11. Callum

I didn”t knowwhat the hell was happening.

Splashing water on my face wasn”t giving me any answers, either, but I did it again anyway.

My heart was still pounding from that exchange because it had been like I was trying to make sure Addison was single. And like Addison was trying to make it very clear that he was.

Okay. Sure, that was a normal conversation to have with a friend.

But I knew that hadn”t been a normal, friendly exchange, because I”d seen the way Addison was looking at me and I saw the way his breath quickened, and I”d felt the way my blood started rushing.

“What the hell?” I muttered.

It was my own fault. I”d gotten obsessed with this.

Why was I so fixated on the fact that Addison was into guys?

The simple answer was that I was a guy.

I”d never thought that every gay guy wanted to jump every man in existence, that was asinine. And yet, I was thinking about it, about Addison wanting to do dirty things to me pretty much every time there was a pause.

It had started in the hotel last weekend. Waking up cuddling him was the catalyst and it had snowballed from there.

I didn”t feel like I could face him yet, but I”d been hiding in here too long already.

Grabbing some paper towels, I dried off my face and left the washroom. We”d just have to keep off the topic of his sexuality and I”d be fine.

“I already paid,” he said when I got back to our table. “Hope you don”t mind. I”m kind of eager to get home now. It”s been a long day.”

“Sure. I”ll get you next time.”

“Nah,” he said, pushing to his feet. “I said this one was on me, didn”t I?”

I waited while he got his crutches and walked with him, secretly relieved that this night was ending. I kind of wanted to go home and hide.

“I”ll drop you off at home?” I asked as we got into his car.

“What? No, you said you were coming over after, remember?”

I swallowed. I did remember. He”d said it was a date.

He didn”t mean it like that, I reminded myself sternly, but maybe it was those words that had gotten into my head and made me start acting ridiculous.

“We said we”d go over the last game together,” he pressed.

“Right. Yeah, okay,” I said, unable to find an excuse.

The silence was heavy as we drove.

Whenever I glanced in his direction, he caught my eyes straight away, like he knew right when I was about to look.

I had to stop. The sun was already gone, and shadows stretched across the street. Addison was mostly in darkness. There was nothing to see there, yet I found myself glancing at him again, catching those sharp blue eyes and the swift smile he gave me in the dim light.

“Are you single?” he suddenly asked.

I nearly swerved from the shock.

“What?” I asked. I could hear the panic in my voice.

“I just haven”t heard you mention anyone…”

I shook my head. I was glad it was dark enough that he wouldn”t see how red my cheeks were.

“I”m single,” I finally managed to say.

Then because he”d trusted me with so much personal information, I found myself adding to the story even though he hadn”t asked.

“I haven”t dated for about a year,” I admitted. “Not seriously. I was too preoccupied with training.”

“That”s relatable,” he sighed. “I haven”t in a long time.”

I tapped my fingers on the wheel, trying desperately to think of a change in topic. This felt too dangerously close to what we”d been discussing before. I couldn’t keep talking about this with him or I would combust. My entire body felt like it was on fire.

“Are you straight?” Addison asked hesitantly.

My heart thudded so hard into my chest that I bit my lip, trying to breathe.

When I glanced over at Addison this time, he wasn”t looking at me, but I knew that all his attention was fixed on me, nonetheless.

“Yes,” I finally said but there was an unexpected uncertainty in my voice that made me wonder, for the first time, if it was true.

I swallowed.

“I mean—I”ve only ever dated women,” I went on, confusion suddenly filling me.

“That doesn”t really mean anything,” Addison told me gently.

Our eyes caught again, and he shifted in his seat, moving imperceptibly closer.

“It”s just that, sometimes when you look at me, it seems like?—”

His hand landed on my leg and this time I did swerve.

“Fuck!”

I righted the car, and he jumped away as the one behind me honked loudly.

For a minute we were both silent, breathing hard, and then thankfully we were pulling into his driveway.

I looked up at his house.

It was nice, new and huge. In the dark, with all the lights off, it seemed intimidating.

How was I supposed to go in there now?

It felt like my brain had been short-circuited. I couldn”t even form a coherent thought.

“I”m sorry,” Addison mumbled. “I hope you don”t feel uncomfortable with me now. Maybe I was imagining things.”

I swallowed and looked at him.

He looked so stressed out and I didn”t blame him. He”d told me that he hadn”t dated in ages. That he mostly kept to himself in that way. Not to mention that one of his exes had turned nasty.

It was probably hard for him to put himself out there, but he was willing to try for me.

Butterflies erupted in my stomach, but I couldn”t tell if it was out of wanting to run or maybe to give him a chance.

“Do you still want to come in?” he asked. “I promise I won”t be weird.”

The fact that he felt like he should add that made me feel a little guilty. It wasn”t his fault I was having a mini breakdown.

I still couldn”t figure out how to speak, so I just nodded.

