18. Beautiful When You Break

18

Beautiful When You Break

Violet

Saint drags his hand down my chin, along my throat, pausing at the top of my dress to rip it down the front. The thin material shreds, exposing my breasts. He leans in and sucks a nipple into his mouth, biting it, teasing me with his tongue, and running it in circles.

"You're sick." I moan as his tongue circles my nipple again.

Lifting, he looks down at me beneath him. "What did you expect, kitten? You didn't come here thinking you could call me out and I'd play nice. You're smarter than that."

"I didn't come here for this." At least, that's what I tell myself.

I came here for proof. I came here to destroy Saint once and for all .

"Why are you like this?" I clench my hands into fists, facing off with him.

"Is that really what you're trying to figure out, Violet?" His fingers trail up and down between my breasts.

"Yes."

"I don't think it is." He feathers his fingers over me, tickling my skin as he trails up to a nipple and tugs on it. "What bothers you is that you want me like this."

He leans in and licks my pebbled nipple, slowly brushing his lips across my chest to the other.

"You want to figure me out so you can rationalize what's broken inside me. So you can absolve yourself of your guilt." He bites the flesh of my breast until I scream and then kisses the spot he just bit. "You're scared—but not of me. You're scared of yourself. Because if I really am a psychopath with no regrets and no morals, there's no way for you to reason with the reality that you like me just like this ."

Saint reaches down and shoves a finger inside me.

"There's always a reason." I tip my head back on a moan as he works his fingers in and out, and when I try to struggle away, he grips me tighter.

"Is that what you were looking for in those books at the library? An explanation? Or were you looking for a solution? A cure?" He works my core, even if his face is completely passive. "You won't find one. Like I said, there are no gods here. No good. Nothing that can be fixed. And no one who can be saved."

"Liam said— "

Saint shoves another finger in and grabs my pussy so hard it cuts me off. "Don't say his name when I'm inside you, Violet. This is between you and me."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why me?"

He pauses, biting the inside of his cheek and narrowing his eyes as he examines me. "Because you look beautiful when you break."

Pulling his hand away, he works his pants, and his fingers are replaced by the head of his cock, putting pressure on my entrance.

"Are you going to cry for me, Violet?" He leans in and traces his lips along my jaw. "Are you going to scream?"

"No." I shake my head.

He rubs his cock over me, stroking himself through my wetness. "I think you will."

"Don't do this." I tip my head back and close my eyes.

"No?" He presses his hips forward, and the pressure alone is almost enough to make me black out. "Look at me, Violet."

Opening my eyes, I dare to face him. To look into his eyes. Into a man I know nothing about except the terrible things he's done. A man incapable of emotion or love. Someone who feeds on my fear. Who wants my tears so he can satisfy the rush he gets from hurting me.

"Why did you come here tonight?" Saint rubs himself over me again, and I bite back the moan that betrays my morals .

His dark maple eyes seep like sap leaking from a tree as I stare into them. Warmth and sweetness when the cold forest is an empty place that offers no comfort.

These dark depths I hate myself for seeking out, but I can't help it.

"For you."

"And what do you want, Violet?" He rubs his thumb over my mouth, and I press my lips together. "Tell me the truth."

I fight for breath, for strength. I fight for the lies I want to tell him. In his gaze is evil—all things that terrify me. But he knows as he presses against me what he wakes up inside. Darkness as twisted as he is.

A mental infection I've spent my life denying.

Saint is right. Maybe I'm trying to figure out why he's cruel because I need to understand what made him a psychopath. But also, so I can understand how I see the depths of his sickness, and yet, I still want him.

If he's twisted, I'm no better.

If he's sick, I'm terminal.

Because I stop my struggle and dig my nails into my palms, letting his dark eyes pull my truth out.

"I want you."

Saint smirks, his evil eyes not letting me go as he thrusts his hips forward and shoves himself to the hilt inside me. He releases my hands as I scream out in pain, and I grip his shirt like it can hold me here when I'm ripping in half. I push him away, then pull him toward me. Torn between what I want and what I shouldn't .

He ignores my struggle—my screams, the tears leaking from my eyes—and thrusts in again, harder this time.

It doesn't matter that I'm crying or that it hurts. Saint isn't sweet for my first time. He licks the tear from my cheek and fucks me harder, forcing me to take every painful inch.

He buries himself deep, and the louder I get, the more ruthless he is.

"Scream for me, kitten." He thrusts in again. "Fight me. Hate me. Try to escape this."

