12. Mike

12

MIKE

"So you're telling me that you're not going to come out to see me at all before summer ends?"

My head fell back against my driver's seat as my mother's disappointed sigh filled the inside of my truck. This was the argument we had all the time. I had time off coming to me and could have made plans to see her in California.

But did I want to?

I loved my mother and I missed her, but I knew what would happen. I would fly all the way out there, and she'd be happy to see me for about an hour before the questions would start.

Am I really happy settling in Kelly Lakes, and why did I ever become a cop?

Then, and for the rest of the trip, she would pry about my father—his business, his young wife, and about all the things that my sister was probably getting that I hadn't when I was a kid.

When I was younger, I'd had no choice but to believe her, because why would my own mother lie to me? And despite that, I still, even to this day, didn't think she had done it on purpose.

I had no recollection of a time when my parents were happy together. For as long as I could remember, they'd fought about everything. While I'd hated leaving our house and my dad, I still remembered the relief when they'd begun living apart.

I'd tense up on weekends when my father would pick me up, but he'd never played into her attempts to pick a fight.

She'd tell me later that it was because he didn't care. I'd learned as I got older that he'd never reacted because he was the only one of them who'd put me first.

She'd never gotten over my father or been able to let go. My aunt Kristina had told me that fixating on my father was her twisted way of staying connected to him.

I'd distanced myself from my mother ever since I was a teenager, but I always worried about her. While my father's sister had her own bias against the woman who tortured her brother and traumatized me in the process, Aunt Kristina was spot-on.

Openly and actively hating my father was my mother's way of holding on to him, however fucked up it was.

Her second husband had never offered her much, other than a big house and a more-than-comfortable lifestyle. He worked all the time and had never bothered to make any kind of connection with me. He'd claimed he wasn't good with kids, but I'd also looked exactly like the man his wife was still obsessed with, so I'd never blamed him for his automatic resentment of me.

"I'll try, Mom, but you know how it is over the summer. I'm still new on the force."

"Haven't you been a cop for two summers already? You should have some kind of seniority as to when you want vacation, or is Kelly Lakes still that backward? If you can't this summer, come in the fall. Or whenever. I'd like to see my only son more than once per year when I come to see him."

"I'll try. The summer is kind of our busy season here with all the kids out from school."

"You didn't have to become a cop, you know. I always thought you'd become an architect."

"Why, Mom?" I had to laugh. "Because I used to like to build LEGO?"

"No. You had your father's knack for building beautiful things. I hate that you're wasting it there."

I clenched my eyes shut for a second. When I'd hear the pain in her voice, I could almost forget the venom she'd let out before and after. So as per usual, I'd bite my tongue to hold back from hurting her anymore.

"I'm not wasting anything, Mom. This is what I want to do."

She'd never understood why I wanted to become a cop. I could never explain it to either of my parents. But my father would try to understand.

"Listen, I have to go. I'll call you later."

"All right," she said. "Stay safe, please."

The whole conversation took me back to my childhood when I'd go see my father for the weekend and he'd fill it with two days of fun. Then I'd come home and have to hide it from her.

After I'd been living with my father for a while as a teenager and had begun not only to like it but thrive, she'd accused me of loving my father more than her.

I hadn't.

I didn't.

My father was just a lot easier to love than she ever was.

I pulled into my father's driveway and shut off the engine. It was amazing how one phone conversation could exhaust me more than a week's worth of work.

I climbed out of the cab and headed to the backyard, following the smell of charcoal wafting from their back deck.

"Mike!" my sister squealed and clobbered me with a hug.

"Hey, K," I said, bending to kiss her cheek. "I'm happy to see you too." I chuckled as she squeezed my waist.

"There's my firstborn," Dad said, a wide grin stretching his mouth as he stepped away from the grill to pull me into a hug.

"Everything okay, Mike?" he asked as he stepped back.

"Yeah, Dad. Just a long week of work."

"Guess what?" Keely asked, pulling on the hem of my T-shirt.

"What?" I said. The wide smile my sister always had for me eased the turbulence in my head.

