14. Addison

Wakingup alone in my bed felt wrong after so many mornings waking up tangled with Callum lately.

His family was arriving today though, so he’d gone home early last night. They were staying for the weekend, and he”d wanted to get his place clean, his fridge stalked and make plans for them to do stuff together during their short trip.

I”d waited patiently for an invite to lunch or something like that, but Callum didn”t give me one.

It was fine. We weren”t in a relationship yet. We were absolutely headed that way, but I knew he still needed time. I just hoped I”d get to at least run into them at the game on Sunday so I could say hi.

It’s only for one weekend, I reminded myself, but the days seemed to drag on.

I didn”t like sitting around watching TV but that”s what I ended up doing all day on Friday. I managed to convince Wyatt to go out for a beer on Saturday, but aside from that, my phone remained silent and my days empty.

On Saturday night, I finally caved and sent Callum a message asking how the visit was going. He replied with a photo of all of them together in front of the Texas Capitol building.

I shouldn”t be jealous, but I was a little.

It would have been nice to have my arm around Callum”s shoulders while we posed for touristy pictures.

In fact, I had promised to take him around town at some point early on, hadn’t I?

Maybe if I could convince him that we should make things official, we could go do corny stuff like that together.

Sighing, I pushed aside my self-pity and went to sleep.

I cabbed to my check-up the next day because I knew Callum would be busy getting ready for tonight’s game and I didn”t want to bug him, but I was tapping my foot anxiously as it drew near.

My parents came with my sister this time. Her husband had stayed home with the kids. We had great seats, just like last time.

I saw Callum”s family several seats over but none of them were looking my way when I did.

The group of them looked so friendly. I could see their excitement and nerves. It was hard to imagine his mom, dad, little sister, and uncle all sleeping in his tiny apartment, but I imagined that it was fun to have the full house.

Turning, I focused on the game again. Despite myself, my eyes fixed on Callum for most of it.

He was on point. He had gained confidence since coming here and it was nice to see him handling the pressure of the game so well.

When the Troopers won, no one cheered as loudly as Callum”s parents did.

My mother patted my arm.

“It must be hard for you not being out there playing,” she said sympathetically, but I shook my head.

It wasn”t.

“I”m just happy for Callum,” I said.

By the time we went down to the team area, Callum and his family were already down there, celebrating.

His father was the first to see me and he came forward offering hand.

“Mr. Kelly,” he said. “I”m not happy you got hurt, but I am glad my son got to play today.”

I chuckled and shook his hand.

“I am too.”

Callum noticed us talking and slid a bit closer.

“You killed it out there,” I told him.

He grinned.

“Yeah, I kind of did.”

I wanted to hug him.

All the other players hugged each other. Hell, I got a couple of hugs from our teammates coming down here and I wasn”t even playing today.

I moved toward him, but Callum moved back.

He turned toward the others, pretending he hadn”t noticed.

Stung, I tried to hide the rejection from my face, turning back to his dad and his mother who had now joined us.

“It”s great to meet you both,” I said. “You should be really proud.”

They beamed.

“Oh, we are!” his mother gushed. “His grandfather is probably dancing in heaven tonight. They were very close.”

“Oh, really?”

“He was the one who pushed Callum to keep playing. He was at all of his games but passed just before he was drafted.”

I glanced at Callum. He was talking to a reporter now, his back to me. I wondered if that had anything to do with the darkness that had hung over him when he”d first started training.

“I”m sorry for your loss,” I finally said.

“You”ve been a great friend from what we heard. I still can”t believe you gave him your car.”

I chuckled, but I could now feel my family”s eyes on me curiously.

“I can”t use it,” I said, dismissing the statement.

Somehow his parents ended up in a conversation with mine and by the time the players were heading to thechanging rooms, andwe were extracting ourselves, I was exhausted.

I”d spent that whole time trying to catch Callum”s eyes and he”d never looked in mydirection once.

It was hard to believe I”d spent hours going down on the guy. He was acting like he didn”t even know me.

At the parking lot, my mom and dad went in their car and Sabrina opened the passenger door for me to get in.

It wasn”t until we were halfway to my place that my sister finally spoke in a sing-song voice.

“I know what”s going on,” she mused.

