Chapter 18

18

T he farm was always quiet in the early morning. It was so different from their townhouse in the city, where they'd wake to the sound of garbage trucks, someone's stereo, or rush hour traffic. At the farm, there were birds, a soft wind, the occasional distant bray from one of the horses in the barn.

There were also the quiet, sleeping sounds his boys made from their pallets on the floor. Tobias knew them well -- Phan's soft purr and Noah's deeper breathing that always bordered on, but never quite became, snoring.

When the phone rang, Tobias nearly jumped out of his skin. Not only was the sound incongruous with mornings on the farm, but it was also just plain rude to call someone so soon after sunrise.

Which meant it was likely Bradford. Tobias fumbled for the receiver.

"Sorry to wake you." Bradford's voice was soft, muted as if he was trying not to be overheard.

"Not at all." Tobias' body still remembered how to wake up quickly, the remaining legacy from too many late-night veterinary emergencies. "What's wrong?"

"Liar," Bradford replied with a snort, but his tone was gentle. "In any case, I thought I should let you know that Nikki is home. He came home late last night, and we were up most of the night talking. He's asleep now, on a chain on the floor, so I suppose that means we're going to be okay."

Tobias let out a breath and leaned back into his pillows. It had taken longer than he'd anticipated, and he'd been getting worried. "Good. I'm glad. How do you feel?"

"Well, I'm not entirely sure yet, everything is still kind of fresh. But he was embarrassed and, more than anything, he was worried that I wouldn't take him back, so as far as that goes, I feel pretty confident that we'll get our balance back. We're not touching the contract, but we may need to build back up to where we were. He's feeling pretty fragile."

"And you're not?" Tobias refused to shy away when it came to Bradford; after all, that was why the man called him.

"I am not fragile, thank you." Bradford protested. "Out of my element? Perhaps. Lacking in objectivity? Absolutely. Possibly even slightly emotional. But fragile, I am not."

"That's what fragile is, more or less." Tobias rubbed his eyes. "Plus, you're on the phone before six in the morning."

"Yes. I know." Bradford sighed. "I think what we really need, apart from a few more hours of sleep, is some time away from this club. Would you happen to be interested in entertaining visitors today?"

"Of course. You can even stay if you wish. The guest quarters are more or less ready. It might be a good thing to open the doors with something of a healing -- not to mention our closest friends."

Bradford sighed again, this time sounding less stressed and more relieved. "Thank you. Let me see who I can get to hold down the fort while we're both away. I think as long as I keep my cell handy, things can run here without us for a day or two. I'd look out for us around lunch time, does that sound reasonable?"

Tobias nodded and heard the subtle shift of bodies on the floor. "We'll have food ready for you both, and I'll make sure a room is well prepared. And Bradford -- I'm glad he's home."

"Me, too, Tobias. Me, too." Bradford hung up on his end and Tobias set the receiver down as quietly as possible, but it was likely too late, as he heard whispers coming from the foot of the bed.

"Good morning," he said dryly. Then he stretched out and blinked at his ceiling. "We have work to do, my darlings."

Warm bodies joined him on the bed, and then in bed, under the sheets. "Work, sir?" Noah asked from one side of Tobias while Phan settled himself on the other.

"Company coming." Tobias let them burrow in; no one had to get up right away. "Bradford and Nikki are coming to visit for a few days. We need to prepare space for them, grocery shop, and stay out of their way when requested."

Noah nodded. Tobias had discussed Nikki and Bradford's situation with them briefly without too many details; just enough that they wouldn't be shocked by whatever happened next.

"Whatever we can do, sir." Noah yawned. "Do you want coffee yet?"

"I think I do." Tobias smiled as Phan wiggled a little closer. "Barn, coffee, showers... Phan, you can make the beds in the guest house and do any dusting and such that needs doing over there. Noah, you're in charge of food -- lunch for six, groceries for Nikki to keep his master fed. Phan can help with Bradford's favorite foods since he worked there long enough to know the details."

"I guess that means we have to get up, huh?" Noah stretched out long, and Tobias felt every muscle in his body go taut for a second or two.

"At some point very soon, yes."

