3. Lila

3

LILA

"So, how is it there?" my best friend Ally asked, a skeptical tug on her features as she squinted at me over FaceTime. The low light of sunset spilling over the tree outside the window gave me a homesick pang in the pit of my stomach. I was missing summer in South Philly, and the sour frown pulling at Ally's lips didn't help.

Trees were in abundance in Kelly Lakes, but there was something about watching nature bloom and flourish among the concrete that made it even more special.

"It's good. Quiet. Hard to sleep without all the cars and sirens going by."

"Yeah, that would probably keep me up too." Ally nodded, scanning my face in a way that had me on the defensive.

"But it's not bad. My landlords are super sweet, the neighbors I've met so far are friendly, and my boss is great. I have a lot of work to do to clean up what his old manager left behind, but once I'm done, it should be just maintenance."

I'd both looked forward to and dreaded speaking to Ally today. She'd had a front-row seat to the shitshow of the past few months, even getting in Ted's face to tell him to leave me the hell alone the night he'd slashed my tire.

But while she was supportive of my decision to move to Kelly Lakes, I could tell she wasn't happy about it. And the last thing I needed was more doubt.

"I'm trying really hard not to beg you to come back. You know that, right?" Her chest rose as she took in a long breath through her nostrils. I didn't know whether to laugh or tear up.

"I'm not that far. Well, I'm a few hours away, but drivable. When you get some time off, you can come for a visit."

"You're really never going to come back? Even to visit?"

"I am. Eventually. Right now…" I trailed off, still unable to fathom how I'd gotten to this point. Not just arriving in my new hometown, but how quickly I'd felt forced out of my old one.

The night I'd decided to break up with Ted, even though I'd known it was the right thing to do, I hadn't wanted to hurt him. I'd expected one last outburst before he stormed off, never imagining he'd simply refuse to let me go.

Each time I'd ignored his attempts to "talk" and get back together, he'd grown angrier and more unpredictable.

Who knew what he would do next?

I'd left because I hadn't wanted to find out.

"I hate that asshole for pushing you out of your own home—and your fuckhead brother for not sticking up for you."

"Hard same to all of that. I know it seems like I took the easy way out?—"

"I never said that. Moving to a tiny little town and starting from zero is most definitely not the easy way out. I absolutely get why you left. I just hate that you had to do it."

A sad silence washed over us. The mountain of work for me at Russo's Contracting was a glorious and welcome distraction, keeping me busy all day and too tired at night to contemplate if this was the worst choice of my life or if Ted would somehow find me here.

"I just don't like thinking of you up there forever. I'm selfish. For almost all our lives, you've been no more than twenty minutes from me."

Her eyes drifted away from the screen, and I felt her frustrated exhale.

"For almost all our lives, I've been no more than twenty minutes away from everyone. It's an adjustment for me too."

I clenched my eyes shut for a moment, already regretting the question I was about to ask.

"Have you seen him lately?"

She shut her eyes before meeting my gaze with a grimace.

"I wasn't going to bring it up, but yes. I was in Reading Terminal getting breakfast yesterday, and he cornered me next to the Amish donuts. He asked me where you were and when you were coming back. Said that he only wanted to talk and why were you making this so damn difficult ?"

My stomach clenched before it dropped. I'd left, and as I'd feared, he still hadn't let up.

I'd made it clear multiple times that we were over and I wanted nothing to do with him, but he wouldn't stop with the gifts or the furious voice messages when I refused to acknowledge any of them, eventually just showing up wherever I happened to be.

My choice to come here hadn't been only to put distance between Ted and myself. The stigma over what everyone had witnessed between us and how I'd lost my job clung to me like a fungus.

Friends avoided making plans with me after that night in the restaurant parking lot, and I'd dreaded running into a former coworker on the street.

None of it was personal or my fault, but it had seemed like I had nowhere to go, no one who understood what I was going through except Ally and my cousin—who was far enough away in Brooklyn.

I'd felt isolated and trapped, and while this all still seemed like a weird vacation interlude and not my new home, that shrinking feeling of nowhere to go or hide had finally begun to dissipate once Claudia had given me the keys to my new apartment.

I grasped on to that as a possible good sign that I was headed in the right direction by coming here. But hearing how Ted still seemed hell-bent on contacting me had stolen some of my newfound peace.

Kelly Lakes was an obscure enough town, but I was still hiding in plain sight. If he found me and caused trouble up here, then it would all have been for nothing.

"I told him to fuck off loud enough to make heads turn in our direction and embarrass him sufficiently to walk away. I'm guessing your brother doesn't know where you are either?"

"I sure hope not. My parents promised not to tell anyone, but they also said that if I explained to Doug why I left, he'd understand and wouldn't let Ted know where I was if I asked him not to. They're still in eternal denial when it comes to their only son."

