23. Lila

23

LILA

"Jesus, that's a lot," Ally said, squinting at the screen as if she expected me to combust at any minute.

She wasn't far off.

When things with Ted had been at their worst, I'd spent most of the time in a zoned-out limbo. Too tense and afraid to fully relax, even with the small amounts of sleep I'd manage to get, left me with a constant and all-consuming exhaustion.

This was so much worse. I'd never thought I'd find being miserable on a consistent basis easier than what I was going through now.

When it was all lows, it was much easier for my nervous system to adjust. This time, the terror and misery were dotted with moments of wonderful, making what was happening to us that much worse because it was like a cruel tease.

"So you're really going to leave?" Ally asked, the deep crease in her forehead as she scrutinized me making me feel even worse.

It reminded me of a very similar conversation between us only a few months ago. Back then, although I'd loved Philly, I'd dreaded the hassle of starting over more than leaving. Nothing had been keeping me there, other than familiarity and the fear of the unknown.

While I'd only been here for a short time—at least relative to spending my entire life in Philly—leaving Kelly Lakes would break my heart.

"I don't want to, but I really don't think I have a choice. I was ready to fight it when it was only us, but threatening his little sister took it to a whole new level. It feels selfish to stay and put them through that."

"It's not selfish, and from what you just told me, no one wants you to go. You have a chance to finally get this douche and never think about him again."

"If it's him," I scoffed, raking a hand through my hair. "If it's not, I have no idea who I pissed off enough to do this to us."

"Maybe it's not you. Maybe it's Mike. Maybe this would have happened to anyone he dated. So, for whatever reason, you running away to Brooklyn to be a third wheel in your cousin's marriage is only a Band-Aid and won't solve anything."

"And is just what they want," I said, hating that I was playing right into their hands.

"Exactly. And whoever is doing this is pissing off the entire police department up there, so it's a short matter of time before they get caught. If you want my opinion…" Ally arched her brow as she leaned closer to the screen.

"Always," I said, dropping my head back against my chair. I pushed out a long gust of air but couldn't loosen the knot in my stomach. It was eight thirty, the twilight turning the late summer sky a dark purple outside my window.

Mike had to be home by now, unless something else had happened. The crack in his voice when he'd said he loved me so much I brought him to his knees played over and over in my frazzled head.

The feeling was mutual, which made all of this so damn awful.

"Whoever this fucker is thought by raising the stakes with his sister, it would make you leave town. Which may not be wrong…" She trailed off, her eyes thinned to slits at me.

"But go on," I said, nodding toward the screen.

"What they did was back themselves into a corner. Threatening a child is a big deal, and threatening one you said is related to the chief of police is just plain fucking stupid. Do you really love Mike?"

"Yes, of course I do. When I saw his sister sobbing and scared, my first instinct was to run and stop hurting them all."

"But you're not hurting them all. I've known you for a long time. I've never seen you glow over anyone before. Even when you'd tell me about some random piece of furniture he'd put together for you or a walk you took around the block, I knew you were in love before you did."

I had to laugh. "You didn't say anything."

"In that case, you coming to it on your own was the better way." She chuckled. "Take away the last few days. Are you happy where you are? With Mike?"

"Yes. Really, really happy." I sniffled, surprised I still had tears in me since I'd sobbed so hard after Officer Torres dropped me off, I was woozy from dehydration.

"Then what the hell are you doing over there? Go get him back. Take the pepper spray just in case, but go."

I laughed and pressed my palm against my forehead. "Thank you. I really hope my life gets boring soon."

"Not too boring. If everything weren't such shit for you right now, I'd be teasing you about your little evening delight on the beach." She waggled her eyebrows. "I love that Mike is bringing out this side of you."

"I'd love it a lot more if half the police department didn't know about this side of me too."

"This is all part of the jealousy from whoever is doing this. Someone wants your life because it's too good. Maybe if you look at it that way…"

"I can see how stupid I was not to fight for it in the first place?"

Ally tapped her chin. "Something like that. Now, stop talking to me and get over there."

I stared at the black screen for a few minutes before I came up to the mirror behind my couch, flinching at my reflection.

The dark circles around my eyes and deep crease in my forehead had aged me since this morning. My gaze traveled from my exhausted face to my living room behind me and the new blue curtains I'd bought and managed to figure out how to hang up.

I really did love it here.

And I loved the cop around the corner.

