Chapter 14

Easton

"You still haven't spoken to her?" Drake asks.

I drop onto my chair in our shared office as though I weigh two thousand pounds. I feel like it. I'm dragging. During my workout this morning, I felt like I hadn't been to the gym in ten years. "Texts."

"Just texts."

"Yes." I text her twice a day—once in the morning and once at night. I won't let myself text her more often. I don't want her to feel like I'm hovering even though I'm definitely hovering. Hovering on the edge of panic.

"Does she return these texts?"

"Yes. Sort of." I run my hand through my hair.

"So, brief answers. One or two words."

"Yep." I pull on my hair now. I might resort to pulling it out.

"And you haven't seen her since Sunday morning?"

I groan. "Yes, Drake. Stop badgering me. I know I'm pitiful."

"Oh, you're way more than pitiful. I'm struggling not to laugh. You told me there was no way you were ready to enter into a new relationship so soon after Bethany. You said you didn't think you would ever be willing to put your heart out there like that again. Faye must be a goddess between the sheets." He shakes his head and turns around.

I wince behind his back. I have no idea what Faye might be like between the sheets, but I won't tell him that. It's not his business. Faye would be pissed if I talked about our sex life with someone else. She would be doubly pissed if I told my brother she was a virgin.

It would shock Drake and make his head explode if he knew I was harboring this kind of lust for a woman I have not even fucked. Though I would never fuck Faye. She deserves to be pampered. The only term for the sex we will have is making love.

Every day has been a roller coaster of emotions. I wake up frustrated and bitchy. I stomp around my home, growling as though my dog died. I don't have a dog. Eileen, my housekeeper, has stopped talking to me. She's been with me for five years. She's the best housekeeper on Earth, but I've caused her to steer clear of me. She finds some other room to work in as soon as I get close.

I've apologized to her and assured her my frustration has nothing to do with her. She purses her lips and nods. I'm confident she thinks my behavior has something to do with a woman, but I refuse to discuss it with her.

"Take the night off," Drake says, not looking back at me.

"I can't do that. It's Friday. The place will be packed. Besides, what would I do? Go home and pace?"

He spins around. "Don't be a dipshit. Go buy the woman some flowers and knock on her door. Make her talk to you. What's the worst that can happen?"

I groan. "She could tell me to go take a fucking hike and never speak to me again." At least now she hasn't cut me off from texting.

"That would be better than what you're going through. At least you'd know. I think you need to get in her face and make her look at you. You're giving her too much space."

Maybe he's right.

"I hate to make it sound like you're unimportant because that's not true, but this place can survive a Friday night without you. I promise. I'll be here. No one has called in sick. It will be fine. We've talked about cutting back on our involvement for months. We both know Edge can run itself. The only reason we still keep our thumbs on every aspect of the business is because we're controlling."

I chuckle. "And we like to play."

"That, too." He points at the door. "Go."

"Okay." I push up from my seat and scoot out the door before he can change his mind, or someone calls with a problem. We aren't even open yet, so it's unlikely there's a problem in the building.

Thirty minutes later, I'm standing at Faye's door with a bouquet of roses in one hand and my heart in the other. This woman has the power to crush me.

I knock and wait. Maybe she's not home. After all, it's Friday night. Duh. She might be out with friends, or what if she decided to go to Edge? Wouldn't it be comical if I were standing here while she was at Edge?

I'm almost surprised when the door opens.

I know several things instantly. One, she's mine. My God, this woman is mine. Any doubt I might have had flees the universe the moment I set eyes on her.

Two, she's so damn gorgeous. It's not that I've forgotten. It's that I'm reminded. She's wearing black leggings and an oversized university sweatshirt. Her hair is in a messy bun on top of her head. She's holding a paperback with one finger marking her page. Her feet are bare. She has on no makeup. She's never been lovelier.

Three, she's not displeased to see me. She's not exasperated. She doesn't sigh or roll her eyes. In fact, she's almost smiling. Thank God. "Hey," she says.

"Hey." I hold out the roses. "I brought you roses."

"I see that. Thank you." She takes a step back, holding the door wider.

I step inside at the silent invitation. "I promised I would give you space, but I couldn't stand not seeing you another minute."

