Chapter 1

Kenna

The downward spiral of my charmed life started with an innocent email on a Monday afternoon.

Dear Mrs. Cugly, Thank you for your recent holiday purchase. As always, twice yearly cleaning of all the jewelry purchased from Louis Lavigne is completely complimentary. We hope you enjoy your new bracelet.

It was a very nice email. Kind. Grammatically correct even. The only problem was that I hadn't purchased a bracelet from the store where my wedding ring came from.

At first I figured it was just a mistake. They'd sent the email to the wrong customer. Then, when I couldn't get the little voice in the back of my head to shut up about it, I left work early and headed straight for their flagship store in downtown San Francisco. How cliché would it be if I found out my husband of over a decade was cheating on me? I'd almost laughed when I got out of my car and headed for the double glass doors, shiny baubles winking at me from behind the thick windows of the store.

I'd played dumb and asked the sales person to show me how to use the clasp. Of course, I claimed to have forgotten the bracelet at home and could she demonstrate on a bracelet just like it? She did, producing a tennis bracelet lined with diamonds that looked as hard as the newly formed shell around my heart. There was no mistake.

I hadn't purchased that bracelet and my husband had not gifted me with one at Christmas. I'd gotten a Kindle, which was wonderful and exactly what I wanted. Now I knew I should have asked for something a little higher up the price scale.

That truth bomb had led to an epic fight that night, which led to Justin slamming the door on his way out of our tenth-floor condo with a view of the San Francisco Bay. My husband, fraternity president and man voted most likely to become president one day, hadn't come back all week. I could only guess he was staying with whomever was wearing that bracelet. I buried myself in work and copious amounts of coffee to keep myself going.

"Where the hell is my umbrella?" I muttered under my breath.

I couldn't be late to work today. It was my big presentation. The one that I hoped would land me a managerial position in the publishing company I'd worked for straight out of college. Maybe one day the sign on the building would even say Morgan, Dudly, and Cugly once I made partner. I winced. Okay, maybe I wouldn't add my name if I became a partner.

The living room looked like I got robbed and I still came up empty. I tried to blink my eyes but found I couldn't. I'd been using so much Visine to keep the red eyes at bay from crying myself to sleep at night, I had no natural eye fluid left.

"Forget it," I mumbled, grabbing my bag and rushing out the door. The weatherman had called for mostly sunny skies anyway, which was a rarity around here, even in late spring. My pasty-white Irish skin could use some sun exposure. Perhaps some vitamin D would help my mood.

I stumbled over the welcome mat, looking down to see a manilla envelope on the ground with my name on it. It now had a size-eight footprint on the top of it too. Dread hit me so hard I felt like I was having an out-of-body experience. I snatched it up and jammed it in my messenger bag, racing to the elevators and hoping to forget about it until a time when I could focus.

"Good morning, Liz." I sailed into the office right on time and dumped my coat on my chair. I had my own office, though I shared a wall with the men's restroom which was as awful as it sounded. Liz Davis, my best friend, shared the wall on the other side of my office. Her chair squeaked as she got up and stuck her head in my doorway.

"All ready for today?" Liz's dark brown hair was tucked behind her ears. She'd worn a familiar blue blouse and black slacks to work today. "Wearing my blue to cheer you on. All those losers wearing red won't know what hit them."

Our office was highly competitive, a culture trait I admired and used to my advantage, spurring me on to reach for new heights in my career. Ashley, my work nemesis, was tall, blonde, and younger than me. She wore red to match her painted lips and used her body to get ahead whenever possible. I didn't mind being beaten, but not because someone was cheating. Sadly, not everyone in the office felt the same way and decided to align themselves with her, represented by the red attire they wore.

Thankfully, management was usually pretty fair in their assessment of who made a better presentation. Ashley and I were split down the middle on accounts we'd landed. But now there was a managerial position open and I wanted it. Nine years I'd been here. Ashley only had three under her size-extra-small belt.

And I had a newfound hatred for cheaters of all kinds.

My eyes filled with fresh tears and Liz began to flap her hands in worry. I sucked in a deep breath and pushed all those feelings about my husband into a steel box and locked it away. Today was about me.

The phone on my desk rang and I snatched it up, hoping whomever was on the other end would provide the distraction I needed before I was due to give my presentation.

"Kenna Cugly."

"Kenna, honey?"

"Mom?" I sank into my chair and Liz sat opposite of me, her face a reflection of what I was feeling. Mom never called me at the office.

