12. Chapter Twelve

12

Chapter Twelve

Rowan

I look to Clara for guidance on what to do. I'm in uncharted territory and I have no idea how to proceed. She gives me a slight nod, "You can take him if you want to. Since he's normally afraid of men I don't know how he's going to react if he really wakes up, so if he startles awake and panics don't freak out. He's half asleep, he may not even realize you're the one who has him." For some reason that last part feels like my heart is in a vice. I want him to trust me, I want him to look to me for safety. Because I will keep him and his mom safe if it's the last thing I do.

"I'll take him. Dec's grabbing your bags now, and I'm sure it's not easy carrying him up stairs in heels."

I reach out and scoop him up. His little body fits against my chest. His arms dangle by his side, still fisting that stuffed bear. His head wiggles its way into the crook of my neck while I'm rubbing circles on his back slowly like I used to do for my brothers when we were little. Feeling his breath even out, I use my free hand to grab Clara's threading our fingers, I lead us up the front steps and into the front door. Looking behind me to make sure my brothers, Nolan, and Killian are coming up behind us.

My two main security men and Dec took a car and followed behind us. I walk in and immediately flip off the foyer light as we walk in, look to Nolan and half whisper, "Call out and tell them to dim every light from here to my bedroom as low as they can without turning it off. If I do it the vibrations could wake him up."

Nolan nods and calls out, "Boss said every light from here to his bedroom needs to be as dim as possible. He's coming through with the kid." Instantly the lights start to dim.

Clara looks at me but doesn't say a word. She's scared, it's written all over her face. I just need to get her to my room, lay Rhett down and I can explain how this may be all my fault, but they'll be safe here. The Bratva can't get to them here. Nikolai will suffer before I end him. He scared my girl, it's game on motherfucker. As we move through the kitchen all my brothers move to stand at the island. I nod to them silently so they know we're okay, and I'll be back down. I have to meet with them later tonight so we can figure out what the fuck were going to do. The oldest rule in the book is ‘Women and kids are off limits.' I'd never break that rule, normally. Nikolai has thrown the rule book out the window at this point and I will stop at nothing to protect Clara and Rhett.

Leading Clara up the stairs to my room with Rhett still tucked in tight and breathing deep and even into my neck, I try to imagine what my house looks like when you see it for the first time. The entryway is large and open, actually the entire downstairs is open. Da reconfigured the area years ago so he could see Ma when she was cooking. The only area with a door is the office and the bathrooms. Our old but refurbished stairs are large and curve up to the second story. We have a grand piano just to the left of the base of the stairs. I don't play, but on some nights, when he thinks everyone is asleep, I can hear Flynn playing as if he belongs at Carnegie hall.

We round the top of the stairs and I lead us to the left down the long hallway. Mine and Declan's rooms are down this hall. Me on the left, and him on the right. Both rooms are massive and mirror each other. I open one of the double doors on the left and lead us into my room. Shutting the door and locking it I turn around to see Clara's eyes bounce around my space. A space I barely let my brothers in, let alone anyone else, but I like them here. It doesn't feel weird or out of place. It feels like they were meant to be here from the start. I try to take this room in from her point of view too. To the right is a large sitting area. A fireplace centered on the back wall, a fluffy area rug in front of it and two lounge chairs at the corners of the rug half facing the fireplace, and half facing each other. My bookshelf sits on the wall to the left of the fireplace, filled with thriller and fantasy books. What? I like to read in my down time, sue me.

To the left along that back wall is my bed. A California king size mattress sitting on a floating bed frame giving the illusion that my bed is suspended in mid air. Along the wall to the right is another set of double doors that will bring you to my too big walk in closet. I like clothes, and I really like shoes. Still all my things don't even take up half of the space. My en suite is to the left of my bed. If you explore in there you'll find white walls, black tile, and a large white claw foot tub as well as a walk-in shower with a glass door and white tiles, big enough for four people if that's what you're into. There's five shower heads, two on the front wall and two on the back, and a large rainfall shower head in the middle of the shower. Jack and Jill sinks and my things littered across the counter.

Clara's murmured, "Whoa." brings me back to the here and now. I'm rubbing Rhett's back again just watching her take it all in. She turns back to me eyes wide, "Rowan, this room is bigger than my apartment. Who ARE you? This isn't just ‘businessman who own a few companies' rich. This is next level."

"I'll tell you everything, Clara. I'll answer whatever questions you have. Can we get Rhett settled first so I can talk above a whisper?"

The ends of her lips tick up slightly and she nods, "Yeah, of course. Here, I'll take him and lay him down. Should I put him in your bed?"

She looks unsure. I lean down and kiss her forehead, "Yeah, Pretty Girl, you guys have my bed tonight. I have bad guys to keep away."

She looks up at me with unshed tears in her eyes, "Rowan, you don't have to do that, he's fine, seriously."