"Lila's here!"

"Here?" I squinted at my sister. "Like, right now?"

She nodded. "We met Aunt Claudia and Jason for coffee at that new place, and Lila was with them."

I held in a laugh at my sister's widened eyes.

"I told her she could come here for Dad's barbecue. She didn't have her car, so we brought her home with us and you can just drive her home later since she lives so close to you. Isn't that awesome?"

"Take a breath, K," I said, smoothing the loose hairs that had escaped from her ponytail away from her forehead.

"I can't help it. I'm so excited!"

"She made it kind of hard to say no."

I craned my neck to Lila's voice. With a short black sundress and her hair slicked back in a ponytail, her full mouth stretched into a smile, she was the beautiful vision I needed right now.

It was just like that night I'd had a shitty day at work and all I'd wanted was her. I'd hoped I'd managed to keep that mostly hidden from her then, but nothing would get past my family today.

Keeping how I felt about Lila hidden had become taxing as fuck, and I was sick of doing it.

Plus, I was terrible at it.

"I don't doubt it. Glad my sister ambushed you with an invitation."

"She didn't ambush me. She made a good offer." Lila smiled down at my sister. "I figured you wouldn't mind driving me home since I'm on the way."

Her wide smile almost made me forget the lousy mood I had been dragged into only minutes ago.

"I'm glad you're both here," Dad said with an easy smile as he looked between us. "I see Lila every day, but it's nice to spend an evening with my son." Dad slapped my shoulder.

"You act like you didn't see me two days ago."

"That's different," he said. "I saw you walking around the block while you were on duty. Today I actually get to spend some time with you." He looped an arm around my shoulder.

"Are you getting sentimental in your old age, Dad?" I patted his chest.

"I'm not old," he said, scowling back at me. "Ask your sergeant and chief who kicked their asses in handball this week."

"Hey, Mike." Peyton pulled me into a big hug. "I didn't get to see you this week, so I can be glad to see you, right?"

"Sure, Peyton." I kissed her cheek. She was fourteen years younger than my father and had been my high school guidance counselor before she became my stepmother. I could still talk to her about anything, and she'd listen without judgment, even about my mother. I'd need time to shake off the phone call, but the usual knot in my stomach had already loosened being here.

The distraction of Lila was an unexpected but welcome bonus. For once, my fixation on her would be helpful.

I took a seat at their patio table, watching as Keely ran up to my father, pulling at his arm until he leaned over for her to whisper in his ear. Whatever she said made him laugh, the eyes we shared crinkling in the corners as his chest rumbled. He kissed her cheek and tickled her side until she giggled.

My father was a great dad. He was patient, stern when he needed to be, but he'd always enjoyed his kids.

"Are you okay?" Lila whispered, leaning close enough for me to catch the vanilla scent of her perfume that had haunted my dreams and most of my fantasies lately. "You look like something is bothering you."

I shook my head. "Long story, but I'm fine." I nudged her side, my smile growing as hers deepened. "Glad my sister and stepmother kidnapped you."

"We didn't kidnap her," Keely said, getting between us to climb into my lap. "Mom said she wanted to invite her anyway. And after we had coffee—" she stilled and raised her index finger "—well, Jason and I had chocolate shakes, and everyone else had coffee, Lila came with us to the market, and we got two different kinds of ice cream for dessert." She held up two fingers.

"How'd you con them into that?" I asked my sister as Lila smiled at me over her shoulder.

"Oh, it's summer," Peyton said. "May as well live it up before we both have to go back to school, right?" Peyton gave Keely's ponytail a gentle tug as my father wrapped his arm around his wife's waist from behind.

They'd always seemed like they'd been together forever and were meant to be—a big reason why I couldn't even mention Peyton's name in front of my mother.

"We did plan on inviting you here sooner," she said to Lila. "And I was about to before Keely strongly suggested you come home with us."

"Well, I appreciate both invites," Lila said, grinning up at Peyton. "Can I help you with anything?"