"I tried calling your phone, but it kept going to voicemail."

I winced. I'd turned it off last night after she'd called six times to check in on me. Telling her about Justin's infidelities had opened up a can of worms. Mom wasn't the fondest of the institution of marriage during the best of times, but now that a man had hurt her precious daughter? She'd gone into full-helicopter-parent mode, which felt smothering and bizarre.

"Sorry about that. What's up?"

"I just can't believe it," she moaned.

I rolled my eyes at Liz. "Yeah, I know. Me neither. Never thought I'd see the day Justin would do something like that."

There was a beat of silence. "Oh, yes, that too. But—Kenna, are you sitting down?"

That out-of-body feeling of dread came swooping back in. "Yes?"

"Your aunt Maeve passed away."

Pretty sure Mom said more, but the hand holding the phone dropped to my desk.

"Kenna?" Liz jumped up and rounded my desk, putting her arm around me. She took the phone from my hands and hit the speaker button. My head felt like it was no longer connected to my body. Not Aunt Maeve. She was my only surviving relative outside of Mom. I hadn't known her well, thanks to a decades-old feud between the sisters, but family was family.

"Ms. Ryan? This is Liz."

"Oh, hi, honey. Is Kenna okay? I didn't want to tell her over the phone, but time is of the essence. She needs to get out to Florida right away."

There was a knock on my doorway. Chris, my temporary manager, stuck his head in my office. "They're ready for you, Kenna."

I nodded somehow, which was impressive because I no longer felt like I had control over the muscles in my body. I stared at my hand, wondering how it had raised in the air. In the back of my head I wondered if I was in shock. Having a stroke maybe?

"She'll be right there!" Liz said brightly to Chris, squeezing my shoulders so hard I would have elbowed her off me if I could have lifted my arm.

"I gotta go, Mom," I mumbled, stumbling to my feet and grabbing my folder. A sheet of paper flew out, but I didn't have time to grab it. Surely it wasn't that important.

"Wait. Kenna." Liz hit the red button on my phone and hung up on my mother. "Take five minutes and just breathe, okay?"

Panic flooded in and suddenly I wasn't sure I could breathe given even several hours. "Nope. Don't have five minutes."

I spun on my heel and marched to the conference room, seeing the entire management team already sitting around the long table through the glass walls. There at the head of the table was Ashley, smoothing her hands down her bright red dress, hair perfectly coifed and fake eyelashes fanning the room.

Chris waved me to the head of the table too. I stepped up next to Ashley, giving her a smile around the waft of flowery perfume that made me want to vomit. Next to her I probably looked like a wrinkled-up pair of dirty underwear that somehow always found its way to the gutter of the streets in San Francisco. I always wondered how people lost their underwear.

"You go first, Ken," she said with a kindness that was as fake as her boobs.

"Thanks, Ash." I turned away from her and noticed Liz plugging my thumb drive into the laptop and firing up my slides, a small detail I'd forgotten. Thank God for best friends who will never let you down.

I went through my presentation, feeling pretty good about my dancing moles to help preschoolers learn to count. Hairy-tailed moles were an underrated animal and an unexplored mammal in education books. Perfect for this new project. When I sat down to allow for Ashley's presentation, I felt like I got a few head nods from management, which boded well for that promotion.

Ashley pointed to one of her slides, her slender arm pointing to a furry bear with...good God, was that genitalia? The men around the table began to murmur but my attention was on something else.

Ashley had a diamond bracelet around her bony wrist.

Identical to the one the sales lady had shown me at the jewelry store.

Sudden nausea had me lurching to my feet. Heads swiveled in my direction and Ashley's lips were still moving, but no sound hit my ears. The very air in this room was pressing in on my brain like a vise. I couldn't suck in a breath to save my life. Even my limbs were shaking as I tried to balance on my heels.

Chris tried to pull me back down to my seat, but all I could do was stare as our CEO walked up to Ashley and shook her hand, a lecherous grin on his alcohol-bloated face. Realization hit and I didn't know whether to cry or laugh. I'd lost my husband, my aunt, and my promotion, all in the same week.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

I looked around the room and noticed all eyes were now on me. Apparently I'd said that. Out loud. I almost let out an unhinged giggle at dropping an F-bomb in the conference room.

I pointed at the screen, voice rising. Was no one else seeing this shit? "Her cartoon characters have alien-sized genitalia! For a preschool education book!"

