Chapter 11

(Night)

You don’t need to see to know what I’m thinking

Sinn was the most subdued Night had ever seen him. The man didn’t flirt, joke, or even slide his hands up Night’s thighs as they drove, though he’d always tended to do just that when they went for a ride on Night’s beast of a lightning covered chopper. Instead, Sinn rode rigidly, barely touching Night as the long miles flew past, a fact that was making Night uneasy. He told himself that it had nothing to do with him and everything to do with Sinn getting kidnapped by his folks and having to flee beneath his childhood home when the Serpents tried to wipe them out. Now if only he actually believed that so he could stop freaking out about having fucked up somewhere and waiting to be called on the carpet for it.

Pops doesn’t want us stopping at a motel or parking anywhere that we’ll be easily spotted.Cody told them before they hit the road. He’d been riding at the front of the pack with Night directly behind him and to the right. Wreck was filling the sweep position at the rear, as the senior most member of the Jokers in their entourage. They all knew what that no stopping meant. Canned spam and beef-a-roni straight from the tin, gas station sandwiches that had been sitting beneath the heat lights for too long, vending machine coffee, and a night spent camped beside their bikes behind a rest stop travel center.

At least this one was old school. Tiny and unmanned, not a lot of space and few trucks about. A couple picnic tables stood in the shadows beneath the moon, and the one naked bulb over the bathroom entrance kept flickering like it was about to go out. This was their kind of place. Easily overlooked and ignored. They’d barely been there an hour and they’d already seen three vehicles pull off the exit and drive right past the building without slowing down, no doubt heading off in search of a more modern and less sinister looking place. Thank the universe for budget cuts. They’d passed up four rest stops on the hunt for this one, each too crowded and illuminated to suit their needs.

“Alright, so we’ve got one bacon cheeseburger, a chicken patty sandwich, two cans of spam, a can of ravioli, mac and cheese in a can, one pulled pork sandwich, a barbequed rib sandwich, a squished fish patty sandwich with cheese which just, ugggg, cheese on fish, why!” Bellamy declared; his nose all scrunched up as he stared at the thing.

“We’ve got some trail mix too and a half bag of powdered donuts,” Wreck added.

“I’ll take the donuts,” Cody declared.

“You’ll take two donuts and a sandwich or a can of something to go along with it,” Wreck ordered.

That tone brokered no room for argument, leaving Night to wonder if he could get away with a hand full of trail mix without a similar response.

“You need a keeper,” Wreck declared when he caught sight of Night popping bits of trail mix in his mouth a few minutes later. “Seriously, I get that the food is shitty, but if you want to keep it between the lines then you gotta eat more than that.”

“I won’t be doing anything but crapping my insides out if I eat that stuff,” Night reluctantly admitted. “All that processed shit plays hell with my guts.”

“Fuck, seriously?”

“Unfortunately. I can eat the trail mix and a donut, maybe. That’s good enough until we get back. The rest of it you can keep, though I don’t know why you’d want to, just the stench of that pork patty is enough to make me wanna hurl.”

“Tell me about it,” Sinn groaned, shoving at the sandwich Bellamy offered him. “No way in hell am I touching that.”

“Want the fish?” Bellamy asked.

“Fuck that! What I want is to be back in Texas in my grandfather’s face getting the apology he owes me,” Sinn snapped.

Night saw Bellamy’s eyes narrow and wondered what he was thinking. He still hadn’t gotten a full read on the guy. Like Sinn and Night, he’d been raised in a club other than the Jokers, but unlike them he appeared to have close ties to his family as was evident by the riders who’d driven from Colorado to Texas just to help locate Sinn.

“Then why are you here?” Bellamy asked.

Sinn snorted; hands shoved deep into the pockets of his jacket. “You heard what Saint said.”

“And you are your own person,” Bellamy pointed out. “So if you wanted to be in Texas, why aren’t you there?”

Night watched Sinn deflate and rub the back of his neck. “Because I wouldn’t have gotten what I wanted and arguing about it would have just pissed Saint off in the process and made it seem like I didn’t respect him as my Dom.”