"I wouldn't mind some help with sorting out the side dishes inside."

"Why don't you go inside and help your mom and Lila?" my father told my sister, pointing to the screen door with his spatula.

"Why?" she asked, squinting at our father.

"Because I want to talk to Mike for a minute." Dad lifted a brow at me. "And it's a boys conversation."

"You can't do that. You have to include girls in everything ," she said, her hands on her hips.

"Come on, K," Peyton said, shooting my father a weird look. "We'll all have our own girls talk."

Keely pursed her lips, and she popped off my lap to follow her mother and Lila inside. Dad set down his spatula beside the grill and took a seat next to me at the picnic table.

"What's on your mind?"

"How do you know there's something on my mind?" I asked, dropping my gaze to the ground instead of looking him in the eye.

"Because I've known you since the day you were born, and I know work exhaustion and other kinds of exhaustion, so talk to me."

"It's not a big deal. I just got off the phone with Mom. She wants me to come out there for the summer, and I keep putting her off. I'm going to have to do it eventually." I scrubbed a hand down my face.

"No, you don't. We've always told you that. You're an adult now. You can choose whether you want to play into her games."

"Yeah, but I worry what she'll do if I don't. So, I could manage a weekend in California if I have to. I just need to work up to it."

He reached into the cooler by the grill and fished a bottle of beer out of the ice.

"You don't have to. I've told you that. You've spent enough time worrying about her. You're a good kid, but she isn't your responsibility."

He opened the bottle and set it down in front of me.

"I'm a twenty-five-year-old kid, Dad. I carry a gun to work."

"Please don't remind me of that. You know how I try to forget," he said, a frown pulling at his mouth. "I was worried about you when you first came, but I see Lila relaxed you a little bit." He nodded to the back door, shooting me a small smile.

I rubbed at my eyes, a different kind of stress zinging up my spine.

"Don't do that, Dad."

"Do what? The minute you noticed her, you lit up. And if my old eyes served me right, she lit up right back. I'm glad Keely ambushed her to come here today."

I was trying to figure out how to reply when I heard the slide of the screen door.

"So Keely tells me I need to have both a hot dog and hamburger because yours are the best," Lila said to my father as she set down a large bowl of macaroni salad in the middle of their patio table.

"They are," I said with a slow nod. "A Jake Russo hamburger is legendary. You're in for a treat, Delilah."

"Wow, I feel bad for missing out all this time, Mikey." She took a seat next to Keely. "Anything else I should know around here?"

"Hmm," my sister said, her brows drawing together. "I'm not sure. You said you know the coffee shop by Dad's office and Salma's. I'm only allowed in Aunt Claudia's bar during the day, but so is Jason, and that's his mom."

Lila grinned at me over Keely's head.

"If you think of anything else, make sure to let me know."

"You should come to the little beach with us next time," Keely said, grabbing Lila's arm.

"Where's the little beach?" Lila crinkled her nose at me.

"At the end of Grove Street." I told Lila. "It's very small. You can only fit maybe three beach chairs."

"So you have to wake up really early in the morning or else you can't fit," Keely said before grabbing Lila's arm. "Can you come with us this weekend if we go?"

"Keely, I think this weekend it's supposed to rain. We can go another time," I said. "I know you're excited to have Lila here, but she may not want to get up so early on a weekend."

"I wouldn't mind." She smiled at my sister. "A whole patch of sand to ourselves to build sandcastles would be cool."

"Exactly!"

We all chuckled at my sister's loud exhale.

"I like your bracelet," my sister said, eyeing the black string around Lila's wrist.

"Thank you.' Lila smiled as she stretched out her arm and twisted her wrist back and forth. "My best friend bought it for me before I moved here. It's called a ‘you've got this' bracelet. I was a little scared when I first moved here, so she gave it to me to remind me to be brave."

Keely moved closer and traced along the silver beads in the middle.

"But she didn't need it," I told my sister as I found Lila's gaze. "She was brave all on her own."

Lila's lips curved into a sheepish smile as a blush stained her cheeks. It was all I could do not to shoot up from my seat and pull her into my arms.