I groaned before she could elaborate.

“Please pretend you don”t.”

“You are so happy that Callum gets to play, even though he”s in your position. You literally can”t stop staring at the guy. You gave him your car...”

“I didn”t give it to him. I loaned it to him. And it’s a trade. He drives me to appointments and practice.”

“Oh, how convenient, he gets to keep your car if he drives you around all the time. Just you and him… alone on the road…”

I rolled my eyes.

“Okay, okay.”

She smiled triumphantly and gave me a look.

“So how long has this been going on?” she asked. “It is going on, right?”

I tried not to answer, but I couldn”t help myself.

“Oh, yeah. It”s going on.”

She squealed and I started laughing.

“Please, calm down.”

“I can”t! I haven”t seen you with anyone since he who shall not be named,” she argued. “Speaking of which, any other messages lately?”

I shook my head.

“No. Callum blocked him for me.”

“Awwww,” she cooed. “So, how long has this been a thing?”

“We”ve been seeing each other for a couple of weeks,” I admitted. “It”s not serious though.”

“That doesn”t mean it can”t get serious. If that”s what you both want?”

She gave me a look, trying to gauge my reaction.

I shrugged.

“Maybe I do, but I don”t know about him. Don”t know if you noticed but he pretended I didn”t even exist today.”

She grimaced.

“Well, maybe just talk to him about it before you come to any conclusions.”

We had talked about our relationship status recently. Sure, it had been in the middle of fooling around, but I”d promised to let Callum set the speed. The problem was that I didn”t like how he”d made me feel tonight.

I wasn”t going to out him just because we were near each other. I didn”t want to feel like I was his dirty secret when we were in public. Not when being with him felt so damn wholesome and peaceful the rest of the time.

Sabrina could tell I wasn”t happy because she gave me a big hug before leaving.

“Just talk to him. I”m sure he likes you. Who wouldn”t?”

“You have to say that because you”re my sister,” I informed her.

“True, but you”re also a kind, loving, good-looking, pro football player,” she reminded me. “I”m not exactly lying.”

I chuckled, taking the ego boost.

“Thank you,” I said.

It did make me feel better talking to Sabrina about it.

Except that I didn”t hear from Callum again until the next afternoon, after the time his family was scheduled to catch the bus back home.

Despite myself, his simple message saying what are you up to? just made me feel cheap.

I needed a few minutes to decide how to answer but couldn”t decide what to say even as a couple hours passed.

It was okay for Callum to be too busy to talk to me. I didn”t have any crazy expectations. I knew we were new.

So, how could I describe that I had been hurt by how he”d ignored me yesterday?

Normally, when I wanted to think and my head was a jumble of thoughts, I went for a run. That wasn”t really an option right now, but stubbornly, I got my crutches under me and went for a walk instead.

I got about ten minutes down the road, cursed myself because my armpits were already aching and turned around, managing to reach my house as the sun dipped below the horizon.

I was already turning into my driveway before I realized that my car was sitting in its spot when it shouldn”t be.

Wincing, I saw Callum standing by my front door, shuffling his feet.

I still didn’t know what to say to him, but I was pleased too.

“It”s good to see you,” I said when I reached him, and his shoulders sagged a little with relief.

“Sorry to drop by,” he said. “I felt bad that I didn”t get to talk to you much at the game.”

I let him inside and the moment the door was shut, he turned and hugged me tightly, keeping me up when one of my crutches fell to the ground.

I held him right back, but a niggling little bit of annoyance was still there, poking me.

“It seemed kind of like you were ignoring me on purpose,” I pointed out.

He froze and then pulled back far enough that we could look at each other.

“I mean... I thought it might be a bit obvious if we started talking, I guess. But I wasn”t ignoring you. I said hi.”

I bit my lip, my sister”s words echoing in my ears.

“Can you see yourself ever being okay with that?” I asked.

He pulled back the rest of the way to look at my face.

“I don”t know,” he admitted.

He bent to pick up my discarded crutch, but I could make do with the one. The second made it easier, but I didn”t care as I passed him, going into the living room as I processed his confession.

When he entered behind me, I turned to face him.

“I don”t know if I”m okay with that,” I admitted.

He stared at me for a long time.