Phan giggled. "But not yet," he murmured, hands suddenly questing. "We need to actually wake up."

Tobias couldn't help rolling his eyes. "You're up, I get it. I can feel it. Although I'll admit to a bit of surprise about it, given last night."

"It's all you, sir," Phan said seriously. "Tell him, Noah. Back me up, here."

Noah lifted his head and looked at Phan. "Phan, hon. I'm thinking it's you."

"You disappoint me." Phan sniffed and vanished under the blankets. "Look!"

"Oh, for the love of -- Phantom, out of the bed." Tobias sat up and watched a Phan-shaped lump scoot off the end of the bed and onto the floor. "Stay there, I'll unchain you in a moment. Noah, kiss me good morning."

Noah smiled. "I like that order, sir." He leaned down and kissed Tobias affectionately. "Shall I start the coffee and head out to the barn?"

"Yes, please. Phantom will make us all breakfast and then start his chores." Tobias got out of bed and unlocked both of them -- not that they couldn't do it themselves, but he was still in charge. Mostly. "Shoo, both of you. I'll be down in a few minutes."

Phan disappeared so quickly he was almost a blur. Noah hopped out of bed smartly enough but took a moment or two to dress before he headed downstairs, pulling on jeans for the barn. He didn't dawdle, though, and it wasn't long before the scent of fresh coffee was wafting up the stairs.

One of the nice things about having two boys to do the chores was that he could shower, dress, and go down to not only the barn chores done and fresh coffee made, but his breakfast well under way and the paper waiting for him in his office.

"It's good to be king," he said to himself as he sat at his desk. "Now, to make sure Bradford remains king while a prince plays with his heart..."

At precisely noon, Tobias went to his front steps and watched Bradford's car pull up the lane. For even a country date, Bradford's precision took no rest, and Tobias had known it; he'd planned the morning so everything would be done in time, and had left Noah and Phan to finish getting lunch on the table.

Bradford's driver opened the back door and Bradford stepped out, followed quickly by Nikki, who went right to his knees as the driver pulled their bags from the trunk. Bradford said nothing to Nikki, but Nikki stood and lifted the bags as Bradford headed up the steps to the front porch, where Nikki knelt again, one bag on either side. Tobias noted that Nikki looked a little thin. He'd never had much meat on him, but his angles seemed a little more pronounced than usual. He was also on his very best behavior.

Bradford just looked tired. The little lines around his eyes and mouth were more obvious, making him look older -- or perhaps just making him look his age, which was unusual enough.

"Hello, friend," Bradford said, going in for a gentleman's hug.

Tobias hugged him back. "Welcome to the farm, both of you. I hope you can find some peace here, and space for what you need." He stepped back and led the way inside, saying, "Lunch is almost ready. Nikki, leave the bags in the hall for now; we'll show you to the suite in a while. I hope you're hungry."

Nikki didn't reply, but he did exactly as he'd been instructed, leaving the bags neatly against a wall in the front hall.

"I'm certainly ready to eat. I'd like Nikki to follow whatever orders you have for your boys." Bradford walked with Tobias toward the dining room with Nikki at his heel. "The farm is lovely this time of year."

"Thank you. Unless it's storming or March, it's generally quite nice here." Tobias smiled and sat at the dining room table, gesturing for Bradford to join him. The table was set for five, though he and Bradford had much nicer dishes than the plain stoneware for the submissives. "Would you like a drink?"

Phantom came in and set a large salad on the table. "Good afternoon, Master Bradford," he said respectfully.

"Afternoon, Phantom." Bradford looked Phan over appraisingly like he always did. Something about having had Phan under his roof for so long, Tobias assumed. "You're looking good." Bradford glanced at Tobias. "Iced tea?"

Tobias nodded at Phan, who promptly rushed off to the kitchen to fulfill the request.

"They've made chicken for lunch, and Noah did the grocery shopping for you. You're welcome to join us for supper if you wish, or you can use the kitchen in the guest house." Tobias glanced at Nikki and sighed. "I want to make sure you and Nikki do exactly what you need to do. If I can make it easier in any way, please tell me."

