8. Addison

I wokeup to a doctor standing over me, looking through my file. I was in the hospital. I was cold. I was tired. I was fucking pissed off.

“What happened?” I asked.

The doctor looked up from the file, eying me.

“Hello, Mr. Kelly. Unfortunately, you have dislocated your knee. No signs of a concussion though. You don”t remember the incident?”

“I meant in the game” I explained, frustrated that I had missed it. “Did we win? Lose?”

“Ah.” He smiled. “There”s a full football team in the waiting room waiting to tell you. Shall I call them in?”

“Yes, please,” I said, sagging in relief.

He nodded.

“Oh, wait! About my knee?”

He paused and chuckled.

“Glad you sorted out your priorities,” he told me. “Your right knee was dislocated. We reset it and bandaged it all up, but you need to stay off of it.”

“How long until it heals?” I asked.

“You should be able to walk in about three, maybe four weeks. Back to regular activity in six to eight weeks... as for playing football, you”ll have to ease back into it. Play it by ear.”

I felt my entire spirit sink somewhere under the floor.

Up to two months before I could play? It would be November at the earliest before I was on the field again. That was if Coach felt like putting me out there at all after how I’d played today.

What a colossal fuck up.

“Thanks,” I managed.

He nodded and left to retrieve my friends.

Only four were allowed in at a time. Coach Oliveira was one of them.

“How bad is it?” he asked as soon as he was in the room, a couple of the guys trailing in after him with gifts.

“Bad,” I said. “Dislocated knee. I can”t play for almost two months.”

He let out a sigh of relief.

“Addy, that isn”t bad,” Cooper said, coming over and handing me a box of chocolates.

“Really? It feels like a pretty damn shitty way to start the season.”

“It”s not a career-ending injury,” Coach argued. “For a minute there, it looked like it was one.”

I shut my eyes and nodded, letting that soak in. The fact that he seemed to want me to heal and keep playing calmed me a bit.

“What about the game?” I asked.

“Lost,” Ash informed me, taking one of the free visitor seats. Normally light-hearted, I had only ever seen our left tackle like this when the loss was bad.

I pursed my lips, the real question I wanted to ask on the tip of my tongue. Finally, I gave in and let it out.

“And Callum? How did he do?”

“Good actually,” Coach said. “He was confident considering it was his first game.”

“Until he wasn”t,” Ash said, grimacing.

“What does that mean?” I asked.

“When things didn”t start looking up, he started to lose his composure,” Oliveira said. “Made a few mistakes. Then got even more flustered.”

An ache landed somewhere in my chest.

I should have been there. I should have been on the side of his first game to support him. I should have been there afterwards to tell him that he had done a good job, that sometimes it just wasn”t your night.

“It just wasn”t our game,” Oliveira said, echoing my thoughts.

The others nodded, but I knew there was more to it than that. I”d fucked up. I”d let Ari”s phantom threat impede my better judgment and take over all my thoughts. He”d gotten so deep inside my head that I hadn”t even been able to see straight.

“I”m going to let you rest,” Oliveira said. “But once you”re out of the hospital, let”s talk about whatever happened out there.”

I swallowed and nodded.

“Where”s Callum?” I asked once he”d left.

“He had to give an interview,” Ash said. “A couple people stayed behind with him, but everyone wants to come visit tonight.”

I nodded and didn”t say any more about him.

Four by four, all of my teammates came to see me. Each time the door opened, I expected Callum, but it was never him. I said sorry over and over, feeling like more of a failure with each passing hour until I was alone in the hospital room hours later.

It didn”t matter how much the guys reassured me. I felt like shit.

And somewhere in Jacksonville, I knew Callum was feeling just as shitty. We”d lost our team”s first game of the season. Well, he hadn”t. He”d stepped up when I”d let everyone down. I bet he didn”t feel that way though.

Just as I was closing my eyes, ready to accept that I was going to be here for the night, the door opened again.

I looked up as Callum slid into the room like a shadow, almost like he was trying not to be noticed.