I do. I claw at his chest as he rips my dress down farther. It tears down the center to my belly button, and his hips force the bottom further up. My body aches from the size of him, but he gives me no time to adjust.

Saint plants a hand on the center of my stomach and leans back on his knees, still half inside me as he drags his fingers down and rubs my sore pussy. Slowly he moves in and out again until he's pulling out almost completely and wrapping his hand around his cock.

As he drives back in, he drags his wet hand over my thigh and up my leg.

Blood smears my skin as he paints me with amusement. A mess of all the ways he ruins me at his touch. How he unravels me with his existence.

"Stunning, kitten." He grips my hip and pulls me to him as he thrusts in. "Does it hurt bleeding for me?"

There's something cold in his gaze at his question. Detachment as he paints me with my blood. And if it didn't hurt so badly, I'd probably feed the seed that plants inside me as he basks in my pain. I'd realize he's devoid of all emotion, barely capable of being human. Interested only in the mess he's made.

He shoves in, and I lose all thought—all breath. The initial sting is starting to subside, and slowly, something else flutters, building in my core. Pain fades as my hips start to rock with the rhythm of his.

"Saint."

"That's it, kitten. Your virgin pussy feels so good stretching for me." He drives in harder. "My desperate little slut. I'm going to fill you up with my cum and watch it leak out."

I swallow hard, realizing he's fucking me without a condom, and this is terrifyingly reckless.

My fingers clench the fabric of his shirt, but when I tug at the bottom of it, he leans back, pulling away from me.

He pulls out, flipping me over on the bed, face down.

Tugging my ass in the air, he kneels behind me. And before I can adjust, he shoves himself back in.

From this angle, he's deeper, hitting me where my insides can barely make room for him.

My heart is in my throat with every thrust, but he doesn't relent. He grabs my hips and pulls me to him, forcing me to take every hard inch.

Behind me, I hear him spit, and then I feel the trickle as it lands on my ass. He glides his thumb through it, over my tight hole, and I can't help but clench.

"That won't stop me." He hits me deep again and presses just the tip of his thumb into my ass as he does. "I'm going to fuck you here next, even if you beg me not to. You're going to take me any way I want because you're mine, Violet. You gave yourself to me."

An intense mix of pleasure and pain rushes through me. His thumb toys with my ass as he rocks his hips.

It's dirty. Wrong. Disgusting.

But it warms my core because I crave Saint's depravity.

He moves his thumb a little deeper, and the pain of it drives me closer to the ledge.

"You're mine," he repeats. "Even if I have to bleed dry any man who so much as looks at you. I'll send their parts to you one by one just to remind you what I'm willing to do for you."

My pussy clenches around his cock at his sick threats, and he groans. That sound . I want to hear it again, so I squeeze around him, and he grunts.

He thrusts in, hitting a spot that sparks fireworks in my core. One thrust—another—until the motion makes me detonate. I'm shaking and screaming.

Sore and flushed.

In pain and drowning in pleasure.

I grip the blanket as he fucks me harder and harder until he's digging his fingers into my hips with such force that he'll leave bruises as he jerks inside me.

Saint holds my hips to him tightly, forcing me to take every drop of him before he grabs me by the ponytail and tugs me up.

Kneeling now, my back is to his chest, and the thunder of his heartbeat makes my own race faster.

"I'm going to have so much fun with you, kitten." He drags a hand down between my legs and pulls his dick out of me so he can shove his fingers in. I wince from the soreness but don't try to stop him.

Instead, I grab the sides of his thighs and tip my head back, trying to adjust as he fills me. When he pulls his fingers away, he reaches up and sticks them in my mouth. A mess of cum and blood that he forces me to choke on while he grips my hair, tipping my head back so I can watch him do the same.

Saint licks his fingers clean and then turns to me. Rage and pleasure brewing in those maple eyes.

Our breaths are steady, and the longer I stare at him, I watch him shift. The man I fear and the man I met when I started dating Liam split and break.

Saint. Kole .

Two sides of one coin. And in his arms, I watch him change.

Kole's expression ices over as he holds my waist. His burning eyes cool. He leans in and inhales my scent, burying his nose in my hair, and dragging his lips to my ear. His hand glides between my legs, and that's when I feel him hard again behind me.

He just came, but he's already rubbing his steel cock against my sore pussy.

"Still in one piece," Kole whispers in my ear. "It's a good thing the night is young."

At that, he shoves his cock inside me again, grinning at the scream that rips from my lungs as he once more shoves me face down on the bed.