Chris moved in closer, but I dodged him. I had a desperation bubbling up inside of me that had nothing to do with this job and yet needed to come out. Right now. I locked eyes with our CEO who looked like he'd bit down on a bitter lemon.

"You want alien genitalia? I can genital my ass off, buddy. Prepare to be genitaled within six"—I gasped—"no, EIGHT inches of your life, gentlemen."

Ashley had the gall to gasp, the diamonds on her bracelet catching the light as she put her hand to her mouth.

"And you!" I was not anywhere close to being done. I pointed at her, fury giving my voice volume. "You house-wrecking whore!"

At this point, the managers had all gotten to their feet, each trying to usher me out the door, but I was faster than all of them. I danced around and spewed my displeasure until Liz wrapped her strong arms around me from behind and dragged me out the door. I kicked and screamed some more, but ultimately Liz got the better of me. She finally let me go when we got inside the walls of my office, eyeing me like I might rush back out there and stir up some more shit. She was right to watch me. I had so much shit I could stir for days and not take a break.

Chris rushed into my office, his face beet red and huffing like he'd personally ran up and down all twenty-eight flights of stairs to our offices to see me instead of just crossing the hall. "You're taking an un-paid sabbatical. Right now. Come back in sixty days a normal person or I won't be able to keep them from firing you, Kenna."

I nodded, because what else could I do? I'd just told my CEO I'd genital him within eight inches of his life. I'd fire me.

Liz and I both stared at the doorway after he'd left. She finally turned to me, eyes wide. "Wow, Kenna. I'm not sure if I should be scared or just damn proud."

I squeezed her hand, hoping she knew how much I appreciated her even when I couldn't get the words out. I'd had a lot of words a few minutes ago, but I was currently fresh out. A toilet flushed on the other side of my wall, breaking the silence. The symbolism didn't miss me. After nine years of busting my ass to move up the ranks, I'd just flushed my career down the toilet.

Grabbing my bag, I looked around my office. Several pictures of me and Justin were prominently displayed. The mug he'd given me one year on Valentine's Day. A snake plant I'd bought when he dragged me to Home Depot one too many times. None of it was anything I wanted to keep. I threw the strap of my bag over my shoulder and lifted my nose in the air.

"I'll call you when I get home. Stay here. You don't want to be tainted by walking next to me."

The walk of shame through the office was a silent one as everyone stared. Thankfully no one joined my elevator ride down to the first floor. The first full breath I'd taken all week happened the second I stepped outside of the tall glass skyscraper. Cars were zooming by in the rain and people were hurrying about their business with umbrellas covering their heads, having no clue that someone's life had just imploded. Mine. It was my life.

I held my hand out and watched the drops cover my palm. So much for sunny skies today.

"You're in shock, love," I whispered out loud.

I nodded, also aware that having conversations with myself was dangerous territory, but hell, I needed to hear a friendly voice, even if it was my own. I scurried to my car with my bag over my head, shielding me from most of the rain.

It was as I left the city that my car gave a lurch and began to lose speed. "You've got to be fucking kidding me!" I shouted, slamming my palm down on the steering wheel and veering off to the side of the road with flashers on and my dashboard displaying no less than three warning lights.

It wasn't the best neighborhood, so I called a tow service from inside the car with my doors locked. They were twenty minutes out, which seemed like an eternity when all I wanted to do was get home, put my sweats on, and eat a gallon of ice cream to keep from losing my shit entirely.

Two guys across the street were eyeing my car. I kept the phone to my ear. Why? I had no clue, but when they approached, I yelled something about speaking to the cop in charge, my heart racing. My pretend phone call with the cops didn't deter these two fellas who looked like they dropped out of school to lead a rougher life that included scaring women on the side of the road. They crept behind my car and I spun in my seat to see what they were doing. One had his head on a swivel and the other one disappeared under my car.

With the squeak of metal on metal, I lurched to the side. "Motherfucker!" Those two assholes had my car on a jack. Another clank and the one keeping watch rolled my tire away.

"Hey!" I smacked the inside of my windows. "Put that back!"

They ignore me, jacking up each corner of my car and rolling away all four of my tires. While I was inside. Shouting obscenities the whole time.

In the grand scheme of things, when the tow truck finally came, I should have been glad they didn't break a window and rob me. As it was, I had enough time to sit in my car and read through the papers in that manilla envelope that had been on my doorstop.

I burst out laughing, the sound demented and scary, even to my own ears.

Justin had served me with divorce papers.