16. Dont Chicken Out Now

16

Don't Chicken Out Now

Violet

The truth was supposed to set me free.

Learning who was hiding behind the mask was supposed to answer all the questions tumbling around since that night on the side of the road. I assumed once I figured it out, I'd see this clearly. But as Kole walked away with Declan, slowly disappearing through the doors of the library, the void around me widened.

Kole Christiansen is Saint.

I don't know what to make of that—of him. We've never spent any real time around each other, and he doesn't pay me any more attention than the rest of Sigma Sin.

Kole was Liam's best friend, and the couple of times we were in the same room, I avoided him because he gave me an unsettling feeling. He's quiet, but everyone at school knows that doesn't mean he's any safer than the rest of his fraternity brothers. He's violent when provoked. An on-and-off switch.

Like Saint.

My mind struggles to make sense of it.

Even if they are one and the same, Kole was Liam's best friend. His fraternity brother. Someone Liam regarded as family.

They grew up together, and from what Liam told me, they knew everything about each other.

Why would Kole turn on him?

Kole is one of the few people Liam trusted. And even if Liam warned me to keep my distance, I thought it was only because he held that same stance with all the guys in Sigma Sin. I didn't think he was a threat to me. And especially not to Liam.

Still, Kole slit his throat.

My head spins as I try to put the pieces together.

It's been a few days since I realized Saint's identity, and I still can't process the information. My only saving grace is that Saint has been silent—not so much as a message on the app. And I'm thankful. Because right now, I don't know how I'd respond if he did.

Wondering who Saint is and knowing his identity aren't the same. While I thought figuring him out would make this simple because it would finally give me the leverage I've been searching for, I was wrong.

Learning the truth has only done the opposite.

If Saint really is Kole Christiansen, then going to the police about what he's done won't do me any good. Kole's grandfather is the police commissioner. His stepfather is the captain. The Christiansen family runs this town.

They donate to every charity and attend church every Sunday. The Christiansen name might as well be carved into the sign right beneath "Entering Bristal" with how they control this city.

If I walk into the police station and tell them what Kole did to Liam in the forest, it'll be white noise by the time his family throws money and attorneys at my accusations. I'm nothing compared to them.

Insignificant.

An unimportant girl who's attending Briar on a scholarship.

It's my word against his, and he's made it clear that he's controlling the narrative of this story. Which now makes sense.

His impulse.

His actions.

Everything Kole has done, he's done knowing he'll get away with it.

But I refuse to go down without a fight. If Kole thinks he can hide behind the mask and not face any consequences, he's wrong. I'm going to stop Saint, and to do that, I need proof.

Luckily, now I know just how to get it.

My gaze moves up to my bedroom ceiling, and I make a decision to play the game his way. It might be stupid—deadly even. But I'm taking control.

Climbing off my bed, I make my way across the dorm to Mila's room, knocking twice on the open door .

"Hey, girl." She sets down her mascara and looks up at me. "I like the hair."

"Thanks." I reach back and sweep my straight black ponytail over one shoulder. The bruising on my neck has finally faded enough that I could use foundation to hide any remaining traces. "Can I borrow a dress?"

She spins around and hitches an eyebrow. "One of my dresses?"

I nod, and she practically squeals as she runs over to her closet.

All of Mila's dresses are ridiculously tight and uncomfortably short. Which is exactly what I need right now if my plan is going to work.

To get to Saint, I'm going to go through Kole, and I finally figured out what I need to do to make that happen.

"Who are you trying to impress?" Mila pulls a few dresses out and starts holding them up to me one by one.

"No one."

"Oh my God, Violet, you are such a liar." She shoves a dress into my arms. "Here, try this one. The blue will bring out your eyes."

Slipping off my pajamas, I'm careful to keep my bracelets over the mark Saint carved into my wrist so Mila doesn't see it. The bruises might have faded enough to hide them with makeup, but that particular mark on my skin isn't as easily hidden.

I slide the pale-blue dress up my body and wiggle into it. "Seriously, there isn't anyone. I just need to get out of the house. "

"If you say so." Mila shakes her head. "But for the record, I'm not complaining. I always said you were too good for Liam, so I'm glad you're getting out there and broadening your horizons."

She spins me around as I adjust the straps and, as if the dress isn't tight enough, when Mila zips the back, it sucks to my ribs like a corset.

Gripping my shoulders, she turns me back around. "Damn, girl, that dress was made for you. This is a dangerous look walking into Sigma House."

Exactly .

If Kole thinks he can keep Saint in hiding, I'll tempt the beast until he has no other option than to come out to play.

Mila steps back, running her fingers over her floral crop top. She's paired it with black jeans that fit her like a second skin. And as always, she could have been cut from a magazine because she's perfection standing in front of me.