"We'll take you up on your dinner offer, for one," Bradford said easily. "Perhaps we could use one of your stalls this afternoon? Otherwise, I think Nikki will benefit from some time around your boys, and I've brought you some excellent cigars that would make good smoking on your porch tonight with a couple of fingers of scotch."

Phan set Bradford's iced tea down. "Phan, which place is for Nikki?" Bradford waited while Phan pulled out a chair and then sent Nikki to it. "Thank you."

"Of course, Master." Phan sketched a little bow and hurried off to the kitchen again, coming back with Noah and the serving dishes.

"Thank you, boys." Tobias leaned back and let them serve and seat themselves, then picked up his fork. "You're welcome to make use of the stables, of course. The barn chores have all been taken care of, but when you want Nikki to be with these two, I'm sure they wouldn't mind a hand with the rest of the cleaning in the guest house and working on the landscaping. It's amazing how construction dust can linger."

Phan made a face and nodded. He knew very well how tricky all that dust could be, and how long it took to wash up.

Bradford nodded as well. "He'll help any way he can, I'm sure."

Noah set the serving dishes he'd been carrying down on the table. "Hello, Master Bradford," he said politely.

Bradford smiled. "Hello, Noah. This looks delicious."

"Thank you, sir."

Noah crossed behind Nikki's chair and gave Nikki's shoulders a squeeze. "Good to see you, Nikki."

Noah's touch was brief, but Nikki leaned into it as if craving more. He served himself quietly and waited for Bradford to pick up a fork before he did.

Bradford took a bite or two in silence, as did everyone, before he started up conversation again. "So, Phan, how are you feeling about things? Do you like the new building? Are you ready for guests?"

Phan startled visibly and glanced toward Tobias before nodding. "Yes, sir. I am, actually. The building is really nice, and I think that Sir will be able to do some very good work here at the farm." He bit his lower lip and added, "I think I'll be much more comfortable with the majority of the domestic activity taking place across the yard and away from Elizabeth's things, out of space that was very much a personal area for all of us."

Bradford nodded silently, finishing the bite he was chewing before answering. "Wonderful. I hope you will. I know your Master has been concerned about you, I'm sure you'll continue to communicate with him on the subject in any case."

Noah studiously watched his plate and ate his lunch silently, but Nikki glanced at Phan and watched him for a moment or two.

"Yes, sir." Phan whispered the words to his plate, but he nodded. "I will, sir. Communication is important, even when it's hard."

Tobias watched him and then raised an eyebrow at Bradford. "He's not wrong. I think the next couple of days are going to be interesting, don't you?" It wasn't what he really wanted to say, but he was fairly sure that Bradford knew that. They'd known each other for an exceedingly long time.

"I do. I think we all need to slow down sometimes, right, Nikki?"

"Yes, sir." Nikki whispered.

"Good boy." Bradford took another bite of his lunch. "Mmm. Delicious."

Tobias didn't really taste the food, though he knew it must have been good; Noah had become a wonderful cook, and Phan was no slouch in the kitchen. After they'd all finished and the boys had cleared the table, Tobias waited to hear the sounds of three people washing dishes and putting the kitchen to rights.

Then he looked at Bradford. "What's first? Seeing the guest house, putting the three of them to cleaning so we can talk, or do you want to work with Nikki first? I'll follow your lead, old friend."

"Well, why don't you give me a tour of the new guest house, and then I'll work with Nikki for a while. Once he's in a good space he can rest or hang out with your boys and you and I can have a sit down. What do you think? I haven't got anything strenuous planned for Nikki today, just some quiet grounding and a reminder of who he belongs to. Just enough to leave him wanting more." Bradford grinned. "I'll talk with you later about the best approach for tomorrow... I'm interested in your opinion." Bradford stuck his head into the kitchen. "Come to the guest house when you're through, boy."

"Yes, sir," came Nikki's voice, clear as a bell.

Tobias nodded to Noah and echoed the order, then took Bradford out the back door. "The work went smoothly, for the most part," he said, gesturing to the yard and its stack of scrap wood. "The delays were cleared up by giving more money for more labor." He smiled wryly. "The only thing that happened exactly on schedule was the art and decor, because Phan had most of the paintings stored in the basement at home."

