,” Lori said and winked. “Seriously though, I’m wondering if there’s any real reason to wait longer. Everything feels so good, and I don’t think I want to risk losing Gabe to someone else. I know she’s out tonight with the rest of her team; it’s only a matter of time before someone realizes she’s golden and snaps her up.”

Rosie wagged her finger. “You think jumping into something you said you weren’t ready for six days ago because you’re worried Gabe won’t be around is a good basis for a relationship?”

Lori downed the final shot. She bit down on a fresh piece of lime, and its tang zinged down her throat. “I don’t need you as a therapist right now; I need you to talk to me as a friend.”

“Okay… Are you sure you want to go down this road with her even though you’ve only known her a month?”

“I am, and I’m not. But I don’t need to be a hundred percent sure. There are no certainties in life, and isn’t that the beauty of it? I’d lost sight of that. So what will I know until I see where it goes? We enjoy spending time together. She makes me laugh, and we have great conversations. She’s been there when I needed help. She dropped everything to rescue me from the freeway and to fix the Oakley. And she’s delayed the opening of her garage to spend more time on the rust bucket—a project she’s getting no money for.” Lori flicked through her phone to the photo she’d secretly snapped of Gabe with Max. “She’s better with dogs than kids, and she’s been vulnerable and open enough to share why that is.”

The bartender came over and asked if they wanted another rack of shots.

“No,” they said together.

“We know our limits,” Rosie said and smiled. “We’ll take two mojitos, please.”

Lori waited until she’d gone before she resumed her explanation, which she needed to hear out loud to make sure it made as much sense as she thought it did. “Gabe does things for me because she wants to, not because there’s any obligation. And that feels amazing.”

Rosie’s acceptance was clear in her smile. “So when are you going to tell her all that?”

“My birthday dinner. Mom will have already met her and told me what she thinks. I guess her opinion is the last part of the puzzle for me. And then, this is where you come in, I need you to make sure Mom gets home so I can take Gabe to a fancy hotel. We’ll have mind-blowing sex, the likes of which I’ve never experienced.”

Rosie stroked her chin like a pessimistic detective. “You’ve never really been that into sex though, have you?”

“Right! But it’s all I can do to stop myself from pushing Gabe against a wall and running my mouth all over those slabs of muscle I keep getting peeks of. I mean, did you see her six-pack at the garage? And she was all hot and sweaty… Mm.”

Rosie nodded. “I did. It almost made me entertain the thought of going butch for once.”

“Exactly. The thought of sex with her is driving me insane. And she’s been so understanding.” She thought back to Monday night, and the almost drowsy look of desire in Gabe’s eyes. “We were on the brink of kissing the night she towed the horse trailer, but she pulled back. She’s respecting my rules and being a wonderful friend. But I’m sure she still wants me. I don’t think that’s changed from the first day we met. She’s just doing a fantastic job of controlling herself.”

The bartender returned with their drinks, and Lori took a long gulp like it might douse the fire of her craving.

“But I don’t want her to hold back. Not anymore. I want to be more than just friends. I know that’s not enough for me. I want all of her, and I’m going to tell her. And I’ll be giving myself the best birthday gift ever: permission to please myself.”

Rosie clinked her glass to Lori’s. “We should toast then. Because it sounds like you’ve given this a lot of thought.”

“Yes and no,” she said and took a sip to celebrate. “I don’t want to overthink it. That’s why I asked if you thought I was inflexible and not spontaneous. I used to be flexible, and I’d act on the spur of the moment all the time. I used to believe in myself and be free, just like my parents encouraged me to be. But I lost that while I was with the lawyer, and I’m not letting her continue to influence my life or who I am. That’s what I was doing though, holding back and not trusting myself and my feelings. And I’m done with that.”

Rosie smiled widely. “Welcome back, Lori Turner. I’ve missed you,” she said and drew Lori into a bone-crushing hug.

“Are you two celebrating something special?”

Rosie came up for breath to see Ellery and her on/off girlfriend at the bar beside them. Ellery smiled, but Lennie’s lips were a fixed line as if someone had superglued them together. God, she was the most sullen person Lori had ever had the displeasure of meeting. Why Ellery kept taking her back was baffling.

“We weren’t,” Rosie said, “but I hear you’ve got something to celebrate. Congratulations on your new clinic.”

Ellery’s expression fell, and it became clear from Lennie’s comedy-like eyebrow raise that Ellery hadn’t yet shared that news with her.

“New clinic?” Lennie asked, enunciating each word like she was talking to an academically challenged six-year-old.

Lori prodded Rosie’s arm and offered an apologetic look. “Sorry for putting our foot in it and spoiling tonight’s surprise.”

Lennie’s face relaxed a little—well, Lori thought it had, but it was hard to tell under all the Botox—and Ellery mouthed a silent thank you out of Lennie’s eyeline.

“We’re celebrating?”

Ellery kissed Lennie on the cheek. “Surprise. I was going to tell you over a bottle of Veuve Clicquot.”

“Veuve Clicquot?”

Lori glanced at Rosie and tried not to laugh, sure she must be thinking the same thing: that Lennie had injected so much Botox that it had limited her speech to two-word questions. Maybe if she said much more, her face might crack.

“You’d prefer something else?” Ellery asked.

Lori bit the inside of her cheek. That question was going to cost Ellery dearly.

Lennie pointed to the selection of champagnes under cool lightning at the back of the bar. “Not Krug?”

Rosie coughed her drink back into her glass. “Sorry. Escapee mint leaf went down the back of my throat.”

“I read that Veuve Clicquot is America’s favorite champagne,” Lori said, though she knew her attempt to help would probably be futile.

“I’m sure it is,” Lennie said, raising her nose in the air, “for people who can’t afford the more superior Champagne house.”

