Chapter 27

CHAPTER 27

Regan

M y lungs screaming and my thighs burning, I attacked the fabric dummy in front of me again, hacking and slicing at it until there wasn’t a space on it that didn’t bear the mark of my sword.

I backed away, panting heavily, and let my sword fall to my side. After Galan and I had sparred, they had not taken my sword, and it was almost embarrassing how happy I was to have it back.

I swung it idly back and forth as I stared at the destroyed sparring dummy. I’d woken early, and the quiet had alerted me immediately of the storm’s end. Dismay had seeped into every bone.

I showered and slipped out of the apartment two hours before I usually would. I didn’t wake Lomax. I couldn’t say goodbye but I couldn’t spend more time with her, knowing we would soon be separated. I studied her beautiful face while she slept, memorizing every part before pressing one final kiss against her forehead and telling myself this clean break was necessary. We would have another few days while they cleared the snow, but I needed those days in solitude to mourn the loss of my mate. If I didn’t control my emotions when I returned home, Eastolf would sense my weakness. Another surge of anger and despair washed over me, and I raised my sword to attack the dummy again. My swing faltered when I heard Krey behind me.

“I believe you have sufficiently destroyed the dummy, my friend.”

I lowered my sword, turning to nod to Krey and Galan, who stood in the empty training room.

“You are here early,” Galan said. “Training does not start for another hour.”

I didn’t reply, crossing the room and grabbing a cloth to polish my sword. They followed me, and Krey nudged Galan. “Our friend here is -”

“I am not your friend,” I snapped.

Silence followed, and I set my sword down and sank onto the bench pushed up against the wall. Staring at the floor, I rasped, “Forgive me.”

The two Draax flanked me on the bench. Galan stretched his legs out, and I studied his dark boots as he said, “Tell us what troubles you, Regan.”

“It is nothing you can solve,” I said.

Krey shrugged. “It does not mean it will not help to speak of it to us.”

I opened my mouth to tell him I didn’t wish to share and instead said, “I am in love with Lomax, and she is my mate, but she does not feel the same for me. Now that the storm is over, she will return to Earth, and I will never see her again.”

“Are you certain she does not love you?” Galan asked.

“And that she will return to Earth?” Krey asked.

“Yes to both,” I said.

Galan and Krey glanced at each other, and I frowned. “What?”

Krey shrugged. “We have seen your mate with you often over the last few weeks, and she does not act like she is not in love with you.”

“She cares for me,” I said, “but it is not love. And even if it were…”

“What?” Galan asked.

“Nothing,” I said. Despite what I'd said, I had a great deal of respect for Galan and Krey and considered them my friends. Though they probably already realized this, I couldn’t admit I was not worthy of being Lomax’s mate, not after what I’d done, or rather hadn’t done, in the name of serving my king.

“Tell us,” Krey encouraged.

I couldn’t, but I could share another worry I carried. “Even if Lomax loved me and agreed to stay, she would not be happy in the eastern province, especially in Eastolf’s castle. It is not,” I hesitated, “how it is here. Far from it.”

“I imagine it is not. Eastolf does not care for his people,” Krey said.

“He does not,” I admitted.

“If Lomax did agree to stay with you, I could speak to Quill about you joining the guard here,” Galan said. “I know it is not the head of the guard, but you are valued here, and your work with the recruits could continue as it has. Quill would be happy to have you on his king’s guard.”

I stared at him, surprised but grateful for his offer, and he gave me an uncomfortable look. “I have insulted you.”

“No,” I said, “I deeply appreciate your offer, but I cannot stay. Eastolf may not be as honourable as Quill, but he is my king, and I swore an oath to protect him.”

We sat silently for a few minutes before I said, “I will be leaving soon, and I want to thank you for your friendship. It has meant a lot to me the last month.”

The silence turned thick and uncomfortable, and I glanced at Krey and then Galan. “What is wrong?”

Krey sighed, picking at a loose thread on his pants before looking me in the eye. “We are your friends, Regan, and we are glad to have built this friendship with you and hope it continues for many years, but you deserve to know the truth.”

“The truth,” I repeated.

Krey nodded, and while he looked unhappy and ashamed, he continued to look me in the eye as he said, “We began this friendship with you in the hopes that perhaps we could use it to convince you to speak to the other kings about what Eastolf did to my mate and his attempts to gain power however he can.”

I didn’t reply, and Galan said, “It may have started with that intention, but it does not end that way, Regan. We value our friendship with you, and I promise we will never ask you to speak against your king. We want you to know the truth because we are ashamed we considered using you in such a manner.”

When I remained silent, Krey said, “We understand if you never speak to us again.”