“Well, you’re right about that part, but what’s the deal with that grandfather of yours?” Bellamy asked. “Why’d he have you kidnapped in the first place and what’s he dragged my cousins into?”

“Sounded to me like they didn’t need the least bit of arm twisting to get them to stick around.”

“’cause they’re as bloodthirsty as rabid vampires and twice as mean,” Bellamy said. “Which is exactly why I was grateful when they volunteered to ride along.”

“I know the type.”

“Something tells me you were raised to be the type and your pissed off that it didn’t pan out that way for you. I get it. I’m not exactly the ideal myself, though I always made certain that anyone who saw the need to point out my deficiencies wound up crawling away…or being dragged.”

“Lucky you.”

“Luck has nothing to do with it. I took a lot of ass beatings before I figured out what worked for me, even when I was outmatched.”

“Good for you,” Sinn grumbled. “But in case you haven’t noticed, I can’t get a clear reading on how many I’m up against, let alone develop a strategy for how to beat them.”

“Well, you could keep looking at it that way, or you could consider it a blessing not to know what the odds are,” Bellamy said.

When Sinn shook his head and refused to even consider Bellamy’s words, despite how much they resonated as both wise and a damn good way to get psyched up, Night knew it was because he’d retreated into his head and was too busy dwelling on shit he couldn’t change. Night would have recognized the look from a mile away, he saw it in the mirror enough.

“Look as much as I hate it, Gramps is right about me being an easy target for anyone looking to get back at the Disciples, the Jokers and even your club now if anyone got a clear look at your patches. I have to face facts. I can’t see. I can’t even see as much now as when I first showed up at the Jokers’ compound. Not even close. I’m a liability and I don’t know what to do with that yet.”

“Bullshit,” Bellamy snapped, moving until they were practically nose to nose.

Even with his limited vision, at that distance, Night knew Sinn would be able to make out the furious expression Bellamy wore and perhaps even the dangerous glint in the man’s eyes that had Night taking an involuntary step forward. “The only way you’re a liability is if you go around thinking you’re one.”

“He’s right,” Night added. “You’re one of the best bike builders we’ve got, and you do it all by feel. Fuck that liability shit! We need you in the shop and we need you in the field hunting for frames. You’ve more than proved how capable you are with that. As soon as we get a line on some of those old parts Creature has been struggling to hunt down, we’re going to have that custom bike shop up and running and you are going to be a major part of making sure it runs smoothly. If you wanna feel sorry for yourself, fine, but don’t expect the rest of us to!”

“Go fuck yourself.”

Chuckling, Night shrugged. “I’d rather you do it.”

Night watched Sinn open and close his mouth like he didn’t have a clue how to respond to that, but the one thing he didn’t do was make up some excuse about how that wouldn’t work. As far as Night was concerned, that was progress.

“I notice he didn’t have shit to say about that,” Bellamy quipped as he nudged Night’s shoulder and passed him the remainder of the trail mix.

“Shuddup you,” Sinn grumbled.

“Shut up all of you and eat,” Wreck snapped, before he lowered his growly voice and leveled his intense gaze at all of them. “We need to bed down and get some sleep, if we’re gonna hit the road before the sun comes up. We’ve got a long ride ahead of us tomorrow.”

“Like any of us wanna see that little miracle of nature,” Cody grumbled, sounding as grumpy and exhausted as Night felt.

“I do, asshole,” Sinn murmured.

“Sorry,” Cody replied, “I’m an asshole for blurting that out the way I did.”

Wasn’t much to say after that, so Night shook out the bedrolls and spread them over bumpy, mostly level ground so he and Sinn could lay side by side beside his bike.

“You don’t mind bunking with me do ya?” Night asked.

“Not gonna try and crawl between the three of them.”

Night glanced over to where Bellamy and Wreck were arranging Cody between them, each draping an arm over him like they were afraid he was going to wander off in the middle of the night.

