Chapter Thirty

GUNNER

I 'm not sure how long I stare at the blank screen, the image of my sister seared into my brain. I'm barely holding myself together after seeing her again after so long. Grief wells up in me from deep in my soul, where it has taken root since the day I lost her, but along with it comes acceptance that she's still around, still protecting me.

It's like being given a precious gift.

"It's not a curse, it's a gift." I hate that she would even think otherwise. While Ellis might doubt Rue, I embrace her ability. "There is no doubt in my mind that if you hadn't saved me, I would be dead right now."

I flex my shoulders, the weight of the tattoo on my back a welcoming ache that makes me feel closer to both Maggie and Rue. Turning away from the blank screen, I peer at Rue still cuddled on the bed. "My sister… Can I see her?"

"I don't know," Rue says, her face scrunched up uncertainly. "I'd have to check the journals."

I don't miss the worry darkening her teal eyes. I take a step toward her, wanting to bundle her up in my arms. "What's wrong?"

"It takes a lot of energy for a spirit to take form." She leans forward, and Jace quickly places his hands on her hips to steady her. I'm not sure if he's trying to keep her in his lap or away from his dick.

And Rue is completely oblivious.

I could almost sympathize with him…if I wasn't so insanely jealous. I love these fuckers like they are my brothers, and I want nothing more than their happiness, but that doesn't stop me from wanting that for myself.

For the first time in my life, I feel it's possible…with Rue.

The ache along my back reminds me that Rue cares.

It's enough.

For now.

If she ever wants more, I will do everything in my power to make sure she never regrets her decision.

My eyes drop toward her tablet and the hidden image of my sister. As much as I want to talk to my sister again, I would never do anything to jeopardize her safety. "I understand."

That doesn't mean I'm not disappointed.

For so long, she was the only one who loved me.

I just want to thank her and tell her how much she means to me. Even though I was born to save her life, she saved mine instead.

"But…" Rue looks down at her hands, clenching and unclenching them until her knuckles whiten. Hope surges through my chest. I'm not sure I'm even breathing as I lean toward her, afraid that I might miss her next words.

"While you might not be able to see her, I could contact her…communicate with her." She hurries to continue before I can blurt out my answer. "I can't guarantee it will work. She might be too exhausted. Reaching the other side doesn't always go as expected."

Shadows move through her eyes, turning them dark and stormy, and my excitement dims at her caution. "Will it put her in any danger?"

The last thing I want to do is put my sister at risk.

Maggie has already sacrificed enough for me.

Rue nibbles on her bottom lip, the sight threatening to distract me, but she's lost in her head. "She should be fine, as long as we strengthen the wards on the house first. The only spirits who can enter are the ones invited."

"Should?" I say slowly, not sure I want to take the chance, but if this is my last opportunity to talk to her, I would never forgive myself.

Rue blinks as if remembering we're still in the room, then she shrugs. "Contacting the other side always comes with risks. Spirits can't linger without energy. When I summon them, they will be able to use my energy. Unfortunately, my power will call others like a beacon.

"Most spirits pass to the other side the instant they die. Some fight the pull, but they fade after a day or two. Those who died violently or suffered usually linger longer. Some don't realize they are dead and they fight the hardest, not ready to give up on living."

When she doesn't continue, I take a seat at the bottom of the bed, needing to see her face. I'm conscious of the guys watching us, wavering between belief and doubt, but I have none.

I don't believe in much.

The guys.

My sister.

Now Rue.

If she says she can do it, then she can do it.

It's that simple.

She's keeping something from me, though, and I don't like it. "What aren't you telling us?"

She purses her lips, a mutinous look sparking in her eyes, and I know I'm right. With a heavy sigh, she traces a pattern on the comforter, her voice soft. "Some spirits are able to steal energy from the living, using them like a battery. Energy equals power in their world."

"And some asshole will always want more power, no matter the cost," I finish for her, my gut sinking with dread. "Will you be at risk?"

"Not—"

"Don't lie to us, pookie," James interrupts, his hand coming to rest on her wrist with a gentle squeeze.

Her shoulders slump, and she shrugs noncommittally. "Not really, but spirits aren't natural to this world. I'm hidden by wards, but once word spreads that I can communicate with the dead, they'll come for me."

"Who?" Jace scowls down at Rue, absently twirling his ring around and around his finger, and we all turn toward her as we await her answer.