I laughed, the sound a little bitter in the room's silence. “The two of you are my only friends, and you expect me to lose you both over something I would have done if the roles were reversed?”

Galan gripped my shoulder, squeezing it lightly. “We are ashamed of our actions, Regan, but we truly believed we were doing the right thing.”

“I know,” I said. “And I know it makes me a coward to -”

“No,” Krey said abruptly. “You are far from a coward, Regan.”

“But you should know that even our friendship will not stop us from doing what we can to reveal Eastolf’s true nature to the other kings,” Galan said. “We cannot. He is dangerous and needs to be stopped.”

What he said was true, so I simply nodded and said, “I wish you luck in this, Galan.”

Galan squeezed my shoulder again as Krey grinned. “So, now that we have apologized and you are not trying to remove our heads from our shoulders - you owe me a bottle of wine, by the way, Galan - let us put our heads together and figure out how to keep your pretty little mate by your side.”

I shook my head, fresh sorrow washing over me. “I appreciate your offer, but Lomax is leaving me, and the sooner I accept that, the better.”

* * *

Lomax

I paused at the training room doors, my heart hammering away as I listened to the faint sounds of swords ringing and the grunts of the Draax who wielded them.

I wasn’t supposed to go into this room, and while it may have been more prudent for me to wait until lunch when Regan and I could speak alone, I couldn’t wait. The storm ending and his failure to wake me up this morning had flooded me with panic. I had to talk to him now.

I pulled open the doors, the sound of fighting swelling as I stepped inside. The room was large and filled with sparring Draax, but my gaze zeroed in on Regan almost immediately. He was on the far side of the room, his naked upper body glistening with sweat, one big hand gripping his sword.

He sparred with a Draax I didn’t recognize, and I watched his back muscles flex, my stomach swooping and diving with fear as they fought. Christ, they didn’t hold back, and I reminded myself that Regan was perfectly safe. Despite what he thought, I knew he was the best warrior in the room.

With a quick slash of his sword, he lunged forward and sent the other Draax’s sword clattering to the ground. His opponent growled in frustration before bending to pick up his sword.

I started across the room, weaving through the sparring Draax, not caring that it was dangerous and that one wayward sword could cut me in half. I needed to talk to Regan. I needed to see his perfect face and feel his arms around me.

As I made my way across the room, the Draax around me stopped fighting. I could feel the weight of their surprised stares, but I moved forward steadily, my eyes glued to Regan’s back.

I had no trouble hearing him in the suddenly quiet room. “Ilna, you have much improved, but you still make it too easy for your opponent to predict your next move.”

Before I could say a word, his big body stiffened, and his head came up. He inhaled deeply but didn’t turn around, his hand tightening around his sword handle until his knuckles turned white and his tail lashed back and forth.

“Regan,” I said.

He didn’t reply, and I swallowed the fear in my throat. “Regan, please look at me.”

He sheathed his sword without turning and said, “The storm is over, small one. Our time together is done.”

“So that’s it?” I asked. “You won’t look at me now? Won’t even say goodbye.”

His body trembled violently, and his tail whacked hard against the floor, but he said, “It is for the best.”

“No,” I said. “I won’t let you do this.”

“You need to leave,” he said.

I stepped closer and rested my hand against his back, thankful he didn’t pull away. “Please, Regan. Look at me.”

His body still visibly trembling, he turned slowly. His beautiful silver eyes were dark with emotion, and his scar stood out in a stark white line against the dark green flush of his skin. My uncertainty vanished in an instant. Regan was my mate, and I loved him. Why did it take me this long to realize it? I didn’t know, and I no longer cared. All that mattered was spending the rest of my life with the sweet, kind, courageous warrior before me.

“Don’t ask me to leave you, my mate,” I said.

His nostrils flared, and his eyes widened. When I jumped at him, he caught me and crushed me against his warm, solid chest. I wrapped my legs around his waist and hugged him hard, kissing his throat before whispering into his ear. “You’re my mate. I can’t leave you. I won’t leave you, Regan. I love you.”

His tail snapped around my hips, squeezing hard before he strode across the room, ignoring the rest of the guard. I didn’t say a word, just kept my face buried in his throat as he carried me through the castle corridors.

He took me straight to his apartment, and I clung to him, shaking my head when he tried to set me down once he’d closed the door. He sat down on the couch, and straddling him, I cupped his face and kissed him.

The touch of his lips, the familiar taste of him when I’d thought I might lose him forever, brought on tears. He wiped them away with his thumbs. “Do not cry, sadora.”

“I love you,” I said. “I love you, Regan.”

“I love you too,” he said, but the sorrow on his face brought back the burn of panic in my belly.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“We cannot be together, Lomax,” he said.

