Chapter 29

Delilah stuffed the last of her clothes into the suitcase, trying to make the most of the bittersweet moment. She should be more excited about getting a permanent position, even if working in the finance sector wasn't her passion. But this move would be a fresh start—at least that's what she kept telling herself. But she couldn't feel it. She ignored the sense that it was more of a death than a new life. What other choice did she have?

At the soft knock on her door, she closed her eyes. She'd told Luca she'd be leaving in the morning. He was being brave about it, but she knew he was taking it hard.

"It's unlocked," she called out, remaining by her bed. She'd already cried plenty of tears and didn't want to have to keep getting emotional about everything.

She heard the door close as she zipped up her bag. They'd say goodbye in the morning. She didn't want to have to do it twice. Once was going to be hard enough.

After taking a deep breath, she walked out of her room and stopped.

Samson's face was hard as a rock and cold. He was leaning on a cane, but he still looked as well built as he always had. The way people talked about him, he could probably kill fifty men with that cane right where he stood.

"Uh, hi," she said. "I thought you were Luca." She clasped her hands in front of her, then released them, unsure what to do.

"I saw him downstairs. He told me you were up here."

"Yeah. I'm on my way out, actually. Leaving town."

"Right now?"

"In the morning."

"Oh."

"I got a job."

"Where?"

"New York."

He looked at the floor, and his brows pushed together like he was searching for something.

"You're looking good," she said, keeping her feet planted. "Are the doctors still expecting a full recovery?" She knew they were. Trevors had called her the week before. He'd also told her what Samson had said about his time in captivity and what he'd done to bring down the building.

"Yeah." He lifted his cane. "Not there yet, though."

"I'm glad everything worked out."

"Mostly."

"Right." She clenched her teeth to brace herself for what she expected him to say. It would be better if he said it and left instead of standing so stiffly. "You can say what you came here to say. I deserve it. And I'm sure you have better things to do with your time than to waste it here."

"What do you think I should say?"

"That I betrayed you, and you almost lost your daughter."

"Almost."

Delilah swiped at a tear that slipped down her cheek. "I would say sorry, but words are pretty inadequate."

" Are you sorry?"

"What? Of course I am. I didn't—I'm so ashamed of what I did. I was so scared to lose Luca, but to give up Riley… Every time I think about it, it makes me sick."

"But she's okay now."

Delilah nodded. "Good. That's good. I've been praying for her."

"Have you?"

"Yeah. I know that probably sounds stupid, but I remember you saying you believed in God."

"I do. You said you weren't sure."

"I wasn't. But I am now."

"What changed your mind?"

"Everything that's happened. I realized how lost I was, and I didn't know who else to turn to."

"Smart."

"I'm lucky He's so generous with His grace."

"We all are. Riley says thanks, by the way."

"What?"

"She'd like to tell you herself, but she's shy. I promised her I'd let you know when I saw you."

"I only did what I had to."

"She'd be dead if it wasn't for you."

"She also wouldn't have been kidnapped if it wasn't for me. And you wouldn't have gone through what you did."

"I know Marc would have killed Luca if you hadn't."

"Why are you making excuses for me? You told me your biggest secret, and I betrayed you. I chose Luca's life over hers."

"No, you didn't."

"Uh, yes. That's exactly what I did."

"You used the information you had in order to save Luca. The only time you exchanged one life for another was when you risked your life to save hers."

"I don't understand what's going on right now."

"I forgive you, if that's what you need to hear."

"Why don't you hate me?"

"I did for a second. Then my perspective changed."

"I don't deserve this."

Samson took a couple of labored steps closer. "Delilah, I didn't deserve to make it out of that explosion alive. I gave my life to stop Demir. But for some reason, God spared me. He gave me a second chance, and I can't deny anyone else that same opportunity if they're willing to take it."

She cleared her throat. "I'm not sure what it is you're trying to say."

He stepped closer. "We've both done things in our lives that we regret. I don't want this to be another one."

"What do you mean by ‘this'?"

"You."

"What about me don't you want to regret?" She struggled to get her voice to come out above a whisper.

"Letting you go."

"I—"

"If you don't feel the same, I completely understand. This is a lot."

"Do you have to sit down? I have to sit down." She went to the couch.

"Are you okay?"

Nothing made sense. She was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Samson couldn't really mean the words he was saying. "I'm confused. Are you saying all of this so you can pull the rug out from underneath me?"

