Chapter Seven

Cassidy

His arm tightens around me and my eyes pop open remembering the fire and wood falling during the explosion. My fuzzy brain says it was the second one. Because one blast wasn’t enough. I don’t move while I’m trying to put all the pieces together. Some of the team were in the bar and the others showed up when my guard called them in with the news that me and Rafael had just walked in. They got me clothes for a couple of days and Agent Springer even loaned me an outfit to work in today. I moved in with nothing, but have clothes due here today. The worst is losing all my pictures and gifts from my dad. Mom says she’ll make me more pictures. It’s something.

All in all, we made it through, minor injuries and smoke inhalation were the worst because of the quick thinking of the team and Mario. My handsome GI Joe saved my life. He’s on a mission to make sure I stay alive. Since I like that idea so much, I think of a mission of my own.

My hand slides toward the tent under the blanket, but he stops me and pulls me over him. This will work too. “I’m on a mission.” My voice croaks out.

“Mmm, I saw. How do you feel, Bella?”

Pushing against his chest I sit and cough. Damn! He reaches for the pump and I catch my breath enough to use it. After holding my breath for the requisite thirty seconds or maybe it was fifteen, I try to look fine. “I’m good now.”

He smiles letting me know he isn’t buying it. Even with the stubble around his normally groomed beard, he’s so damn sexy. He sits putting his arms around me and holds me while I think about those stomach muscles rippling in order for him to sit straight up like that. A chill runs through me and he laughs. “It’s that easy for you, cari?o?”

“No, it’s not, but you’re getting closer.” I laugh when he does and lose my breath coughing again. This isn’t normal and it scares me a little. I take the pump from him but try to calm by holding the cough off enough to get a full breath in me. He spins me around holding me against him with one arm. I relax and breathe.

Reaching for his phone he hits numbers. “Get an appointment with Cassidy’s doctor for today.” He listens for a couple of seconds. “I’ll tell her, thanks, Rioux.” He kisses my head and I relax into him. That always makes me feel special, cherished. “He’ll get you an appointment. He said to use the machine every couple of hours until your appointment. He doesn’t want to prescribe anything else without your medical history. Your mom told him you don’t have attacks, but you’ve always had the pump to prevent them.” The concern is right there in his voice and it worries me too.

“I’ve never just lost my breath like this. Maybe it’s just the smoke?” I hope that’s it. This sucks.

He stands with me in his arms turning my body as if I’m a doll. The girl in me loves it. “Use the machine. I’ll make some coffee. What happens with too much medicine?”

Too much? “I don’t know. I’ve never needed anything but the pump since I was a kid.” I feel the air getting thicker. “It’s only been a couple of times a year.” I take a deep breath and start coughing. What the hell is going on?

My mother comes into the kitchen. “What happened?” She moves fast getting the medicine for the machine. I’m getting nervous about too much medicine. I already did the pump twice.

Rafael sits me down and bends so he’s looking at my eyes. “Relax, cari?o. I’ll call Harper and get the information. If you’re upset, your body reacts by pulling in air. Just relax and breathe.”

“Yeah, just breathe.” I close my eyes and think about yoga.

Opening my eyes, I feel Rafael near. He sits putting a cup in front of me. He’s sweet, I think smiling. “Thank you. I kind of zoned out in yoga land.”

“According to Harper, that’s a good thing. Use the inhaler every four to six hours. Try to relax and breathe when you feel your chest tightening, if that doesn’t work, use the inhaler. Harper said your inhaler is Ventolin. It can be used more often, but you need to be careful. It has side effects. Your doctor will put you on another medication if this is a long-term issue. It will help and drop the inhaler use down to a couple times a week. Use the machine as a last resort. Since you’re breathing easier, I’m glad I called before we fucked that up and over medicated you.” He smiles, but his eyes are concerned.

My mom plops down. “I didn’t know. I Googled it and got the same thing as Harper said. When is your appointment?” She’s worried.

I look at Rafael because I don’t know. “He’ll call when the office opens,” he says standing.

I look at my mom. “It’s never been like this.”

“When you were small we used a machine like that one.” She points to it. “You’ve controlled it with the pump as you needed and your dad had you doing the martial arts to help calm and teach you how to breathe better. He said your body needed to learn it differently. I just went with it because it worked.” She shrugs, but her face shows regret.

“It did work, Ma. I’ll figure it out and make it work again.”

Rafael sits pushing a coffee over to her. Sweet. He kisses the side of my lips and I smile. “That may take a while, but you’re right, it’s something you can work around and live with. Harper said you’ve got this.” He’s so cute with that dimpled smile.

I laugh happy that I’m not coughing with it. “She always says that. She pushes me to do more all the time. Maybe I can get out of the marathon now.”

