19. Lily

CHAPTER 19

LILY

I can’t stop thinking about the looks on their faces. Fear. Excitement. Anxiety. Intrigue. Anger. Hope . It’s the last one I saw the most as Drake, Easton, and the rest of those men led hundreds of women and children to waiting buses.

Seeing hope on their faces solidified that we were doing the right thing. Drake knew it was the right thing to do all along, but I spent the entire night before wide awake, worrying that we’d be tearing families apart. It turned out that only about two dozen women insisted on staying with their spouses, and all of those women were older and had been part of the cult from the beginning.

Since we got back to Drake’s house, I haven’t said much. I’ve been lost in thought, and he seems to know I need some time.

For the most part, there weren’t many that needed immediate medical attention. The ones who did, Hannah quickly helped while we both reassured them that it was a good thing that was happening.

Despite the hope on so many faces, I have no doubt that every single one of them was also terrified of what the future might hold. I know I was when I first escaped. Heck, I think I was scared for the first few months.

When you’ve been sheltered all your life and don’t know some of the most basic things, it’s not a good feeling. There were times I questioned if I should go back. Times I cried myself to sleep because I felt so lost. If it weren’t for Hannah being there for me, letting me talk through it, and giving me love and patience while I worked through all the doubts, I’d probably have ended up back there. I want to do the same thing for all the people we moved out of there today.

“Baby.” His voice is gentle. Quiet. Yet still full of dominance.

I never thought I would crave a man being in control like this. Maybe because I’ve only ever seen it in people like my father and Jack. Now, I know the difference between the two types.

Drake appears in front of where I’m perched on the edge of the bed. I’m tired yet at the same time, I’m vibrating with energy. He cups my chin and tilts my head back to look at him. His dark eyes glitter in the dim light of the bedroom. It’s late afternoon, so it’s still light out, but all the shades are drawn.

“Come.” He releases my chin and holds out his hand for me. When I slide my fingers into his, my body tingles with the constant electricity that always radiates between us.

I follow him to the bathroom and gasp as soon as we walk in. Candles are set up in clusters throughout the large space. On the counter, around the edge of the tub, on a shelf hanging from the wall.

Lavender and vanilla fill my senses. Almost instantly, my muscles start to relax.

“I drew you a bath. I also brought up a glass of wine and a glass of water for you, along with some cheese and crackers.”

He turns and starts undressing me while I stare at the foamy bath. I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to this kind of treatment. Or if I’ll ever feel like I deserve it. He says I do and, right now, I’m choosing to believe him. Drake hasn’t led me wrong yet.

It doesn’t take long before I’m standing completely naked before him, and he’s still dressed other than his shoes.

“Hold my hand and step in,” he instructs.

He holds onto me like I’m delicate china and doesn’t let go until I’ve lowered myself into the steaming water. When he turns, panic creeps over me, and I reach for the hem of his shirt.

“Will you stay in here?” My voice is shaky, and even I can hear the panic in it. I’m not sure why I’m feeling this way, but I do know that I don’t want to be alone right now. I need him. Only him.

“I’m not going anywhere, baby. Just grabbing your drinks and snacks from the counter.”

My cheeks heat. I’m embarrassed for being so needy. I’ve never been like this. God knows I never would have asked Jack to come and sit with me while I bathed.

Drake isn’t Jack, though.

None of the men from the cult came out of the gates today, and when I asked Theo what would happen to them, he shrugged and said, “Who cares?” It took me a few minutes to digest his words, but then I agreed internally. The men inside those walls ruled every single woman’s life andmade it hell for them. So, I decided I don’t care. Not even a little bit.

Drake sets a wine glass on the edge of the tub, along with one filled with water. Then, he lowers himself onto a small stool and sets a tray of food on his thighs. I watch in silence as he stacks a cracker and cheese before he holds his hand out to feed it to me. When I swallow, he picks up my wine and lifts it to my lips.

“Is this how all BDSM relationships are?” I ask when he sets the glass down.

He stacks another cracker and holds it up to my mouth. “No. But this is how ours is. Everyone is different. They all have different wants and needs. That’s the beautiful thing about BDSM. Everything is negotiable, and every relationship is unique. For me, this kind of control, me taking care of you, it’s what I want and need. There will be times when I might instruct you to take care of me in certain delicious ways, but outside of that, this is my way of dominating.”

I sit thoughtfully, letting my mind wander to a previous conversation we had. I’m not sure if I should bring it up, but I haven’t stopped thinking about it. I don’t know if it means that I want to experience it or if I’m just intrigued by the possibility of it happening. He says he wants me to be honest with him about everything. It’s embarrassing to admit, though.

As though he can tell, he chuckles. “Whatever is going on inside that beautiful head of yours, I think I want to know what it is.”

Keeping my gaze averted, I run my fingers through the foamy bubbles while trying to work up the nerve. “You said something about spanking me and fucking me in the club in front of everyone. I guess I’m curious if that’s something you want to do.”

Out of the corner of my eye, he sets the tray down and then leans against the edge of the tub. When he reaches out and captures my chin, forcing me to look at him, I think my cheeks might burst into flames.