He came to stand at the end of my bed, his eyes falling on my wrapped, elevated leg.

“Hey,” I said when he didn”t speak.

“Hey.”He smiled softly.“I hear it isn’t serious?”

I nodded.

“Yeah, I just need to be off it for a few weeks.”

He bit his lip, looking uncertain.

“Guess I better get it together quickly for next week”s game, then.”

“What happened?” I asked.

“I fucked up a few times. Cost us the game.”

I was already shaking my head before he even finished speaking.

“I set you up,” I argued. “Gave you the field while we were behind. That wasn”t exactly fair.”

“You got hurt,” he argued. “And you had other stuff going on. That”s different.”

I laughed.

“No, it isn”t. I let that asshole get into my head. He probably wasn”t even there, or I would have heard from him by now. He would probably be at my goddamn bedside while I can’t run away.”

Callum grimaced.

“What the hell is going on with that Addy? Why didn”t you tell one of the coaches or security?”

I didn”t know what to say so I groaned and fell back in my pillows, staring up at the ceiling.

“It”s been going on so long and it doesn”t seem like anyone can ever do anything about it,” I finally admitted.

Speaking about it out loud, it was like a weight was sitting on my chest. Like there was no way to shake this heavy feeling.

Callum came closer, sitting down next to me on the nearest chair, dragging it even closer.

“Who is he?” he asked.

I froze.

It was such a straightforward, blatant question with a very simple answer; he was my ex. I could say that. Maybe I should so that Callum would know. Maybe he deserved that since I did happen to have a mega crush on the guy and had spent the night sleeping next to him.

But maybe he would think this morning was less of an accident than it was and make a big deal about it…

My cheeks heated because instinctively, I didn”t think he would... but we didn”t know each other that well yet and I had never come out to anyone I played with. Only my family had ever known and suddenly I felt like I was sixteen again, wondering if I dared to come out to them.

“It”s okay,” Callum said, suddenly reaching out and resting a hand on my forearm. “You don”t have to talk about it.”

God. I must look just as distressed as I felt.

“But if you”re not safe, you shouldtalk to someone about it, even if it”s not me.”

I shook my head.

“I”ve had a restraining order for like eight years now. He backs off sometimes and as soon as I think it”s over, he comes back to bother me.”

“Jesus,” he muttered. “How long has this been going on for in total?”

“Almost ten years,” I admitted and then, like it was being pulled out of me, the rest came out too. “Ever since we dated in high school.”

Understanding crossed Callum”s face.

“Oh,” he said.

I ran a hand through my hair, suddenly unable to look at him.

“What happened?” he asked.

I had already said too much but I couldn”t hold it in now.

“What happened is, I was sixteen and he was my first boyfriend. It was fine. Good actually, but then he started to get more and more clingy. Didn”t want me to do anything without him around. Started freaking out if I did. Then started saying weird things that freaked me out and I ended up dumping him.”

I took a shuddering breath, finally daring to look at Callum.

He was frowning, listening attentively, but I couldn”t tell what he thought about me being gay. My hands were shaking so I clasped them together.

“I”m guessing he didn”t take it well,” he prompted.

I swallowed and nodded, reminding myself that Callum hadn”t freaked out yet. That must be a good sign.

“He started showing up at my house in the middle of the night. Skipping classes so he could watch me through windows... It went on until he got expelled for it, but that didn”t stop anything. It kept escalating.”

I didn”t want to mention the rest. There were too many ugly memories… Dead things left on my windowsill, finding him in my bedroom when I got home. So much screaming and sobbing…

I shuddered.

“The restraining order stopped it for a while. When I left for college in Dallas, I thought it was finally done. Then he started coming to the games there.”

“How have I not heard anything about this?” he asked, looking troubled.

“To everyone else, he was just a crazy fan whenever he showed up. I never elaborated... He never did anything very public either.”

Callum shrugged.

“That doesn”t matter. If he ever tries to come to another game, they should be stopping him at the doors. I”m sure it wouldn”t be a big deal for them to check IDs on the way in.”

