4. Addison

I wasn”t typically DD.I liked having a few with the guys, but despite my better judgement, I”d wanted to be the one picking Cal up and driving him around tonight rather than a cab.

And I wasn”t complaining one bit as I sat back, watching him double-fist two pints while he squabbled with Coop over whether toilet paper should go over or under.

I had no clue how the conversation had started, but the fact that he was actually getting heated over the topic had me smiling ear to ear, especially since Cooper was just messing with him.

“No!” Cal was saying. “Having the toilet paper roll from the bottom is pure evil!”

“I just like to fold up the squares and leave a pile on top of the holder anyway,” Coop finally said, and Cal practically went white from the shock.

“You”re insane,” he informed Coop seriously, then tipped the last of one of his pints back, set the glass down and stood, wobbling.

Beer sloshed out of his other pint, soaking his pant leg but he didn”t seem to notice.

I stood hastily and took the drink out of his hand, setting it on the table next to us while I steadied him with my other hand.

“Bathroom,” he said.

For a split second, I thought he was inviting me.

“Uh. Okay.”

He nodded and went, weaving unsteadily through the room.

I shook my head.

Bad brain, I thought.

Cal had never shown any interest. Even when I”d been standing next to him naked on more than one occasion, his gaze had never so much as flickered anywhere but my face.

I was used to quiet attraction. The kind you had to keep to yourself. After all, I was a closeted NFL player. I knew how people looked but didn”t. How they covered it as something else and pretended it had been an innocent glance.

I”d noticed it from some of the other guys on the team too, that hidden thing we had in common, that we kept to ourselves so no one would feel uncomfortable, ourselves included. Cooper was the only person I knew who had been brave enough to just be himself and I admired the man for that.

Sighing, I ran a hand through my hair and checked the time.

It was only midnight, but we”d started hours ago. Hopefully, Cal wouldn”t mind leaving soon.

My phone suddenly started to vibrate in my pocket.

Not many people would call me this late unless there was an emergency, so I pulled it out of my pocket, already frowning.

Then, I saw the unknown number and everything stilled around me.

There was something about it that instantly set me on edge.

“Can we go?”

I started, looking up to find Callum back from the washroom, looking a little sick as he swayed in front of me.

Swallowing, I hit ignore and stuffed my phone back in my pocket.

“Yeah, let”s go.”

It didn”t take long to say our goodbyes and we were out in the humid night air within a couple of minutes. Before we could get to the car though, Callum swayed dramatically.

I caught him as he bent double, sure he was about to puke.

Instead, he groaned, taking deep breaths.

“Shit,” I muttered. “This is kind of my fault, isn”t it?”

“Mm Hm. You were being so nice that you fucked me over,” he heartily agreed.

I chuckled.

“Ready to get back up?” I asked.

He nodded, tried, and then bent back down, gripping his knees like that had been a terrible idea.

Wincing, I held onto his narrow waist and directed him toward my car. He managed to get there by clinging to my shirt and leaning against me.

I opened the back, pushed him gently onto the seat and then grabbed my water bottle, handing it to him.

“I guess I should have cut you off when Wyatt suggested,” I said regretfully.

Callum took a small sip of water and shook his head carefully.

“I”m a grown-up, I didn”t have to drink so much.”

“I take it you”re not much of a drinker?”

“Nope,” he agreed. “I don”t like hangovers. Or feeling sick.”

He looked up at me, his wide brown eyes more open than I”d ever seen them.

“I just wanted to let loose though, I guess. I”ve been kind of stressed.”

“Yeah, I noticed.”

“I”m sure everyone did,” he chuckled. “Couldn”t help it. It”s hard to play next to the Addison Kelly.”

I frowned but before I could say anything, resentment washed over his face, and he went on.

“Why do you have to be so goddamn perfect?”

My entire body reacted.

It was like a punch in the gut.

That word and everything that came with it was nothing but negative for me. It made me think of people”s expectations of me, of the fact that I was just human, like anyone else. I”d been fighting against perfect, for almost ten years now.

I had a restraining order to prove it.

For some reason, when someone said that you were perfect, it always seemed to come with resentment and self-hatred.

My phone buzzed again, a message this time, and it was like I knew before looking at it. It was like Ari could sense what we were talking about.

I lifted the phone, knowing without a shadow of a doubt who the message would be from. No unknown number would hide the fact that he had found a way to contact me again.

I wonder what your big football friends would think if they knew about me?

The message sent a chill down my spine. I was frozen to the spot, staring at Ari”s words. His next message had me moving at lightning speed.

Maybe I should tell Callum that you”re taken before he gets any ideas.

I moved fast, took the water bottle out of Callum”s hand and capped it before grabbing his legs without thinking and physically turning him so that he was fully inside the car. I was reaching around him, putting his seatbelt on before he even knew what was happening.

“I can do it,” he said, but I was already done and climbing into my seat, sealing the door shut behind me.