"I haven't seen much of his work," Bradford noted. "He'd given up painting by the time he was with me."

"His therapist sent him back to it. Aside from the painting of Noah I claimed, however, I've been letting him do as he wished with the canvases. Most of them, it turns out, went to the basement." Tobias walked them up the steps and into the building. "He's eclectic, thankfully, so the walls don't look like one man's emotional outpouring."

Bradford laughed. "So he's not a tortured artist? Glad to hear it." Tobias opened the door and Bradford followed him in. "Well, well. This looks like an entirely new place."

"It came together." Tobias wasn't trying to be modest, as he did like the house, but he didn't feel particularly attached to it. Likely because he wasn't meant to live in it, he assumed. "I went with a lot of tile, which is easier to keep neat than carpets, and I put cork in the dining areas; good for kneeling boys, I was informed."

Bradford laughed. "We picked the right construction company, I see." He walked through the main floor, sticking his head into one room and then the next. "It has a very comfortable feel to it, well done." He stopped short of going upstairs, though, and turned to Tobias instead. "Sorry for trotting out Phan's issues, but I think sometimes Nikki feels like he's the only sub in the world who has insecurities. I thought it might be good for him to know that even someone he idolizes, like Phantom, has his issues."

"You weren't wrong." Tobias nodded and let out a sigh. "It was probably good for Phan to articulate his feelings on the matter as well. We haven't talked about it head on; I know he's thinking about it a lot, though, and I think he's up to something in his free time. A while ago, I sent them both out to buy Noah's suits, do you remember? That was right about when Phan started having a hard time with clients and members taking over what he's calling Mrs. Miller's space."

"I remember it was a struggle to get Phan to articulate it in the first place, yes," Bradford nodded. "Are you concerned about whatever he is up to?"

"Not concerned as such." Tobias thought for a moment, wondering how best to explain his sense. "It's more like... I fear he's being creative with his personal growth the way he's creative when he finds sugar. His exuberance can be a little..."

"Overwhelming? Misguided? Ungrounded?" Bradford sighed. "Yes, I remember. Noah's no help?"

"Noah's always a help." Tobias smiled almost without realizing it. "I do know that if Phan is about to get himself in trouble Noah will step in. This doesn't feel like he's about to act out, more like he's playing at the edges of something. Processing." His smiled turned a bit sour and he pointed up the stairs. "Come on, before I say something I'll regret, like 'Yes, Bradford, I need to talk to him about it.'"

"Of course," Bradford snorted and turned around to make his way up the stairs. "Wouldn't want to say something like that, would you?" He tone was light, though, and he looked back over his shoulder and smiled at Tobias. "The good news is that you have enough dirt on me that your secrets will go to my grave with me."

"It's nice that way, isn't it?" Tobias grinned at him and followed him up to the second floor. "Who would have thought it when we were both on our knees and learning what that damn cane felt like?"

Bradford laughed. "Stop that. Now you're making me feel old."

"There are days I feel old, days I feel young, and occasionally there are days I feel like I'm a teenager, what with all the hormones floating around me in my home and working lives." Tobias rolled his eyes and showed Bradford the way to the suite he'd had prepared. "Bedroom, bedding for Nikki if he's to be on the floor, your bathroom. Also, because you're you, you get the use of the only TV we have so far."

"Nice." Bradford wandered through the space. "Really nice. We did shell out some cash, didn't we? Ah, well, it will be worth it. Almost no one is doing what we do, Tobias; what you do out here at the farm. Almost no one. So to hell with feeling old, I say we feel savvy and cutting edge instead."

"I suspect it'll all pay for itself within two years. Maybe sooner, if the longer workshops prove successful. I've been thinking about making a meeting room, too; not quite a boardroom or classroom, but definitely a place where I can talk to tops and hand out reams of study guides and such. What do you think? Too much?" He turned his head as he heard the door open on the lower level. "Mmm. We can talk about it later, I suppose. Time to heal your boy."

"You just want to hear yourself talk," Bradford teased, heading out of the room.