“We can!” I gripped his head, threading my fingers through his thick hair and resting my forehead against his. “I love you. I don’t care about my old job and don’t want to return to Earth. I want to stay here with you. I swear it.”

“I have to return to the eastern province,” he said.

“I know. I’ll go with you.”

“You would leave your friends here?” he asked.

I stared at him. “You’re my mate, Regan. I will go wherever you go.”

He looked away. “I am not deserving of your love, sadora. You need a mate who -”

“I need you,” I said. “You’re the best man I know, Regan, and you deserve my love, just like I deserve yours. We’re perfect for each other.”

“You do not know who I really am,” he said, his throat struggling to swallow. “You do not know what I have done for my king. How often I have stayed silent when he has lied and cheated and hurt others in his bid for power. I am not a good person.”

“You are. Are you perfect? No, but neither am I. Loyalty to your king, to someone who is your friend, even when he doesn’t deserve it, doesn’t make you a bad person, honey. It makes you,” I gave him a small smile, “human.”

I kissed him hard before making him look at me. “You don’t have to be perfect, okay? And no matter what you think, you are a good person. You have proved that repeatedly and -”

“I hurt Madison,” he said hoarsely. “She almost died because of me.”

“That isn’t what Madison told me. She said you saved her life.”

He looked away, and I kissed his cheek and stroked his chest. “She told me what happened to her, Regan. I know what Eastolf did and that you were there.”

His body shuddered beneath mine, and he looked so miserable that I immediately snuggled even closer, rubbing his back and pressing kisses against his mouth. “Honey, it’s okay.”

“It is not,” he said. “I should have told you what happened instead of hiding it from you, but I was afraid you would…”

I gave him an encouraging look. “I would what?”

“Hate me,” he said.

“Never,” I said. “I love you, Regan. Always and forever.”

He studied me, his big hands cupping my waist as I leaned in and kissed him. “You’re stuck with me now, whether you like it or not.”

He smiled. “There is nothing I want more, my sadora.”

“Good. Then we go to the eastern province together,” I said.

His face twisted. “It is not the same as it is here, Lomax. I need you to know exactly what it is like before you choose to go with me.”

“Okay,” I said. “Tell me.”

“Eastolf does not believe females should be anything but our mates. You will not be able to work there. Only about a dozen women live in Eastolf’s castle, and their mates tend to keep them away from the others.”

“Because they’re worried another Draax will hurt them?” I asked.

He gave me a stunned look. “No, my mate, all females are precious. The Draax would never hurt them.”

“Eastolf hurt Madison,” I said.

“If he had known what fate would befall her, he would not have left her alone with the Korceans,” Regan said. “His mistake was trusting the Korceans would honour their agreement.”

At my look of skepticism, he cupped my face and said, “Eastolf may not be the person he once was, but not even he would deliberately hurt a little female. I promise you.”

“So why do they hide them away?” I asked.

“Eastolf can be erratic in his moods, and most Draax living in the castle avoid him. We are protective of our mates, and while Eastolf would not physically harm them, his tongue can be sharp, and he has never been one to hide what he thinks, not even when we were children.”

So he’s a dick, I wanted to say, but I didn’t. Like I told Madison, if Regan believed there was good in Eastolf, then I trusted that he was right, even if everything pointed to Eastolf being a colossal sized asshole.

“The castle is not as,” Regan paused, “cheerful as this one, and my reserved nature and duties as head of the guard mean I do not spend much time with others. There will be no evenings spent with others sharing a meal and playing jorken, small one.”

“That’s okay,” I said. “I’m an introvert, remember? Besides, I’ll try to get to know some of the other women, which could lead to new friendships.”

“Perhaps,” he said.

He still looked worried, and I smoothed the small lines between his eyebrows. “What else aren’t you telling me?”

His hands tightened on my waist, and his tail thumped against the couch. “Eastolf has forbidden those who live in the castle to mate with a female who is not breeding compatible.”

“Do we have to tell him?” I asked.

“No, but he will probably ask, and I will not ask you to lie for me, sadora.”

“You’re not asking me to lie. I’m offering to do it,” I said. “My reproductive system isn’t any of his goddamn business anyway, so he can be fed a lie and like it.”

“And when we do not have children?” he asked.

I shrugged and wiggled my eyebrows at him. “We’ll just tell him it isn’t for lack of trying.”

He didn’t smile, and as my stomach started to churn, I said, “Do you want kids, Regan?”

“You know I do not,” he said.

“You’re sure?” I asked.

“I am positive,” he said firmly.

“Then we won’t worry about what Eastolf thinks,” I said. “I’m your mate, and I love you, Regan. That’s all that matters to me, okay?”

He nodded and held me close, pressing a kiss into my hair. “I love you too, sadora.”