My heart was racing as I turned on the car, gaze shooting up and down the street. It was a busy night though and everyone looked like him. Every dark-haired, bad-idea type of guy. I should have known when we”d first met. I should have stayed away. But I hadn”t been famous back then. I hadn”t been out. I hadn”t thought a fling could go this way as a closeted teenager, or that it could possibly last this long.

I gripped the wheel too hard as I drove, looking into every car window suspiciously as if they were heading the same way as us.

It was ridiculous, but I was scared.

Ari wasn”t right in the head. He needed help. God knew his fucked up family would never get him any or have some sort of intervention. The courts had, but that wasn’t enough to keep him in therapy or on his pills.

I still thought his family was half the reason he was like this. I”d been the first person that had been nice to him. The first person he”d fallen in love with—or in obsession with, more like.

Swallowing, I pushed the memories aside and glanced into my rearview mirror.

Callum was leaning back watching me.

“Are you mad at me?” he asked the moment our eyes met.

I swallowed, realizing how it probably looked to him. As soon as he’d said those words to me, I”d shoved him in the car and started silently driving him home.

“No,” I sighed. “Sorry. Just—something else set me off.”

He didn”t say anything, just kept watching me. Now my gaze kept flickering to him instead of the passing cars.

I didn’t like that he resented me for whatever he perceived to be perfect. I hadn’t done anything but play at his side and try to include him.

“I”m not perfect you know,” I said, but he smiled lightly, like I was being silly.

“Yeah, you are.”

This time, with that soft look on his face, for the first time, it didn”t feel like a dirty word.

“You were blaming me for you not being your best at training camp,” I argued anyway.

He shrugged.

“True. You got in my head.”

I frowned.

“Seems more likeyougot in your head, Cal,” I said.

He sighed and looked out the window without denying it and I couldn”t help going on.

“I may be good now,” I said. “But it wasn”t always like this. Playing professionally isn”t like college. There”s more on the line and every move you make gets broken down in every minuscule detail. The pressure is on. That changes things.”

When I looked back at him, Callum was still gazing resolutely out the window.

I would have kept going because talking was a distraction from the other thing that was weighing on me; the very real possibility that I was being followed right now.

Ishouldgo to the police and tell them that Ari was breaking his restraining order. He wasn”t supposed to contact me or come near me.

But the last two times I”d done that, they”d spoken to him, found no proof and just gave him a warning.

What good was a warning anyway? He already knew he wasn”t supposed to be doing what he was doing for god”s sake.

Sighing, I pulled into a spot outside of Callum”s building. The second I did, he surprised me by throwing open the back door and hurling onto the road.

I grimaced, trying not to watch until he was pulling himself back up, looking like he was about to pass out.

“Alright,” I said. “Maybe slide over to the other door so you don”t step in that.”

He nodded and slid over while I went around the car. I was waiting with the door open by the time he got there.

I reached inside, helping him out before I even remembered to look around, but Callum”s street was quiet and no cars had followed us onto it that I”d seen.

Comforted by that, I led him to the building.

The door was being held open by a rock that was supposedly acting like a doorstopper. Inside the lobby, the lights were flickering.

It wasn”t my business to be negotiating for other players, but hell, even when I was just starting, I could afford better than this place.

My inkling suspicion from earlier was proven right when we got up to Callum”s apartment.

It was small and dingy and there was a serious draft from one of the windows which, upon closer inspection, didn”t sit in the frame properly and had a permanent gap.

“Are you going to be okay?” I asked as Callum went to the couch and sank into the cushions.

He nodded.

“Getting it out helped,” he admitted.

“That”s good.”

There was a moment of silence during which I probably should have left. Instead, I went to the kitchen and poured him a glass of water before returning.

He took it gratefully and swallowed a couple sips before setting it on the coffee table and sagging against the arm of the couch again.

“Thanks for everything,” he murmured.

I wanted to say more. Maybe even help him take his shoes off and get him into bed, but after the stuff he”d been saying on the way over, I didn”t know if he would welcome that.

I”d thought he was standoffish with me because of the coaches. Meanwhile, the guy resented me to high heaven.

It made me feel weird and defensive and made me want to reassure him at the same time.

I knew what it was like at first, trying to prove yourself while comparing yourself to others... It wasn”t fun until you learned to let all that go and just focus on what mattered, the plays, the training, the relationships with those you shared the field with. But that took time.

At the door, I paused and turned back to look at him.

“Maybe we can meet up and go over the plays together before the season kicks off,” I suggested.

He nodded but didn”t say anything.

Truthfully, he was probably half asleep already.

I twisted the lock in the doorknob so that it would lock behind me, shut his apartment door and then made sure that it truly was locked from the outside before going back to my car.

I didn”t notice the stuff poured over the windscreen until I was getting in.

It looked like it was just a drink. Something sticky, like a coke. It could have been from anyone, but my hands were shaking when I turned on the windshield wipers.

I didn”t see anyone around and there were no new messages on my phone, but I couldn”t sleep that night, even with the doors locked and windows drawn.