"If it rains and Mike isn't a cop that day, you can come to his apartment. We're making tacos next instead of pizza, so no flour mess."

"But I'm sure we'll find other ways to make a mess," I said, holding my gaze on Lila. "And if you're around and want to come, you know you're always welcome."

"Yes!" My sister fist-pumped and flung her arms around Lila's neck. "Making pizza was so fun, right?"

"It was," Lila said, chuckling as she hugged her back. "Tacos would be even more fun, I bet."

"Come eat, Keely," Peyton said, crooking her finger as she set down her plate. "Lila isn't leaving yet, and you can talk to her more after your dinner."

She nodded and rushed over to the chair, still looking at Lila. "You're really pretty."

"Thank you, Keely." Lila's eyes were glossy as she shot me a look. "So are you."

"I can see why Mike likes you so much."

"Keely, that's enough," Peyton said before I could figure out how to react. "Eat."

Leave it to my sister to say what everyone else was probably thinking.

Lila was more than pretty. She was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen, and I did like her. A lot. So much that I'd run out of energy to deny it anymore.

But I still didn't know what to do about it.

Dad finished the burgers and hot dogs, and we ate without anyone mentioning what my sister had blurted out. I watched Lila chat with everyone, an easy smile on her lips for most of the night.

Compared to how tense she'd been when she'd first arrived here, it was nice to see her settle in, or at least not seem to be on edge all the time.

I was proud of how far she'd come—and terrified of what would happen if I pushed for more than just good friends and it didn't work out.

My mother's phone call had been a recent reminder of how things could implode with lasting damage if you fell for the wrong person.

I didn't want to push Lila when she was finally feeling comfortable enough here to enjoy simple things like a couple of drinks at a bar or a new coffee shop without the fear I'd always spot in her eyes.

The thought of her enjoying anything with another guy if I didn't make a move had my hand clenching in a fist at my side before I even realized it.

So, either I'd make her mine, or I'd lose her. This middle ground we'd been skating on wasn't sustainable, as each day in her presence, I was that much closer to losing my mind.

"I remember how it felt to be the new girl in a town so different from where I used to live," Peyton said, shooting a smile at my father. "But I was surprised how quickly it became home."

"It's different, for sure. But nice. Once I got used to the quiet, it's peaceful up here." She flicked her eyes to mine. "It's taking a while, but I'm finally acclimating to small-town life. And yes, it's nothing like Philly." She laughed, easy and carefree. It was my new favorite sound.

"I think it's very brave to move to a new town on your own. And my husband is much less stressed out since you came, so I am very happy you made it here." Peyton raised her glass of lemonade.

After we finished dinner and cleaned up, Keely pulled Lila into the house to show off her room and her mother's "huge bookcase of love books." I helped Dad clean up the grill and sat back down, feeling my father's eyes on me but not raising my head.

"If I'm your hesitation, I'm fine with it."

"Fine with what?" I asked, even though I already knew what he meant, while keeping my eye on the screen door.

"Whether Lila works for me or not, I'm fine if you…like her."

I lifted a shoulder and took a long pull from my beer bottle. We both knew all the other reasons for my own hesitation, even if I never said them out loud.

"There is nothing more I want in this life than to see my children with someone who makes them happy. And judging by the way you've been looking at Lila all afternoon, it's pretty clear to me that she does. Or she could if you'd stop fighting it."

He cocked a brow when I finally met his eyes.

"And she, even though I could tell she was kidding, is the first person you've let call you Mikey under the age of seventy in years. So I think there's something special between the two of you," Dad joked, but I didn't laugh with him.

"Listen to me." He put his hand on my shoulder. "It would be nice to see you both happy together. Love can be great." His gaze floated toward the back of the house, a smile tilting his lips. "In fact, there's nothing better. Please don't let the shitty example your mom and I first showed you keep you from it. I was worried it always would, and I'm grateful to Lila for, hopefully, turning that around."

"I'm a bad liar, huh?" I said, laughing when my father shook his head at me.