"There is that." Tobias chuckled as they went back down the stairs. "But that's our little secret, I'm sure." At the bottom of the stairs, they found all three boys lined up with the luggage Bradford and Nikki had brought. "Phan and Noah, please take that up to the room. Double check the supplies and things in the bathroom. I'll take our guests to the stables and unlock everything for them; you can meet us there. If all is well, we'll take ourselves out of the way for a while."

Phan nodded and picked up one of the bags. "Yes, sir."

Noah was quick to follow, echoing Phan's words and hurrying up the stairs after him, the other bag over one shoulder.

"You'll hardly be in our way." Bradford waved a hand dismissively. "Carry on with your routine, and please don't let us disrupt anything." He followed Tobias out of the guest house and along the short path to the play barn with Nikki tight at his shoulder. "We have very low-key plans for today, but probably something more intense for tomorrow."

"The space is at your complete disposal." Tobias unlocked the main door to the stables and pulled it open. "Take a look around while I turn on the lights for you. When you know where you want to play, we can turn off everything else. If you'd like a suggestion, I find that the stall with the massage table is good for reconnecting; there's a nice spanking bench in there, too. I can find just about any restraints you'd like."

Bradford nodded and made his way down the center aisle, looking into each stall. He lingered for a moment beside the one that Tobias had suggested, moved on to have a look at the others, and then returned to the stall with the massage table. "I think I agree, Tobias. Perfect. Go inside, Nikki, and kneel." After Nikki disappeared through the door, Bradford added, "We won't be using restraints today, but have you a lead? Something leather and not too long? And if I might peruse your selection of crops and such..."

Tobias smiled and nodded. "Of course." He led Bradford to the toy boxes in the main ring and let him take a long look. It was somewhat akin to shopping, and he wasn't surprised at all when Bradford tested a few crops on the practice dummy. He left Bradford to make his choices when Phan and Noah came in, going with them to check all the first aid supplies and cleaning equipment.

"All right, then?" he asked as Bradford came back from the ring. "You know where the emergency buzzer and everything is, and the direct line to the house."

"I do." Bradford had two crops in his hand and also a large feather. He'd closed Tobias' toy boxes carefully before heading back up the aisle. "We'll be just fine. Thank you."

"Fantastic. I'm going to take mine back to the house; I think I need to have a talk with Phan. We'll be in my office when you and Nikki are done."

"Give us a couple of hours." Bradford gave Tobias a quick nod and walked into the stall. "Nikki, my boy," Tobias heard Bradford say as Tobias turned back up the aisle to join Noah and Phan.

"Okay, my darlings. Let's go and talk." He saw Phan's lip tremble and reached for him. "It's okay, boy. Really it is. You can even cuddle with Noah, if it helps you talk to me."

Noah kept close to them as they walked back to the house. "Safe room, sir? Or did you have somewhere else in mind?"

"Safe room for now, living room if Phan wants it." He kept his arm around Phan and tried to judge his reactions. Phan was being particularly unhelpful.

They went in the house, and with Phan still being silent, Tobias took them right up the stairs. "On the bed with you two, okay? I want to see faces." If he could get them cuddled up, he might get somewhere. He dragged the chair around and sat, wishing he knew the right words to say to set Phan's mind to rest once and for all.

"Come on, hon." Noah climbed up onto the bed first and rested against the headboard. When he opened his arms, Phan only hesitated for a second before crawling right up into them. "It's okay, this is good space. Positive space. The conversations Sir and I have had in here... well. It's good, I promise. Hard, but good." Noah tucked his arms around Phan as Phan settled. "Okay?"

"Okay." Phan sighed, and Tobias watched him sink into Noah's arms. "It's not even that I don't want to talk about it, sir, I'm just not sure what to say."

"Well, let's start there." Tobias leaned back and tried to think of the whole thing like a puzzle. "You're happier with the new set-up for guests?"

"Yes, sir." Phan nodded and then looked at Noah. "It's pretty cool, right? The house and all?"

"It's very cool. There's no reason for anyone to be up at the house unless we invite them. And I happen to think the decor is first class. We hired a great artist." Noah grinned.

Phan actually blushed. It was rare enough that Tobias leaned forward to see it.