They laugh, but I’m serious.

* * *

This day will go down in history as the absolute worst!

The office is out of control. If people would stop gossiping long enough to actually work, this would be easier. The governor called as soon as the news broke that Evan was charged, making this so much better. Not! The State’s Attorney is supposed to send someone to run the office while we’re being investigated to make sure the rest of us aren’t committing acts of felony. As if all that isn’t enough, the doctor put me on a different medicine and I have to go back on Saturday. And Rafael wouldn’t make love to me in the shower! Cranky doesn’t even begin to describe my mood.

My phone rings and I snatch it up. “ADA Warner.”

“Bad day, mi sol?” His voice croons and I melt.

“The worst. How about you?” My hand starts doodling on my calendar.

“Better now that Waite got me the information from your doctor. I’m glad he got you in today. Are the pills helping?”

Waite got him my doctor’s notes? “I’m breathing and haven’t used the pump, even with everything happening here, I feel pretty good.” I’m not happy, but I hold onto that.

“That’s good news, cari?o. The insurance adjuster can meet us at your house at six. I’ll take you for dinner after that or we can pick something up. This time I’ll make sure we eat.”

I can hear the smile in his voice and picture that. His words hit me like a hammer. “You talked to the insurance adjuster?” I don’t add about my house.

He doesn’t answer right away and I throw the calendar across the room. Harper walks in and picks it up. I hit the speaker and cover my mouth with a finger. “Your mother saw him in front of the building and alerted the surveillance team. She had him call me for a time to meet with you. Figuring your day would be long I tried for later. Is that a bad time, Cassidy?”

Harper hits the speaker button and picks up the phone pushing it at me. “It’s fine,” she whispers.

I glare at her. “It’s fine, Rafael. I need to go. I’ll see you when you get here.” I drop the phone and she swipes it off.

“Your new meds are steroids. It’s showing. You need to calm your ass down before you fuck this up with the Commander. Relax and keep in mind that you’re short-tempered and he may not deserve being on the other end of that stick.” She throws my calendar on the desk.

Whatever. “He talked to the insurance adjuster about MY house. Waite got my doctor information. Isn’t that a little stalkerish? Invasive. None of his business!”

She stands and leans over my desk making me lean back. “I gave Waite the information from your doctor after I talked to him. The Commander called me for information today about your asthma. He doesn’t do shit like that, but he did it for you. Mom had the adjuster call him about a time. Since the team is covering you, she did the right thing. How the fuck would you know what time to tell him? She saved you time and phone calls. Get a grip, Cassidy.”

Since she looks like she’s going to hit me, I nod. She sits and I relax thinking about that. Egad, she’s right. “I need to apologize to him. I’m a hot mess. These pills won’t work if I’m flying off the handle over stupid stuff like this.” What the hell will I do in court if I can’t even handle my personal life? Giving the judge attitude is probably not good for my career.

“Relax. It’s not a high enough dose that the Hulk will be showing all the time. The hope is that this is temporary, but even if it’s not, you can control the bitch from hell outbursts. You’ll get used to the pills, right now it’s new and your body is figuring out how to use them.” She’s a doctor that knows more than me.

“Thanks. I’ll apologize later. This place is a zoo today. We’re all under investigation because of that spineless coward.” I cover my mouth with my hand. Am I doing it again?

She laughs. “He deserves the bitch from hell attitude. He could have gotten you killed. Your house and bar are toast. Do you want to sell?”

Sell? That would make life easier. “To you?”

She rolls her eyes at me. “No, Wheeler and Ford. The program is working well. They like the idea of being here for a while and setting down some roots. Most of the men aren’t re-signing. ”

I like that idea because that means Rafael is here long term too. I hope he doesn’t sign on again. He’s so invested in military life this has to be difficult for him. “What do you think I should do?”

“Ma said you moved in with the Commander. The extra time will be good for you. You’ll be giving yourself the time for the things you want to do. That shelter you’re always talking about or the Christmas thing.” She’s good with advice. I hope now that she’s settling here she’ll find a man.

I nod. “I’ll talk to Rafael tonight. Ma will need a job.”

She laughs. “They’d keep her on. She’s great with the guys and they love her. It will keep her out of your hair too.”

“I’ll add that to the good for today. You want to go shopping with me Saturday? I need some clothes. I thought you were in Waltham.”

“It was a mass shooting. They all died of gunshot wounds. The SAC was whining about help. They didn’t need me, he just wanted someone to do his job. The other team went up to extract the businessmen so I was called in. I’m not shopping with you. You turn into a whiny five-year-old when you have to shop.” She stands and I want to whine but I think it’s the pill and keep my mouth shut.

