Chapter 22

Tara

I want him to fuck me, not a machine. But I'm not about to deny the fact that letting Ryker watch me get railed doesn't turn me on. If it's with a machine, so be it. I've always wondered what it would be like to have two men at once.

Could I make that happen while I'm here? Yes. I know damn well I could request to have Dmitri, Vault, or anyone else who works at the club fuck me with Ryker. Christ, imagining Dmitri and Ryker taking me at the same time?

I'd need stitches by the end of it.

Too bad I'm not attracted to anyone at the club other than the Dom I chose. Dmitri's hot, but Ryker is so fucking sexy it should be criminal. Now that I've had his dick, I'm certain addiction has set in.

Staring at the ropes, then the machine, then the bench, I'm suddenly eager to give this a shot. I'll call red if it's too much, even though I don't want him to be mad at me if I chicken out. I feel like the wall between us is finally cracking and the last thing I want is for him to reinforce it if I disappoint him.

"Hey." His voice is softer. "Look at me, Tara." My gaze lifts to his. "This is all about you, baby. Nothing happens without your full consent. I only brought you here because I truly think you'll like it. If I'm off base, tell me. Or if you don't want to try anything in here just yet, tell me that too. Whatever decision you make is completely fine."

I look around the room again. This suite has been off limits for as long as I've been a member. I feel like I've just gotten a golden ticket and there's no way I'm walking out of here without trying something. I didn't want to be the Butterfly just for good dick. I want to explore myself, my limits and different kinks, so I know what to go after once I'm out of here. "Go slow?"

"I'd do it no other way."

Ryker places the two bundles of rope on the bench and slips out of his shirt. Today, he's wearing dark blue jeans and a black shirt that hugs his form. Most of his tattoos are on display, and I want to ask about them. Now isn't the time, though.

"How about you go choose a dick."

I freeze. "Excuse me?"

Ryker smiles, and it's probably the first genuine one I've seen from him. It makes his eyes crinkle on the sides a little and his jaw squares off. "Go pick a dick."

I walk over to a large wooden box he's pointing at. Lifting the lid, I'm dumbstruck. "Holy cow." There are a lot of options, all of which are still in boxes, unused.

The toy inventory for the sex club must be massive.

Glancing at the machine, it's surprising how small it is. There's a long steel rod on the end where I guess you attach the dildo somehow. I don't know.

Okay. Fine. I'm actually a little excited to see how this thing works. Plucking a reasonably sized toy out of the box, I set it down beside the machine and blow out the breath I've been holding.

"Good girl. Now come back to me."

I'm getting really horny.

Why am I like this?

A familiar voice echoes in my mind, ripping through my lust with an answer. You're a disgusting little whore, Tara.

My stomach plummets.

"Hey. Woah." Ryker's suddenly holding my shoulder. "What just happened?"

"Huh?"

His face contorts with concern. "You just went all pale on me."

"Oh." I touch my cheeks. "Sorry." I'm not about to tell him I heard my stepbrother's voice in my head calling me names and slut-shaming me. That's what therapy sessions are for. "I'm just nervous."

He stares at me a little longer, then seems to accept my lie. "You sure?"

"Yup." I slap on a big smile. "Let's do this, Sir."

He flashes another grin, but this one doesn't make his eyes crinkle. "Okay."

Ryker unravels the first bundle and makes a huge loop, then places it around my neck, with the circle hitting my bellybutton. He moves behind me and knots it at my neck. Then he brings my hand up so I can feel it. "Pull this at any point and it'll all come undone. Understand?"

My heart skips a beat. "Yes, Sir."

He takes another bundle of rope off the bench and unravels it. I want to fill the silence between us with words, but my head's a little jumbled. Shame's setting in because I feel awkward.

"Talk to me, Tara."

"What should I say?"

"Whatever's going through your mind."

That's not happening. "I feel silly being here."

Ryker stops rigging. "Why?"

My stomach knots. Tears prick my eyes. This was a mistake. "I feel like I'm using you."

He stills and I watch his Adam's apple bob.

A mountain of guilt dumps out of me. "I'm sorry for causing you so much trouble at the ceremony. I know you didn't want me to be the Butterfly. I shouldn't have leveraged the property to get to you. And I'm sorry you're stuck in this position."

"I'm not stuck. I chose to be here."

"No, I chose you to be here because I picked you to be my Dom." Before he can argue, I add. "I don't trust anyone. And I'm not well-versed in kinks. I just know vanilla doesn't do it for me. Ever. I can barely get myself off, much less have some boring office manager pull missionary on me and expect me to come. I need chaos turned all the way up. I think I need to be overpowered so I can shut down my brain and let loose. Joining the Monarch only reinforced the desires I have." I can't believe I'm saying all this now. "And you're the one who can give me what I need."

"Any of my Doms can give you what you need, Tara. It's why they're here. It's why I built this place. So people can explore kinks safely. My staff are trained to pleasure members safely."

"Do you wish I'd chosen one of them and not you?" My voice cracks when I ask this. I feel sick. I can't read his expression at all.

Ryker stares at me for what feels like a long time. "No," he finally says.

Does he mean that?

Instead of elaborating, he goes back to his ropework. The silence between us makes me want to scream. "I watched you," he says quietly. "Every time you came into the club, I'd watch you."

Our gazes collide, and I don't say a word.

"I couldn't pull away from you." He pulls the rope taut and keeps rigging. "I think if you'd picked someone else to pleasure you, I would have killed them."

It doesn't sound like a lie.

