Chapter 37

Ryker

"Why did you bring me here, Ryker?"

I still haven't answered her.

I've always given my partners exactly what they want. Groomed and trained early, I will always be a motherfucking sex worker in some capacity. Tara's gaze drifts to the date tattooed on my chest and the ragged, thick scar just under it only emphasizes the severity of that night for me. All because I became a new man the night my life tumbled into total darkness does not mean I turned a new leaf.

I'm more depraved than ever.

I've spared the world of my volatile nature as best I can, and Tara keeps yanking the chains of my leash to pry the links apart and break me free.

Damn this woman for trying. And damn me for allowing her.

"I'm supposed to be untouchable." My cold words slither out with a hint of venom. "I've built my empire around being the one thing everyone wants and can't have." To go from being used like a toy to what I am now isn't something I'm willing to give up. Ever. "But I…" My voice cracks. "I wanted…"

Tara's gaze softens. She's waiting for me to come out with it, and I don't know if I can. It's too despicable to admit.

Her head tips back and she says, "You wanted to be the one who pays to have the pleasure for once."

If I could jump off a bridge right now, I would. Shame rides up my back and neck, heating my face. "Yes."

She should slap me. Punch me. Beat me to death for admitting that I wanted to be on the opposite end of my past for a little. There's no sense in trying to explain that I can make it good for us both, or that I respect her and want her to have nothing but pleasure out of me, too. But what would be the point? My actions have been nothing but cruel and contradictory since the beginning.

Dmitri was right, I sabotage myself in epic ways. My volatile behavior has nothing to do with Tara as a woman, and everything to do with me as a fucked up bastard.

Tara's not a whore. No Butterfly is. And my feelings for her have transformed into something wicked. I don't know what to do about it. She's everything I could want and more. I don't deserve her.

"Use me," she says, cutting through the prickly silence between us.

My eyes snap to hers. "What?"

"Use me. Let go and use me however you want."

There's no way I heard her correctly. "Tara."

"I'm the Butterfly. I get what I want, correct? Take back your power, Ryker, and use me to do it."

I'm too messed up to be trusted this much. "What if I go too far?"

She shrugs, like this is no big deal. "I'll call Red if you do."

Tara doesn't know that she's offering me the biggest fantasy of my life right now. As a Switch, I'm well versed in power plays and I'm great at holding back and maintaining control in every scene. For once, I want to lose it all. Tara's giving me permission to do that with her. "This is dangerous."

"Maybe." She leans back with nothing but confidence in her body language. "But I trust you, Ryker Hudson."

And that, I fear, will be our downfall.

Damn me straight to Hell, but I can't deny myself, or Tara, of what we both want anymore. "We need rules before we start," I warn.

"No rules, Ryker." Tara sits up, closing her legs and pushing her dress down. "You'll toe the line the whole time. I want you to do anything… everything… you want to me."

She has no clue what she's fucking saying. Her naiveness will make me back off before we've even started. "Tara, you don't even know what your hard lines are. Do you have a clue what your soft ones are, at least?"

Her expression tells me no, she doesn't. As her Dom, I need to protect her, not only from me, but from herself.

"I'll call Red," she says again.

"That's not good enough." My dick's limp between my legs. I push off the floor and grab my pants. "We need a perimeter to play in. I need limits." Because I honestly have none.

The notion gives me pause. Who am I to say she must have a line when I don't have one myself?

Fuck. We're too new to each other to be considering going this far yet.

"What do you want to do to me, Sir?"

Squeezing my eyes shut and counting to ten is the only way to calm my rapid heart rate. "Tara, this isn't going to work."

"What do you want to do to me, Ryker?"

There goes my name in her mouth again. It freezes me in place. Tara scissors her legs together, seeking friction for her needy little cunt while she stares up at me. She's so pretty, so precious, so fragile. The monster in me wants to tear her apart and fuck her piece by piece.

"I told you what I wanted from you." She dips her hand between her thighs but hides the view with the hem of her dress. "Return the favor."

Fine. If she wants to hear my desires, so be it. She'll run out of my door, and out of my life for sure.

I think it's the only way we'll both survive.

"I want to tie your legs up and keep them spread." I stay firmly where I'm standing. "I want to spit all over you. Bite you. Claw you."

Her breaths come out in short bursts, making her soft belly flutter. But she doesn't look away from me. She doesn't even look disgusted.

"I want to spread you wide and call you names."

Her mouth parts, and she touches herself. "What kind of names?"

"Slut, whore, fucktoy." My dick hardens again. "I want to fuck your pretty mouth until you can't breathe. I want come all over your face, hair, and tits. I want to shove things into you."

Tara's cheeks flush. "What kind of things?"

I look around the room for anything. I'm not that fucking picky. "The flogger again. A riding crop. The bottle of lube. Anything that will fit."

"And… if it doesn't?"

A smile spreads across my face as I finally let the monster peek out. "We'll make it fit, Tara."

Her breath catches.

"You have every right to tell me no. The scene will stop when you call Red." I'm desperate to see if she'll actually let me do any of this to her.

Tara licks the finger she'd just shoved into her pussy. "What else do you want to do to me, Ryker Hudson?"

Fuuuuck. She's not running. "I want to get you collared on a leash, then put clamps on your cunt and tits."

Her pupils blow wide. "What else?"

"Fuck you in every hole until you can't move." I stare down my nose at her. "Then I want to fuck you some more."