She turns and heads toward the kitchen area, pulls a large glass down from a cabinet, and fills it with water.

I'm baffled until she takes the roses from me and puts them in the water. Duh. Right.

"They're very pretty," she says before she leans closer to smell them. "Mmm. No one has ever brought me roses before."

My chest tightens. "I wasn't sure if you even liked roses or any flowers. Some people don't like the scent."

She smiles. "I love them."

Then I'll buy her roses every week.

I nod toward the book she set on the counter. "I'm interrupting."

She chuckles. "Yes, my scheduled reading hour."

I rub my hands on my thighs. If I waited for a time when I wouldn't interrupt something she scheduled, I think I'd be waiting a lifetime because I'm pretty sure she has every hour of her life planned, including precise moments when she eats, sleeps, and pees.

She turns toward the couch and sits in the corner, pulling her legs up under her. "Do you want to sit?"

I want to do a lot more than sit, but I nod and join her, not sitting too closely but close enough I can touch her if I want. I turn my body sideways so I'm facing her. "I've missed you," I admit.

She turns more fully toward me, pulls her knees up to her chest, and wraps her arms around them. She takes my breath away. "You might find this hard to believe, but I've missed you, too."

Thank you, God.

"It's been weird."

"What's been weird?" I ask.

"We only spent one day together. Not even the night, but most of a twenty-four hour period. And yet, I feel different."

"How?"

"I feel…lonely. My apartment is quiet. My books are boring. My bed is half empty. My workouts are pitiful. I feel like I knew you for a really long time, and then you went away and left a hole."

Blessed angels.

I want to touch her, but I don't. I need to tread carefully. "Maybe you need better reading material," I joke.

She giggles.

"And some music. If you had music playing, your apartment would feel more lively. You could listen to it while you work out, too," I propose. "And they sell these body-length pillows you can curl up with in bed. Though I'm not sure why your bed is lonely since I never slept in it." I smile.

She giggles again.

We stare at each other for a long time, both of us grinning like loons.

Finally, she says, "I'm scared."

"I get that. I'm pretty fucking scared, myself," I admit.

"You? I can't believe you're ever scared."

I shake my head. "Baby, I've been scared since I first set eyes on you."

"Of what?"

"Of falling too hard. Of getting hurt. Of hurting you unintentionally. Of doing something that would scare you away. Of not seeing your face every day of my life. The list is long."

She bites her lip. I love it when she bites that lip. I want to bite it, too.

"Tell me why you're scared," I encourage.

She draws in a slow breath. "I'm scared of losing myself, of not being capable of sharing my life, of doing something stupid that makes you turn away from me, of making a fool of myself, of getting hurt when this ends, and probably ten other things."

"What if it didn't end?"

She shrugs. "Everything ends."

"Not everything."

"Relationships do. I don't think I know one person who has stayed with their partner forever. I observe the relationship ritual at work over and over again. At first, it's all sunshine and roses. Someone comes in on a Monday morning, mooning over whoever they went out with over the weekend. They have stars in their eyes for days, and then the stars dull, and eventually, they realize the person they've been infatuated with is not quite right for them. Maybe they were even married. Sometimes for years. It always ends."

"Not every relationship ends, Faye. Some stay together. My parents love each other, and they're still together."

Her eyebrows rise. "Really? Where do they live?"

"They live in France." I chuckle. "When my dad retired, they moved to the coast of France. Apparently, it had been a dream of theirs. We still see them once a year, but they're living the dream."

"You're also living the dream," she points out. "Not many thirty-five-year-old men have developed and sold as many apps as you and your brother have."

I shrug. "The dream isn't very fun if you don't have someone to share it with." I tentatively hold out a hand. "Share it with me, Faye. Take a chance."

She releases her legs with one hand and sets her palm in mine. "The thought makes me panic. I don't trust easily."

I arch an eyebrow. "And how do you feel when you consider telling me to take a hike and not seeing me again?"

She swallows. "Worse."

"Then do you really have a choice?"

She smiles. "Not really."

"Would you have eventually called or come to the club if I hadn't shown up tonight?"

"Yeah…I was pretty impressed that you lasted this long."

