13. Nothing Better Than Watching You

13

Nothing Better Than Watching You

Violet

I'm exhausted, completely drained. But it's becoming clear.

Saint is always watching me. He has eyes in every corner of every room, even when he's not here. I'm no closer to learning who he is, but at least I've come up with a plan.

If he never looks away, I'll use that to my advantage. I just need to be careful how I go about it so no one else ends up dead.

My stare flicks to the corners of the ceiling in my bedroom, to the slats in the dark vents. I'm pretty sure he's planted cameras in my room given how he knows the exact moment anything happens in here, but I haven't been able to find them.

Focusing on the dark corners, I feel him watching me. Likely amused by the fact that I haven't been able to outsmart him yet. Or maybe curious why I haven't gone to the police.

It's a puzzle I'm still trying to solve myself.

When the time is right.

When I figure out who Saint really is.

Then I'll be ready.

At least, that's what I keep telling myself.

Until then, I'll avoid my problems by focusing on figuring out who he is. If I want to gain the upper hand, I need to turn this around on him. And as unsettling as it is that he wired my bedroom, I can use that against him.

I'll lure him out.

Just like I unintentionally did when I disappeared with Nixon at the Sigma Sin party. Saint probably didn't plan to make himself known in a public setting. But when Nixon followed me downstairs, Saint couldn't help himself.

Under the right circumstances, he acts on impulse.

All I have to do is use that to my advantage. I'll get his attention and trap him into revealing who he is.

Taking my eyes off the ceiling, I set the small blue box Saint left for me down on my bed. I don't need to ask whose tongue it is to know who it belonged to.

Nixon touched me and Saint made sure he paid for it. Ignoring the fact that Saint was the one who instructed him to do it.

Saint's level of reasoning doesn't equate. And the more I compare him to everything I've learned from my textbooks, the more I'm convinced of one thing: he's a clinical psychopath.

Detachment. Disassociation .

Saint displays all the traits of someone with psychosis. He has no moral boundaries and, from what I've seen, no empathy. His kills are quick and emotionless. He doesn't hesitate or show remorse.

Once Saint decides someone is in the wrong, he acts as he sees fit.

What I can't figure out is Saint's fascination with me. If he is a psychopath, am I his obsession? If he lacks the ability to form healthy emotional attachments, what are his plans for me?

And why do I continue trying to explain them away like he's a clinical study and not someone terrorizing me and anyone who gets close?

I'm smarter than this, or so I thought. He warned me, but I'm still here, playing his game.

"Violet, movie time." Mila clicks her nails against my closed door as she walks past. "If Teal is leaving her room, then you better get your ass out here and join this girls' night."

"Be right there."

I grab the blue box Saint left on my bed and stuff it into the same dresser drawer I put the finger. If I had to guess, the tongue will disappear just like the finger did, which means Saint returns for them. Either to add them to the sick art collection he mentioned or so he can ensure I don't go to the police with physical evidence.

He doesn't leave his disgusting gifts with the intention of me keeping them. They're a warning—a reminder. He'll live up to his word, so I need to be careful how I decide to challenge him.

My gaze moves up to the ten-foot ceiling once more. To every crack and crevice, and my spine tingles.

Slipping into one of my sweaters to hide the marks on my skin, I head to the living room. At least it's winter, which makes it easier to cover up the evidence of Saint's path of destruction.

I wrap my hand around the opposite wrist and rub it. The cross he carved there is red and itchy as it starts to heal. Even when it does, it won't fade completely, which I'm sure was intentional.

"Kill me now." Teal rolls her eyes as Mila flips through rom-coms. "I'm not watching that shit."

"Why not?" Mila's face sours.

"Because it's lame."

"It is not. Stop being so depressing, Teal. Not everything has to be moody all the time."

Mila is the head-in-the-clouds romantic of the group, and Teal is her opposite. Teal doesn't believe in love or even try to understand it. She barely manages friendships, given the fact that she'd rather be locked away in her studio.

Luckily, she has the three of us dragging her out and forcing her to be social, or she might turn into a full-on recluse.

Mila pauses on another cheesy movie, and Teal groans.

"Come on, we watched that last month."

"It was good." Mila glares at Teal, tossing her phone to the couch, which is when Patience steps in.

"How about we let someone else pick tonight?" Patience picks up Mila's phone and tries to hand it to me .

But I shake my head. "No thanks."

I've got enough on my mind right now. I don't care what's on the screen as long as it takes my thoughts away from the mind tricks Saint's continually playing with me.

"Fine." Patience rolls her eyes, taking the phone and skimming through it. "I'll pick. But only because I'm not going to listen to you three all night long."

Mila glares at Patience's comment as a triumphant smile ticks up in the corner of Teal's mouth.