“What I want is to make you happy. To fulfill every single one of your desires. To make you happy and know you’re loved at all times. If that means fucking your tight pussy in front of a room full of people, I’d do it in a heartbeat. I don’t need that, though. Everyone will know you’re mine one way or another.”

We stare at each other for several seconds before he leans in closer to kiss me. All of today’s stress disappears, and the only thing I’m aware of is the heat between my legs and the chemistry we have. We’re both panting when he pulls away, his hand still holding my chin.

“I’m not sure if I’d want you to fuck me in front of people. That feels like such an intimate thing between us.”

He nods, giving me a reassuring smile. “That’s perfectly okay, baby. We’ll put that on our list of limits.”

“But,” I continue, “I might want to play out in the open a little. Maybe even be spanked in front of people. My whole life, I was taught that sex was dirty and wrong. It’s not, though. It’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve witnessed at Edge. It’s also one of the most special things I’ve experienced with you. Watching people turns me on, and the thought of other people watching me makes me feel so hot.”

Drake is quiet while I ramble, but when I stop, he runs a finger down the column of my neck. “We’ll explore that and start slowly. We have the rest of our lives.”

My heart swells. The thought of spending the rest of my life with Drake brings me more joy than I’ve ever dreamed of. We may have only known each other for a few weeks, but I feel like I’ve known him for a lifetime. He’s it for me. I don’t know everything about submission and dominance, but I know he’ll never do anything I don’t want him to do; he’ll always take care of me and put me first.

“I have something to tell you,” he murmurs.

My shoulders tense. He looks guilty. Maybe I’ve gotten way ahead of myself. Maybe I’m wrong.

“I, uh, I stopped by Hannah and Max’s house yesterday and spoke with them. I made them an offer for a business idea. In exchange, I’ve paid off their student loans and their home.”

I jerk back so quickly that water sloshes over the side of the tub. “You what? What kind of business idea? You paid off their loans?”

He gives me a soft smile and strokes my cheek. “I’m going to start a foundation to help people who have escaped abusive situations. I need a lawyer to help with all the legalities, and I need a nurse to help the doctor I’m going to hire. I’ve offered Max the job as my lawyer for the foundation. Hannah will be taking the nursing job. The only other position I need to fill is for the foundation’s director.” His eyes glitter in the dim light as he smirks at me. “So, if you know of anyone who is organized, smart, can multi-task, and is always putting other people first, let me know. Also, if she’s beautiful and has the prettiest brown eyes I’ve ever seen, it would be helpful since I’ll be working closely with her.”

Wait. Is he offering me the job? For a foundation he’s starting because of me? And Hannah and Max… He’s helped them so they can start their family. This man. This rich, beautiful, smart, selfless man is making me fall deeper and deeper in love with him.

I leap forward, sending waves of water over the side of the tub and fling my arms around his neck. A sob breaks free, and pretty soon, he’s sitting on the wet floor with me completely naked on his lap, crying against his chest.

“Drake,” I say through sobs. “I can’t believe you did all of this. I’m nobody special. You could have anyone. Someone who is way less work than me.”

His arms go rigid around me. When I look up, he’s glaring at me. “Baby, we’re going to put a new rule in place right this minute because I am not going to allow you to talk badly about yourself like that. You’re so fucking special, Lily. You don’t see it because nobody has ever allowed you to see it, but I do. I see how kind you are to the other servers, how hard you work, how you treat the members of the club, the way you think of everyone before you ever consider yourself. You’re amazing. So if I hear you putting yourself down like that again, you’re going to find yourself bent over my spanking bench, having your ass reddened with my belt.”

I shudder and try to ignore the hum of excitement between my legs. Why does him giving me a rule turn me on? And the threat of being draped over his spanking bench? Is that supposed to detour me from doing something I shouldn’t?

“I love you, Lily. Never did I think I would fall for someone like I have for you, but you walked right into my life—or tripped actually—and I’ve been obsessed with you ever since. I’ve never had these feelings. Helping those people was important to you, so it’s important to me. If you aren’t interested in being the foundation director, that’s perfectly fine. You don’t have to work if you don’t want to. Or you can do something else you’ve always wanted to. The only thing that matters is that you’re happy.”

Sniffling, I swipe at my eyes, trying to get myself together. It’s not working. This man has made a mess of me, but it’s the sweetest mess ever.

“I would love to help with the foundation. And if the offer to move in with you is still there…”

“It’s there. I can have a moving truck at Hannah’s tomorrow.”

I giggle and lean my head back so I can meet his gaze. “I’d like to live with you. I might still need to take things slowly, though.”

His lips split into a grin as he nods. “We can go as slow as you want, baby. Slower than slugs. I’ll sleep in a different room if you need me to, and we can work up to sleeping together.”

Bursting out into laughter, I swat his arm. “I don’t want to sleep in different rooms. I just…I need you to be patient with me. This is all so new for me.”

“I know, baby. We’ll go at whatever pace you’re comfortable with. There’s no rush. I already know you’re it for me.”

Snuggling against him again, I let out a deep exhale. “Will you please take me to bed…Sir?”

He stops breathing for a second, and I can feel his heart pounding against his ribcage. “Such a polite little subbie. Since you asked so nicely, I would be delighted to take you to bed.”

Oh, goody. I don’t think my life could get any better than it is right in this moment.