"We're going to freeze," I point out, turning to examine both our outfits in the mirror.

"Yep." Mila laughs, nudging my arm. "And it's totally worth it."

After we finish putting on our makeup, we try to convince Patience and Teal to come with us. When they refuse, we head to Sigma House alone, which sounded like a good idea until we got here.

Now, I'm standing outside the iron gates that lead to hell, staring at the sculls twisted into the center of them, wearing a pale-blue minidress that does nothing to keep me warm, wondering what the fuck I was thinking.

"Crap."

"Don't chicken out now." Mila snakes her arm through mine and tugs me through the gates to the front door.

"I won't." I squeeze her hand, hoping I'm not lying to myself, even as every step feels like a warning.

Someone's puking in a bush as we walk past while two women are making out on the hood of a car in the driveway.

"Hey, Mila?" I pause, glancing over at her.

"Yeah?"

"Do me a favor and forget anything you see tonight." I bite my bottom lip as her green eyes flick to mine.

"You know it, girl." She smiles, leaning closer. "Just promise to let me know if you need help burying any bodies."

She starts giggling, tugging me back to her side, not noticing how my spine stiffened at her comment. To her, it's an innocent joke. But that's only because she doesn't know what really happened last time we were here and how real that threat is.

Mila guides us through the front doors, and I'm overwhelmed with the stench of marijuana and alcohol. It takes me back a step even as Mila pulls me forward. She doesn't release me until we're fully inside, letting me go to brush her hair off her shoulders.

Real confidence is something you can't fake, and Mila has it. It doesn't matter where she is or what she's doing; she knows how to carry herself. And as her gaze connects with Marco's across the room, she doesn't falter. Which is especially surprising considering the half-naked girl dangling at his side.

"I'm grabbing a drink." She tips her chin up, masking her real reason for heading to the bar. "You coming?"

"No, I'm going to mingle."

"Mingle?" Mila glances at me, smirking. "Because you're not here for anyone in particular? Okay."

I don't bother arguing. At this point, she'll see straight through it. Besides, Mila doesn't mind, so long as I leave her alone so she can deal with Marco tonight.

Secretly, I'm thankful Patience and Teal decided not to join us. I don't need more eyes on me with the inevitable showdown on the horizon. I already feel it in my bones, especially considering I already feel him .

"Be safe and remember what I said. I'll bring the shovel." Mila grins, and I just shake my head as she disappears in Marco's direction.

He doesn't let go of the girl at his side as Mila approaches, and if he's not careful, she's going to use her freshly manicured nails as weapons.

Rolling my shoulders back, I take in the crowd. It's a lot like it was last time—messy, out of control. But I'm not as nervous. Because I'm not leaving until I get what I came for—answers from Kole.

Glancing around, I head over to the bar first, choosing the opposite end from Mila. I'm handed a shot the moment I walk up, and I drain it in one swallow to take the edge off. It's sweet, like candy, and has my brain instantly floating .

Music pounds through the speakers as I push back into the mass of people. Lights pulse, and I barely miss being run over. Sigma House is giant, and I search three living rooms before finding who I'm looking for.

This room is the largest one I've walked in so far, abundant with chaos, and the Sigma Sin Kings are in the center of it.

Stepping inside, I spot Declan and Brax on the couch first, then turn my gaze to Kole, who's seated in a recliner beside them. He's looking at something on his phone, but as if he senses me, his dark eyes flick up the moment I walk into the room.

I'm not sure how I didn't see it before now—how I didn't sense him. All the time I spent with Saint, I was blind to a truth that was staring me in the face.

The first time I officially met Kole was when Liam and I had been dating for a couple of weeks. Liam drank too much, and Kole stopped by my dorm to pick him up on his way back to Sigma House. Liam was so drunk that he could barely stand, and Kole had to practically carry him to the car.

And once he did, he didn't immediately get in. He stood there, leaning against the side of it, watching me with those same eyes that watch me now.

Cold but focused. Calculating every step, every movement, every flinch.

I remember asking Liam why Kole had that scar on the side of his face, and all he said was that Kole had it rough growing up. Whatever that meant .

I thought if I focused on the scar—on the stories—on the fact that Kole is evil and emotionless, I wouldn't have to acknowledge whatever else his dark eyes do to me.

An undeniable magnetic force pulls me into the room now. A gaze I can't tear mine away from.

At least if I focus on his eyes, I can ignore his square jaw and full lower lip. I can try not to think about how it looked when he stuck his fingers in his mouth after they'd been inside me.

Stopping in front of Declan and Brax, I pause with a hand on my hip. I'm not sure if it's hot in here or if the one shot is going to my head, but the back of my neck is damp with sweat.

"Hey guys." I force a smile, doing my best to project Mila's sexual confidence but probably failing miserably. "I need a favor."