"No. I'm being totally honest and vulnerable with you right now. And I'm okay with that. Probably for the first time in my life. But I can go if you need me to."

"How can you be okay with what I did? How can you want to even be with me again?"

"You didn't know what you were in the middle of. I brought you close to me at a time when Demir wanted to destroy me. It was because of me that you were put in that position. Any other time, none of that would have happened."

"You can't seriously be blaming yourself."

"I'm blaming bad circumstances that God used for good. There was no way you could have known Marc was going to try to kill me when you told him about my knife thing."

"But I knew he could hurt Riley."

"Did you? Were you even thinking at all?"

"I don't know. But I can't even tell you how much I regret it."

"And I've done a lot of things in my life that I'm not proud of. Things that make me cringe when I think about them. I'm disgusted with myself, but God's forgiven me, and I've made a decision to change my life. You said you've found God, so you must have decided the same thing."

"I have." Her voice quivered.

"I'm not asking you to be my girlfriend, but I would like the chance to get to know you. Probably for the first time. We've both changed. I want to see what that looks like for us."

"I suppose that will look very different."

"And thank goodness for it. The first time I saw you, you gave me the dirtiest look." He chuckled.

"I did."

"The man I was then took that as a challenge. I thought if I could get you into bed, then I could make you take back that look. But really, I was trying to prove to myself that I had any worth, because I didn't feel like I did. And somehow, you saw that. I could hide my hurt from everyone but you."

He slid a pile of magazines aside on the coffee table and sat in front of her, taking her hands in his. "If you were anyone else, I wouldn't be here. But you're the first woman I've ever known who has seen me for what I am. Both the good and the bad. I can't let that go without trying to salvage it. Because in the end, after everything I've been through, it appears that, after discovering all my weaknesses, you're one of my greatest strengths."

She bit down on her trembling lip. "I don't know what to say."

"All I need to know is if I can take you out sometime."

"I want to say yes, but I'm moving to New York."

He nodded. "I wouldn't want to take that away from you. After everything that's happened, all I really want is for you to be happy. If this job will make you happy, then know I'll be praying for you."

"It's a terrible job, actually. I don't want it, but they're the first ones who offered me a position, and I can't waitress for the rest of my life."

He bit down on a smile. "So, are you saying that, if you got a better job offer, you'd be happy to take something else?"

"I'd be happy to take just about anything else."

"I don't know if you know this, but I have a lot of contacts and a lot of clout."

She laughed, unsure what to make of the relief that flooded her. "Of course you do."

"And I feel like Luca would be ecstatic if you hung around town more permanently. He's looking pretty forlorn down there."

"He's devastated I'm leaving, actually."

"He's your cousin. You should look after him better. He needs you."

"He does, does he?"

"Absolutely."

"You could really help me find a job?"

"Just tell me what sector you want to work in."

"I only want the introduction. If they want to hire me, I want it to be on my own merits, not who I know."

"Don't you understand business at all? It's always about who you know."

"Still. I want them to want me there."

"I'm sure we'll find something." He lifted her hand and kissed her fingers. "You want to go get a bite to eat? I'm starving, and I hear the pork fritters here are to die for."

"After everything that's happened, you couldn't find a better word than ‘die'?"

"You don't think they're good?"

"The fritters are great. Your word choice is lacking."

"You're killing me."

She tsked. "Seriously?"

"All right, all right." He pulled her up from the couch. "We'll go tell Luca the good news that you're staying and grab a bite. Kill two birds with one stone."

She bumped him with her shoulder, and he pretended to trip, catching himself with his cane.

"Oh my gosh." She grabbed him. "Are you okay? I'm so sorry."

"I'm fine. You're the one who's a killjoy."

She groaned. "You'll be the death of me."

"I'm already a dead man walking."

"I think this is a fate worse than death." She laughed. "I shouldn't be having this much fun."

He pulled her to a stop when they reached the door. "Why not?"

"I don't know. I think I gave up on it after so much heartache."

"You think that's what God wants for your life? Misery?"

"No, actually I don't."

"Good, 'cause I'm ready to live again."

"You'll be the life of the party."

He pulled her out the door. "Life is a rollercoaster."

"No more living in a bubble."

"Let's go live life to the fullest."

"I'm definitely up for that."

"Good. Me too."