“Okay. I guess you’re back at mom’s. Sorry, Harper.” That’s two good things today, I’m not at my mother’s too.

“I’ll stay in my dorm at the office. Donna’s picking me up. I dropped my shit in your spare room and that’s gone. We’re shopping so I have something to wear besides cargos and FBI polos. Dinner tomorrow, remember?”

I nod. “Donna has the apartment over the garage open. That kid who rented it took a job in Mass. I remember the dinner, Stella told me to invite Rafael no less than four times. She told me to tell him to bring the panty-dropping smile.”

She laughs walking out the door. Stella is funny.

* * *

Rafael

We walk through the plywood that’s covering the door and I stop. Even with the mask, Cassidy is coughing. “She can’t stay in here.” I walk her out with the adjuster following. She uses the inhaler as soon as the mask is off.

“We can’t get through the whole place anyway. What I need is inventory for the bar and pictures and inventory for your house. Any receipts will be helpful.”

“Receipts are all scanned. I can send them through email. The house pictures and contents are in my insurance file. The renovations were finished in January, so the agent has them,” she says and for some reason that makes me proud.

The adjuster writes shit down then looks at her. “I’ll get the totals from the insurance agent and add the bar and any new items you’ve added since January. Once I have all the information I’ll get you the numbers for each policy. Is the phone number I have correct?”

She looks at me and I don’t understand why. “You can email me at the address you have there. My job makes answering personal calls almost impossible.”

He nods and closes his file. “I’ll email then send a registered letter to your new address.”

“Thank you for meeting me so quickly.” She’s got her professional mask on.

The adjuster looks at the burnt out shell of the building. “This needs to be taken care of quickly, or we’ll end up with claims of people being hurt on the premises even though it’s posted a danger zone.” He walks away and I want to snatch him back by the collar. She lost everything here including the ability to breathe freely and he’s worried about future claims. Asshole.

“He’s married, but that isn’t happy.” She smiles up at me.

He’s married? “Why do you say that?” I’m not broken up about the happy thing, but I bite.

She laughs then coughs. I wait hoping we didn’t just make that worse for her. “Anyone with so little compassion is not living a happy life. Can you imagine the woman that attracted?”

I laugh thinking she’s right. “Is there anything you want to try and find in there, Cassidy? I can have the forensic training work through the debris.”

She’s coughing again, so I lead her to the truck sitting her inside and wait for her to answer. When she calms, she breathes slowly. “The smoke is still in the air. I have a safe that I’d like back. Anything my father left would be nice, but I don’t think any of that made it. The rest can be replaced.”

She’s very calm about her world being blown to bits. I just nod. “I’ll have Waters start that right away.” Closing her door, I send a text to Waters about the safe and any personal items that might have made it.Lecompte is doing the arson investigation so I know she’ll help.

We stop at Primos for some meat to grill. Sal is smiling at me when I walk in. “Cassidy! I am so glad to see you’re okay! Bad business that bomb was.” He comes around the counter and hugs her. I guess he’s happy to see her. “Rafael, you brought one of my favorite women to see me. General Lecompte was a good friend. I’ve known the family since she was yay high.” His hand goes to his knee. “Your mother is worried, Cassidy. I hope the man outside and Rafael here are keeping you safe.”

She steps back putting her arm around me letting him know we’re together. That feels good, so I do the same and get a smile from her. She turns that smile to him. “They are, Sal. We came in for dinner. What do you have that’s good?”

Sal gives me a look. “Cassidy is a good girl. You treat her right, Rafael, or no more good cuts for you.”

I nod keeping the smile off my face. Cassidy answers for me. “He’s been perfect, Sal. How is Maria?”

He seems satisfied and walks around the counter. “She’s good, good. The grandbabies are keeping her busy. Now that you have a man you need to give your momma grandbabies to look after.”

I look at Cassidy and see her face pale. She doesn’t want kids? My mother will have a heart attack if she hears that. “Sal, my house was bombed, the office is crazy and I literally just moved in. Can I have a minute to get used to all that first?” she says and shakes her head with a smile on.

So it’s just not yet. The relief I feel means something here. I need to look at that but not now. Sal is giving me another look. “I do not understand moving in but not being married and ready for babies. In my day we were married before anyone moved. You need to do better, Rafael. The good girls deserve more from men. They deserve the commitment of marriage before moving in.”

Oh shit. I look at Cassidy. She’s trying not to laugh. “I think GI Joe here needs a little time for that one, Sal. What are we having for dinner?”

Sal pulls a slab of meat from the case. “So you are military, Rafael?” He looks at Cassidy. “I ask, but he tells me he is from an Agency. I know he is not in insurance.”