When I'd called my parents to tell them I'd moved, I was met with a long, shocked silence. I went through all the details I hadn't wanted to share with them, but, as I'd expected, their non-reaction had dangled between us, exactly as it had whenever I'd had an issue with Doug growing up.

My mother had suggested I just sit and talk to Ted. Angry tears had burned my eyes, but I'd managed to tell them that when and if I felt comfortable enough to visit them, I wouldn't if I knew my brother would be there, and I'd hung up without giving them my address.

"I couldn't sit around and wait for Ted to move on or fixate on someone else." I lifted my hair off my damp neck and twisted it into a bun.

"I agree." She rolled her eyes when my brows jumped. "Yes, I agree with your decision to move to bumpkinville because Ted is still an unhinged piece of shit who fucked up your life here."

The laugh rumbling out of my chest relaxed me for the first time since I'd made the choice to leave.

"It's not quite bumpkinville. It's different, but not bad. You'll see when you visit."

"So, is it true what they say about hot guys in a small town?" Ally asked with a sly grin.

"I don't know. What do they say?"

"Well, that they're sweet, helpful, and hot." Her brows jumped. "Meet anyone like that yet?"

Mike flashed in my mind, and how I hadn't even been here for a week and yet had made an idiot of myself in front of him twice.

"What?" She scooted closer to the camera. "You did meet someone!"

"No. Well, not really."

"How do you not really meet someone?"

I let my head drop into my hands and pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Please tell me he's hot." She clasped her hands under her chin. "I'd feel so much better about all this if he was."

"He is," I admitted. "But I didn't meet him. Not like you're hoping anyway." I pressed the heels of my palms against my eyes. "He's a local cop. Young. He found me peeking in Claudia's bar window, and when he asked me if everything was okay, I got dizzy when I turned around and fell on top of him."

"Ooh, I love where this is going," she said, bunching her shoulders as if she were about to let out a squeal.

"No, you really don't. As it turned out, he's my boss's son. I managed to clarify that Claudia was expecting me and I was exhausted from the long drive up. Thankfully, he didn't go into that when he stopped by to see his father. Just told him that we'd met before."

"You didn't faint then too, did you?"

"No." I shook my head. "That would have probably been better. He walked me out after Jake closed the office for the day, and we had the beginnings of a decent conversation until I noticed a hole in one of my tires, and I…reacted."

"You thought Ted had found you and was hiding somewhere." Ally winced. "The fainting thing is cute, but ugh, you poor thing. Did he seem suspicious?"

"If he wasn't, then he's not much of a cop," I scoffed.

My entire body had tensed up as my blood ran cold, all the bad memories barreling over me so fast I could barely speak, let alone move.

When Ted had started following me, texting me after I'd arrived home with details of what I'd been wearing and who I'd been with, his fixation on me had gone from irritating to terrifying, and my body was taxed and spent from so much constant tension.

One flat tire had brought me back there all over again.

I'd humiliated myself once again in front of this guy, but Mike's touch and the concern in his crystal-blue eyes when he'd taken my hands had managed to slow my thumping heart enough for it to stop echoing in my ears.

"Mike changed the tire and took me to his friend's mechanic shop to have the spare replaced, but he eyeballed me the entire time as if I'd lost my mind."

"You're used to being on edge," Ally said in a soft voice. "Like the quiet, that will take a bit to get used to. Did he ask you a lot of questions?"

"Other than if I was okay, no. But I work for his father. Jake knows I needed a job, but I never went into details. If he finds out, he may not want any trouble, and then I'm really screwed." I rubbed my temple, the panic I was trying not to think about sinking in.

"First of all, you were not the cause of the trouble, and Ted has no idea where you are. For argument's sake, if he ever found out, your boss's son being a cop would take care of the bullshit problem you had here of none of them taking you seriously. You'll be fine, other than denying the simmering attraction." She leaned closer as she popped her brows.

"There is no simmering attraction . He's only twenty-five and my boss's son. Plus, I'm not ready for any of that yet."

"Oh, for fuck's sake," Ally said. "You're only thirty-two. I get what you're saying about him being the boss's son and the trauma you just went through with Ted making you hesitate. But younger guys are fun. Sweet, attentive, and appreciate women who know what they want."

I had to laugh at her exaggerated shiver. "Al, that is not me. At least, not now."

Thoughts of how sweet and attentive Mike had been both times we'd met flashed in my head. He was all about what I needed and making sure that I was okay.

Which was his job as a police officer. I'd do well to take the concern in Mike's baby blues as nothing other than that.

I didn't have it in me to entertain anything else.

"And, another plot twist, he lives around the corner from my new apartment. He told me when I had to give my address at the mechanic's shop."