Even in the dark, I could see the relief on his face.

“Great,” he said. “Come on.”

Addison was obviously nervous as he let me inside. He wouldn’t quite meet my eyes as he showed me around the ground floor, on the way to the living room.

I was right. His house was intimidating. There was a huge chandelier hanging high above us in the entryway. His kitchen was something from my mom’s dreams and his living room was lined with floor-to-ceiling windows that overlooked a large property that stretched to some trees beyond.

Once I sat down, I realized that despite its size, Addison had somehow made it feel cozy.

The couch was big and comfy, the carpet was fluffy. There were pictures on the walls, printed on canvases, of people who I assumed were his family. There was also one spotlighted photo of him in his Troopers uniform mid-game in an action shot.

“That was from my first game with the team,” he explained, following my gaze.

“It”s nice.”

We lapsed into silence.

“I”ll pull up the recording,” he said and reached for the remote.

It took a minute to start it up before Addison leaned back into the cushions and glanced at me.

“If you want a drink? There are beers in the fridge. Or you can help yourself to whatever. Hope you don”t mind me just sitting here.”

I shook my head.

“I”m okay.”

We fell silent again, watching as the game started, but I could barely concentrate.

“What do you mean, I look at you a certain way?” I suddenly asked.

I bit my lip, instantly mortified by the word vomit. I hadn”t meant to say that. I hadn”t even been thinking about it consciously.

Addison looked at me.

Before speaking, he licked his lips. My gaze followed the flash of his tongue before I met his eyes again.

“Like that,” he said.

I blinked.

“Like what?”

He shrugged self-consciously.

“Like you want to kiss me...”

He trailed off, waiting for my response.

My heart was pounding again, and once more, I couldn”t find any words or thoughts to explain this.

I didn”t think I wanted to kiss Addison, but I liked being around him. I had liked how warm he had been in the bed next to me last weekend and now that I was actively thinking about kissing him, my body was buzzing with nerves because I thought—no, knew he would let me.

“Can I?” I asked quietly.

Addison didn”t make it a big deal, which I appreciated. He just swallowed, nodded and scooted closer.

Suddenly, it felt like I had never kissed anyone in my entire life. I was so nervous my hands were shaking.

It”s just a kiss, I told myself. It doesn”t mean anything. You”re just trying it.

But when Addison”s hand slid against my neck with firm confidence, pulling me closer, I pulled away, heart hammering like I was being attacked.

He didn”t let go, but his hand loosened, allowing me to take some space to breathe.

“Sorry,” I muttered, unable to look at him.

“It”s okay,” he said quietly.

His finger touched my chin and instead of pulling me closer, he came to me, tilting his head to brush his lips softly against mine.

I took in a ragged breath and then his lips brushed mine again, just as gently as the first time and my eyes fluttered shut.

I tried not to think, to let it come naturally and the moment my lips moved against his, Addison made a soft sound that shot straight through me. He pressed in closer, kissing me with a little more pressure. I returned each movement, getting lost in the silky feel of his lips moving against mine.

It felt good. I supposed that kissing was kissing.

The stubble was different though, but the scratch of it against my chin felt somehow good too. And the fact that it was Addison made it even more so.

It turned out that he could make me feel comfortable in every situation. Even this. Maybe, especially this.

Who else would I ever even consider experimenting with? I couldn”t imagine doing this with anyone else.

His tongue brushed my bottom lip, making it tingle, then again, pressing for entry.

My lips parted, letting him in and we both moaned softly as the kiss deepened.

His tongue felt just as good as everything else, somehow igniting all the nerves in my mouth as it slid inside.

Addison groaned and pushed closer until my back was being pressed flat into the couch and he fell on top of me.

He broke away with a wince and pushed up.

For a moment, I lay there, looking up at him as he adjusted his hurt leg into a comfortable position.

I didn’t think we were done. I hoped not. I was desperate for him to keep kissing me. I didn”t want to think about what I was doing. It felt too good to stop now, but the longer he wasn”t kissing me, the louder my thoughts were getting.

What was I doing? Was this okay? How far did Addison want to go?

Finally, he got his leg in a good spot, but I had to move my knee to the side to make room for his bulky cast which suddenly put Addison between my legs.

I froze as he settled in there. He let out a heavy, breath, looking down at me.

“Damn,” he whispered appreciatively. “You”re so gorgeous Cal.”

He traced my chest with the hand that he wasn”t using to hold himself up, pausing at my waistband. His eyes fixated on the very prominent bulge in my pants.

I could feel his matching erection against my thigh and for a moment I wanted to ask him to stop, but he didn”t touch me, the way I thought he was going to.

Instead, he slowly lowered his weight onto me, bringing us face to face again.

I took in a sharp breath as my hard-on was wedged between us. His eyes, normally so bright, looked so different, almost smoky with desire and I was mesmerized once more as he pressed our lips together again.