I laugh thinking about the little weasel we just met with. “I was Delta, but now I run the new FBI Office here.”

“I knew it was military. This is why the FBI took over the DA case, yes? Cassidy’s bomb made you step in and see the no good boss man she worked for? One day for the FBI to see him for the traitor he is to his country. Good job, government man. I do not like him from the beginning.” His accent gets thicker the longer he talks.

I look at Cassidy. It’s not a bad idea to let people think that’s how it worked. She gives a small nod. “It is, Sal. Once we stepped in, we found other information that was concerning. We’ll get it straight and keep Cassidy safe.”Vague is good here. This guy talks to everyone.

She gives me a smile then looks at Sal. He’s smiling. “You had ribs, ground beef, hotdogs and chicken. You are probably sick of that. Today you have some nice center cut pork chops.”He’s not asking so I nod thinking that sounds good.

“How did you know?” Cassidy is surprised making me smile.

His knife points at me. “Rafael sent his food people to shop here at Primos. He trusts my market more than the big stores that do not know their customers.”

She’s smiling up at me, so I keep my eyes on Sal. He cuts two big pieces of meat and wraps it in paper. “I’ll get some corn. Do you want anything else?” she asks.

“Maria made some pasta salad. It will go good with your pork chops,” Sal offers and she nods. I like this. I’ve never been part of a couple like this.

I pay at the counter and we make a promise to see him soon. Since he’s a block away from us and apparently a family friend, it’s guaranteed that we will.

In the truck, Cassidy starts laughing. She coughs a couple of times, but she catches her breath and is fine by the time I pull into the house. I shut the truck off before I hit the door closed. “I need to build walls for a garage soon. The fumes will be all through the house in the winter.” I wasn’t planning on walls at all, but she’s not going to breathe that shit in at her own house. My feet stop when I hit the side of the truck. Agent James comes through the door and I nod at him distracted. I’m trying to remember when I decided she’s not leaving and this is her house. I guess when she said she was moving in. I close the roll door and open hers. Shaking my head, I wonder again at these thoughts. She’s a witch.

“I didn’t know you were making a garage.” She watches Agent James. “You added a desk today?”

I smile. “Waite and Benavides put it in for surveillance. It will come out when it’s not needed.”

James is checking the days outside video when we climb the stairs. She’s breathing fine I notice. Jesus, next I’ll be putting in an elevator for her .

There are boxes and bags on the table. Waite must have brought them up. She shrieks pulling a bag apart. I look at the name and smile. Cassidy Warner’s clothes arrived at my house. Our house. “I have my own clothes to work in and for the dinner tomorrow!”

Dinner? “What dinner?” I’m losing it. I can’t remember a dinner.That’s never happened. My head is full of shit like babies and a new garage and I forgot a dinner? I need to get a handle on this.

She’s struggling to pull tape off a box, so I pull my knife and slice it open. “Stella’s. After the heart attack scare, she wanted a dinner to feel alive.”

She can’t be serious. “This is a girl’s night out thing?” I ask.For some reason, I like the thought of her having fun with her friends.

She stops pulling clothes from the box and looks at me. “I forgot to ask you?”

She means beg me. “She wears two pairs of panties so she can drop one, Bella. That woman shouldn’t be allowed out of the house.” There’s no fucking way I’m going.

She drops the clothes and turns toward me putting her hands on my waist. “It’s because you’re so handsome, my favorite GI Joe man.” She’s laying it on thick.

I’m shaking my head no. “Your favorite, as in there are others?” The thought pisses me off.

“Of course not. But you are handsome and you smile in that way that has women noticing and I already told them you would be there. Please?”

“She’s crazy, cari?o. I don’t want to be in the same house as she is. She wants me to smile at her so she can drop her panties. She’s like seventy. No one wants to see that shit, especially not me.”

She starts laughing then coughing. When she turns and her hands hit the table, I lift her and sit. “Okay, mi vida, relax.” I keep talking until she calms. She leans her head on my chest and relaxes into me. “Where’s your inhaler?”

She waves her hand and takes a breath. It sounds deeper than the last few. I tell her about training today. Waters really did put up a tightrope and had everyone run it. I don’t dare tell her about Petrov falling and nearly splitting himself in half. Every one of us winced and felt it when he hit. He was screaming and wouldn’t let anyone touch him to get him off the damn rope. He was holding on for dear life. Fourteen fucking minutes it took to get him to let the damn rope go. That’s a long time to hear a man moan. Waters had us run it right after. Most of us were laughing.

She turns and kisses my neck. “Thank you. I don’t want to use the pump if I can avoid it. A minute of relaxing wrapped up in you is better medicine and the side effects are a bonus.”