"Let's just say I hope you have a better poker face with one of your perps."

He stood, a wide smile spreading over his mouth. "I'll ask Peyton to bring out dessert, in case either of you decides to make other plans tonight." Dad popped his brows, and all I could do was laugh.

Maybe it was that simple after all.

"Thanks for the ride home," Lila said after we told my parents and sister goodbye. "Sorry to make you go out of your way," she teased as she climbed in and fastened her seat belt.

Usually, I was the one Keely would latch on to for a long goodbye. Today, Lila was her new fixation, and I almost felt sorry for being so smug to my father all these years about being Keely's favorite. I never thought I'd have to give up that title, at least until her teenage years, but I understood why she liked Lila so much in such a short amount of time.

Now, it was just a matter of telling Lila how much I liked her, even though everyone else already knew.

Maybe she knew it too and was afraid to say anything for the same reasons my sweaty palms had slipped against the steering wheel on the short ride from Dad and Peyton's house to our street.

"It's a hardship, but you're welcome. And thanks for your patience tonight with my sister. She's a pink-sequined ball of love, but she can be a little overwhelming."

"No way. I love your sister. And your stepmother, for giving me all these books." She held up a white plastic bag. "I already read the ones in the shopping bag in my closet, and while I have an e-reader, I like actually turning the pages."

"My father had to build her two bookcases to fit them all."

"She showed me, and they're beautiful. You Russo men have talent."

I parked in front of her side entrance as she sifted through the bag. "She had all my favorites too. Melanie Moreland, Jessica Peterson, Kathryn Nolan, and the new LJ Evans. I've finally almost stopped freaking out over my own shadow enough to enjoy a little romantic suspense."

She bunched her shoulders, the smile on her face so easy and beautiful I wanted to grab the back of her head and kiss her again right there, telling her exactly what I couldn't seem to find the words for. And this time, I wouldn't stop.

"I could build you a bookcase if you wanted me to. Dad's are better and he's a little faster, but if you pick out the wood you want, I'd be happy to make one for you."

"About that." She shifted toward me. "I actually ordered a bookcase, small coffee table, and cabinet." She flashed me a wry grin. "I was hoping my usual handyman wouldn't mind coming by. I mean, you don't have to put them all together at once. That would take a whole day."

"I wouldn't mind," I said, stretching my arm across the back of her seat. "I could tolerate you for a whole day, I think."

"Wow, I'm blushing from the compliment." She moved her hand back and forth, fanning herself. "They just came this morning if you want to take a look."

"You want me to put them together now?"

A blush stained her cheeks as she rubbed at her neck.

"No. I mean, I'll just show you what I bought." She let out a long exhale, wincing at me before draping her hand over her eyes. "Believe it or not, there was a time when my game wasn't such shit. Would you like to come inside?"

I sank my teeth into my bottom lip to both hold in a laugh and keep my jaw from dropping.

"Don't sell yourself short. Your game isn't bad at all." I inched forward and traced my finger along her jaw, fighting with everything in me not to grab the back of her head and taste those lips again. "I'd love to come inside. Just to see what you've bought, of course."

She sucked in her bottom lip and whispered an "okay" before opening her door, eyes still on mine.

I jumped out and raced to the passenger's side door, tempted to fist-pump like my sister had done earlier tonight, and held out a hand for her to step out.

"Sorry, just really anxious to see the new furniture."

"I see," she said, beaming up at me as she took my hand. "I'm actually a little nerv?—"

Her face fell as she dropped my hand, her widened gaze drifting over my shoulder.

My body stiffened with panic as I grabbed her hand back. "What's wrong?"

The color drained from her face, exactly like that day she'd discovered the flat tire. She nodded behind me, her jaw quivering as her eyes, dancing with excitement only seconds before, filled with tears.

I turned and found Lila's car in its usual spot along the curb. The driver's side window was cracked in spider web shards as if someone had tried to punch it in. My stomach dropped when my eyes fell on the deep, large scratches along the door spelling out "WHORE."