I looked at him.

“Now, why didn”t I ever think of that?” I wondered aloud.

Callum chuckled.

“Maybe you were too busy being scared.”

My gaze dropped.

“Did I look scared?” I asked.

He nodded.

“Yeah, and when you told me, it scared me too.”

“I”m sorry.”

He shook his head not saying anything for a minute.

“Thank you for telling me,” he said gently. “I think we should get security involved from now on... I won”t mention the details to anyone.”

Touched, I nodded.

“Thank you,” I said.

Callum had such nice, kind eyes. When he gave me that sympathetic look, it nearly made me want to cry.

Why did it feel so good to tell someone that I was gay? Maybe because Callum wasn”t just someone. He was my teammate, and he hadn”t turned me away or been rude about it. He wasn”t even acting any differently, not even after what happened this morning. That meant something.

He smiled at me for a moment before blinking.

“Oh. I almost forgot.”

He reached down and grabbed my bag off the floor.

“Your stuff was left behind. I took your gear back to our room but thought you might want your clothes.”

I chuckled and took it but stilled, realizing that my phone was inside it.

Well, better to look at it now while Callum was with me for support.

I opened up my bag, taking it out.

He watched as I swiped it open with bated breath.

No new messages.

“Can I see?” Callum asked.

I nodded and handed it to him, chewing my thumb anxiously while he read the messages from the last few weeks.

He muttered under his breath as he read them before looking at me with wide eyes.

“Yup. Batshit crazy,” he confirmed.

Despite the situation, I laughed.

“Yeah,” I agreed.

And a smile pulled at his lips.

“You sure know how to pick them,” he informed me.

I cringed.

“Yeah, yeah. I know.”

The door opened then and one of the nurses poked her head in.

“Visiting hours are over,” she said, waiting for Callum to nod and stand before closing the door again.

“I’ll see you back in Austin,” I said.

“Nope,” Callum said. “You’ll see me tomorrow.”

I frowned.

“But everyone’s leaving tonight.”

He shrugged awkwardly.

“I know. I asked to stay behind to help you get sorted.”

There were countless assistants whose jobs were literally to take care of our needs. Callum didn’t need to volunteer for this and I was surprised but touched that he had.

“I’ve never been to Florida,” he explained. “I wanted to take a look around anyway.”

It seemed like a thin excuse but if everyone had allowed it, I wasn’t going to argue.

“So what does that mean?” he asked.

“An extra two nights in Jacksonville,” Callum said. “Hope you don’t mind being stuck with me.”

He looked so self-conscious. Maybe he thought he was overstepping. I wanted to reassure him. Callum would be my first pick for person to be stuck with, after all. Especially if we got to share a bed for another night.

I couldn’t exactly say that though.

“I”ll come get you at check out,” he added.

“You don”t have to?—”

“I know I don”t have to,” he said. “But I”m going to.”

Conversation over, he offered my phone back but hesitated at the last second. When I reached for it, he held it just out of my reach.

“One sec,” he said.

I watched curiously as he poked the screen intently. Finally, he handed it back, smiling grimly.

Looking at the screen, I saw that Ari”s number had been blocked.

“You don”t need that shit, right now,” he said in explanation.

He was right of course. I just liked to know if something was coming but... Ari couldn”t exactly jump me in the hospital, could he? I could already feel myself relaxing. Suddenly, I was exhausted.

Callum”s hand suddenly squeezed my shoulder.

“Sleep well,” he said.

I watched him leave, lost for a moment in the swing of his walk, confident but subtle.

Shaking my head, I tried not to let my heart skip the way it wanted to. He was so damn sweet.

I”d finally found a guy who I had so much in common with. He played football, he had the type of body that made my blood rush, and he took care of me, even when I didn”t ask him to. Callum seemed to be able to read me like I was an open book, but he was too kind to use that against me.

Too bad he was straight.

Life wasn”t fair sometimes.

I shut my eyes, thinking about him arriving to pick me up tomorrow.

For some reason, I couldn”t stop smiling.