“Is that why you didn”t answer my message?” he asked. “Because I didn”t want to hug you in front of my family?”

“I knew you knew what I was talking about!”

He shrugged.

“Okay, fine. It made me feel like I didn”t know how to act with you there. I wanted to go to you, but my mom would see right through me in two seconds. I was worried about even talking to you.”

My heart was pounding with unease.

“That”s... really depressing,” I finally settled on. “You hug all the guys.”

“But I don”t want to hold onto them for too long,” he argued. “Or kiss them while they”re in my arms.”

I shut my eyes, understanding his issue.

“I don”t want to have to come out for a guy that I”m not even in a relationship with,” he added and the hurt increased.

He bit his lip, and I wanted nothing more than to go over to him and kiss him, but his sigh stopped me.

“I knew something was wrong,” he admitted. “Ever since then.”

“I don”t want to be something that the person I”m with is ashamed of,” I said. “I want my partner to be proud of me and happy to show me off. You can bet I”d be bragging to anyone who would listen if you were my boyfriend.”

His gaze caught mine, but he didn”t so much as smile.

“I”m not ashamed of you,” he said.

I swallowed and nodded but it didn”t seem like we were making up. Callum was so distant compared to how he normally was. I kind of wished I”d never brought it up.

“Can we forget that I said anything?” I found myself asking.

Crutches forgotten, I hopped over to him, ruining the moment completely and making him snort as I finally reached him.

I put my arms around his shoulders, eager to just kiss him and go back to normal.

“I can wait,” I reminded him. “And you just tell me what you want whenever you decide.”

My lips met his and for a moment, I disappeared into his sweet kiss until he pulled back.

“Honestly,” he whispered, cupping my cheeks. “It”s making me sick that I made you feel like that.”

My eyes nearly filled with tears. I blinked back the burning, trying to push the ache in my chest down too.

“It”s fine,” I whispered but he shook his head and gently extracted himself from my arms.

“What are you doing?” I demanded, voice shaking. I wanted to ask if he was breaking up with me but as he”d pointed out, we weren”t together.

“I don”t want to play with your feelings,” he said gently.

“You”re not. You”ve been very clear. I just got insecure.”

“I would be too if you ignored me and sidestepped hugging me,” he admitted. “I was an asshole and I need to think about what I want before we go any further.”

Oh fuck.

He was going to leave and think about whether I was worth coming out for? That was a terrifying thought.

“How about you think about it while we cuddle on the couch and order Chinese food?” I suggested.

Callum shook his head, then came forward and kissed me softly.

“I just need some space.”

I watched him leave, dumbfounded.

He”d shown up here to make sure I wasn”t upset with him and left minutes later to decide if we should make things official or end our budding relationship. How the hell had I managed that?

I didn”t know when I would hear from Callum again outside of football.

He still had my car which made things awkward because, over the next few days, I didn”t want to call him to drive me anywhere.

He didn”t check in either.

It wasn’t until I was falling asleep on Thursday night that I realized I hadn”t properly told him how I felt.I”d left all the work up to him and that was a lot. Maybe it would help if I was as honest about what I wanted.

Right when I was finally falling asleep, my phone started ringing.

My heart rate skyrocketed, and I reached for it immediately. No one called me in the middle of the night unless something was wrong.

My heart skipped when I saw Callum”s name.

Before I could answer, the line disconnected, and I got a message right after.

Can you come over?

I sat up and rang Callum.

“Hey,” he said, andmy worry went up a notch when I heard the sound of his voice.

“What”s wrong?” I demanded. “Are you okay?”

I was already climbing out of bed, pulling a pair of sweats on.

“Uh. Yeah, kind of.”

He said something to someone else that I couldn”t make out. It sounded like he”d put his hand over the speaker.

“Callum?”

“Sorry,” he muttered, “the police are here.”

“What?”

“It”s okay,” he said. “I”m fine.”

“I”m coming over right now,” I told him and heard his sigh of relief.

“If you don”t mind,” he said anxiously. “That would be good. I would like that.”

He disconnected and I hung up, mind reeling, already calling for a ride to get to his place.

I didn”t know what had happened, but halfway there, I was suddenly overcome with happiness that despite our on-hold relationship status, he had still called me for support.