11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Scarlett

"That guy looked boring," Ryder admonished.

I turn and look at Ryder as we sit on the curb beside his parked Harley Davidson Street 750 Motorcycle. The boys had been teaching me all about motorcycles. Who would have thought that there were so many brands and names?

After I had allowed Ryder to sweep me away, we rode to a small taco stand by my apartment building. We ordered chicken tacos and then sat on the curb, watching the nightlife around us glowing.

Even though I agreed with him, I still had to argue. "How dare you say that. You don't know him," I scolded. I don't know who I am kidding, though.

Ryder smirks and shakes his head in frustration. "That's the point, Scar," he says.

I almost choke on my bite of the taco as I hear the nickname. "Scar?" I ask.

"Yeah, I think it fits you," he says, winking.

"If I ask you not to call me that, are you going to listen to me?" I ask, already knowing the answer to my own question.

"Nah, I like it," he says, shrugging.

"You need someone who is loose and knows how to have a good time. That guy was looking for a woman to be his wife and make sure his boring clothes were ironed every day. You need a man who is reckless and wild. Who will make you laugh and drive you insane at the same time? Someone who sees you for you and respects the fact that you are a badass boss bitch who knows what she wants in life."

Did he just call me a bitch? I think. Anyway, the rest of what he said was partly true, but he was wrong about one thing; I didn't want to be reckless. I had that once before, and that came with heartbreak and deceit.

"You can try and compliment me and make me feel like I want you, but we both know a commitment isn't what you are looking for. And for your information, I was reckless once, and I don't think I could survive the destruction of that again," I say, my breath catching as I stop myself from saying more.

I hadn't meant to spill that much truth, but somehow it just came pouring out of me. I expect Ryder to laugh or to realize that I am too much of a hassle to chase after. Instead, he cradles my face in his hands and forces me to look at him.

"I don't know who hurt you, but I am not that guy. You have created this illusion in your mind that I am this bad guy," he seethes, shaking his head. "What if I told you that I want a relationship. That I hold onto the belief that real love truly exists," he finishes, his dark eyes burning straight into my soul.

Oh shit.

I have no words right now. All thoughts are gone as I stare into the eyes of this magnificent man who could drive me wild if I let him.

"It's a long story," I say, hoping he takes the hint that I don't want to get into that mess.

"I have time," Ryder pushes.

I close my eyes for a moment and let out a deep breath. I hadn't talked about my ex or the events that had brought me out to Los Angeles in a long time, not since I had grown close to Allison. I guess now it was time to share that painful history again.

"Alright, but I warned you," I begin. "I was engaged right after college. My ex-fiancé, Josh, he cheated on me with my best friend at the time. I caught them in bed. And then…" I couldn't finish my sentence. It was too painful to think about what followed... Catching Josh with my best friend, Britley, at that moment, felt like the worst thing that could have happened to me. Ryder nudged me, offering encouragement for me to continue. "When I caught them, it broke me. I was speechless. I ran out of the room and got sick in the living room. They came running in after me, and I expected them to tell me that it was all a mistake. That they didn't mean it, but that never came. What they told me instead, was that they were in love. And...she was pregnant. I knew it was all over. Everything I had hoped and dreamed for us was all gone with those words. So, I packed up everything I owned, went to my parent's house, and then applied for any and all jobs I could find. When the opening at Future Leaders caught my attention, I applied. They offered me a job, and I moved out here without ever thinking twice," I finish.

Ryder watches me with wide eyes, and a lone tear slips down my cheek.

Reaching over, he brushes his thumb across my cheek, removing the tear. I gasp, unsure of what to do.

"Stop crying, you're too beautiful to cry over someone who didn't realize how special you are," Ryder says, staring deep into my eyes.

I watch the ocean blue eyes and realize if I allowed myself, I could easily fall for him. But, I know that I can't let myself do that.

"Ryder, you barely know me, how can you say that?" I ask, laughing through my tears.

"Because I know what it's like to feel like you are constantly running from bullets. To know how it feels not to want to talk about things in our past that hurt us. But that moment doesn't define you. What you are doing now does. Baby, everything will be alright. We just need to get you away from the hurt and see what I see when I look at you," he adds.

There's a part of me that wants to get up and run away from him. The heaviness of his words makes it hard to breathe. I ran away from my past and never looked back, but still, it haunts me and prevents me from moving forward. I am like a stalled car. My engine is running, but I'm not going anywhere. I want to be happy and experience love again, but right now, my heart has to finish mending and healing.

I keep my eyes locked on Ryder. "You know, you are pretty incredible," I say.

"Yeah, I know," he teases me.

I laugh and am thankful for his humor. "I think you are one of the kindest people I have ever met, and if this had happened at a different moment in time for me, I would love to be with you," I admit, realizing I have shown him my vulnerability, so why stop now. "But right now, I can't open my heart up to anyone. All I can offer you is friendship."

I am not sure what he is going to say next, so I just sit there and turn my gaze back to the street. People walk past us, enjoying the beauty of the night, and I envy them for their carefree attitudes as they laugh and talk.

Grabbing my hand, Ryder pulls my gaze back to his. "I wish I could ask you to reconsider, but I respect that you need time. I can handle being your friend, maybe even friends with benefits," he says, wiggling his eyes at me seductively.

I laugh out loud again, and it feels good. "We will see, hotshot," I tease back.

We finish eating and then Ryder helps me up.

He offers to drive me the short distance back to my apartment, and I allow him. As I ride with him, I feel the freeing sensation that riding on a motorcycle brings. I can only imagine the limitless emotions he must feel when he's racing. With wind racing through you and the world blazing past you at incredible speeds-- it must be incredible.

As we approach my apartment, I realize I don't want the night to end. Oh no, what is Ryder Raven doing to me?