We both stare at each other again. He blinks and the intensity of his words shifts, as does his body language. He pulls the rope snug again and clears his throat. "What color are you, Butterfly?"

"Green." Getting tied up isn't scary or claustrophobic like I thought it would be. "Super green."

"How's the pressure?"

"Nice." It's like getting a big hug.

"Good." He continues working on the knots and tension. Every once in a while, he has me hold the rope, which I like because it gives me something to do and makes me feel like I'm part of the process.

"You're doing really well, Tara."

God, the way he says my name. He could bind in me barbed wire if he said my name like that while doing it.

"There." He tightens the last knot at my lower back. "All done."

Spinning around for him to appreciate his handiwork, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror to our left. "Oh wow." My boobs are still out, nipples hard. My waist is snatched. I look and feel amazing.

"Fucking stunning," Ryker says, admiring me. The ropes line up perfectly and are a combo of rose gold and black. It's really pretty. "Lay back for me, Butterfly."

Climbing on the bench is easy. I still have use of my arms, hands, and legs.

"God help me, Tara. You're a fucking knockout in every position I put you in."

Ryker leans down and licks my pussy. I can't believe how much he enjoys oral. The man has feasted on me so much, it must be his favorite form of sex. My toes curl when he plunges two fingers into my pussy and sucks on my clit.

"Go slower." Otherwise, I'll come too quick, and I don't want that yet.

He chuckles against my sensitive flesh. "As you wish, Butterfly."

His pace changes over and over, edging me until I'm sweaty and shaking. Cranking my body up and then letting it relax back into a chaotic buzz, he works my lusty body until I'm whimpering with need for a release.

I think I'm dying.

"Please, Sir." I lift my head to look at him. His eyes flutter open from between my thighs and he looks at me. "Please make me come now."

He snaps his fingers and points to his left. I turn my head and see our reflection in the mirror.

Holy hell, this is hot. Ryker's on his knees, hard dick out. He's pumping it with one hand while using the other to play with my pussy. His mouth is firmly sealed over my clit and he—

"RYKER!" Arching my back, I come so hard I shake from head to toe. The ropes stretched across my chest hold me together while I rattle apart. The pleasure's so intense, stars burst in my vision. I lose my mind and buck on the bench, screaming, as he continues to bring me out of one orgasm and straight into another. "FUCK!" I can't take in a full breath. My thighs clamp around his head.

He growls and snaps his finger again. I immediately look back into the mirror he points to and watch myself come undone a third time. I barely recognize myself. Riding out this ungodly wave of pleasure, I gyrate my pussy against his mouth until I feel his teeth on me. The pain is sharp and delicious. I easily orgasm again. "Ryker." Tears spring to my eyes. "I can't take your mouth anymore."

It's a miracle I haven't fallen off this damn bench.

"You did so well, baby." Ryker rubs his cock against my slick pussy.

I'm desperate for him to shove it inside me. I want him to fill me. Stretch me. Come all over me.

"My Butterfly wants dick, doesn't she?"

"Yes. God, yes. Please."

He walks away.

No, no, no, where is he going?

Ryker picks up the machine and, without saying another word, unboxes the dildo and hooks it to the end of the rod. "What color are you, Tara?"

"Green." Bright, glorious, vibrant green.

He carries the machine over and positions it between my legs, pressing the tip of the dildo against my opening. "Breathe, baby."

"I… I am breathing."

"No. I need you to breathe slower. You're starting to hyperventilate."

"Well, if… I am… it's your fault."

He smiles down at me. "Inhale." He sucks in a big breath. "Exhale." He blows it out.

I want him to kiss me and steal the air from my fucking lungs. Breathing isn't necessary if I can suffocate in Ryker instead.

"We can't proceed until you do as you're told, Butterfly."

I suck in air from my nose and blow it out through clenched teeth. Clinging to the side of the bench, my fingernails dig into the leather and it's like my whole body is about to rattle apart again. "I'm still green."

"Put your feet here," he says, and I realize he's popped out two footrests from under the bench.

Oh. My. God. I've never felt so desperate and vulnerable and terrified and turned on. This is confusing.

"Tell me when you're ready." Ryker waits by my feet, holding a remote. His dick is still hard, out, and unused.

"I want your dick in my mouth while this machine fucks me." I can't believe I just let that fly.

"As the Butterfly wishes." He gradually walks around to stand by my head. Our gazes lock again. "If you can't say red, tap my leg twice and we stop. Understood?"

I can't believe we're going to do this. "Yes, Sir."

Smiling, Ryker hits the button on the remote. The machine kicks on and the dildo shoves into me slowly. It pumps in an out with a boring rhythm that almost annoys me. I'm too needy for it to go this slow. "Faster."

He speeds it up and I lay my head back to enjoy it.

Being locked in this room, bound with rope, with only Ryker, makes it feel okay to be overwhelmed by my desires, curiosity, and needs. What happens in the club, stays in the club. No one will ever know that I'm being used like this.

Or that I like it so much.

My head's buzzy and the ropes around my chest feel like they're the only thing holding me together. "Faster." This bit of chaos almost makes me forget my life. But it's not enough. "Faster."

Ryker's eyes darken as he clutches the remote. "What color are you?"

"Green." The rope knots on my back dig into my spine. I like it. "I'm green. Please make it harder, faster, something." I must look obscene the way I'm trussed up and splayed on this bench with a dildo ramming my cunt. Shame heats my face.

Ryker must hit the button because the machine fucks me a little harder.

But it isn't enough and I'm so frustrated, I scream.