"Thanks, kitten," Phan said, then he hurried on. "Anyway, yes. That's the main thing, for me. That we don't have to have a lot of people in here if we -- you -- uh, us. We. If we don't want them."

"We," Tobias confirmed. "That's where the trouble is, huh?"

Phan sighed again and rolled his eyes. He sat up a bit, though, still touching Noah but not right on top of him. "I feel like I caused a hell of a lot of trouble and expense."

"Yep, that's you, a high-maintenance troublemaker." Noah snorted. "It's all the peanut butter you eat. And the cheese. I'm sure Sir has an appropriate punishment in mind."

Phan blinked twice and looked sheepish. "Well, it's legitimate! My neurotic behavior made a whole new thing happen!"

"Like that's never happened for anyone else, ever." Tobias rolled his eyes. "Phantom. Who loves you?"

"You do. Noah does." Phan answered immediately, though he was a little subdued.

"Right. And Bradford cares about you very much. Hell, everyone who's ever met you cares. Don't think I'm unaware that Brian's been spending time babbling at you about his current affair. People like you, dear. And if it makes you feel better to have the business end of kink happen out of this house, I'm fine with it. If I wasn't, it wouldn't have happened. Right?"

Phan nodded slowly, obviously thinking hard. "Yes, sir," he finally said. "And I'm okay with the workout room. I really am. Um. Now. I don't know if you've noticed, but I don't have an easy time with changes or saying good bye."

"Trust me, Sir noticed. I noticed. We notice a lot about you, Phan." Noah shifted so he was talking more directly to Phan. "I also noticed how hard the decision to change her room was on you, now that you mention it. It's been there a while now, so if you're bringing it up, I have a feeling you're not really so okay with it."

Phan shook his head. "No, I'm saying it because I am okay, now. I mean, a museum would be silly, and a shrine would have her tanning my hide. For real. Like, she'd use a wooden spoon on me. I really am okay with it, now. But the combination of having all those people in the house, with our things, her things, yours and mine and Sir's, and having her room gone... that was a lot. It's better now. I still miss her, but I can find her now. I couldn't, when it was all happening at once."

"I've never really lost anyone I was that close to," Noah said thoughtfully. "Actually, I've never really been that close to anyone until recently. I mean, I love my mom, but she doesn't get me at all. My dad... well, we hardly spoke anyway. I loved Mrs. M, and I miss her, but I didn't know her like you two did."

Tobias took a deep breath. He missed her, too, some days so sharply that it was a physical ache in his chest. "Phan, when was the last time you went to see her? To visit her grave and leave flowers?"

"It's been a while," he said softly, looking at the bed cover. "It hurts."

"I know. But I think we should. You and me, together, and Noah."

Phan nodded, still looking at the bed. "Okay." He sighed and rubbed his face. "Okay. But I'll cry and be all ugly. Just so you know."

"Tears don't make you ugly, Phan," Noah said gently. He reached out and rubbed Phan's back with one hand and grinned. "But just in case you get all snotty, I'll be armed with plenty of tissues. Promise."

"Snotty is something I do all the time." Phan grinned, almost at full power. "Okay."

Tobias smiled and relaxed a bit. Phan would be okay. They all would. He got up and started toward the bed, intending to give out a hug or two, but before he could get there, Phan sat up, all but pushing Noah away.

"Um. While we're talking about her, and grief, and all this stuff..." Phan trailed off, looking distinctly uncomfortable and oddly shy. His gaze never met Tobias' eyes anyway, but he seemed to be avoiding even looking at either of them. "I have something to give you both. The... uh, the surprise. I'm all done."

Tobias stopped in place and glanced at Noah, who looked as surprised and curious as Tobias felt. "Really, dear?" Tobias allowed himself to grin but tried not to be overly enthusiastic, in case it made Phan even more uncomfortable. "That's fantastic. Where is it?" He hadn't thought that Phan had enjoyed free time since they'd arrived at the farm; he must have brought it, complete.

"It's in my bag," Phan said, his hands twisting nervously. "I can go get it if you want."

"Oh, I think we want. Don't you think, Noah?"