“Good, I’d hate ta have to drag them off ya.” Night said as he sprawled on his back on top of his sleeping bag and tried to get comfortable while staring up at the stars.

Sinn tisked and rolled so his back was to Night. “Whatever, can we just go to sleep?”

Sighing, Night glared at the heavens and tried to remember the names of the two brightest stars in Gemini. “Yeah, I guess. Not sure it’s gonna be all that easy, considering.”

“Considering what? All the rocks stabbing into us through these threadbare sleeping bags? Where the fuck did you find these things anyway? The dumpster behind an army surplus store?”

“Naaa, that might have been a step up,” Night replied. “Somebody left these and a rolled-up hammock at a campground I was stayin’ at. Figured anything was better than sleeping in a bed of leaves.”

“You figured wrong.”

“Sorry. I’ll make sure I pack a comforter and an air mattress the next time I ride out on a rescue mission.”

“Yeah, you do that.”

They were silent for a bit, Night’s belly clenching from more than just hunger and the trail mix he occasionally munched.

“So, if it ain’t the ground keeping you awake, then what is it?” Sinn asked around the time Night located Pollux…or was it Castor? At least he’d remembered the names.

“You.”

“I swear to fuck if you’re about to say some shit about staying awake and watching over me, I’ll…”

“Oh get over yourself,” Night snapped, trying to keep his voice low and realizing he failed when Wreck growled at him to shut the fuck up. “Seriously, the damsel in distress routine doesn’t suit you. You’re too bad ass for that so give it and the pity party a rest. I’m over it for the night. Hell, make that for the year, and just let it go, for fuck’s sake, you wanna know why Imma have a hard time sleeping? It’s because you’re warm and pressed against my back and all I wanna do is roll over and get you to put your hands all over me.”

And there was Sinn going all silent again.

“Look. I know you and Saint have discussed fucking around with me and I’m down for it whenever you guys are. I just wish the wait was over.”

“It will be as soon as we’re all back at the compound together,” Sinn admitted, though his empty tone left Night wondering if he was really into the idea, or just telling Night what he thought he wanted to hear. In the end, he decided that not replying was the best way to keep from making things awkward if Sinn proved not to be as in to him as he’d seemed to be before getting kidnapped and dragged back to Texas.

“It’s been a while since I’ve been camping,” Sinn whispered. “Are the stars out tonight?”

“Yeah,” Night murmured. “Lots of them. I was just laying here trying to figure out the difference between Pollux and Castor.”

“The fuck?”

“Twin stars that make up the Gemini constellation,” Night said. “Pollux and Castor were brothers or something. One was mortal and one was immortal if I remember it right. The immortal one wanted to share his immortality with his brother, so Zeus made them stars. Now they live up there forever.”

He felt Sinn moving and when he glanced over, Night saw that he was laying on his back now too. “Where did you learn that?”

“This book my brother had when we were kids. He was always staring up at the sky, talking about space camp and wanting to be an astronaut.”

“I’m going to go out on a limb and assume that didn’t happen.”

“Naa. He and a couple of my cousins got busted holding up a Wawas. They did three years in juvie and joined the family business not long after they got out.”

“Which would be?”

“Nothin’ legal.”

“Yeah, I kinda figured that,” Sinn said. “So what about you? Did you join the family business?”

“I’m not a fan of sleeping behind bars,” Night admitted.

“That doesn’t answer the question.”

“I’m on hiatus.”

“Uh-huh.”

“It’s the best answer I’ve got.”

“Somehow, I doubt that, but I’ll wait and press you when there are fewer ears around to hear whatever it is you’re trying to hide.”

“Mark knows my history.”

“But it isn’t Mark’s bed you’re looking to climb into,” Sinn stated. “Or at least I hope it’s not.”

“Don’t see where one thing has to do with the other.”

Sinn rolled a little more, until his hand rested on Night’s chest, just above his heart. “When I claim someone, it’s not going to be for a little while. So if you’re on hiatus from something that’s going to yank you out from underneath me, then I wanna know before I invest too much time in what this could be.”