Her not breathing wants me to pump her full of medicine, but I like this way too. I got kissed on the neck and she’s still on my lap. “Mmm, much longer and the side effects will start showing, cari?o.” I kiss her head thinking side effects are good.

She smiles and shines her eyes at me. “That’s the smile that Stella wants to see. Since I own your heart, dick and now I’m your life, you can practice not showing that sexy smile with the smoldering eyes. Then Stella won’t drop one of her pairs of panties in front of the whole family. The office would talk about that one for years.”

So much for the side effects showing. “Jesús maldito Cristo.I did not agree, Cassidy. Ownership doesn’t mean I forfeit reason. The woman scares and embarrasses me. Grandmothers don’t talk like that. They’re wise and share meaningful advice.”

She laughs causing my arms to tighten and pull her back to my chest. “You grew up sheltered behind those embassy walls. You would have hated my grandmother.”

“We did not live in the embassy. My father worked there. We were back here and I went to high school in New York. No different from you and I never met a grandmother that acted like Stella.” No one ever met a woman like that.

I feel her body shaking. “What about like my mother?”

Shit. “There have been women that show blatant and aggressive interest, but I spent my early years in a different culture. At first, I thought they were odd or being funny, now I see they have no filter. It’s like they’re born missing that. Who tells a man to lower his towel? You, her daughter, were sitting naked on my bed.” I think she was right the first night. Her mother is crazy.

She’s laughing again. I keep my mouth shut and wait. After a minute she’s calm and breathing without the cough. “No filter is a good way to describe them. Please come to dinner. Some of the team will be there. They’ll help.”

Yeah, right. “They’ll laugh their fucking asses off.”

She looks up with that light in her eyes. “A trim team is a healthy team?”

I laugh shaking my head no.

Her eyes change and her demure mask falls into place. “I would like for you to go with me. Not to be laughed at or the butt of a joke, but because I care about you and would like my family and friends to meet the man that has captured my heart. You are the sun in my crazy life too, Rafael. I’d like them to meet the man that is strong enough to be my anchor in a world full of crazy.” Her eyes hold mine with a challenge and sincerity showing.

Son of a bitch. The only thing she didn’t do is bat her eyelashes at me. “That crazy is mostly your family and friends, cari?o.”

She nods trying to hide the smile. “That’s why I need you, mi Vida,” she says it perfect.

I roll my eyes at her. “You’re fucking killing me, Cassidy. I’m switching to fucking German when I talk to you.” I watch her jaw tighten knowing she’s stopping the laugh that’s trying to escape. “You owe me. I’ll go to the lunatics’ house, but you owe me big. ”

She nods smiling. “I’ll accept that debt happily. What do you want?”

I stand and set her on her feet. “I’ll tell you later.”I put the bag of meat and corn on the counter and get her hangers for her clothes. She watches me drop them on the table, but I keep my face blank. Kissing her head, I don’t smile until I turn back to the kitchen. I’m going to get all the answers to my questions tonight.

I keep an eye on her progress and bring hangers into the closet when she has a stack of clothes on them. Pulling the chops off the grill, I dump the corn into a strainer and carry shoe boxes in for her. She’s smiling in the closet.

“This is exactly how I hung them. How did you know?” she asks like I’m a magician.

“I watched you pull clothes from your closet.”

Her head shakes. “You remember better than I do.”

“Everything about you, Bella. You’re unforgettable.”

Her mouth falls open and I smile. “I’ll tell you about it later. Dinner is ready in five, cari?o.” I kiss the edge of her lips then turn and get our food on the table.

* * *

Cassidy

He makes me crazy. He made dinner again, never asking me to help. He helped with my clothes, even putting them in the order that I do and he helped pack the dishwasher and clean the kitchen. He told me about Spain, only in answering questions, but he wasn’t stingy with the details. He’s a very complex man. So damn sexy but hard and so damn romantic that he almost shimmers with it. I don’t think he even knows it. It’s like it’s ingrained. Can romance be ingrained or part of his DNA?

I sigh and change the direction of those thoughts. Its too soon. He thinks Ford and Wheeler would be good together. I guess I can ask them about buying the bar when I see them. So many things are changing for me and happening around me, I’m having trouble staying focused tonight.

“Cassidy? ”

I look up and see he’s watching me. What did I miss? “Yes?”

“You didn’t hear a thing I said. Where are you, cari?o?” Great now he looks concerned.

“In my head. It’s filled tonight and I’m a bit scattered.” A bit. I almost laugh, but I haven’t coughed since before dinner, so I stifle it.

He takes my hand and walks to the bedroom. “Where did you put your night clothes?”

Night clothes. I smack my head. “I have the shorts Willow lent me.”