"I know that was a triggering thing for you, but this is kind of delicious. Hot young cop, already coming to your rescue twice, in walking distance on long, hot nights of yearning?—"

"Stop it!" I shouted at the screen as Ally collapsed in giggles. "Mike does not want someone like me."

"Oh my God," Ally huffed. "I'm a year older than you, and neither of us is ready for the old-age home just yet?—"

"It's not the age difference. Well, not only. Look at what happened. I can't even talk to someone without freaking out or looking over my shoulder."

Mike seemed like a nice guy, but so had Ted. I'd relaxed enough to almost flirt a little with him until a harmless trigger brought my guard right back up.

"Babe," she started, glaring at me. "Give yourself a break. You've been through a lot, and moving is a big adjustment, no matter why you're there. Forgive yourself for not having perfect social grace for a while. He is a cop, so maybe he's into the whole damsel-in-distress thing."

I burst out laughing until I heard the wimpy chime of my doorbell.

"Like you said, don't let this all be for nothing. You don't have to worry about Ted's next move or who you'll run into. Try to relax enough to make the most of it."

I gave her a slow nod as the doorbell rang again.

"I better go. Thanks, Ally. Maybe you can come up a weekend this month and help me decorate."

"Sure. And listen, I love you. You'll be fine. Better go see if that's Officer Hot Stuff."

"Why would he be here?"

"Maybe he needs to borrow an egg or something, as he cooks breakfast…shirtless. Then invites you over to?—"

"Stop." I turned my head when I heard a third chime. "I hate to interrupt your active imagination, but let me see who's actually here. And I love you too."

I shut my laptop screen and headed to my door, finding my landlord when I peeked through the side window.

"Terry, hi. Is everything okay?"

"Oh fine. I didn't mean to scare you, but I thought maybe you'd want to have some wine on the porch with us. I saw your car in front."

Terry was, I assumed, in her late sixties or seventies. Like her sister Kathy, she was divorced with grown kids who had moved out of town. Both sisters had inherited the house from their parents and were Kelly Lakes lifers, according to Claudia. They'd each lived in one of the apartments until their kids left, and then they'd moved in together to earn income from renting the one downstairs.

Terry had told me they'd both gone back to their maiden names after their divorces because they'd rather be known as spinsters than connected to assholes.

She hadn't gone deeper into how or why their ex-husbands were assholes, but her comment was enough to make me love them both instantly.

"Sure," I said, grabbing my keys and taking a quick look at myself in the mirror hanging by the door. The sisters loved decorating with mirrors. One hung above the couch, in addition to the one next to the door. They'd told me it "opened the place up," but it was odd seeing myself from all angles everywhere I looked.

The loose knot on top of my head wasn't terrible. I wore a tank top and cutoff jean shorts, perfect for the warm and humid night. I looked decent enough to sit outside, and I locked the door behind me as Terry made her way to the front.

"Have a seat," Kathy said, setting a plastic wineglass on their side table. Her hair was as white as her sister's was bright red. "White okay?"

"White is great, thank you." I settled into one of their lounge chairs, smiling at the unspoken dynamic between them. Terry plopped in two cubes of ice just as Kathy poured.

"Thanks for joining us," Kathy said, lifting her plastic glass. "We figured you'd like some air since we've only seen you go to work and come home."

"She's only been here a few days. Forgive my nosy sister," Terry told me as she narrowed her eyes at Kathy.

"I'm not being nosy. I just thought she'd like to get out," Kathy grumbled as she shook her head.

"No, this is great. I appreciate the company," I said and was surprised how much I meant it. Talking to Ally made me realize how lonely I'd been. I'd just been too terrified to notice.

"How's working for Jake so far? He's easy on the eyes, right?" Terry said, raising a brow over the lip of her glass as she took a long sip.

"He's a good boss. We've been busy organizing everything," I said, taking a sip and avoiding the question. Yes, Jake was attractive, but he was my boss and happily married. The ladies were nice, but something told me to choose my words carefully.

"His son lives over there," Kathy said, tipping her chin up the street. "It's nice to have a cop around here. Not that we see much trouble, but you never know."

"Yes, I met Mike too. And that's true," I agreed as I took another long sip.

Before I could help myself, I craned my neck to see if I could make out the truck he'd mentioned he had when he'd taken me to the mechanic shop. Maybe he was on shift, or maybe he was on a date with someone.

And maybe I shouldn't be so interested.

"Mike sometimes comes over and fixes things for us. Handy like his father. Such a good kid."

"He's not a kid anymore," Terry said. "That boy is all man and wears the hell out of that cop's uniform."

"That boy is Rose Russo's grandson. What is wrong with you?"

Terry shrugged at her sister.

"He's not my grandson. I think he's just about your age, Lila. And, as far as I know, is single. I haven't seen him with any girls in a while."

