Chapter Fourteen

Neve

It had been a week since I'd arrived at the club and I was finally starting to relax. Finn hadn't bothered to call me again, which was helping me to feel less anxious. Although deep down, I wasn't sure if it was a blessing or a curse, at least when he called, I knew what he was up to. However, Ryder had a new plan, and we'd decided that doing it all illegally wasn't going to work, we need to prove without a doubt that Harlee is safer with me. Our main problem was that I've never reported Finn for any of the abuse and the only record of anything happening was the school's safeguarding concern. It's frustrating that it isn't enough, surely one time hitting a child is plenty, but Ryder thinks we need more.

I take a breath and head over to where Sarah is working with Harlee. I have to make the effort with her if I want her to accept I'm a part of Ryder's life, because hopefully, I'll also be a part of Alfie's. "Do you want a drink?" I ask.

"No, where's Ryder"? she asks, her tone unfriendly.

"He's just at the gym. Can I help?"

"He's supposed to be coming over tonight for dinner. We need to discuss Alfie."

I stiffen at her words, he hadn't mentioned dinner. "Well, I'm sure he hasn't forgotten."

Sarah smiles, arching a brow. She crosses her legs and her short skirt rides up enough to show she's wearing stockings held by suspenders. Who would wear that to school? "He'd better not have, I've brought his favourite dinner in."

I force a smile before walking away. I won't bite and it's clearly what she wants. As I take a seat at the bar, Ryder comes in looking flushed from his workout. He spots me and heads over, kissing me on the head. "Good day?" he asks. I nod. "I've had the afternoon from hell."

"Sassy is waiting for you," I mutter, trying to sound less bothered than I am.

He groans, "Oh crap, I forgot to tell you, I'm going over to hers to talk about Alfie."

I nod, keeping my eyes fixed on the television. "Yeah, I heard."

"Sorry, It slipped my mind," he says, kissing me on the head for a second time. I don't respond and he sighs heavily before trudging off in Sarah's direction.

I watch as he greets her warmly, and then Harlee reaches up and he pulls her into his arms while chatting with Sarah.

"You ready?" he asks.

Sarah nods, gathering up her things. "Is steak still your favourite?"

He looks delighted. "Man, you know it, but seriously you don't have to cook."

She rolls her eyes, "You've been at work. A home cooked meal is just what you need."

Her words niggle at me. I haven't cooked one meal for Ryder, he often orders in or snacks, but I've never seen him eat a good meal. He heads back to me, handing Harlee over. "I'll be back in an hour or so," he tells me. I nod and he rolls his eyes in irritation before following Sarah out.

An hour turns to two, then three, then four and by eleven, I'm annoyed. I shouldn't be. I have no right to be. Ryder's done nothing to make me doubt him and he's reassured me so much, more than any other man would bother to do. I eventually drift off to sleep, where I mainly dream of Ryder being swayed by Sarah's stocking clad legs. I wake with a start when I hear him stumble into the bedroom. He curses before chuckling to himself. I glance at the bedside clock to see it's almost one in the morning. "Ryder?" I whisper, turning on the lamp. He's holding on to the wall for support and he gives me a stupid grin. "I was worried."

He pushes off the wall and falls face first onto the end of the bed. "Yeah, it took longer than I thought."

"Did you manage to sort anything out about Alfie?" He chuckles again and shrugs his shoulders. "Wasn't that the point?"

"Yeah, but then Sass opened a bottle of my favourite whiskey and we got reminiscing. You know, there was a time when she was my bestest friend," he mutters, almost wistfully.

"Great," I huff, lying back down and kicking my feet into his ribs. He grunts but doesn't move.

"Are you mad with me?" He sounds amused.

"Should I be?"

"I was catching up with an old friend," he says, turning onto his side and dragging himself to his half of the bed. "I told you a million times, there's nothing to worry about."

"Right, but then you go for a chat about your son and end up coming home hours later, shit faced. Good night, Ryder."