"The dead." Her eyes are clear as she speaks, not a hint of fear on her face, but I have enough for both of us.

I shove to my feet and pace away from the bed, my heart feeling like it's trying to escape my chest. "No, we're not doing this. I forbid it."

I'm not aware of stomping back and forth across her room, struggling to control my rage, until she suddenly appears in front of me. I stop so abruptly it's only James grabbing the back of my shirt that stops me from plowing into her. "Wha?—"

"I don't have much formal training with my abilities. What I learned is all by trial and error. Nan left me books to study, ways to keep us both safe." She places a hand on my chest, right over my heart, and I swear it leaps at her touch, as if sensing her nearness.

"One thing I have learned over the years is that it's more dangerous not to use my powers than it is to use them. The more they are repressed, the more they build and threaten to escape my control. The more training I have, the safer I'll be."

She places her hands on her hips, lifting her stubborn chin, a bullheaded glint shimmering in her eyes. "As much as I might wish otherwise, there is no escaping this life. It's what I believe ultimately drove my mother insane. I've been holding off on using my abilities since I arrived, but the spirits will find me, eventually."

A sad, rueful smile crosses her lips, but I don't miss the resigned look in her eyes. "They always do."

My skin tingles at her nearness, but it's not enough.

It will never be enough.

I want everything.

"If we do this…" I swallow hard, unable to force the words out. I shake my head, done with the distance between us. Stepping toward her, I invade her space, only able to breathe again when I inhale her smoky scent. I slip my hand around her neck and drag her closer, my thumb brushing over the fast cadence of her pulse—a reassurance that she's alive and well.

I crowd even closer, not caring if I'm intimidating her. My voice is a rough growl when I manage to speak again. "Nothing happens without us. I swear if you don't obey me, I'll toss you over my knee and spank you. Understand?"

Rue's eyes widen to saucers, and her throat moves as she swallows hard. I'm not sure when my hand slipped around her throat or when I pinned her to the wall. Violence has always been a living, breathing thing inside me. I should be horrified, but something in my brain short-circuited.

Something about seeing her pinned beneath me, knowing that I'm in control of her, has my dick so hard that pre-cum leaks from it. I rest my other hand on the door next to her head, then lean down until the only air she can breathe is mine. "We will discuss how we will proceed tomorrow, after we have a chance to look over the journals and make sure it's safe."

My thumb caresses her pounding pulse, the throb nearly matching the one in my dick. I push my hand up her neck until she has no choice but to look right at me. "Understand?"

The weight of the word is heavy in the room, and I narrow my eyes on her pouty lips, waiting for her to speak the only word I will accept.

She licks her bottom lip, never taking her attention off me, then she murmurs the only word I want to hear from her sweet lips. "Yes."

I hesitate a moment longer, not wanting to let her go, only ceding when she presses her hand once more over my heart, right where it belongs. "I promise."

It takes a conscious effort to release her and step back, but I don't go far.

Because of my size, I'm usually extra careful around women, my movements slow and gentle so I don't freak them out. I'm always in control, holding back for fear of accidentally hurting them.

That's not possible with Rue.

She makes me feel too much, not allowing me to hold anything back.

I should be terrified, but it's mixed with a strange sort of exhilaration as well. I love seeing my hands on her, knowing that she is mine to do with what I want.

James is hovering at our sides like some strange ghoul. His eyes are hard as he watches us—watches me—ready to drag me away if she's in the least bit of danger.

He would never allow anything to happen to her.

I should be pissed, but I'm grateful for his caution.

It allows me a freedom that I've never had before.

The adrenaline rush is addicting, almost the same as stepping into a ring, knowing I'm going to annihilate my opponent, only this is infinitely better.

When a wicked smile crosses the fucker's lips, it's like an invitation to smash his face in before he can speak. Just as I grab for Jameson, he dances out of reach.

"Now that was hot." His smirk is both taunting and playful.

A heavy sigh sounds behind us, and I'm not sure if it's from Ellis or Jace.

"What?" James protests, looking at each of the guys in complete bafflement, then he huffs and rolls his eyes. "Like you assholes weren't thinking the same thing."

He's not wrong.

I can never go back to looking at Rue without seeing my hand around her throat and wanting that again. Though slightly terrified by my visceral reaction to her, I'm not the least bit surprised.

Rue is mine.

I'm not releasing my claim on her.

If the others want her, then they are going to have to learn how to share.