I nodded, biting my lip to stifle a laugh.

So this was small-town life.

Not that I hadn't had nosy neighbors back in Philly, but they'd seemed more subdued about it. We'd had our older ladies who loved to watch the action on the street from their stoops or windows, but I couldn't recall any of them being this…forward.

If I ever did decide to date anyone, which was so far beyond the foreseeable future, I couldn't even imagine it, everyone around here would know about it.

That was both good and bad.

More eyes on me might mean it wouldn't be as easy for someone to hide in the shadows. It was an extra layer of protection I hadn't considered as I let the ice-cold wine slide down my throat, almost relaxing me.

"And what a coincidence, we were just talking about you," Kathy said, her gaze drifting over my shoulder.

I swiveled my head to find Mike standing behind me, wiping his brow with the back of his hand. His brown hair was sweaty and soaked, turning it almost black.

It was a battle of wills with my eyes not to track a bead of sweat as it dripped down his neck and along his bare chest.

Keeping my gaze at eye level was taxing enough to give me a headache.

"I was off today and thought I'd get a run in while there was almost a cool breeze tonight. The police gym gets a little boring sometimes." He laughed before tipping his head back and draining the water bottle in his hand.

"Hey, Lila," he said, a slow grin spreading his cheeks. That smile was a lethal weapon.

"Hey, Mike." I sent him a tiny smile back before taking another sip, trying like hell not to count his abs in my periphery.

"I was just saying how you fix things for us sometimes. Your father taught you well." Terry said, an almost flirty smile lifting her lips.

Mike snuck me a grin as if we were sharing a private joke. My heart fluttered in my chest, but not in a tense, on-guard kind of way for once.

"Yes, my tutelage at Russo's Contracting taught me how to hammer a nail and put most things together without instructions. But I can credit the LEGO I had as a kid for that, too."

He rested his elbows on the railing, treating us to the flex of his forearms. Mike was tall with a lean but broad build. Not bulky but strong, good for fighting bad guys and other things I hadn't thought about a man doing in a long time. Yet the intrusive thoughts were coming at me left and right.

He needed to leave or come back with a shirt on before I geared up to make a fool of myself in front of him for a third time.

But my God, this guy was beautiful.

Did he even have a clue? Judging by the hint of a smirk twitching on the side of his mouth, maybe. But I didn't get an arrogant vibe from him.

More playful. Cute. Sexy.

If it wouldn't have looked rude, I would've downed my wine, thanked them both, and given Mike a quick wave before I retreated into my apartment.

Appreciating an attractive man wasn't a terrible thing—or it shouldn't have felt that way.

The way his gaze trapped mine whenever I glanced in his direction as he made small talk with Kathy and Terry had me wondering if he was appreciating me back.

Or maybe he was watching for any more sudden or weird movements.

I blamed my reactions to Mike on a mix of homesickness from my call with Ally and the isolation finally getting to me. The last thing I wanted or needed was to make a mess when I was trying to simplify my life.

"Right, Lila?" Kathy asked, pulling me out of my wayward thoughts and back onto their front porch.

"If you need me to help you hang up stuff, I'm more than happy to. Just let me run home to take a shower."

Shit, what did I just daydream through?

"I figured, you have all those nice pictures just leaning against the wall. Why let them sit there when Mike can hang them up in no time?" Terry said, lifting her shoulder with a sly smile playing on her mouth.

"Pictures and knickknacks are what makes a place feel like home. At least, for me." Kathy reached over to pat my knee. "And we want you to feel at home here."

I detected the sympathy in her eyes, wondering if Claudia had alluded to why I'd come to Kelly Lakes and had taken this apartment so quickly. I trusted her enough to know she'd either given the ladies a short version or one that didn't make them suspicious of me.

I didn't want either of them to pity me or feel badly that my apartment's bare walls made it a cold place to stay.

"You're right," I said, nodding my chin at Mike. "As long as you feel up to it, I wouldn't mind hanging up some pictures."

The smile breaking out across his face made the air whoosh right out of my lungs. All I could do was smile back as the lack of oxygen kept me from forming any words.

Men had never made me tongue-tied like this. I had recent difficulty being around them, but it was from keeping them from getting too close, not from fighting to keep my distance.

"I guess I'll be right back, then," Mike said as he backed away. "And if you ladies happened to have a beer in the fridge, I could be convinced to take that as payment."

"That can be arranged, Mike," Terry called as he headed to his apartment.

If I couldn't get away from Mike, learning how to be in a tiny space with him as he flexed and hammered and threw his effortless charm all over the place might help.

Or he'd watch me freak out again after something simple set me off without warning.

Being alone for so long sucked, but no matter where I was, I didn't know how to be anything else.