11. Lily

CHAPTER 11

LILY

I can’t stop giggling. There’s a woman scrubbing the bottom of my feet, and I’m practically wiggling out of this glorious massage chair while Drake grins at me.

“I’m sorry. I’ve never had a pedicure.”

The woman working her magic on my feet smiles kindly. She’s been a gem since we walked into the spa. It felt like an alternate universe, and I didn’t know what to do or how to act. Thankfully, Drake took the lead as usual and made everything less awkward.

“What color polish would you like?” she asks.

My giggles come to an abrupt stop. I hadn’t thought about colors.

Drake reaches over from his massage chair next to mine and takes my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Do you want to try a pink, baby?”

I send a smile his way, feeling warm all over. I’ve had a man make decisions for me for years, and I hated it, but this feels completely different. And the thought of having Drake pick out the polish color for me to wear turns me on.

“Will you choose it?” I keep my voice quiet, not wanting to bring attention to us. I’m not sure if it’s strange to ask him to pick a color for me.

“Of course. I’ll be right back.”

He’s gone for less than a minute, and when he returns, he holds up a soft pink polish. It’s not too bright, but it’s also not too muted. It’s perfect.

“I love it,” I whisper. “Thank you.”

“Of course. You can do that on your fingernails, too, if you’d like.”

Something flutters in my tummy. I want to throw myself at this man right now. And I might do it if I didn’t have one foot in a tub of water while the pedicurist works on the other .

“You must be Lily?”

I glance up as a young woman with bright blue hair approaches. She’s stunning and dressed in a full rainbow of colors.

“Um, yes?”

She grins and holds out her hand. “I’m Jillian. I’ll be doing your hair after you’re done with your nails. I wanted to introduce myself and chat about what ideas you might have for your hair? It’s beautiful, by the way.”

It takes me a second to catch up, and when I do, I turn toward Drake. “I didn’t expect all of this.”

He leans over so his face is near mine. The memory of our kiss flashes through my mind as his lips part. That was the hottest experience of my life. Whew . It feels warm in here suddenly.

“I know you didn’t, but you deserve it, Lily. So tell Jillian what you’ve always wanted to do to your hair because today is about making you feel like the woman you’ve always wanted to. Whatever you want, baby. Do it. This is your life to grab hold of.”

The corners of my mouth twitch. “What if I want blue hair like hers?”

Drake grins and gently grabs my chin before giving me a gentle kiss and whispering, “Then you get blue hair, baby.”

When I turn back to Jillian, I have to blink several times to keep the happy tears gathering in my eyes from falling. It’s sad to say, but this might be the happiest day of my life. And it’s all because of him.

“Drake, I can’t believe you did all of this for me. I’ve…I’ve never felt so beautiful.” For about the hundredth time since getting out of the salon chair, I touch my highlighted locks and smile.

He leads me out of the spa and opens the passenger door for me. “We’re not done yet, pretty girl. The day has just begun.”

When he gets into the driver’s seat, I turn my head to look at him. “Can I ask a question?”

“You can ask me anything you want. I might ask you questions in return, though.”

“You’re a Dom, right?”

He stills for a second before he turns toward me, his gaze piercing. “Yes. I am. I have been for a long time.”

I feel a bit silly that I asked. It’s pretty obvious, but I wanted to hear it from him. Instead of saying anything, I nod and smile.

“My turn to ask a question,” he says as he drives out of the parking lot. “What do you think about everything you’ve been seeing at Edge?”

Shoot .

Staring down at my beautifully painted nails, I try to figure out how to explain my thoughts. He doesn’t pressure me or speak, it’s as if he knows I’m gathering myself.

“I didn’t know what BDSM was when I first started. If someone had told me about it, I’d have thought it was something like what I lived through in my past. But in the short time I’ve been at Edge, I’ve seen so much beauty in submission. It’s trust and respect given on both sides. The submissives aren’t doormats. It’s almost like it’s a relief for them to submit. And honestly, I think I can understand why. If I’m being honest, though, it also scares me.”

He reaches over and holds his hand out for me, giving me the power to make the choice. I don’t have to think twice about it before I slide my fingers into his palm.

“Why does it scare you, baby?”

“I think because I was submissive to my ex-husband, and he didn’t treat me well.”

“Lily, what happened to you was abuse. You were forced. That is completely different. Being in a BDSM relationship is always a choice. There are rules. limits, and sometimes even contracts stating what is and isn’t allowed. And there is always a safeword that can be used.”

Nodding, I try to wrap my head around what he’s saying. “So even though the submissive gives up control, they still have control if they need it?”

“The submissive has the ultimate control. Submission is given, not taken.”

“When I think of someone being dominant, I think of bossy. You’re not super bossy, though.”

Drake chuckles and kisses the back of my hand. “Really? Me forcing you to take a break, eat, drink water, get your nails and toes done, and your hair styled, none of that is me being bossy?”

My core tightens. I guess he has been bossy. And I’ve liked it. I’ve liked all of it.

“But isn’t the submissive supposed to serve the Dominant?”