He sighs heavily and I pull the sheets up to my chin. I can't help how I feel.

I kiss Harlee on the head and she rushes off in the direction of her friends. "Have a great day, Popple."

This morning I'd woken with a fresh mind and the intention of getting my life back on track. I need routine and so does Harlee. Ryder had groaned and covered his head with the pillow when I'd tried to wake him to discuss it, so I'd gone ahead and made my own decision, after all, I'm a grown woman and I can do as I please.

I'd quit the job at the hotel but I knew exactly where I'd be welcomed, and as I push open the door to the florist, Mollie smiles wide. "Hey Neve." She dropped her cutting tool and the rose stem and rounded the counter to hug me in greeting. "How are you?"

"I'm good. I needed to get out the house. Do you need a hand?"

"Oh my god, if you're serious, I could kiss you right now. I have a tonne of orders." She nodded towards the pile of note paper on the worktop.

"I'll get stuck in then." I take my things into the back room and swap my jacket for an apron.

"Weren't there any extra shifts at work?" Mollie asks when I rejoin her.

"I quit. It's a long story involving bikers, Finn, and a not very understanding boss."

"Oh, that's not good. How will you manage financially?"

"Ryder's helping me out," I tell her wincing. "I'll get back on my feet when things have died down with Finn."

"Okay, fill me in," she says, and I do. I tell her everything that led me to this point and she stares open mouthed.

"Christ Neve, your life is like a soap drama. Are you sure Harlee is safe at school?"

"Yes. I'm going early to collect her, and all of the teachers know that she is not to be released to her Dad."

My phone rings out and I see Ryders name and groan. I'm surprised it took him two hours to be honest, so I paste a smile on my face and answer, making sure to sound relaxed and breezy.

"Hi Ryder."

"Don't you dare tell me you're out without an escort?"

"I am out without an escort. Harlee is at school and…"

"What?" he roars.

"She needs routine and-"

"She needs to be safe and that's why we agreed you'd both stay here."

"Why are you yelling?"

"Because you drive me nuts, Neve. I'm doing everything I can to keep you both safe and you ignore me. Is this because of last night?"

"No."

"I feel like it is. If Harlee is in school, you won't need to have Sassy around?"

"Don't be ridiculous," I mutter, my cheeks reddening at my obvious jealousy. "She's my daughter and I make those decisions."

The line goes silent and I glance at the screen to make sure we're still connected. He clears his throat and then says, "Message received loud and clear, Neve. Apologies for overstepping."

I sigh, hating that he's hurt by my words. "Look sorry, I just meant…"

"I know exactly what you meant, Neve. Forget it. I'm seeing Alfie tonight so I don't know if I'll be here when you get home."

"For an hour or six?" I ask, unable to hold back.

He scoffs. "Right. I should go before we both end up saying something we'll regret."

I'm not ready for him to go and so I blurt words out before fully thinking them through. "Actually, I was thinking I should probably go home, as in back to my own place." I regret them instantly and wince, waiting for his reply.

"Right. Whatever you want, Neve."

He disconnects and I stare at the blank screen. My heart twists painfully and I bite my inner cheek to stop myself from crying. It doesn't work and tears form in my eyes.

"That sounded like a breakup," says Mollie gently. "Are you okay?"

I shrug, it felt like one, that's for sure. "He's trying to get to know his son and deep down I know he likes me, but I feel threatened by his ex. She's beautiful and they have history."

"Why are you talking like you're not beautiful?" she demands, rubbing my arm. "You're gorgeous, Neve. Don't let your insecurities ruin this."

"But they didn't fall out of love and break-up, he cheated on her. There's so much unfinished business between them but it never got sorted because he went to prison. Now he's back…" I trail off, realising that I'm rambling. "And I don't feel beautiful at side of her. She hated me when she was just Harlee's teacher, but now she knows about me and Ryder, she looks like she wants to kill me."