I narrow my gaze at her. "Were you testing me?" I rub her knuckles.

"No." She shakes her head. "It's just that you consume me. I knew as soon as I broke down, I would get sucked into your world and never come back up for air. I needed some time to evaluate my life and talk to my therapist."

"Oh. You told her about me?"

"Yes."

"How much did you tell her?"

"Surprisingly, most of it. She knew a lot about the kink world, so she didn't flinch as I reiterated my day with you."

"And what did she think you should do?"

"For a long time, she simply nodded and let me talk. And then she was really quiet for a while. Nervous. She kept tapping her pen on her paper. I was about to freak out when she finally told me she knew you."

My eyes widen. "She knows me?"

"Yeah, she didn't tell me how, but considering how much she seemed to know about the kink community, I assume she's a member of Edge. She felt awkward because it affected her ability to be impartial, but she told me you were one of the best men she knew and that I couldn't go wrong if I gave you a chance."

I'm stunned. Who is this woman? It's possible she's a member of Edge, and that she knows me, but I have no idea who she is. "What's her name, Faye?"

"Olivia Black."

I chuckle and then start laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"She's my counselor, too. I haven't seen her for a while, but if I ever needed someone again, she would be my go-to. What a small world."

"Wow. Crazy. I guess she couldn't tell me that. Client privacy and all. So, she's not a member of Edge?"

"No. That would probably be awkward for her since I'm one of the owners. If she belongs to a kink club, it's another one. There are several others in the area. Drake and I are both members of two other clubs—Surrender and The Playground. We never go to them anymore since we have our own, but the point is they exist." I scoot closer and lift her hand to my cheek.

She stares at me, smiling. "Well, since she did endorse you…"

"What if she hadn't?"

"I would've eventually sought you out because you stole my vibrator, and I want it back."

I laugh. "I'm not giving it back."

"Why not? You can't seriously think you can control my orgasms." She says this as though she's incensed.

I rub her knuckles against my cheek. "I can control your orgasms. All of them. Did you masturbate this week?" I know she didn't. She can't break rules. It's not in her nature.

She sighs. "No, but I wanted to."

"What did you wear to bed?"

"My pajamas," she retorts as if I'm batshit for suggesting otherwise.

"What a shame." I grin at her. This is going better than I expected. I'm starting to think I might have a chance with this amazing woman.

"So now what?" she asks.

"What was on your Friday night agenda?"

She looks away and then back at me. "I was going to stare at that book for a while, pretending to read it so I could account for the number of pages, when really what I was doing was thinking of the pros and cons of seeing you again. I thought about texting or calling. I thought about showing up at the club."

"Will you spend the evening with me?"

She licks her lips. "Here?"

"Anywhere. Here. My place. The club. A combination of those."

She chews on her lip this time, thinking. "Will you take me to the second floor?" she asks softly.

"Absolutely. Will you submit to me?"

She nods.

"Will you come home with me after?"

"To your place?"

"Yes."

"Do you have one of those full-body pillows I can try out?"

I slowly smile at her joke. She has a dry humor that sneaks out now and then. "No. I have something better."

"Can I have my vibrator back?"

"No, but you can use it if you let me watch."

Her cheeks pinken. I love it when she gets all shy with me. It's adorable. "I'm not sure I could do that."

"You could if I instructed you to." I lift a brow. "Submission is in your blood."

"Yeah, you're probably right." She sighs. "The only thing I have to wear to the club is the same negligée I wore last week. I washed it, though."

"That's perfect. No one even saw it."

Her face turns a darker pink before she says, "I don't have a thong. Someone cut it off my body."

I chuckle. "Then I guess you'll have to go naked underneath."

Her breath hitches. "Scandalous."

I kiss her fingers. "Go change, baby."

She hesitates. "Here? Shouldn't I change at the club?"

"Nope. You can do it here. You can put those leggings on underneath and a coat. When we get there, you'll remove everything but the negligée." I scoot forward and help her stand. "Pack several things in an overnight bag, too. You're not coming back here tonight."

She shuffles toward her bedroom.

"Faye?"

"Yes, Sir?"

Oh yes. Damn. "Don't wear panties."