“I’m patchin’ in here, now aren’t I?”

“Yeah,” Sinn replied. “But if this week has taught me anything, it’s how quickly the past can come back to haunt you. If I hadn’t told you where I was from…”

“We’d still be searching, it’s that simple,” Night said. “Saint wouldn’t have given up until he was six feet under, and even then, they might have had to stomp him down two more feet just to keep his ghost from going postal.”

“Yeah, that’s the part that scared the shit outta me.”

“I wouldn’t have given up either,” Night murmured. “I’d have been another vengeful wraith right there beside him, haunting the bastards that took you until we’d given them a heart attack.”

A small bark of laughter burst out of Sinn after hearing that.

“Man, it would serve Gramps right to go out terrified and clutching his chest on the floor of his bedroom rather than biting it in a hail of bullets and glory.”

“Pretty sure we’d all prefer a bloody end.”

“Not me,” Sinn said.

“Yeah? And how do you wanna go?”

“Surprised,” Sinn said. “Which should be easy, since I won’t see it coming.”

At least he laughed at that and scooted a little closer, until he was using Night’s shoulder for a pillow.

“All I can see is dark,” Sinn said. “Not sure I even remember what the stars look like. Describe them for me?”

“Shit, I ain’t that good with words,” Night said as he studied them.

“Try.”

“I don’t know, they’re all sparkly and shit. They’re just stars. Silver stars. Some bigger, some brighter, some that are probably dead already, only we still see their light. Maybe they’re all dead. Maybe we’ll step outside one night to find the sky empty and a laughing face where the moon is supposed to be. Maybe we’re just trapped in a fishbowl and all those stars are just other fishbowls with creatures trapped inside, hoping for someone to come along and feed them.”

“And maybe the gods are all dead, and that’s why they haven’t sprinkled any fish food in the water.”

“And maybe you two should shut the fuck up before I come over there and drown you,” Wreck threatened. “Some of us are trying to get a little shuteye over here!”

“Don’t mind him,” Cody called out softly. “He always gets snarly when you wake him up, even if it’s for something fun. I wanna hear more about the fishbowl stars. Not gonna be able to think of them any other way now.”

“You’re not going to be able to stop thinking about my handprints on your ass when you’re bouncing over potholes tomorrow if you keep encouraging them,” Wreck warned. “Do not test me on that.”

It took every shred of willpower Night had not to snicker at Cody’s grumbled fine or Bellamy’s warning to Wreck not to threaten their boy just for wanting to hear a story.

Despite the exhausting week they’d had, Night wasn’t ready to fall asleep yet either, but he knew better than to press his luck with Wreck, as a fully patched member, he could make Night’s life hell in a way that would be far worse than a long ride with a stinging backside.

“When did you find out you were going blind?” Night whispered, hoping Wreck didn’t have supersonic hearing or Night was libel to find himself scrubbing every inch of the clubhouse and all the members’ bikes with a Q-tip and a bit of floss to polish the spokes.

“When I was twelve my sight started getting blurry. My old man used to yell about how much time I spent playing video games, so I figured no big deal, I’d lay off them for a bit. Only my vision never got any better. I wound up with glasses, which worked for a few years. Eventually the prescriptions got stronger while my eyes kept getting weaker. One day it dawned on me that the sun hadn’t been bright for months. People say shit like that changes what’s important to them, but to me, the same things have always mattered: My club, my family and my brothers and sisters in leather, only Gramps and my folks made sure I couldn’t have that either, not completely. I just want something that’s all mine. Something no one else can ever take away.”

“Why can’t you see that you already have it.”

“Huh?”

“You have the Jokers. You have Saint. You have those bikes you’ve been building. And you’ve got me for however long you think I’m worth your time,’ Night said. “Maybe that doesn’t make up for what you feel that your family took from you, but it’s more than some people can ever hope for. Respect that if you respect nothing else. Trust me when I say that you’re luckier than you think you are and pray none of us ever has to prove it to you.”