Ellery’s forehead creased like she was in pain, which was unsurprising given the cost of a bottle of Krug. Lori hadn’t seen a single bottle sold in this bar before, and she was sure their stock had been there since they opened in 1976.

Ellery waved for the bartender’s attention. “Can I get a bottle of Krug, please?”

The bartender looked taken aback by Ellery’s request and leaned in closer as if she hadn’t heard correctly, then she backed up to the champagne display and pointed to the bottle of Krug, still not looking convinced that she’d understood Ellery’s order.

Ellery nodded. “That’s what I want?”

Lori would’ve laughed if she hadn’t felt so sorry for her; Ellery was way too soft for her own good, and Lennie had been taking advantage of that for far too long.

The bartender pulled a chilled bottle from the lower fridge and arranged it in a Krug-branded ice bucket that looked unused too. “How many glasses would you like?”

Lori put her hand on Ellery’s forearm and squeezed gently. “We don’t want to mix our drinks, Ellery.” She shot Rosie a look when she frowned in obvious disagreement.

Ellery’s sigh of relief was audible even over the mid-level music thumping in the background. “Are you sure?”

Lennie put her hand above Lori’s on Ellery’s forearm. “They’re sure.”

Lori wondered just how much of the over-priced grape juice Ellery would actually get to drink. She was surprised Lennie hadn’t just asked the bartender to fix a teat to the bottle so she could keep it all to herself.

“Two glasses, please,” Ellery said and held her card to the payment terminal when the bartender indicated it was ready. She glanced at Lori and gave her a tight smile before tearing off the gold neck wrapping and popping the cork.

“You should keep that and write the date on it,” Rosie said. “It’ll be a nice reminder.”

Once again, Lori had to stop herself from laughing and lightly tapped her foot to Rosie’s shin. “Troublemaker,” she whispered, and Rosie grinned.

“When will you be moving in?” Rosie asked.

“Soon, hopefully.” Ellery finished pouring a half glass and offered it to Lennie.

She raised her eyebrows and didn’t take it, so Ellery filled it to the brim and tried again. Lennie nodded as if she were the queen of everything and accepted it this time.

Ellery smiled, but she still looked pained. “The building is in great condition, and I just need a couple of walls put in to create treatment rooms and a reception area.” She poured herself a full glass and took a long, slow drink like it was the nectar of the gods.

It would damn well have to be at that price. But at least she looked like she was enjoying it. “Jen’s confident she can get it done in four days,” Lori said, “and she got a cancelation, so she’s starting on Monday. With any luck, you could be officially moving in by the middle of August.”

“That’s fast,” Rosie said to Ellery. “Your landlord must be nice.”

Ellery nodded. “I’ve paid up until the end of the month, but we were in contract negotiations, and he’s been kind enough not to insist on any notice.”

“Should we take a table,” Lennie said in a way that clearly wasn’t a question.

“You’re right; we’ve kept you long enough,” Lori said when Ellery didn’t respond. “Have a lovely evening. And I’ll see you next week, Ellery.”

Ellery seemed to force a smile. “I arranged to come over mid-week and see how Jen’s doing. Is that okay with you?”

“Absolutely.” Lori got up from her stool to hug Ellery; she looked like she needed one. “We’ve got a few youth groups coming in, but I’ve got some new college volunteers, and I’ll be able to step away for a while. And Mom will be there too. She’s looking forward to seeing you again.”

“Great. I’ll combine it with a follow-up on Cash.” Ellery picked up her ice bucket. “I’m assuming he’s doing well?”

“No boring work talk.” Lennie placed her hand on Ellery’s shoulder then gave a smile that looked more like a grimace. “It’s a rule.” Then she literally pulled Ellery away.

Rosie clutched Lori’s arm. “If I ever get involved with someone like that and for some reason can’t see how toxic they are, promise me that you’ll tell me.”

“You wouldn’t listen.”

“I would. I definitely would,” Rosie said.

Lori shook her head. “It’s like she’s got her claws dug in so deep, Ellery can’t get them out. You’ve known her for longer than I have; why doesn’t she dump the leech?”

Rosie whistled. “Ooh, it’s not like you to gossip or cast judgment.”

Lori put her hand over her mouth. “I know, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. You’re right, and I don’t have the answer.”

“She looks so unhappy,” Lori said. “Is that what I looked like all those years?”

Rosie swirled the stick in her drink, which Lori took as an affirmative answer.

“But it’s not what you look like now.” Rosie clinked her glass to Lori’s and took a drink.

Lori blew out a long breath, and regret flooded her soul. “I never thought that I’d be someone who wasted years of my life in an unhappy relationship.”

“You always have such a lot happening in your life. Sometimes it’s hard to see what’s going on when you’re so deeply enmeshed in it.”

“Mm. I won’t be making that mistake again. Spending time with Gabe has made me see what a good relationship could look like, and that’s what I want. That’s what I deserve.”

Rosie raised her glass. “Hell, yeah, I’ll drink to that.”

Lori drank the last of her mojito and ordered another round. Her phone vibrated, and she checked the message.

We’re having a few beers after the game. If u and Rosie are still out, do u want to join us? Or we could join u?

She slid her cell over to Rosie for her to read the message. “Shall we? Shay will be with her.”

Rosie grinned wickedly. “You don’t need to ask me twice,” she said then held up her finger. “But if Shay’s with someone or she starts putting the moves on someone, we’re out of there, right? I don’t want to see that.”

“Definitely.” As she fired off a response to Gabe, she thought about what Rosie had just said. What if someone came on to Gabe? Or worse, if Gabe spotted someone she liked, and she took her home. Maybe joining them wasn’t such a great idea after all.