"Has Ryder given you any reason to doubt him?" I shake my head sadly. "Then stop letting trust issues ruin what you have. It sounds to me like the guy's doing everything he can to make you happy, Neve, which is more than Finn ever did."

I groan, burying my face in my hands. "I think I've just blown it now, he's sick of me and I don't blame him."

"You've spent too long playing games because you had to survive Finn. Ryder isn't the same. You can relax and enjoy this relationship. Not everything will end in arguments and violence."

Ryder

I've spent the entire day yelling at people. The second I woke up and realised Neve had been gone for most of the morning, I just knew it would end badly, and that wasn't helped by the massive hangover. I tracked Neve's mobile to a florist and sent a prospect to watch her. Forcing her back here when we're both pissed, won't make things better, so I'll give her time to cool off, but that doesn't mean I won't watch her every move. The other prospect is stationed outside Harlee's school, watching for any signs of that prick turning up.

And now, I was sat outside Sassy's nice house, feeling nervous. I don't think I've ever felt fucking nervous in my life, but meeting Alfie feels huge.

The front door opens and Sassy stands there smiling at me. Her long white flowing dress almost makes her look like a saint. She's a vision of beauty, she always had been. I make my way to her and hold out the small bunch of flower's I'd picked up from the shop up the road. It wasn't planned but I felt bad coming empty handed. I also got it on good authority from Harlee, that five-year-old boys like Paw Patrol, and so the gift for Alfie is tucked safely under my arm.

Sassy opens the door wider for me to go inside, "I wondered how long you were going to sit out here for," she teases.

"I was just gathering myself," I mutter, and she points for me to go through to the living room.

I swallow the huge lump in my throat when my eyes land upon the small dark haired little boy, and relief floods me when I see he's watching a huge dog on television, just like the one I've brought him. "It's his favourite show, he won't respond to either of us until its finished," says Sassy with a smile, "Coffee?" I nod, following her into the kitchen. "How was your head this morning? We finished the whole bottle off," she says, grabbing two cups. "Reminded me of old times."

"It was sore," I admit. "I couldn't get my backside out of bed." My mind wonders to Neve. She was right to be pissed last night. I didn't even call to tell her I would be so late. I was too wrapped up in impressing Sass so she'd let me see my kid. I pull out my mobile and check for messages, when I see nothing, I dial the prospect. "Just gotta make a quick call," I tell Sassy as she stirs the coffee.

He answers straight away, "They're both home Pres, she picked the kid up early from school and she's been in the house since."

"Thanks, I'll be there later. Stay posted until I arrive." I disconnect and Sassy hands me a coffee.

"Everything okay?"

"All's good."

"You seem distracted," she pushes. "Is it anything to do with Harlee and her Mum? I noticed she was back in school today."

"I'm not distracted, I'm fine," I snap. I take a calming breath. "I just want to meet my kid."

"We can do it another time if you've got places to be," she says, arching a brow.

I exhale, "It's been a long day, not helped by the hangover. I'm not in a rush, I'm just tired."

Before she can reply, Alfie runs through and Sassy gathers him in her arms, placing kisses over his face. "So, remember I told you that a special person was coming to meet you tonight?" she asks. Alfie nods, staring at me with curiosity. "Well this is Mummy's friend, Ryder."

"You have a funny name," says Alfie, his voice barely a whisper.

I smile. "My real name is Ethan. Ryder is my biker name." I slide the present across the worktop towards him, "I got you a present."

Sassy places him on the worktop and he opens the paper wrapping, gasping at the cuddly dog. "Wow, that's the one you wanted," says Sassy, looking impressed. "Good gift."

"Thank you," says Alfie, grinning whilst cuddling the toy.

Neve

I tuck Harlee's blankets around her soft, warm body, adding a gentle goodnight kiss to her forehead before turning out the lamp. She's spent the last half hour crying for Ryder, and I'd almost caved and called him for her, but then realised I couldn't spend the next few weeks doing that, I'd never get over him. I guess we both need to get used to not having him around.