"Oh, yes. We definitely want. Go get it." Noah winked at Phan.

Tobias sat on the edge of the bed as Phan scurried off, half expecting that he wouldn't come back and someone -- likely Noah -- would have to go and fetch him. Phantom, however, seemed to have committed himself wholly to his mission, and he came dashing back in before Tobias could even begin to speculate with Noah.

"Okay, so here's the thing." Phan stood at the end of the bed, holding a wrinkled plastic shopping bag in front of him. "When I was first here as Sir's submissive, I spent a lot of time with Elizabeth, after I was out of recovery and had stopped being a danger to myself. When Sir was able to go back to his practice and leave me for the daytime. That's when Elizabeth taught me to cook and clean and we..." He stopped, apparently not finding the words he was looking for. "When we became close."

Tobias nodded. He remembered those days, full of worry about what was going on at home and the sweet feeling of relief when he'd get back for supper and find Phan okay and Mrs. Miller the same as ever.

Phan seemed stuck, his hands worrying the edge of the bag. "She, she taught me lots of things," he finally blurted.

"She did," Tobias said softly, with yet another nod. He started to get up, worried that Phan was going to work himself back up into a state. They'd just nicely gotten him calm. Noah, for his part, was still and listening quietly.

"Sir!" Phan held out a hand and stopped him. "You need to be with Noah. So you can share."

"All right." Tobias sat back down and moved close to Noah. "Like this?"

"Share, huh?" Noah squinted, clearly curious.

"Uh-huh." Phan took a deep breath and finally opened the bag. "It's not very good. I forgot a bunch of what she taught me, and it's a lot harder than I remember. But it's done and there's only a few holes, really, and maybe they don't matter so much?" Without looking up, and still babbling, Phan pulled a large, soft, multi-colored something out of the bag. "I remembered the knit stitch okay, but it took some tries to remember purl, and I forgot the garter stitch border to keep it from rolling and had to start over--" He was busily unfolding a blanket of many colors, his words tumbling one over another.

Tobias was speechless.

"Phan," Noah interrupted the flow of words and reached for the blanket, grinning. "Phan? Quit babbling and let us see it!"

When the blanket was finally unfolded, draped over Noah's knees and his own, Tobias found his voice. "Phan." The word came out as a croak, and he cleared his throat. "Phan," he tried again. "You made this?" It was amazing, a riot of colors and textures, bright knit squares all sewn together with a border of blue yarn. There were a few holes here and there, but on the whole the blanket was fantastic. "I didn't know you could knit."

"Elizabeth taught me," Phan said, petting a fuzzy pink square. "When you were helping horses to be born. This one's for her." He pointed at another square, soft cotton and steely gray, almost silver. "That one is for Master Bradford. The purple one beside it is Nikki."

"Where's ours?" Tobias asked immediately.

Phan's cheeks went pink. "This whole row. The blue one at the top is you. The yellow one is Noah. The orange one is me 'n Noah. The white one is you and me. The rainbow yarn is all of us."

"Rainbow, good choice." Despite the little joke, Noah's voice was full of awe. He ran his fingers over one square and then another, touching every part of it that he could reach. "Phan, it's beautiful. It's the best surprise I... so much work and thought and... it's wonderful." Noah's voice was a little rough with emotion. "It's warm, too." He smiled at Phan.

Tobias reached, gathered Phan up, and pulled him onto the bed. After a short tussle, he had Phan between himself and Noah, all three of them under the blanket. "It's beautiful," Tobias whispered. "It's better than beautiful. It's amazing. And it's so much more than just a blanket you made." It seemed important that he let Phan know that he knew that, that he was aware of the hours and hours of thinking and mourning and love that had gone into its creation. "Thank you, dear. It's a gift like no other."

Phan twisted and burrowed, somehow managing to hold tight to both of them. "It's not perfect. But it's good, right?" He nodded his head. "It's pretty and warm and I made it, so it's good."

"It is perfect. Even the imperfections are beautiful. Kind of like us, right?" Noah kissed Phan's temple. "Mrs. M would be so proud of you."

Tobias smiled and kissed the top of Phan's head. He'd been right; Phantom was going to be just fine.