I shake my head, "I don't break my promises, especially to you two. Ever." She smiles and tries to take Rhett from me, but he fists my shirt and won't let go.

I look at her questioning what I should do, but she just shrugs. I walk over to my bed and lean down with him as I settle him on his back, his arms flop back onto the mattress and he sprawls out like a starfish. I cover him up and tuck Safe into the crook of his arm. Then take every pillow I can find and line them up on either side of him so he doesn't roll off the bed.

Clara stifles a laugh, "Rowan, he's four YEARS old, not four MONTHS old."

I give her a mock glare, "You can never be too cautious. He's already in an unfamiliar space."

She looks at me like she's seeing me in a whole new light, "We've never had anyone who protects us and cares for us like you do. I'm just not used to it." I go to her and wrap her up in my arms kissing her temple then inhaling her intoxicating scent and letting it out.

"Get used to it, baby. I'm not going anywhere. We have to talk about what happened tonight though. I'll fix it I swear, and I'm so sorry you got pulled into this. Just give me a chance to explain everything." Questions swirl in her eyes and I hope she hears me out. She'll never be in danger here, but I know she's not going to like this.

* * *

Clara

He pulled me into this? What is he talking about? He definitely has a lot of explaining to do. He's obviously wealthier than I thought. I'm assuming his brothers are waiting downstairs to talk to him. What's with the guns? The secrecy? The guards? Tonight has Preston written all over it. Though, I am curious what Rowan thinks he has to do with it. I look at Rowan and wait for him to explain. He takes my hand and holds on like he's scared I'm going to rip it out of his hand at any second.

"So, first I need to start with I didn't lie to you. I left out some details but I never lied." I open my mouth to ask him what he's talking about but he keeps going, "I did take over my fathers businesses when he died two years ago. I just didn't tell you about all of them. My Da, well, he ran an important organization where he stored and distributed product to other big organizations."

I'm so confused, "What aren't you telling me Rowan? You're talking in circles, and you're freaking me out." Rowan scrubs his free hand down his face and lets go of my hand to start pacing the floors.

"Baby, I'm sorry. If I knew he would come after you I swear, I'd have been more careful so no one found out about you guys."

I'm done, he's pissing me off now, "ROWAN! Spit it out!"

He turns to me with fire in his eyes. I see anger, fear, anxiety, and another feeling I don't dare think too hard about right now. "My Da was the Captain of the BOCG, and now, I am." My hand flies to my mouth and fear snakes down my spine. The BOCG or the Byrne Organized Crime Group is the Irish Mob. I got tangled up with the fucking MOB? Other mob bosses are after Rhett and I? I have to go, no I have to hide out here, no I should definitely leave. Maybe they won't find me in Canada, Rhett and I do have our passports.

I'm spiraling when Rowan continues, "The Pakhan of the Bratva thinks we're after him. We aren't but he's convinced. I'm assuming he has a tag on me and followed me to your house the other night, then waited and when we were gone today he broke into your apartment." This can't be real life. I process what he said and start laughing uncontrollably. I think I'm having a breakdown.

"You think that was a mob thing? My apartment tonight? Oh Rowan, no. No, that was my past coming back to bite me in the ass. Sneaking in to remind me I can never escape him."

"What do you mean? If not the Pakhan then who? Who's after you?"

I shake my head, "It doesn't matter. I have to go. Rhett and I will stay here tonight, but tomorrow we have to go before he realizes where we went."

Rowan's eyes widen, "What are you talking about? Who's after you? You're safe here. I'd never let anything happen to either of you. Please trust me, baby. Just tell me what you think is happening."

Focusing on my breathing I look up at him as indecision swirls in my brain. I feel like I can trust him. I WANT to trust him. He says he can protect us. But can anyone really protect us from Preston? I take a deep breath and decide I have to try to let someone help us if we stand any chance of living a life without running. It's my turn to take his hand and steel my spine. I decide to tell him what no one other than Preston, Britt and I know.

"I met Preston the first day of my junior year of college. He was charming, handsome, and most importantly extremely attentive. My parents were neglectful to put it mildly, and are alcoholics. I'm sure you can imagine what kind of damage that does to a young girl's psyche. Preston and I started dating shortly after. He was getting ready to take the entry exam for law school, and I was working on getting my degree in Kinesiology. I wanted to be an occupational therapist for kids.

When I graduated Preston was in the thick of law school and convinced me I didn't need to go to work. He said it was useless when I would just end up staying home when we had children. I didn't like that and we fought about it. I'm not even sure anymore what I said that pushed him over the edge but he smacked me in the heat of the moment." Rowan's eyes flash with rage but I can't stop until I get it all out or I may never. "I left for a few hours and when I returned he was crying and begging me not to leave. He said it was a mistake and it'd never happen again.