Oh, my God, he turns with that smile on his lips and the smoldering eyes.

“Naked is my preference and I’m glad it is yours too, Bella. I need something to cover you from the shed to the house. Do you have sweats?”

I want naked with that look in his eyes. Shed? Wait, what? “Shed?”

He goes to the dresser with the mirror that he told me to use and starts opening the drawers. “You are not walking back in a towel while I have men stationed around the house.” He closes the empty drawers. “You have nothing but panties and bras in here. Do you have sweats in the closet?”

Sweats? “No, I’m shopping Saturday. I’ll get some pj pants and Ts. I don’t do sweats. I had some yoga pants and running outfits but no sweats. I only wear them to actually do yoga or run.”

He smiles as if that’s funny. “What do you wear to go shopping, do work around your house or on Saturday’s?”

“Clothes that fit in with what I’m doing. A dress, jeans, skirt, overalls. Do you wear sweats when you’re not working?” I’m not sure if I should be offended here or not.

He’s still smiling and it gets bigger. “If I am training yes. I train daily, but that’s usually at work. At home, I have been known to wear sweats, shorts or old jeans. ”

Old jeans. Ooh, I hope they’re worn out jeans. I look at his cargos and hear him laugh. That draws my eyes up to his pretty quick. “It was the old jeans, sorry.”

“Bella, you need something to cover you to get back to the house. Help me out here.”

The shorts are in the laundry. I dropped them in the chute, so that’s out. “Can I borrow a T and your boxers again?”

He nods smiling. He’s a happy guy for someone so serious. “Did you even own T-shirts?” he asks and I think he’s laughing at me.

I grab the clothes from him. “Of course, I had the requisite band shirts, a couple of marathon shirts and even a Mickey Mouse.”

“But did you buy them?”He is laughing at me.

Smartass. “The marathon shirts are given when you enroll, so yes, in a roundabout way, I bought them with the entrance fee.”

He nods with that smirk and I want to slap it. Egad! The pills. I need to relax. “You have enough for both of us,” I say calmly.

“I do, cari?o, and I’m willing to share them. I’ll even buy you the requisite band shirts to replace what you lost.” He walks us down the back stairs and to a shed on the side of the yard. He’s very sweet to buy me shirts.

I’ll leave him a list, so he doesn’t buy them all.“You do have a pool!”

He flips the light on and I see it’s a small pool and to the side a hot tub that’s running. “It’s a lap pool that has a treadmill and other exercise features. I can show you another day. It won’t do for you to try it out right now, but it can help you once you’re breathing better. The hot tub hasn’t been used and empties to be filtered and dispersed once I shut it off.”

How cool is that? Harper said all the new government buildings do stuff like that. The water is sent elsewhere, so it doesn’t waste electricity heating and filtering daily for equipment that isn’t touched. I’m glad he used the same technology here at his house. “You haven’t been in it?”

“No, Bella, I was waiting for you.” He smiles making me laugh at the cheesy comeback.

“Well, thank you. The air is thick in here.” As we move closer, it’s a little harder to breathe. He hits buttons on a glass panel. I feel air being pulled from around me and a whooshing noise as it’s sucked up to the ceiling. I love this place!

His shirt is off before he’s even turned back. “That will help.” All his clothes get folded and dropped on a bench while I’m undressing.

I like that he’s methodical in his movements. He takes towels from a closet in the wall and smiles at my folded clothes. I can’t believe he built and had this all stocked. I want to see what else is behind the walls while he’s smiling because I folded my clothes.

“Are you breathing okay?”

I nod and take his hand climbing the steps to get in. The fan makes it a little cold while I’m standing here naked. My foot hits the water and I moan, it’s perfect. “I love your ideas.”

He steps right in and lifts me down to the center. This is better than any hot tub I’ve ever been in. It’s up to my neck! “Let’s sit so I can get what you owe me, cari?o.” He lifts me and sits on a seat with me in his lap.

“Does it involve sexual favors? I’m all for paying up right now if it does.”

He laughs. “That was a plan but no, Cassidy. I wouldn’t make sex a payment for a dinner even when it’s with crazy women.”

“Damn!” Wait it’s still in the plan? I wait to hear the plan with my hands sliding up his wet chest.His mouth is on my neck and he turns me. “Aaaah, I like this way.” Hot water is rushing all around me. “Do the jets move?”

“Oscillate, yes. It’s set to change the force and temp of the water too.” He’s so matter of fact. Nothing is about pride with him, well maybe Stella, but never what he has or has done. His hands slide up my back and I’m loving the oscillating jets and his attentive fingers .