We started to kiss with renewed vigour. My hands tangled into his t-shirt because I didn’t know where to touch. I could feel his skin through the thin fabric and his warm hands held my face, or slipped down my sides, feeling me while we explored each other”s mouths.

I didn”t mean to start moving, didn”t even realize that I was thrusting up into his warmth until he was gasping and lifting off of me to realign our bodies.

When he pressed back down, the length of his hard cock jutted against mine.

I bit my lip, surprised that it felt so erotic and hot the second our cocks nestled together.

He braced his elbows on either side of my head and met my eyes as he started to move his hips.

I gasped and his mouth found mine again, sucking my lip from between my teeth with a throaty moan, kissing me more passionately now, his tongue and teeth demanding as he thrust against my cock.

I should stop this. I should push him off. We were going too far, too fast. My mind kept screaming for attention saying things like don”t you want tothink about this first? This is a man! But the sounds of our heavy breathing drowned them out and instead of pushing Addison away, my hands landed on his round ass, feeling the way he was rolling against me.

“Fuck,” he groaned, pulling off of me again to frantically tug at his pants. He shoved them down his hips, freeing his cock. For a moment I was staring at his big, erect dick, the wet, red, tip, the veins arching down it and the burst of sandy curls at the base. But I didn”t have time to get intimidated because he was yanking open my fly and pushing my pants down as far as he could get them.

My cock sprung free between us. Addison let out a shuddering breath.

He took it in his hand, and I nearly combusted from the heat in his palm and in his eyes as he looked at me and felt my length.

He didn”t do it for long, just gave me a few slow strokes before pressing his hips close enough that he could hold our cocks together.

My eyes rolled shut at the feeling as he gave a long thrust against my length.

Moaning, he lowered himself, careful to keep our cocks pressed together.

His injured leg ended up hanging off the couch and mine both went around his waist. Anything to get him closer.

“This okay?” he grunted against my mouth, beginning to thrust again.

I squeezed my eyes shut, clinging to him as my hips arched up in answer, legs tightening around his waist.

“Keep going,” I gasped, even though he hadn”t stopped.

He groaned, burying his face against my neck while he started to move faster, grinding down harder, bringing us both simultaneously closer to the edge.

“Oh, fuck,” I gasped, my hands clenched in his shirt, twisting it out of shape as he groaned against my collar.

My orgasm hit me fast, cum shooting between us as I gasped and shook. Addison immediately lost all control, his hips stuttering and stopping until he ground down almost too hard. He rode out the last spurts of pleasure from my twitching body while his cock spilled against mine.

Feeling his cock straining against my own was incredible.

We lay there, gasping for air, sweat cooling, still clinging to each other until the sounds of the TV suddenly seemed too loud.

“Ooh, it looks bad. Very bad,” the commentator was saying.

I glanced over at the same time that Addison lifted his head to see him lying on the field with his leg slightly turned at the wrong angle.

“Ugh,” he groaned and sat up to reach for the remote. He flicked off the TV and flung it onto the armchair.

Our gazes met.

Addison”s cheeks were still flushed pink. His pants were still around his thighs, softening cock out and come soaking his t-shirt. It looked like I”d completely messed up the shape of it too because the rumpled fabric hung too loose around the neck now.

I was surely in the same state, but before I could begin to feel self-conscious, Addison”s hands landed on my thighs, stroking them as he watched me appreciatively.

“Thank you for trusting me with all this Cal,” he said.

Heat travelled to my cheeks.

I didn”t know what to say to that, but it didn”t seem like Addison expected a response because he crawled over me and gave me another one of those gentle kisses that had started it all.

“Come up to bed,” he mumbled against my lips.

If I did that, we would definitely be doing more.

“We can just cuddle,” he said, reading my mind.

I chuckled because it was all so wild, I didn”t even know how to process it.

“I”m going to go home,” I said.

He lifted his head to look me in the eyes, searching.

“You sure?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

I needed time to process this. I didn”t want to just jump into it more than I already had.

Addison didn”t seem so happy about it, but he didn”t try to stop me, except with a kiss at the door.

He held onto my waist and kissed me until he was sure that I was returning it. It felt like he was trying to remind me of how good it was.

He probably thought that I was regretting it.

The weird thing was, even though I wanted space to think and not rush anything, the freakout that I expected never came.

I couldn”t pretend that I hadn”t been into every single flick of his tongue, the taste of his lips, even the way he smelled.

The feeling of his body on top of me had been like a warm blanket, so firm, heavy and comfortable. And his cock. Apparently, a cock doing nothing more than rubbing against mine was better than half the sex I”d ever had.

And I had a feeling that it was all because it was Addison.

Lying in bed that night, I tried to think of what my family would say, or what the public would think if we started to date each other because I didn’t think Addison was the type who would play around.

It scared me a little, but at the same time, it didn”t matter. If Addison wanted to be with me, that would be like winning the lottery.