I'd called Ally in hysterics, hoping that she'd direct me on what the hell to do, and she'd given me the best clarity I could have asked for.

Someone wanted my life, our life. Either for themselves or to destroy it.

And I wouldn't give them the satisfaction of letting them do it.

After I found the pepper spray in my drawer and stuffed it inside my purse, I rushed out of my apartment before I lost my nerve.

I locked all three locks and made my way across the street, wishing we had more streetlights as I jogged toward Mike's apartment.

I spotted the glow of a light from his window, but most of the second floor looked black.

I pressed his doorbell, jumping at the loud chime wafting onto the quiet street.

Something like this would have made me freeze up a few weeks ago, and it should have now that the threat was real instead of a phantom remnant of trauma.

But I'd found it in me to stay upright and not run, especially since, right now, there was nowhere to run to.

I let out a relieved breath at the shuffle of footsteps on the other side of the door. I met Mike's blue gaze, those damn eyes glowing under the dim porch light.

He leaned against the door, saying nothing as he watched me. I guessed he'd said all he needed to, and the rest was up to me.

"I love you. And I want to stay." I eased closer, Mike's eyes blazing into mine as he stayed silent. "If you'll still have me."

His shoulders drooped, his chest deflating as he chuckled to himself and softly pulled me by the arm inside, shutting and locking the door behind us.

"If I'll still have you?" His shoulders jerked with a chuckle as he cupped my cheek. "Get over here."

He hauled me to him, taking my mouth in a scorching, soul-searing kiss as he backed me against the wall. We pawed at each other, tongues tangling and teeth scraping as neither of us could get close enough.

Lust replaced all the adrenaline pumping through my veins as he pressed into me, his erection hard and heavy against my core.

"Take me upstairs," I said, my voice a breathy whisper when we broke apart.

"My landlord isn't home tonight." He nodded to the front door of the downstairs apartment as he hooked my leg over his hip and popped the button of my shorts.

"Always so wet," he said, whimpering as his head dropped to my shoulder. "I missed you so much already."

His mouth crashed into mine. The thought of how close I'd come to leaving, combined with the perfect circles he was tracing over my clit, had me crazy enough with need to almost forget the shitty situation we were in—or who could be watching through the window.

I'd missed him too, even though it had only been hours. But I also missed who we were before I'd almost let us be torn apart.

I moaned when his tongue slid against mine as he made long strokes inside my mouth, tasting me over and over as if he was making sure I was really there.

"Let me take you here. Please, sweetheart."

His words came out like a guttural plea, matching the desperation spinning in my head.

I nodded, fisting the back of his T-shirt as he lifted me up, pulling my shorts a few inches past my hips before he entered me with one hard thrust.

The new angle made me gasp, reaching that spot deep inside that already had me halfway to the edge. He snaked his arm around my waist as his other hand went to my hair, grasping a fistful as he pulled my head back and crushed his lips against mine.

"You're mine. You can't leave," he grunted out, pressing his hand into the wall above me. "God, I love you so much."

"I love you too," I said, gasping as he went deeper and harder, the wall thumping behind me with every thrust.

"No one is taking you away from me. Fuck, you're so wet," he growled into my neck. "That's it, baby. Make a mess all over my cock."

I slumped against him, my knees almost giving out before my leg started to tremble.

"I love being inside you," he whispered into my neck. "And fucking you against the wall. Look at that leg shake." His hand traveled up my thigh before he dug his fingers into my ass. "You're going to come hard for me, aren't you, baby?"

I opened my mouth to reply but could only moan when he pressed his thumb against my clit.

"Then I'm taking you upstairs and eating that sweet pussy long enough for the whole block to hear you scream. Fuck them, sweetheart. They can't have this."

"No, they can't."

Mike groaned in my ear, going in even harder before my release barreled over me. I bit into his shoulder as he pulsed inside me, his chest heaving against mine as he muttered dirty words of love and praise while his breathing slowed.

"That may leave a mark," he said as he set me down, lifting my shorts back on my waist as his body shuddered against me. "And I really hope it does."

"We may have to stay down here since I can't feel my legs," I half joked as I pressed my hand against the wall to steady myself, my knees knocking together as the blood flow came back to my limbs.

"That makes two of us."

Mike wrapped his arms around me, our chests rising and falling together as my pulse slowed.

"Stay with me."

It was both a command and a plea—and could've meant tonight or forever. I didn't ask him to clarify since my answer was the same.

"Absolutely yes."