“It feels good. I love all your gadgets.” I clamp my mouth shut and look at his chest. Holy shit, I almost said I love everything about him. Do I? I can’t think with his hands on me. When they move to my breasts, I’m not thinking of anything but the heat rolling through and around me. I’ve always been sensitive, but the water and his hands are too much all at once. Putting my hands on his face, I pull and kiss him getting the more I’m looking for before my brain short circuits.

* * *

Rafael

“That’s it, mi vida, let it go.” I’m trying to give her time to breathe, but she keeps pulling my mouth to hers. I slide lower and move her up taking her nipple in my mouth. She’s the most sensitive woman I’ve ever met and I fucking love it. Squeezing her tits together I rub my face against her nipples and she goes off like a rocket. I guess the beard does it for her. “Siempre un regalo, Bella,”I tell her it’s always a gift. Smiling I kiss up her neck and move us back so she can lean against my chest. I like her right here.

Her head moves and she kisses my neck. I like that too. She’s breathing heavy, but there’s no coughing. I brought her inhaler just in case, but I’m glad she doesn’t need it. “It’s so beautiful to see you come for me, cari?o.”

She pushes against me and looks into my eyes with that small smile on her face. She’s pleased and amused as she grinds against my dick. “You forgot to use German.”

How she can make me laugh when I’m so fucking hard is a mystery. “Old habits.”

She lifts and slides me in so slow I’m clenching my jaw. Fuck, that’s good. I love how she watches my eyes. “I don’t know German.” She bounces down moaning and draws one out of me.

Fuck. My brain is trying to remember German, but there’s not enough blood flow, so I go to English. “Slow, baby. Keep it slow and breathe. ”

She rocks her hips forward and I see her suck in a breath. “Yeah.”

Slowing her down I hold her eyes and move my hips for her. I see right when I’m hitting right and set a pace that’s slow but oh so fucking good. Every move, every feeling and every emotion registers on her face and in her eyes. “Mujertanbella,” I tell her she’s such a beautiful woman, but I don’t add so fucking sexy. I keep that for me.

Leaning in she kisses my lips then moves across to my ear. “Mmm, with your liquid eyes connecting us as much as your dick is, I want more. Fuck me, Rafael,” she whispers with her voice dropping low.Jesus, I snap my hips up and she cries out, “Yes, just like that.”

“Anything for my beautiful woman.” Moving a hand to her tit, I roll her nipple. Her body responds by squeezing my dick so hard I see white. She’s loud with her sexy sounds as I pull her down harder. Her reactions make me work for more. “I want it all and I want it from my sexy Bella, mi vida.”

Her hands roaming all over me, her face showing pure ecstasy and her body shuddering while tightening around my dick has me adding to her sounds with a growl. “Ella me da todo.” I don’t know if I’m saying it to her or me, but she does, she holds nothing back, she gives me everything. Controlling my airflow and heart rate doesn’t seem possible right now. I just hold her down letting her body stroke me. She flops on my chest with a cough pulling me out of my head. Her breathing is shallow, but the cough at every in-take has me moving back so she’s sitting up straighter.

“You’re ruining me, my Bella. I can’t think of anything but deeper and hitting where you need me to when my dick is in you. No, that’s wrong. I think of that all the time.”

She laughs and coughs, so I tell her about needing to see everything in her beautiful eyes. I keep talking trying to relax her, stopping only when her cough does. “You’re breathing easier, cari?o. Do you need to get out of here?”

She sits straight looking relaxed and calm. Telling myself I need to let her breathe helps keep my dick in line. Just fucked looks good on her. “You were talking to refocus my breathing?”

“Your breathing is very important to me, princesa. I want everything you’re willing to give me for those tomorrows we need to talk about.” I kiss the side of her lips as they frown.

“I’m moved in.” Her eyebrows draw down causing little wrinkles at her nose. I kiss it liking the look.

“You have. Knowing you are mine fills me with pride but also scares me, mi vida. I’ve never lived with a woman. I’ve never felt this way and I need some answers, so I know how it all works. Wanting you here in my life, in our house, isn’t enough.” I turn her and the jets switch to slower just filtering. Perfect timing for us to talk.

“There are no guarantees, Rafael. I want to be here too, but I’ve never lived with anyone either. I don’t have your answers.” She looks away. She doesn’t want to do this or she’s not sure?

“Since you owe me, I’m taking it in answers, Bella.” That gets her eyes back on mine. The muscles around her mouth tighten, but I get a small nod. “Do you want kids?”

She smiles and I feel relief at seeing it. “When I’m thirty-four and I only want two.” Her body relaxes.

“Thirty-four?” I guess two works. I’ve always known I’d have kids but never thought much about with who or how many.