“At times, if it’s something they agreed upon beforehand. I’m more of the type of Dom to make sure my submissive is taken care of and give her rules and guidance to help her be the person she wants to be. In the bedroom, I might demand she serve me in some sexy ways, but I’d also do the same for her.”

In the bedroom. What would he be like in bed? I’ve seen a dozen men completely naked at the club this past week, but I’m betting none of them compare to Drake.

“I’m going to ask a question and I want an honest answer, understood?”

“Yes, Sir.”

Shoot . That keeps slipping out so easily. Maybe it’s because of the way he looks at me when I call him that.

“Did you like me forcing you to take a break last night? Did you enjoy me ordering for you and feeding you? Are you enjoying what we’re doing today?”

“Yes.” I don’t have to even think about it because the last however many hours have been amazing. I’ve felt cared for in a way I’ve never known.

“That, Lily, is submission and dominance. You gave me your submission last night, and I dominated you. Every relationship is different. In this lifestyle, each couple customizes their relationship to their individual needs.”

He pulls into a large parking lot and quickly finds a spot, then turns toward me.

Biting my bottom lip, I glance at him. “Is that what we have? A relationship?”

His dark eyes turn into pools of warmth, and I want to melt into him forever because I know I’d be safe.

“We have something like that, baby. I’m going slowly because you’ve been through some shit, and I don’t want to bulldoze you with my dominance. I can be a lot.”

“How so?”

He stares at me for several seconds before letting out a deep breath. “I like to be in control. Of everything. Picking out your clothes each day. Your food. Your bedtime. Everything. Some Doms don’t need that much control, but I do. The last woman I tried to date and have a dynamic with like that got tired of it quickly.”

“Why?”

His thumb moves in slow motion over the back of my hand. I’m not sure if he’s doing it to soothe me or himself.

“Because some women only want to be submissive in the bedroom. That’s what she wanted. I’m afraid that after what you’ve been through, I’d be too much for you. I’d never want to make you feel like you’re in a prison like you were before.”

I huff out a laugh. “I don’t think you’d ever make me feel that way. In the past day, you’ve made me feel more like a princess than I’ve ever felt in my life. It’s been so nice. Especially since making decisions is hard for me. I’ve never had the chance to do it before, so now, I struggle with choices. Having you order my food and pick my nail polish was a relief, if I’m totally honest.”

“I’m glad, baby. As a Dom, I want my submissive to feel taken care of and cherished, not repressed.”

“What if I’m not good at being submissive? I’ve watched several scenes at Edge, and I’m not sure I could do all that stuff. It looks…painful.” I shudder.

He grins and moves his hand to the side of my face, cupping it gently. “Well, the good news for you is that I’m not into a lot of that stuff you see. I’m more of a sensual Dom. Light bondage, spankings, orgasm control, things like that. I don’t enjoy giving a lot of pain or taking the time to tie a bunch of pretty knots. Especially when there’s already something so beautiful in front of me.”

My clit has a pulse, and I think that’s a good thing. What would it feel like if I rubbed it right now? Or if he rubbed it? Would I finally feel the pleasure that Hannah told me about?

“Let’s table this discussion for a bit. It can be overwhelming, and you have another appointment to get to.”

I squirm in the passenger seat and nod. “Okay. What are we doing now?”

He winks at me. “You’ll see.”

A few minutes later, he’s leading me into a bright store full of vibrant signs indicating different makeup brands. Everything about the store feels fabulous. From the glittery white marble floor to the fancy chandeliers hanging all around the space. Women dressed all in black with nametags flutter around. It’s overwhelming. It’s also exciting.

“Hello! Can I help you?”

Drake keeps hold of my hand as he steps forward, almost shielding me from the woman. It’s protective, and I love it, especially since I wouldn’t have any clue what to say to her.

“We have an appointment with a makeup artist.”

“Oh. That’s great. Right this way.”

She leads us to an area at the back of the store that is set up with chairs and vanities with LED lights framing them. It almost looks like something you’d see in a movie.

“Have a seat, and I’ll grab Amanda. She’ll be the artist you work with today.”

When the woman scurries away, Drake nudges me toward the chair.

“What are we doing here?” I ask as I sit and stare at him in the reflection of the mirror.

“You said you wanted to try makeup one day. So, you’re going to spend time with a makeup artist who will teach you about applying makeup, and she’ll also help you choose all the shades that will match your skin tone.”

My mouth drops open, and emotion swells in my chest to the point that it’s hard to swallow. Tears burn my eyes. I twist in the seat and look up at him, my bottom lip trembling.

I can’t speak, but whatever he sees on my face is enough because he leans down and gives me a gentle kiss. “You deserve all of this, Lily. Don’t ever forget that. You’re beautiful without makeup, but you’ll be beautiful with it, too, and if it makes you happy to wear it, then I want you to wear it. I’m going to give you everything you haven’t had.”

I’m not sure I’ve ever loved anyone before in my life. I’m not even sure I know what love feels like, but I’m starting to think I might be falling in love with Drake.