"I swear." Patience ignores them both, continuing to scroll. "I don't know what's more stressful, mediating my friends or that psychology test today."

"How'd you feel about it?" I ask, trying to change the subject and keep the peace in the room.

She shrugs. "Okay, I guess. But not great. You?"

"Fine."

I'm downplaying it. Criminal Motives was one of my favorite chapters, and I found myself studying it for fun. Especially given Saint's sudden and unexpected role in my life. Every chapter, every test—I find myself searching for answers as to why Saint is the way he is.

"You're a shoo-in for the summer internship." Patience's shoulders deflate. "It's going to take a miracle for me to squeak in at this rate."

"You'll make it happen."

At least, I hope so. There's no chance I can afford a summer in LA by myself without a roommate. Even if I get a job, the rent alone will drain every cent I've saved.

My scholarship pays for my dorm room, my classes, and my books at Briar. But it won't cover the living expenses of a voluntary internship with Professor Gray at UCLA. At least if Patience goes with me, we can split the cost, and there's a chance I can get a job at a coffee shop to cover food and rent.

I'll do anything to pursue my passion. And that's what this internship would be. Spending the summer studying criminal psychology under one of the most brilliant minds on the subject.

"Well, I hope you're right," Patience says, pausing on a movie. "Found one."

" Scream , really?" Mila rolls her eyes, burying herself in the blanket.

Usually, this movie would be right up my alley. But as Patience presses play and hands Mila her phone, my stomach sinks. All Scream does is make my mind wander to the one person I'd rather not think about right now.

"Don't pretend you don't like this one. It's a classic. Besides, it's a middle ground. Not romantic and cheesy, but not some boring think piece." Patience looks from Mila to Teal. "Right?"

Teal shrugs distracted by whatever she's doing on her phone.

"Not you too." I nudge her shoulder, looking from where Teal is scrolling through her phone to where Mila's typing a text. "This is supposed to be girls' night."

"Just let me send this really quick." Mila hits send. "Done."

"Let me guess… Marco?" Teal lifts an eyebrow up at her, and Patience's eyes go wide.

"Please tell me she's joking. "

Mila tucks her phone away. "I told you, we're friends."

"You did shots with him all night at the party," Patience says. "And when he grabbed your—"

"Okay." Mila shoves Patience's shoulder and cuts her off.

"Wait, what did I miss?"

Mila grins, shrugging.

"Don't get me started on you, Vi. You'd know if you didn't disappear the moment we got to the party." Patience narrows her gaze on me. "Who were you with all night? Because there's no way I believe that bullshit you texted. I saw you with Brax and Nixon, and then, all of a sudden, you left to study ?"

She throws up air quotes as all three of them turn their attention to me.

"We had a test today," I remind her. "One I feel pretty good about because I did study."

"You're as full of shit as this one." Patience nudges Mila's legs.

"Hey, am not," Mila squeaks.

"Sure you aren't." Patience rolls her eyes. "Both of you need to be careful. Sigma Sin guys are nothing but trouble."

Don't I know it.

Luckily, the movie starts, and Patience drops her interrogation in favor of inhaling popcorn and Junior Mints.

Of all the movies she could have picked, she had to go with a jump-scare slasher movie. My favorite .

I curl into the blanket and try not to think too much about it. How every bit of anticipation feeds that slow burn building inside. An urge I refuse to acknowledge from a face I've never seen.

Halfway into the movie, my pocket vibrates with my phone, and I sneak it out when Patience isn't paying attention.

Saint : What are those little fingers of yours doing under your blanket, Violet?

Violet : Don't you have anything better to do than watch me?

Saint : There is nothing better than watching you.

I roll my eyes. There's no way that's true.

But as soon as I think it, the music ramps up, and a scream coming from the movie makes me jump.

My phone vibrates again.

Saint : Fear looks lovely on you. I'd like to feel that… the hair standing on the back of your neck. How wet your pussy is getting with the anticipation. It's why you'll never escape me.

Violet : Why would you say that?

Saint : Because you need that feeling, Violet. And you know I can give that to you.

Violet : I don't want anything from you.

Saint : Then fight me when I come.

Fight me.

I wish those two words didn't send a hot rush through me the same way they did when we were in the woods. It burns me up remembering the struggle. How I clawed and scratched. How I fought him. Knowing Saint would win, but a dark part of me wanted him to .

I bite my lip and look down at the app open on my phone.

Violet : When?

Saint : Soon.

"Earth to Violet." Patience knocks my shoulder, and I jump. "Thought this was girls' night."

"Right." I tuck my phone away and force a smile.

But Patience just rolls her eyes and grins at me, which makes me wonder if my flushed cheeks really gave me away. Because as I turn back to the movie, all I can think about is the last message sitting in the app. The one that is probably already disappearing like they always do.

Soon.

Why do I feel like I can't wait?