She laughs and I’m glad it’s not with coughing right after. “I’m a girl. We spend our lives dreaming of the perfect family. Picturing all the ways we’ll make that dream come true. Mine is two kids and the perfect husband when I’m settled in a career but before I’m forty. Six years for two kids seems reasonable. One after the other or with time in between, both work for me.”

I nod and ask everything I can think of from preferred presents to paying bills. I even get her favorite hobbies and designer’s name. She’s been asking about me every time she answers, showing me that it’s important to her too. My heart speeds up while she’s talking about shoveling snow. I have no problem shoveling and don’t really care about snow. “Cari?o, when can I ask you to be my wife?”

Fuck. Her body freezes, the look of shock hits her face making her eyes go wide. I keep my expression blank and wait. Who else do I have to ask? She owns me already. “We just met. Don’t you think it’s a little soon? What if we hate each other next week?”

“What if we don’t? I know more about you than anyone on the planet besides my family. You don’t give a shit that I live by an ingrained set of rules. You hate what I don’t care about and love what I defend and cherish. You work to serve justice while I fight for it. You don’t need a lap dog and I can never be one. Mi vida, you already own my soul, my body is just a technicality at this point. What if it’s as good as your dream of the perfect family?” I shut my mouth. If I have to convince her it already doesn’t work.

When she doesn’t answer, I carry her out and put a towel around her. She is in her head somewhere, but it’s not here with me. I have no idea what I’m feeling right now. Drying her, I try to identify it. Disappointment fits, but it’s more. She doesn’t feel what I do and I don’t know where that leaves me in her future. She dresses on automatic pilot and I set the hot tub to clean then drain. I dress without looking at her. Just seeing her and knowing there will be an end is too fucking hard. I stay busy until she’s dressed.

When she sits on the bench, I don’t know what to do. I sit beside her looking at the wall and wondering what happens next. This is why I never lived with anyone. When it didn’t work, I could move on or they could. Cassidy has me stuck in this limbo where I can’t walk away, but I’m afraid she will. When the fuck have I ever been afraid?

She takes my hand and I finally look at her. She’s smiling? “What if? I told you there were no guarantees and I was the one wanting it. My next thought was what about love? You’ve given and demanded us to be exclusive. You tell me in every conversation we have, that you feel that. I got the words, but at times they mean different things. My love, my life, is you telling me you love me.” Her head cocks to the side and I nod.

Of course, I love her. Or whatever this is, my head is fucked up right now, it must be love.

“We’ve talked about everything, then tonight about us and everything. You’re right, I know you better than anyone before you. I see who you are through more than your words. You show me all the time. It’s been a short time in days, but we’ve run the gamut in situations, emotions and reactions. It’s time to step up or shut up. I’m stepping up too, Rafael. While you’ve told me, I haven’t done that for you. I love you, Rafael, my very own GI Joe. I just realized it today, but I’m telling you. You own me too, so whenever you ask, I’ll answer. Usually, the man doesn’t ask the women when it’s a good time to ask and I was thrown by that. Then I realized you wouldn’t know.”

She loves me. She isn’t walking away. Jesus, I breathe then need to hear it again. “Say it again.”

She laughs. “The whole thing or the part that had you holding your breath?” Her hand waves in front of my face but I’m waiting. “I love you, Rafael Saber. You own my heart too.”

Lifting her up I kiss her while spinning her around. I heard her right. She squeals and I stop spinning. Not a very smooth move. I set her down holding her face in my hands. “We will make that dream come true, mi amor.”

She smiles and I know she’s holding her laugh in. “I think we will and it will be with sheer determination on your part.”

I nod. She’s right. “I don’t quit, Bella. Ever.”

She turns and runs for the door laughing. “We’ll see about that at dinner tomorrow.”

That’s something I might consider quitting for. I catch her just as she starts coughing. Hitting the fan and alarm, I carry her into the house and up the stairs. She’s calm by the time I sit her on the table. “You have no problem with my needy ass and the asthma?” Her eyes show a lack of confidence that I hate.

When the hell did I start feeling emotions based on her looks? I smile. She loves me. I guess it doesn’t matter. “I have a big problem with the asthma, your ass is in need of more attention, but that can wait. The asthma will do whatever it’s going to do and we’ll adjust for it. Millions of people have asthma, I’m sure we can figure it out just like they do.”

She nods relieved. “Thank you.”

Kissing her head, I’m glad to be over this hurdle. “Do you have anything to do now?” I have a million things running through my head.

She slides off the table. “I have court tomorrow and need to go over the case.”

“I’ll be in the office for a while.”

She pulls my shirt. “Love you, GI Joe man.” I get a kiss then watch her walk away.Mi amor, mi vida.