"What if I pass out again?"

She will. I'll make sure of it. "I want to fuck you even when you're unconscious."

The weight of my confession has me downward spiraling. Does she see me now? Does she understand how depraved I am? She can't call Red if she's passed out. She can't make me stop fucking her at all.

"Do it," she says in a deep, sultry voice. "Do your worst."

"Did you not hear what I just fucking said?" I step forward with my jaw clenched. This woman is insane if she thinks this is okay. "Tara. I'm going to fuck you into oblivion and past that. You won't be able to use your safe word or tap me or anything. I'll use you up."

And spit you out.

My raging hard-on throbs with need. And what's worse is she's so turned on right now, I can see her wet pussy from here. She's soaked through the dress pressed to her core. The thin fabric's saturated and tells me everything I've admitted sounds right down her alley.

I want to promise her I'll stop if it's too much. I want to reassure her I won't mean the nasty things I'll say. I want to explain that it's not her that's trash, it's me.

"You have my consent, Ryker." Tara crawls over to me. "You can tie me up, use me, spit and degrade me. Hell, you can fucking piss on me if you want." She stays on her knees once she reaches my feet and my heart stammers. "I know my worth, Mr. Hudson." Tara wraps her hands around my dick. "And when we're through, you'll know yours, too."

Jesus Christ.

My eyes roll back when she takes the head of my cock into her mouth. I snap. "The fuck do you think you're doing, whore?" Her eyes flash when I say that and my heart kicks up into my throat. "Did I say you could touch me?"

Tara pulls back and drops her hands to her lap. "Sorry, Sir."

"Fuck your sorries," I growl. "Crawl over to the bed."

I hate myself already.

Tara doesn't scamper like a puppy in trouble. She prowls on her hands and knees like a goddamn cougar. It's all that holds me together as I say, "I paid a lot of fucking money for your pussy."

"Yes, you did."

"Shut your whore mouth. You only talk when I tell you to." My chest tightens. To ease the ache, I drop to my knees and lift her dress to place a gentle kiss on her soaked cunt. "This needy little pussy likes attention. Look at you, soaked already. You're such a fucking cockslut."

I spit on her pussy.

She doesn't even flinch.

Forcing myself onto my feet, I turn around and run my hands down my face as I walk away from her. I'll have to use Dmitri's stash of toys for this. There's nothing in here for me to pleasure a woman with beyond my body and some impact play tools. That's not good enough.

Heading to the closet, I pull out a large wooden box and lift the lid. Thank God D's tastes are like mine in depravity. I snag the nipple and labia clamps. He's got a couple massive dildos in here too, so I pluck the biggest one out, impressed by the weight of it. Next, I dig through my rope stash and pick out the softest ones I own.

"Ready to be tied up like an animal?"

Nodding, she keeps her eyes locked on mine instead of looking at any of the items I've brought over.

The first thing I do is thread a small ring around a long piece of rope, then I tie it around her waist, just above her belly button. The knot is simple and doesn't look as intimidating as it will be in a fucking minute. Next, I bend her right leg and quickly rig the knots to keep her knee bent. Now her calf and thigh are pressed together, bound by blue cord that's tight enough to sink into her skin which makes some of her cellulite bulge. It's fucking stunning. My hands shake when I tie her other leg the same way.

Without a word, I crawl on top of her, pressing a trail of hot kisses up her body until I reach her face. Instead of kissing her lips like I want, I keep crawling until my balls are at her throat. Then I smack her cheek and nose with my dick. "You're only good for one thing, little toy. And I'm going to play with you until you fucking break." Grabbing her hands, I truss my girl up with a purple rope and tie her bound hands to the eyehook attached to the center of the bed.

Then I shove the head of my dick between her lips. Her hot velvety tongue swirls around me, and my toes fucking curl. "Greedy little bitch." I pull out and spit on her cheek. My heart pounds when I see she hasn't reacted at all. She just stares at me as if enraptured with the fantasies of whatever I'll do next.

I wipe my spit off with my thumb. Keep your shit together, Ry.

Straddling her torso, I press my weight down on her lower body, reminding her of my size and power. Then I pluck the nipple clamps up and watch her reaction. Tara doesn't look at them. Her eyes are still deadlocked on mine.

Kneading her tits roughly, I smack the side of one and watch her breasts jiggle before falling towards her armpits. My mouth waters to play with them. I suck one into my mouth, and twirl my tongue around her hard nipple, and place the clamp on the tit I'm not playing with.

Tara's breath hitches.

Rolling her wet nipple between my fingers, pinching and pulling it, I love how responsive she is. Her skin's flushed, goosebumps rippling down her arms and legs. "What color are you?"

"Green," she whimpers as I clamp her other nipple.

They're attached by a chain, which is going to hook to the collar I've also got for her. "Lift your head." I slide my hand around her neck and slip the collar under her hair, buckling it in place before hooking her nipple clamps to the center of it.

Tara's cheeks are bright red, and pupils have swallowed her irises.

So, I slap her cheek. It's not hard enough to hurt, only to shock. "You fucking like this, you filthy little cunt?"

Tara nods.

"You're a disgusting whore." I climb off her and lick my lips, stroking my cock. "You're pathetic. So fucking needy for this dick, you"re soaking my sheets."

Tara only wiggles her ass, giving me a cue that she likes this.

Too bad that's about to change.