I get downstairs and do a quick tidy up of Harlee's toys before sitting at the kitchen table and opening my laptop. If I'm going to be an independent woman again, I need a job. Part of me wants to leave London and start again, but the thought of that is scary, especially alone.

Emails ping, getting my attention and I open the link, realising they're from a dating app I'd signed up to one drunken night after my split from Finn. I smile at the email telling me I have new activity on my account and my curiosity peaks. It can't hurt to look. I make myself a coffee then begin sifting through the men I've been matched with.

"You moving on already?" Ryder's deep voice rumbles through me and I scream in fright, jumping up off my chair to find him standing at the back door.

"Christ Ryder, you scared the shit out of me."

He saunters over, peering at the laptop. "Like's walks in the park and romantic nights in," he reads aloud. "Looking for younger woman to put the spark back into life." Ryder rolls his eyes, "Desperate."

"How did you get in?" I demand, even though I'm secretly thrilled to see him.

"Why are you on dating sites?"

"It came up on my email, it's an old profile, I was just being nosey."

"Or looking to replace me?" He arches an accusing brow as I lower back into my seat and click off the site.

"Did you see Alfie?"

"He's the double of me when I was that age," he says with a smile. "He's a cute little kid."

"You'll get to see him more then?" What I'm asking is if he'll see more of Sarah, which is stupid because of course he will.

"Siren I've told you over and over, you have nothing to worry about. Let's talk about today and you going AWOL."

"Let's talk about you going out last night and going AWOL until the early hours, at which point you returned drunk." He smirks and I know he's turned on by my anger. I sigh, "I need my job, I need my independence and I have a responsibility to Harlee."

"Yes, you do, to keep her safe. What you did today put her at risk."

"I can't live my life hiding from Finn. He hasn't hurt her before I don't see why he would now," I reason.

"Because now you're with me and he hates me."

I groan aloud, we're going around in circles. "I need my own money."

"I'll give you money," he offers.

"I want my own money, from a job. I need to take care of Harlee myself. It's not that I don't appreciate you helping me, but Finn did that once and then he left, and I didn't have a clue how to pay bills. I've spent a long time making myself independent."

His expression softens. "Fine, I'll give you a job at the club, cleaning, cooking, whatever you want to do."

"No, that's not what I meant."

He growls in frustration. "Look, you want a job and I need help around the club. Take the job so we can move forward. I can keep you safe at the club, I can't keep you safe if you stay here."

I close the laptop. "I thought we were over, you were so mad earlier."

Ryder takes my chin in his fingers, forcing me to look at him. "I told you that I'm not going anywhere. Whatever happens I'm here to stay. What do I need to do to prove that?" I shrug helplessly. Ryder could have his pick of women, the club girls are always around him hoping to get noticed. Why the hell would he want me when I come with all this baggage. He kisses me on the lips. "I don't know what else to do, baby. I'm yours, you're mine, that's it. No one else can come close. I'm only interested in you."

"Why?" I ask.

He frowns, "Why do I want you?" I nod. He smiles, "you're amazing, Neve. Everything about you is from the tip of your nose," he kisses me there, "To the tips of your toes. I don't see past you, Neve. You're it for me."

"What happened last night?" I ask, breaking the eye contact.

He sighs, "I spent time catching up with Sassy. Before all the shit, we were good together, friends. We lost that after what I did. So we talked over a bottle of whiskey, and I should have considered how that'd make you feel, I'm sorry for that. But I'm new to this too, I'm still learning. And I'll fuck up a lot, just like you will, but it doesn't mean that every time we argue, we're splitting up. I want your profile off that dating site now and tomorrow, we'll make us official the way of the club."

"Official?" I repeat. It's not the first time he'd mentioned it but I didn't have a clue what he meant.

He grins. "It means parties, tattoos and a whole lot of biker love. I should have made it a priority but shits been crazy. After we're official, you'll see how serious I am about us."