I was twenty-two and wanted to be loved so badly. I'd never seen a normal functioning relationship before. I decided to stay. For the longest time it didn't happen again. He proposed a year later and I popped up pregnant three months after that. He was excited about the baby, and even more excited when we found out he was a boy. I met my best friend Brittany during that time and we instantly clicked. Preston started getting jealous of me hanging out with and texting her. He said I wasn't giving him enough attention, or the house wasn't clean enough, or even that he just didn't like me talking to her because she was single and I was practically married and a mom.

We ended up arguing about it. I never saw it coming, one moment I was telling him he was stressing me out and it wasn't good for the baby, and the next I was on the ground with a gash on the side of my head. He'd thrown a glass that hit me and shattered. This time he stormed out of the house and was gone for hours. I'm not sure how long I stayed curled up against the wall and sobbed as Rhett kicked me letting me know he was okay. Eventually Preston came strolling in the house gave me one long look of disgust before he walked by and threw over his shoulder, ‘Get the fuck up, Clara. You look like a dramatic bitch.' "

I start fidgeting with his hand, to try to keep myself in the present. I'm not there anymore. "After that Preston didn't even attempt to be nice. He knew I had nowhere to go, and if I tried he'd come after me. He would walk around the house moving his knife through his fingers. He didn't use it, he just wanted to remind me he carried it and could if he wanted to. He'd walk by just to push me into the wall, but he was careful. He wanted Rhett so he always avoided my belly. The abuse stopped about a week and a half before I was set to be induced with Rhett. I knew it was so the bruises were gone by then. I thought when Rhett was born it would change. Gosh I was so stupid."

Tears well in my eyes and the anger and pain in Rowan's, I'm sure mimics what's in my own, his thumb rubs soothing circles against mine "Rhett failed his newborn hearing screening in the hospital. They said it happens sometimes and they set an appointment for us to see a specialist when we were discharged. Preston was pissed. He waited for everyone to leave the room before he started in on me. ‘You fucked up our kid, you stupid bitch, you better hope its a mistake or you're going to pay. If this kid is fucked up he's just as big of a waste of time and space as you are.'

I was so scared. For Rhett, for being a new mom, and of what Preston would do to us. We found out when Rhett was four months old that he had damage to the cochlear of both his ears. We could have cochlear implants, but that's surgery and money Preston wasn't willing to do. So I spent hours and hours learning ASL so I could teach Rhett. To this day Preston doesn't know a single sign or letter in ASL. He would mock Rhett and call him nasty names. I'd beg him to stop but his response was the same, ‘Shut up you fat bitch, he can't hear me anyways.'

When Rhett was two after an incredibly violent night I showed up to Britt's. My eyes black and bruises littering my arms and chest. I told her everything, and after she stopped raging out about wanting to kill him, we came up with a plan. I'd do my best to stay out of Preston's way and make small withdrawals of money. I'd store it in the back of Rhett's closet along with our important documents. And I'd make a ‘go bag' for each of us. Preston couldn't be bothered to step foot in Rhett's room so I knew he wouldn't find it. We'd hide out there more often than not to escape his wrath. My only saving grace was that lawyers work long hours, so I could pretend we were asleep most nights when he got home.

Six months ago I had a good chunk of change set aside and everything in place. I was going to leave that Saturday night after Preston left to go meet his coworkers at a bar. He'd be far enough away that even if the cameras didn't turn off like I planned we'd be long gone before he could get home." Out of everything this night haunts me the most. It was my breaking point. Rowan pulls me into his strong arms and I instantly remember that I'm safe. I'm in his room. Rhett is happy and safe asleep in his much too large bed.

I take one last deep breath as tears stream down my face and I finish "Three nights before we were set to leave Preston came home early. He was pissed that he'd just lost a big case. Rhett and I were playing with his toys in the living room and Preston stormed in kicking all his toys out the way. Rhett jumped into my arms and hid in my neck. That just pissed Preston off more. He grabbed Rhett by the arm and threw him across the room. Rhett's head bounced off the corner of the wall as I screamed as loud as I could and dove between them. He started kicking me over and over as he screamed ‘You've ruined my life, you and that defected kid. FUCK YOU!' It felt like it took him forever but he finally stopped, spit on me and walked out the room muttering ‘ I'm going to kill you both one day. Just wait.'

He grabbed a fifth of Jim Beam and walked into the game room. I pulled Rhett in my lap and tried to calm him as much as possible. I knew we had to get out that night or we wouldn't get out at all. Rhett and I hid out in his room until he passed out. I got Rhett to sleep so I could get our things together and text Britt our emergency word that meant we had to go now. Once I was sure he was out for the night I packed us up and left.

I sold my car half way here and bought my Corolla and well, I guess you know the rest. I got my job with Mr. O'Brien pretty early on. We stayed in a battered women's shelter until I had enough saved up for our apartment. And then a couple of weeks ago, I met you." I fist my hands in his shirt and finally let myself purge all the trauma and toxins. The whole time Rowan holds me close and whispers into my hair how he'll fix it all.